Ok, so let me just set the stage for you:
This is an ordinary, essentially meaningless regular season game. We have already ensured playoff qualification, we can only affect our seeding at this point in the season. So we go into the game just looking to have fun and score some goals.
The team we're playing is a little bit inferior to us, but not by much; they have some decent players. Anyways, so we dominate the early run of the game but somehow they score first. So no big deal. Eventually we get a corner, which I expertly played into the box for my #1 target man, the 6'3" Ben "Peter Crouch" Rittenhouse. He finished it, and we're level.
Then, after a lot of really ambiguous and ugly play, a mistake in the defense saw us go down 2-1. Ugh, right? But we still have like 30 minutes so we're good.
Well, 27 minutes go by and we are playing awfully. We can't keep the ball on the ground, it's just not good. So anyways, the ref calls out "3 minutes left!" and so we get desperate. My good buddy Dan Boghean plays a long ball up the field, basically at the goal but a little off to the left... anyways, I was cherry picking (with my back to the goal, even with the post and maybe 10 feet from the endline), hoping to tee up a team mate with another of my skillful passes. As the ball comes to me, I realize that nobody is in a good position for a shot so I made a last second decision to blindly take a shot on goal. Well, this turned out to be a fabulous decision because about a tenth of a second after I swiped at Danny-Bo's pass, I heard that wonderful clink of the woodwork, followed by a chorus of "F***s!" from the other team. I looked behind me to see the ball in the back of the ol' onion bag. Suck on that, other team, it's 2-2!
So at this point we are all majorly jacked up. I felt kind of embarassed at scoring such a ludicrous goal at such a time in the game, but whatever, it was more of a sweet feeling than a shameful one. So anyways there's like less than a minute left by now. They take the kick off, then immediately proceed to turn the ball over to Luke "I am literally from a town called Goochville" Gall, who then fed the aforementioned Romanian Dan Boghean on the left. The opposition had NOBODY on that side of the field, and I mean nobody. Dan bolted towards goal with the ball, put a little oakey-doke on the keeper, and buried it. ACF AFC leads for the first time,3-2.
A few short moments later, the ref blows the whistle, game over, we win. SO SICK. One of the best finishes I've ever played in, though the rest of the game was definitely sub-par. But yeah, great time! That team was so pissed... Bring on the playoffs!!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Absurd
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DpXpPZ1RsP3Y%26feature%3Dplayer_embedded&h=ecf2bbc6aca205e6676e5f49d8d3cf05
I do not have time to give this clip justice, but this is absurd. Obviously, Drogba overreacted, but come on! If any cards are going to be thrown down, Man U should be on the receiving end.
I do not have time to give this clip justice, but this is absurd. Obviously, Drogba overreacted, but come on! If any cards are going to be thrown down, Man U should be on the receiving end.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Power Rankings, September 20
Ok guys, another week is in the bag, and another set of Power Rankings on the way. A thriller in Manchester left City unable to break into the top 2, but they have now firmly solidified themselves as not only Top 4 contenders, but title contenders. Tottenham seems to have fallen back to Earth, and sad to say, it looks like anything better than 6th will be a tall order for Spurs, especially considering the resurgent Villans. Without any further ado, here are the rankings.
1. Chelsea Last Week: 1
And the vice grip on first remains! Chelsea is looking rather tough to top this year, and after dismantling Spurs, they are showing that most teams just aren't in their class. Two huge questions for Chelsea now though. How long is Drogba out? And who will score?
2. Manchester United Last Week: 2
Man United is looking rather frisky already this year. An absolutely thrilling derby win that might just put Michael Owen into...the heart of United fans? Who would ever have thought I would type that one day? Weird times. Well, the Mancs are blowing up, and I think I speak for the soccer-watching community in saying I'm waiting for their match with Chelsea with baited breath.
3. Manchester City Last Week: 3
Well, they really could have jumped to 1 with a big-time win, but, not everything can work out so splendidly for the Middle Eastlands. They're much better than anyone really predicted, and Sparky deserves boatloads of credit, especially considering how much shit was talked about him (myself included) and they were quite unlucky to lose that match to United. A great derby, it showed their on equal footing with United. Watch out, they could win this thing.
4. Arsenal Last Week: 5
Well, two tough losses to teams above them in the rankings shouldn't throw them down the list. Another comprehensive blowout of a lesser team shows that while Arsenal still has some figuring out to do when it comes to beating other top sides (this will be most worrying in the Champions League), nobody destroys lesser teams better right now. Comprehensive blowout of Wigan, and I'll be interested to see how they do at the Cottage this weekend.
5. Tottenham Hotspur Last Week: 4
Well, they just pulled an Arsenal. They lost twice in a row to better teams and are getting written off. I don't think they're contenders, and really, it'll be a miracle if they make the Top 4, but they're a strong side who is really punching above their weight right now. Let's hope they can keep it going, but as the season wears on, how will the Lilywhites hold up?
6. Aston Villa Last Week: 7
Look, they beat Portsmouth. Big deal, I know. But really, they haven't lost a Premier League match since their opening loss to Wigan. So, why exactly is everyone down on them? They beat Liverpool and have won everything that they should have. If they can grab another 3 points this weekend at Ewood Park, they'll have a lot at stake when City comes to visit, and if they can get points out of that match, maybe, JUST maybe, they can contend for the Top 4 again.
7. Liverpool Last Week: 6
Title contenders, eh? It's been a rough start to the season for Liverpool. Outside of comprehensive victories against Stoke City and Burnley, they've lost to Tottenham and Villa, and have needed thrilling last-minute finishes to beat West Ham and Bolton, not to mention they had a not-so-convincing Champions League win over some team from Hungary. If anyone is looking vulnerable in the Big Four, it's clearly the Reds, and unless Aquilani channels Zidane when he gets back, things aren't looking up anytime soon. Liverpool is looking like Tottenham of the Berbatov-Keane days. They have some world-class players, but too many average players and a lack of chemistry will prevent them from making the Champions League. Let's hope for my sanity that they turn things around.
8. Burnley Last Week: 13
OK, this part of the table is really hard. Why? Because normally, the way I go about these rankings is I check my table from last week, and see what changed. Normally this doesn't involve every team from 8-12 losing (or drawing with Bolton, which is basically a loss) so I had to go with Burnley, who beat Sunderland despite being significantly outplayed. If Sunderland had held on to win, they'd be 8th, but alas, no one remembers that game they outplayed and lost, and in the end, the points belong to Burnley. And how about David Nugent? Who knew he still had it in him? I think it would be great if he got back to scoring goals, the man has been through hell and back with supporters and it would be sweet vindication for him to hit 15 this season.
9. Sunderland Last Week: 9
One of the more unlucky 3-1 losses you'll see this year, so really, it would be harsh to drop them anywhere, especially considering they put in a great game at Turf Moor, which is quickly turning into Britannia Redux. Sunderland has a real quality side, and I think they can do some damage, but given the strength above them, there is just no way they'll make a European competition without winning a Cup.
10. Stoke City Last Week: 10
Look, I know Stoke is not a great traveling side, but really, only a point against Bolton? Poor form. To be fair, no one was expecting miracles, and they were rather unlucky to give away a penalty in the 89th, but those points are lost nonetheless. Stoke is a more consistent Burnley, in that they won't have wild fluctuations like the Clarets but they won't be beating top teams at home too often either. Well, they can prove that wrong this weekend if they can put a dent in United's title ambitions with an upset.
11. Fulham Last Week: 8
Another awful traveling team, but really, Wolves? A lackluster performance, and frankly, I'm sick of seeing teams that can be world-beaters at home just slump to disappointing loss after disappointing loss on the road. Fulham doesn't look like they'll be able to get back into Europe this season with the emergence of City and Spurs crowding them out, so they should really live it up while they're in it, because they won't be going back.
12. Everton Last Week: 14
They're crawling up the standings, and if they can get a nice little run going, they'll maybe make it back to the top half! They already have three losses on the campaign, so they'll need quite a run to really make any sort of attempt to get into Europe. However, unlike the teams I just said weren't good enough, Everton is good enough, and at this point have only one less loss than Tottenham. But no more joking around, results like today's need to become commonplace, and Everton needs to get back to business.
13. Wigan Athletic Last Week: 11
I know, I know. Birmingham and Wolves have one more point! Not really relevant, as Wigan is a better team than either. They just happened to play Arsenal at home this week, and got pummeled for it. Wigan now has Chelsea to contend with. So, they'll probably drop further in rankings next week, but I expect them to bounce back in the long run. It is always hard to get blown out though, and considering it'll happen this weekend too, I'm curious to see how Martinez can rally the troops.
14. Wolverhampton Wanderers Last Week: 17
A quality win over a disappointing Fulham, you still can't take away the fact that Wolves won just as much as Fulham lost. This year is going to be interesting in the Premier League, as you have tons of team who either seem roughly equal at either the top, the middle and the bottom, and considering we are about 6 or 7 deep in each area, that will make this year's relegation fight quite interesting. The points this weekend were huge, and any result at the Stadium of Light will be just another boost in the arm.
15. Birmingham City Last Week: 16
I mean, it's Hull but still a good win. As I've said before, Birmingham is frightfully boring, and I don't really enjoy writing about them. I don't know anything about them, and don't care to. Another 1-0 game, oh joy! And guess how they scored, wait I'll ruin it, header. YAWN.
16. West Ham United Last Week: 12
Seems like quite a big drop for a team that barely lost to Liverpool, but the situation warranted it. After all Bolton just did it too, how hard can it be? I know the excuses though, it wasn't a game they had to win, blah blah blah. But here's a scary thought: they don't have an easy game until Hull. When is that game you ask? That's 7 games away. They have 6 games they could legitimately lose and could be staring at 4 points after 11 matches. They have following matches upcoming (home games in CAPS): Manchester City, FULHAM, Stoke City, ARSENAL, Sunderland, EVERTON. So, their easiest game there is what? A trip to Britannia or Stadium of Light? Or a home match against Fulham or Everton. Needless to say, sometimes you need to win hard games.
17. Blackburn Rovers Last Week: 15
Really, only above Bolton because they seem feistier, and Bolton just seems to be a touch unlucky. Thoroughly dismantled by the corpse of Everton, which may actually be returning to life. A tough round of matches upcoming for Rovers as well, and they'll really have to capitalize on any chance they get. If that means Blackburn needs to park the bus everywhere they go, I'm sure Allardyce won't mind.
18. Bolton Wanderers Last Week: 18
A lucky draw with Stoke, and a tough loss to Liverpool might mean that this team has more potential than we give it credit for. But, like West Ham, sometimes you have to show that. Like the last few teams, they have a tough schedule after this weekend's match with Birmingham, but to be fair, most teams at this point in the rankings would consider any game hard.
19. Hull City Last Week: 19
And now the two delinquents at the bottom. Hull sucks, simply put. And Phil Brown is an assclown. Jozy Altidore is unfortunately having some issues adjusting to the Premier League, but to be fair, his teammates suck and his coach, and his formations, substitutions and motivational techniques, suck. You know what this all adds up to? It's going to suck to be a Hull City fan.
20. Portsmouth Last Week: 20
The last team to lose 6 games out of the gate in the top flight of English football? 26 years ago in Leicester City. Amazingly they stayed up that year (but not for long). I don't see too much to get hopeful about on the South Coast, and they might challenge Derby County for the worst Premier League season ever. Congratulations Portsmouth, for sucking at unprecedented levels!
1. Chelsea Last Week: 1
And the vice grip on first remains! Chelsea is looking rather tough to top this year, and after dismantling Spurs, they are showing that most teams just aren't in their class. Two huge questions for Chelsea now though. How long is Drogba out? And who will score?
2. Manchester United Last Week: 2
Man United is looking rather frisky already this year. An absolutely thrilling derby win that might just put Michael Owen into...the heart of United fans? Who would ever have thought I would type that one day? Weird times. Well, the Mancs are blowing up, and I think I speak for the soccer-watching community in saying I'm waiting for their match with Chelsea with baited breath.
3. Manchester City Last Week: 3
Well, they really could have jumped to 1 with a big-time win, but, not everything can work out so splendidly for the Middle Eastlands. They're much better than anyone really predicted, and Sparky deserves boatloads of credit, especially considering how much shit was talked about him (myself included) and they were quite unlucky to lose that match to United. A great derby, it showed their on equal footing with United. Watch out, they could win this thing.
4. Arsenal Last Week: 5
Well, two tough losses to teams above them in the rankings shouldn't throw them down the list. Another comprehensive blowout of a lesser team shows that while Arsenal still has some figuring out to do when it comes to beating other top sides (this will be most worrying in the Champions League), nobody destroys lesser teams better right now. Comprehensive blowout of Wigan, and I'll be interested to see how they do at the Cottage this weekend.
5. Tottenham Hotspur Last Week: 4
Well, they just pulled an Arsenal. They lost twice in a row to better teams and are getting written off. I don't think they're contenders, and really, it'll be a miracle if they make the Top 4, but they're a strong side who is really punching above their weight right now. Let's hope they can keep it going, but as the season wears on, how will the Lilywhites hold up?
6. Aston Villa Last Week: 7
Look, they beat Portsmouth. Big deal, I know. But really, they haven't lost a Premier League match since their opening loss to Wigan. So, why exactly is everyone down on them? They beat Liverpool and have won everything that they should have. If they can grab another 3 points this weekend at Ewood Park, they'll have a lot at stake when City comes to visit, and if they can get points out of that match, maybe, JUST maybe, they can contend for the Top 4 again.
7. Liverpool Last Week: 6
Title contenders, eh? It's been a rough start to the season for Liverpool. Outside of comprehensive victories against Stoke City and Burnley, they've lost to Tottenham and Villa, and have needed thrilling last-minute finishes to beat West Ham and Bolton, not to mention they had a not-so-convincing Champions League win over some team from Hungary. If anyone is looking vulnerable in the Big Four, it's clearly the Reds, and unless Aquilani channels Zidane when he gets back, things aren't looking up anytime soon. Liverpool is looking like Tottenham of the Berbatov-Keane days. They have some world-class players, but too many average players and a lack of chemistry will prevent them from making the Champions League. Let's hope for my sanity that they turn things around.
8. Burnley Last Week: 13
OK, this part of the table is really hard. Why? Because normally, the way I go about these rankings is I check my table from last week, and see what changed. Normally this doesn't involve every team from 8-12 losing (or drawing with Bolton, which is basically a loss) so I had to go with Burnley, who beat Sunderland despite being significantly outplayed. If Sunderland had held on to win, they'd be 8th, but alas, no one remembers that game they outplayed and lost, and in the end, the points belong to Burnley. And how about David Nugent? Who knew he still had it in him? I think it would be great if he got back to scoring goals, the man has been through hell and back with supporters and it would be sweet vindication for him to hit 15 this season.
9. Sunderland Last Week: 9
One of the more unlucky 3-1 losses you'll see this year, so really, it would be harsh to drop them anywhere, especially considering they put in a great game at Turf Moor, which is quickly turning into Britannia Redux. Sunderland has a real quality side, and I think they can do some damage, but given the strength above them, there is just no way they'll make a European competition without winning a Cup.
10. Stoke City Last Week: 10
Look, I know Stoke is not a great traveling side, but really, only a point against Bolton? Poor form. To be fair, no one was expecting miracles, and they were rather unlucky to give away a penalty in the 89th, but those points are lost nonetheless. Stoke is a more consistent Burnley, in that they won't have wild fluctuations like the Clarets but they won't be beating top teams at home too often either. Well, they can prove that wrong this weekend if they can put a dent in United's title ambitions with an upset.
11. Fulham Last Week: 8
Another awful traveling team, but really, Wolves? A lackluster performance, and frankly, I'm sick of seeing teams that can be world-beaters at home just slump to disappointing loss after disappointing loss on the road. Fulham doesn't look like they'll be able to get back into Europe this season with the emergence of City and Spurs crowding them out, so they should really live it up while they're in it, because they won't be going back.
12. Everton Last Week: 14
They're crawling up the standings, and if they can get a nice little run going, they'll maybe make it back to the top half! They already have three losses on the campaign, so they'll need quite a run to really make any sort of attempt to get into Europe. However, unlike the teams I just said weren't good enough, Everton is good enough, and at this point have only one less loss than Tottenham. But no more joking around, results like today's need to become commonplace, and Everton needs to get back to business.
13. Wigan Athletic Last Week: 11
I know, I know. Birmingham and Wolves have one more point! Not really relevant, as Wigan is a better team than either. They just happened to play Arsenal at home this week, and got pummeled for it. Wigan now has Chelsea to contend with. So, they'll probably drop further in rankings next week, but I expect them to bounce back in the long run. It is always hard to get blown out though, and considering it'll happen this weekend too, I'm curious to see how Martinez can rally the troops.
14. Wolverhampton Wanderers Last Week: 17
A quality win over a disappointing Fulham, you still can't take away the fact that Wolves won just as much as Fulham lost. This year is going to be interesting in the Premier League, as you have tons of team who either seem roughly equal at either the top, the middle and the bottom, and considering we are about 6 or 7 deep in each area, that will make this year's relegation fight quite interesting. The points this weekend were huge, and any result at the Stadium of Light will be just another boost in the arm.
15. Birmingham City Last Week: 16
I mean, it's Hull but still a good win. As I've said before, Birmingham is frightfully boring, and I don't really enjoy writing about them. I don't know anything about them, and don't care to. Another 1-0 game, oh joy! And guess how they scored, wait I'll ruin it, header. YAWN.
16. West Ham United Last Week: 12
Seems like quite a big drop for a team that barely lost to Liverpool, but the situation warranted it. After all Bolton just did it too, how hard can it be? I know the excuses though, it wasn't a game they had to win, blah blah blah. But here's a scary thought: they don't have an easy game until Hull. When is that game you ask? That's 7 games away. They have 6 games they could legitimately lose and could be staring at 4 points after 11 matches. They have following matches upcoming (home games in CAPS): Manchester City, FULHAM, Stoke City, ARSENAL, Sunderland, EVERTON. So, their easiest game there is what? A trip to Britannia or Stadium of Light? Or a home match against Fulham or Everton. Needless to say, sometimes you need to win hard games.
17. Blackburn Rovers Last Week: 15
Really, only above Bolton because they seem feistier, and Bolton just seems to be a touch unlucky. Thoroughly dismantled by the corpse of Everton, which may actually be returning to life. A tough round of matches upcoming for Rovers as well, and they'll really have to capitalize on any chance they get. If that means Blackburn needs to park the bus everywhere they go, I'm sure Allardyce won't mind.
18. Bolton Wanderers Last Week: 18
A lucky draw with Stoke, and a tough loss to Liverpool might mean that this team has more potential than we give it credit for. But, like West Ham, sometimes you have to show that. Like the last few teams, they have a tough schedule after this weekend's match with Birmingham, but to be fair, most teams at this point in the rankings would consider any game hard.
19. Hull City Last Week: 19
And now the two delinquents at the bottom. Hull sucks, simply put. And Phil Brown is an assclown. Jozy Altidore is unfortunately having some issues adjusting to the Premier League, but to be fair, his teammates suck and his coach, and his formations, substitutions and motivational techniques, suck. You know what this all adds up to? It's going to suck to be a Hull City fan.
20. Portsmouth Last Week: 20
The last team to lose 6 games out of the gate in the top flight of English football? 26 years ago in Leicester City. Amazingly they stayed up that year (but not for long). I don't see too much to get hopeful about on the South Coast, and they might challenge Derby County for the worst Premier League season ever. Congratulations Portsmouth, for sucking at unprecedented levels!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Ron Weasley
http://www.tottenhamhotspur.com/spursxtra.html?utm_source=homepage&utm_medium=thfc-site&utm_campaign=spurs-xtra1. Visit that site.
2. Scroll down a little bit.
3. Observe the greatest ally that Spurs have (other than the Republic of Croatia).
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I have no problem with what Adebayor did (and why we need more of it)
Look, I'm not talking about the stamp on RVP. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but either way, that sucks and I don't endorse that. What do I endorse? This:
Nothing like that to get the juices flowing right? Look, I realize Arsenal fans were pissed off, and rightly so. But this is what sport is all about. It's about rivalries, tension and (moderate) hatred. I enjoy cheering against certain players as I enjoy cheering for my own. And when you add in the whole scorned-former-player angle? Fantastic! Just like taking your shirt off, this is something that should not warrant a card because it's something that should be an acknowledged aspect of the game. If you want to shower abuse on a former player, and he then scores the goal that downs your hopes? Be prepared for him to showboat. I'd want to, you'd want to, it's human. Nothing is sweeter that revenge, especially in football. As long as you aren't going West Ham-Millwall about it, what's the big deal? Do you watch soccer to watch players disinterestedly pass the ball around and then give a small smile and a wave when they score? The only point of sports is to watch physical art, and with it, the passion it incites. Without passion or feeling, there is no point to sport. So, let's give our players the same freedom. If they want to flip off the home crowd after they dagger them in the 90th, go for it. If they want to goad the defender they just destroyed to get towards the goal, sounds great. And if they want to run the length of the pitch to let their hate-filled former fans know how they really feel, well then soccer is all the better for it.
Nothing like that to get the juices flowing right? Look, I realize Arsenal fans were pissed off, and rightly so. But this is what sport is all about. It's about rivalries, tension and (moderate) hatred. I enjoy cheering against certain players as I enjoy cheering for my own. And when you add in the whole scorned-former-player angle? Fantastic! Just like taking your shirt off, this is something that should not warrant a card because it's something that should be an acknowledged aspect of the game. If you want to shower abuse on a former player, and he then scores the goal that downs your hopes? Be prepared for him to showboat. I'd want to, you'd want to, it's human. Nothing is sweeter that revenge, especially in football. As long as you aren't going West Ham-Millwall about it, what's the big deal? Do you watch soccer to watch players disinterestedly pass the ball around and then give a small smile and a wave when they score? The only point of sports is to watch physical art, and with it, the passion it incites. Without passion or feeling, there is no point to sport. So, let's give our players the same freedom. If they want to flip off the home crowd after they dagger them in the 90th, go for it. If they want to goad the defender they just destroyed to get towards the goal, sounds great. And if they want to run the length of the pitch to let their hate-filled former fans know how they really feel, well then soccer is all the better for it.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Power Rankings, September 13
Hey guys, there has been a bit of hiatus in the maintenance of the glorious Chads United, but it's really because all of us went back to school and are still getting used to having shit to do all day. But anyways, here are the power rankings as of September 13th.
1. Chelsea Last Time: 2
Look, I don't like Chelsea, and they are taking on the habits of another team I really don't like: Manchester United. What habit? The games where they play like garbage, don't take their chances, but get a last-gasp winner to take all the points. You know what teams like this normally do? Oh right, win titles.
2. Manchester United Last Time: 4
Well, it seems like they are doing just fine without Cristiano. Despite one aberration of a loss to Burnley, they've dismantled their two North London rivals and despite their penchant for slow starts, they have started the season in devastatingly good form. Rooney's goal this weekend (the third versus Tottenham) showed off his class, and maybe he is living up to the hype.
3. Manchester City Last Time: 5
Yes, it is rather odd that I've placed a 100% team that just beat a title contender rather thoroughly and only conceded their first goal of the season this weekend in third, but that just is the strength of Manchester United and Chelsea. Yes, a Burnley loss looks bad, and Chelsea haven't looked consistently convincing, but who would you rather play? City are looking much more in the title race than many pundits thought, and having passed their first test of the season rather triumphantly, the question is slowly becoming, who in the Big 4 will be left out?
4. Tottenham Hotspur Last Time: 3
Well, we all knew that Spurs wouldn't last that long at the top didn't we? Despite a rather convincing loss, Spurs shouldn't hang their heads just yet. They're still in great position, and already have one Big Four scalp in the campaign, and if they can take at least a point off of Chelsea, they'll have to be considered just as much in the hunt as any of these top teams. The biggest question for them right now is whether or not Jermain Defoe can keep up his scintillating start.
5. Arsenal Last Time: 1
Ah, the difference a few weeks makes. After dismantling Everton and Portsmouth, we were all ready to crown Arsenal weren't we? Well, the city of Manchester has been rather unkind to them in the last two rounds, and it'll be hard to forget how they were bossed, particularly against City. They are a young team that has lots of natural instability (tons of players moving in and out of starting lineup) and that generally is an advantage, but with two losses on the trot, including one particularly disheartening one this weekend, can they avoid a serious slump?
6. Liverpool Last Time: 6
Well, they have two convincing 4-0 wins over two teams that were promoted in the last two seasons, and that's about all there is to be happy about. A loss at White Hart Lane isn't horrible, but a loss at home to Villa is. Not only did that remove some invincibility factor to Anfield, it inadvertently strengthened a rival as Villa has totally righted the ship. I'm not getting excited over this past win because they followed up a similar destruction of Stoke with an uninspired loss to Villa (though it was a rather unlucky 3-1). A confident win at Upton Park could do wonders.
7. Aston Villa Last Time: 12
Well, Scoops ended his last update on Villa with "Pull yourselves together, Villa!" Well indeed they have. While many could have seen the victory at Anfield as merely a slipup by an inconsistent Liverpool team crumbling under expectations, Villa has grabbed hold of that momentum and beaten the team they finished a spot above last season as well as their local derby. The gulf between 6 and 7 is easily the biggest, and I really would be stunned to see anyone from the current top 6 drop out barring a monumental collapse, you know, not too unlike the one Villa had last year. If Villa can pick up 6 points before City come to town, and get a result then, I'll reevaluate, but until then, have fun in Europa.
8. Fulham Last Time: 10
Fulham has two losses and two wins, not exactly first half material, but what it really comes down to is the competition. They lost to two teams above them in the table and these Power Rankings, one away and one home to Chelsea, and they've won they should have. Fulham is very well-managed and have a quality side, but it'll be a dogfight to get back into the Europa League next season. The most worrying aspect of the Chelsea loss is the possibility that this team can no longer grind out draws against top-shelf clubs at the Cottage, and without that, they'll be back in the bottom half in no time.
9. Sunderland Last Time: 9
Sunderland is something of an enigma and I really don't know what to make of them. To be honest, they'll probably be a lot like Steve Bruce's Wigan: a team that wins when they should, and loses when they should. They lost at Stoke, and then dropped a game to Chelsea. Rather expected. They then let their quality doing the talking against Bolton, Blackburn and Hull. They'll be the best mediocre team in this league, no doubt about it.
10. Stoke City Last Time: 11
Stoke were dreadfully unlucky not to get a point against Chelsea, and outside of the loss at Anfield, that would be more good news for the club. They've remained the same scrappy, difficult-to-beat team with a terrifying home atmosphere, except in this year's more watered-down league, they've become even more formidable. I expect a lot of 1-0, 2-1, 2-0 wins to come out of the Britannia this season, and they'll keep grinding them out to another season up.
11. Wigan Athletic Last Time: 14
It's surprising how bad I consider these teams now that we're in the bottom half. Hopefully in a month the league with have more form, but right now saying that Wigan is on the cusp of being a top-half team seems deranged, but really, who else? They've lost to Wolves, got throttled by Manchester United and are the only team Everton has gotten points from, but despite that, they've beaten Villa, and most importantly, just got a home win over the 12th ranked team, meaning that I am obliged to place Wigan above them. Who is that team you ask?
12. West Ham United Last Time: 7
Well, they SHOULD be better, but they aren't. They really are only in this position because of their talent level, and despite this talent, they've only picked up 4 points. Don't get riled up on me because Burnley has two wins and what not, I'll get to them soon enough. West Ham have been quite good defensively, they are just (unsurprisingly) finding out that Carleton Cole isn't the answer at striker. Actually none of their strikers are the answer. They need goals, and if they don't get them, they better pray they get a lot of 0-0 draws because having to keep clean sheets week in and week out will definitely wear down this defense.
13. Burnley Last Time: 8
It's hard to take a silver lining from losing 7-0 over two weekends, but it WAS at Stamford Bridge and Anfield, and did any of us predict anything different to start this season? No, not at all. Does it mean they're screwed? No, it just means they were able to successfully park the bus against the Red Devils and the Toffees at home, but will probably be lucky to Stoke anyone else this season. They've proven scrappy and look to have a great chance at staying up, and really, that's all they should shoot for. No Europa, no top-table, none of that. Just stay up. And they can.
14. Everton Last Time: 13
We've now reached a group I'd like to call the "Shit-Tastic Seven." You could probably throw West Ham in here too, but they have shown some signs of life. All in all, the following seven teams all fucking suck. Sorry for the profanity, but it needs to be said. So who is the leader of this inept group? Well, the team that should be battling with the Big 6 right now. The team with great talent and team spirit that FINALLY is healthy, and then promptly sucks. They've lost to Burnley and Fulham, got slaughtered by Arsenal and got a win against Wigan. They should be on at least 7 points, they're on 3. I didn't anticipate the Jolean Lescott thing screwing up their precious chemistry so bad, but guess what, I think it did. Bad days for the Toffees.
15. Blackburn Rovers Last Time: 19
So Blackburn is on quite a roll, they're last two games have been a draw and a MULTI-GOAL WIN! Amazing times right now down at Ewood Park. This team is pretty dreadful, but they get the nod purely because of their last two games, where getting 4 out of 6 points is rather respectable most places in the table, and particularly at this one.
16. Birmingham City Last Time: 17
This may be the single most boring team to ever grace the Premier League. The scores of their games thusfar? 1-0, 1-0, 0-0, 2-1, 1-0. 2-1! What a barn-burner! This team can't even lose emphatically, and really, the Birmingham-Stoke 0-0 draw must have led several onlookers to gouge their own eyes out. Almost fascinatingly boring, but not, so instead, just dreadfully so.
17. Wolverhampton Wanderers Last Time: 15
Wolves on the other hand are a harder team to figure out. They have some great games (giving their all at City, beating Wigan) and then their awful ones (getting destroyed by BLACKBURN). Probably the one team in the premier league I have the worst handle on, and that's definitely aided by the fact that I didn't watch the Championship at all last year. Seeing as I can't say anything with any sort of conviction, I'm just going to move on.
18. Bolton Wanderers Last Time: 18
Well, they've gotten significantly better since their loss to Hull (something like that makes you pay attention) and were unlucky to not get a point with Liverpool and then had a way-too-close win against Portsmouth. They're not a quality side, and staying up will be difficult, but for some reason I like Bolton. I don't know why.
19. Hull City Last Time: 16
Ah Hull, what a wild ride you always provide. A surprisingly talented squad, and already have a win and a draw! I would have placed them over Bolton, considering they beat Bolton, but they've also been destroyed twice this season. They were scrappy against Chelsea, and if they can be Good Hull just enough times this season, we might get another season of Orange-Glo Phil.
20. Portsmouth Last Time: 20
At least they have an owner.
1. Chelsea Last Time: 2
Look, I don't like Chelsea, and they are taking on the habits of another team I really don't like: Manchester United. What habit? The games where they play like garbage, don't take their chances, but get a last-gasp winner to take all the points. You know what teams like this normally do? Oh right, win titles.
2. Manchester United Last Time: 4
Well, it seems like they are doing just fine without Cristiano. Despite one aberration of a loss to Burnley, they've dismantled their two North London rivals and despite their penchant for slow starts, they have started the season in devastatingly good form. Rooney's goal this weekend (the third versus Tottenham) showed off his class, and maybe he is living up to the hype.
3. Manchester City Last Time: 5
Yes, it is rather odd that I've placed a 100% team that just beat a title contender rather thoroughly and only conceded their first goal of the season this weekend in third, but that just is the strength of Manchester United and Chelsea. Yes, a Burnley loss looks bad, and Chelsea haven't looked consistently convincing, but who would you rather play? City are looking much more in the title race than many pundits thought, and having passed their first test of the season rather triumphantly, the question is slowly becoming, who in the Big 4 will be left out?
4. Tottenham Hotspur Last Time: 3
Well, we all knew that Spurs wouldn't last that long at the top didn't we? Despite a rather convincing loss, Spurs shouldn't hang their heads just yet. They're still in great position, and already have one Big Four scalp in the campaign, and if they can take at least a point off of Chelsea, they'll have to be considered just as much in the hunt as any of these top teams. The biggest question for them right now is whether or not Jermain Defoe can keep up his scintillating start.
5. Arsenal Last Time: 1
Ah, the difference a few weeks makes. After dismantling Everton and Portsmouth, we were all ready to crown Arsenal weren't we? Well, the city of Manchester has been rather unkind to them in the last two rounds, and it'll be hard to forget how they were bossed, particularly against City. They are a young team that has lots of natural instability (tons of players moving in and out of starting lineup) and that generally is an advantage, but with two losses on the trot, including one particularly disheartening one this weekend, can they avoid a serious slump?
6. Liverpool Last Time: 6
Well, they have two convincing 4-0 wins over two teams that were promoted in the last two seasons, and that's about all there is to be happy about. A loss at White Hart Lane isn't horrible, but a loss at home to Villa is. Not only did that remove some invincibility factor to Anfield, it inadvertently strengthened a rival as Villa has totally righted the ship. I'm not getting excited over this past win because they followed up a similar destruction of Stoke with an uninspired loss to Villa (though it was a rather unlucky 3-1). A confident win at Upton Park could do wonders.
7. Aston Villa Last Time: 12
Well, Scoops ended his last update on Villa with "Pull yourselves together, Villa!" Well indeed they have. While many could have seen the victory at Anfield as merely a slipup by an inconsistent Liverpool team crumbling under expectations, Villa has grabbed hold of that momentum and beaten the team they finished a spot above last season as well as their local derby. The gulf between 6 and 7 is easily the biggest, and I really would be stunned to see anyone from the current top 6 drop out barring a monumental collapse, you know, not too unlike the one Villa had last year. If Villa can pick up 6 points before City come to town, and get a result then, I'll reevaluate, but until then, have fun in Europa.
8. Fulham Last Time: 10
Fulham has two losses and two wins, not exactly first half material, but what it really comes down to is the competition. They lost to two teams above them in the table and these Power Rankings, one away and one home to Chelsea, and they've won they should have. Fulham is very well-managed and have a quality side, but it'll be a dogfight to get back into the Europa League next season. The most worrying aspect of the Chelsea loss is the possibility that this team can no longer grind out draws against top-shelf clubs at the Cottage, and without that, they'll be back in the bottom half in no time.
9. Sunderland Last Time: 9
Sunderland is something of an enigma and I really don't know what to make of them. To be honest, they'll probably be a lot like Steve Bruce's Wigan: a team that wins when they should, and loses when they should. They lost at Stoke, and then dropped a game to Chelsea. Rather expected. They then let their quality doing the talking against Bolton, Blackburn and Hull. They'll be the best mediocre team in this league, no doubt about it.
10. Stoke City Last Time: 11
Stoke were dreadfully unlucky not to get a point against Chelsea, and outside of the loss at Anfield, that would be more good news for the club. They've remained the same scrappy, difficult-to-beat team with a terrifying home atmosphere, except in this year's more watered-down league, they've become even more formidable. I expect a lot of 1-0, 2-1, 2-0 wins to come out of the Britannia this season, and they'll keep grinding them out to another season up.
11. Wigan Athletic Last Time: 14
It's surprising how bad I consider these teams now that we're in the bottom half. Hopefully in a month the league with have more form, but right now saying that Wigan is on the cusp of being a top-half team seems deranged, but really, who else? They've lost to Wolves, got throttled by Manchester United and are the only team Everton has gotten points from, but despite that, they've beaten Villa, and most importantly, just got a home win over the 12th ranked team, meaning that I am obliged to place Wigan above them. Who is that team you ask?
12. West Ham United Last Time: 7
Well, they SHOULD be better, but they aren't. They really are only in this position because of their talent level, and despite this talent, they've only picked up 4 points. Don't get riled up on me because Burnley has two wins and what not, I'll get to them soon enough. West Ham have been quite good defensively, they are just (unsurprisingly) finding out that Carleton Cole isn't the answer at striker. Actually none of their strikers are the answer. They need goals, and if they don't get them, they better pray they get a lot of 0-0 draws because having to keep clean sheets week in and week out will definitely wear down this defense.
13. Burnley Last Time: 8
It's hard to take a silver lining from losing 7-0 over two weekends, but it WAS at Stamford Bridge and Anfield, and did any of us predict anything different to start this season? No, not at all. Does it mean they're screwed? No, it just means they were able to successfully park the bus against the Red Devils and the Toffees at home, but will probably be lucky to Stoke anyone else this season. They've proven scrappy and look to have a great chance at staying up, and really, that's all they should shoot for. No Europa, no top-table, none of that. Just stay up. And they can.
14. Everton Last Time: 13
We've now reached a group I'd like to call the "Shit-Tastic Seven." You could probably throw West Ham in here too, but they have shown some signs of life. All in all, the following seven teams all fucking suck. Sorry for the profanity, but it needs to be said. So who is the leader of this inept group? Well, the team that should be battling with the Big 6 right now. The team with great talent and team spirit that FINALLY is healthy, and then promptly sucks. They've lost to Burnley and Fulham, got slaughtered by Arsenal and got a win against Wigan. They should be on at least 7 points, they're on 3. I didn't anticipate the Jolean Lescott thing screwing up their precious chemistry so bad, but guess what, I think it did. Bad days for the Toffees.
15. Blackburn Rovers Last Time: 19
So Blackburn is on quite a roll, they're last two games have been a draw and a MULTI-GOAL WIN! Amazing times right now down at Ewood Park. This team is pretty dreadful, but they get the nod purely because of their last two games, where getting 4 out of 6 points is rather respectable most places in the table, and particularly at this one.
16. Birmingham City Last Time: 17
This may be the single most boring team to ever grace the Premier League. The scores of their games thusfar? 1-0, 1-0, 0-0, 2-1, 1-0. 2-1! What a barn-burner! This team can't even lose emphatically, and really, the Birmingham-Stoke 0-0 draw must have led several onlookers to gouge their own eyes out. Almost fascinatingly boring, but not, so instead, just dreadfully so.
17. Wolverhampton Wanderers Last Time: 15
Wolves on the other hand are a harder team to figure out. They have some great games (giving their all at City, beating Wigan) and then their awful ones (getting destroyed by BLACKBURN). Probably the one team in the premier league I have the worst handle on, and that's definitely aided by the fact that I didn't watch the Championship at all last year. Seeing as I can't say anything with any sort of conviction, I'm just going to move on.
18. Bolton Wanderers Last Time: 18
Well, they've gotten significantly better since their loss to Hull (something like that makes you pay attention) and were unlucky to not get a point with Liverpool and then had a way-too-close win against Portsmouth. They're not a quality side, and staying up will be difficult, but for some reason I like Bolton. I don't know why.
19. Hull City Last Time: 16
Ah Hull, what a wild ride you always provide. A surprisingly talented squad, and already have a win and a draw! I would have placed them over Bolton, considering they beat Bolton, but they've also been destroyed twice this season. They were scrappy against Chelsea, and if they can be Good Hull just enough times this season, we might get another season of Orange-Glo Phil.
20. Portsmouth Last Time: 20
At least they have an owner.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Power Rankings: Week 2
Well, more or less this is week 2. The way the fixtures are, it's rare that there ever will be a time in the season when all teams have played the same number of games. So forgive me if these rankings come in sporadic fashion. In this week we saw Tottenham once again win on the road (and in a derby match to boot), Manchester United and Everton stumbled at the hands (or feet) of Burnley, while Liverpool have cast further doubt on their Champions League ambitions for next season.
1. Arsenal (Last week: 1)- Womping on Pompey 4-1 is nothing we didn't all see coming for the Gunners at this stage in the season. The real litmus test for this Arsenal squad will be how they do in this type of game (vs weaker opponents) down the home stretch in February and March. But until they screw up, they've got the #1 spot.
2. Chelsea (Last week: 2)- Wins over Sunderland and Fulham keep the Blues right where they ought to be in the table (BENEATH SPURS!!!). There's really not much to say, I think everyone except the WSD guys (and look where they ended up...) had the Blues winning these two games. Great, call me when a meaningful game comes along (9/20 vs Tottenham). Seriously, call me, I don't want to miss that game.
3. Tottenham Hotspur (Last week:5)- Top of the league... I mean how often do I get to say that as a Spurs fan? Winning at Hull 5-1 midweek may not be as significant as the sloppy 2-1 away win over West Ham, but it holds a little water in my book, and was certainly more impressive to watch. JD has been running rampant (leading the Premiership in scoring), Modric is a wizard (literally, he performs sorcery on the pitch), and the back four has held it together in the midst of what is supposedly a defensive crisis. Things are looking good for the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.
4. Manchester United (Last week:3)- After stuttering to a 1-0 defeat at Turf Moor, United bounced back (as United do) by dismantling Wigan 5-0. Having watched the match I can confidently say that the scoreline wasn't necessarily deserved, as I was again impressed by Wigan's play, but the Mancs are obviously of an entirely different class than 75% of the league.
5.Manchester City (Last week:6)- 1-0 win over Wolves, while not exactly a confirmation of City's legitimacy, at least was a hardfought victory vs able opponents. City still have a lot to prove, but their potential has them rising up the rankings.
6. Liverpool (Last week:4)- The Pool looked to have righted the ship with a 4-0 thrashing of Stoke, only to let Villa walk away from Anfield with three points a few days later. Liverpool are a team who I thought had legitimate title ambitions, but it is looking more and more possible (even likely) that they will finish outside the top 4. You can make a convincing argument that both City and Tottenham have deeper squads than Liverpool, and though their starting XI's may not fully compare, over the course of a season the depth could win out, leaving the Reds to battle for the Europa League crown in 2010-11.
7.West Ham (Last week:10)- The Hammers looked halfway decent against Spurs (even through their loss) at the weekend; Carlton Cole's goal was absolutely nasty (though his throughball was equally as memorable for all the wrong reasons), and Scott Parker looks good enough to have "transfer request" written all over him when Liverpool come knocking in the near future (you heard it here first!).
8. Burnley (Last week:20)- Wow. When I said they had something to prove before I moved them off the bottom... I didn't think they'd actually do it! 1-0 victories over Man United and Everton have the current play-off champions sitting pretty in 7th place in the table. I sincerely hope they can keep this form up and avoid doing a Hull.
9. Sunderland (last week:16)- A loss to Chelsea was forseeable, as most likely was a victory against Blackburn. That doesn't change the fact that Steve Bruce is building a decent team of Spurs rejects up at the Stadium of Light, which just may push for Europe (no matter how much it pains me) if things keep going their way.
10. Fulham (Last week:7)- Losing to Chelsea is not anything new for Craven Cottage's heroes. They still have one of the hardest fighting teams in the league, something that will always keep them in the mix for a top table finish (unless things really go south).
11. Stoke City (Last week: 10)- A loss to Liverpool and a draw at scrappy Birmingham says that Stoke isn't going very far in the rankings. They aren't going to surprise us with any kind of miracles this season (although they did just sign Tuncay), just your standard Stoke City football- and they'll stay up doing it.
12. Aston Villa (last week:9)- Villa may be this year what Tottenham are every year: highly talented, but wildly inconsistent. Victory over the red side of Mersyside was an incredible high for the Villans, however they went ahead and got knocked out of Europe by an Austrian team. I don't care if they won the Austrian Bundesliga or not (and no I will not look that up), they are from AUSTRIA. Pull yourselves together, Villa!
13. Everton (last week: 8)- Losing to Burnley keeps the Toffees rooted to the bottom of the table. They're going to have to hope that Distin and that Russian dude can make some magic happen, and they really need Arteta back to create something in the final third.
14. Wigan (Last week:11)- Well, they actually looked a lot more impressive against United than the scoreline of 5-0 gives them credit for. But losing 1-0 at home to a promoted side (albeit a decent one...) sees the Latics slide a bit this week.
15. Wolves (Last week: 13)- They beat Wigan without Kevin Doyle... imagine what they'll be capable of when he makes his debut!
16. Hull City (Last week:19)- Well, they won a game. Jozy Altidore sets up the winner, the momentum gathers, Hull stays up against the odds and the good times roll!
17. Birmingham (last week: 15)- Beating Portsmouth is honestly nothing to be proud of (at 1-0 nonetheless). They'll be in for the dogfight.
18. Bolton (Last week:17)- I'm losing faith in Bolton. They've been steadily slipping ever since I started following football. This could be the year they finally bite it.
19. Blackburn (Last week: 14)- Same exact story as Bolton.
20. Portsmouth (Last week:18)- 0 points from three games, and it gets worse: they just sold Silvain Distin. So long, Pompey!
1. Arsenal (Last week: 1)- Womping on Pompey 4-1 is nothing we didn't all see coming for the Gunners at this stage in the season. The real litmus test for this Arsenal squad will be how they do in this type of game (vs weaker opponents) down the home stretch in February and March. But until they screw up, they've got the #1 spot.
2. Chelsea (Last week: 2)- Wins over Sunderland and Fulham keep the Blues right where they ought to be in the table (BENEATH SPURS!!!). There's really not much to say, I think everyone except the WSD guys (and look where they ended up...) had the Blues winning these two games. Great, call me when a meaningful game comes along (9/20 vs Tottenham). Seriously, call me, I don't want to miss that game.
3. Tottenham Hotspur (Last week:5)- Top of the league... I mean how often do I get to say that as a Spurs fan? Winning at Hull 5-1 midweek may not be as significant as the sloppy 2-1 away win over West Ham, but it holds a little water in my book, and was certainly more impressive to watch. JD has been running rampant (leading the Premiership in scoring), Modric is a wizard (literally, he performs sorcery on the pitch), and the back four has held it together in the midst of what is supposedly a defensive crisis. Things are looking good for the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.
4. Manchester United (Last week:3)- After stuttering to a 1-0 defeat at Turf Moor, United bounced back (as United do) by dismantling Wigan 5-0. Having watched the match I can confidently say that the scoreline wasn't necessarily deserved, as I was again impressed by Wigan's play, but the Mancs are obviously of an entirely different class than 75% of the league.
5.Manchester City (Last week:6)- 1-0 win over Wolves, while not exactly a confirmation of City's legitimacy, at least was a hardfought victory vs able opponents. City still have a lot to prove, but their potential has them rising up the rankings.
6. Liverpool (Last week:4)- The Pool looked to have righted the ship with a 4-0 thrashing of Stoke, only to let Villa walk away from Anfield with three points a few days later. Liverpool are a team who I thought had legitimate title ambitions, but it is looking more and more possible (even likely) that they will finish outside the top 4. You can make a convincing argument that both City and Tottenham have deeper squads than Liverpool, and though their starting XI's may not fully compare, over the course of a season the depth could win out, leaving the Reds to battle for the Europa League crown in 2010-11.
7.West Ham (Last week:10)- The Hammers looked halfway decent against Spurs (even through their loss) at the weekend; Carlton Cole's goal was absolutely nasty (though his throughball was equally as memorable for all the wrong reasons), and Scott Parker looks good enough to have "transfer request" written all over him when Liverpool come knocking in the near future (you heard it here first!).
8. Burnley (Last week:20)- Wow. When I said they had something to prove before I moved them off the bottom... I didn't think they'd actually do it! 1-0 victories over Man United and Everton have the current play-off champions sitting pretty in 7th place in the table. I sincerely hope they can keep this form up and avoid doing a Hull.
9. Sunderland (last week:16)- A loss to Chelsea was forseeable, as most likely was a victory against Blackburn. That doesn't change the fact that Steve Bruce is building a decent team of Spurs rejects up at the Stadium of Light, which just may push for Europe (no matter how much it pains me) if things keep going their way.
10. Fulham (Last week:7)- Losing to Chelsea is not anything new for Craven Cottage's heroes. They still have one of the hardest fighting teams in the league, something that will always keep them in the mix for a top table finish (unless things really go south).
11. Stoke City (Last week: 10)- A loss to Liverpool and a draw at scrappy Birmingham says that Stoke isn't going very far in the rankings. They aren't going to surprise us with any kind of miracles this season (although they did just sign Tuncay), just your standard Stoke City football- and they'll stay up doing it.
12. Aston Villa (last week:9)- Villa may be this year what Tottenham are every year: highly talented, but wildly inconsistent. Victory over the red side of Mersyside was an incredible high for the Villans, however they went ahead and got knocked out of Europe by an Austrian team. I don't care if they won the Austrian Bundesliga or not (and no I will not look that up), they are from AUSTRIA. Pull yourselves together, Villa!
13. Everton (last week: 8)- Losing to Burnley keeps the Toffees rooted to the bottom of the table. They're going to have to hope that Distin and that Russian dude can make some magic happen, and they really need Arteta back to create something in the final third.
14. Wigan (Last week:11)- Well, they actually looked a lot more impressive against United than the scoreline of 5-0 gives them credit for. But losing 1-0 at home to a promoted side (albeit a decent one...) sees the Latics slide a bit this week.
15. Wolves (Last week: 13)- They beat Wigan without Kevin Doyle... imagine what they'll be capable of when he makes his debut!
16. Hull City (Last week:19)- Well, they won a game. Jozy Altidore sets up the winner, the momentum gathers, Hull stays up against the odds and the good times roll!
17. Birmingham (last week: 15)- Beating Portsmouth is honestly nothing to be proud of (at 1-0 nonetheless). They'll be in for the dogfight.
18. Bolton (Last week:17)- I'm losing faith in Bolton. They've been steadily slipping ever since I started following football. This could be the year they finally bite it.
19. Blackburn (Last week: 14)- Same exact story as Bolton.
20. Portsmouth (Last week:18)- 0 points from three games, and it gets worse: they just sold Silvain Distin. So long, Pompey!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Bill Simmons's Curious Foray Into Soccer
As I addressed in my Steve Slaton post, I'm a sports nut, and by effect, I read a lot of good and a lot of awful sportswriters. One I've always enjoyed is Bill Simmons, though me being a Boston-based basketball fanatic probably gives him too much of a homefield advantage. One thing about soccer is that there really aren't many good sportswriters (though I guess the same could be said for American sports) and sportswriting in Europe doesn't ever really seem to leave the analytical side of it. The most in-depth "op-ed" you'll get is someone wondering if Aquilani's Fascist political views will clash with Jamie Carragher's socialist leanings. ( That's dead serious by the way )
So, when Simmons did a special on choosing an EPL team after the 2006 World Cup, it was an immensely enjoyable read for a few reasons. I generally like his articles, and the writing style remained the same. But also, it is really interesting to see how someone who (let's be honest here) doesn't know anything about the league or sport breaks it down in the beginning. For the most part, his research proved to be pretty on-target(granted only 14 of the original teams remain, but that's relegation for you) and nothing has really changed since then. Since he wrote that article, Manchester United has won 3 straight titles, and I guess the only teams that suffered serious dips in form after the article were probably Arsenal, Tottenham and Newcastle. Arsenal he really trumps up, though I'm not sure why he sees the Bandwagon potential as so high. The bandwagoning ALL comes from the style of play, the same way Barcelona gets tons of bandwagon-jumpers every year. His paragraph on why he didn't choose Man U should be required reading for all non-Manchester-based United fans:
"Estimated number of "I don't care who you pick, just don't pick Manchester United" e-mails: At least 700-750. By all accounts, they're the New York Yankees of the EPL -- they outspend everyone else, everyone hates them, and even their own fans don't enjoy rooting for them that much. Financially, they blow almost everyone out of the water and purchase as many up-and-coming young stars as possible; they're almost like a European All-Star team. That's no fun. (Although I will say that I love Rooney's work and wish he was on another team -- he reminds me of a drunken Derrick on "Fresh Meat."). Anyway, can you imagine knowing a foreigner in their mid-30s who was looking for a baseball team and announced, "I'm going with the Yankees!" Wouldn't you hate that person? I don't want to be that guy."
Brilliant, if only he knew the depth of the bandwagoning. It doesn't fully apply to Americans, because Americans don't think the same way about club sports, but there's two huge reasons why people love Man U, one legitimate and one not. The illegitimate and obvious one is that they win all the time, and by being good, they're fun to watch. That's bullshit. But the other, far more excusable one, is that for most countries, they produce only a handful of top-soccer stars during a fan's lifetime, and those players become gods in those countries. Andriy Shevchenko was called BY THE PRESIDENT OF UKRAINE, "Ukraine's greatest export." Nothing like faith in your economy, eh? But anyways, Manchester United always seems to get those singular stars from a nation (or all of them in Ireland's case, which is why 99% of all Irishmen are Mancs) and those countries cheer for United to cheer on the player or the memory of a player who defined their place in football. (Who else would Korea, Bulgaria, Serbia, Portugal (until this year) or Denmark root for, to name a few).
Anyways, despite relegations and the rise of Aston Villa and Manchester City, it's still a great read, and worth the time if you have it.
Now, I was pretty sure Simmons forgot about soccer. I wasn't insulted; it was to be expected to a degree. I mean, as I also mentioned in the Steve Slaton entry, you only have so much time in the day to dedicate to sports. So when Scoops told me to check out World Soccer Daily because Simmons and Jozy were on it, I was intrigued. First off, I really hope he doesn't view Cohen as the embodiment of the American soccersphere (or some other lameass term involving "sphere"), and not because of the LFCNY debacle, but just because he's a pompous douche bag. I appreciate that he has really dedicated his career in a way to promoting soccer in the US, but come on, he needs to chill once in a while. Regardless, Simmons pledged to start following soccer again, that he was getting back into it. Ok, ok. I've heard that. Then this gets posted.
Yet again, it's a very enjoyable read, despite a few shortcomings. I think he might be the only person left under the impression that Mexico has a categorically better soccer team than we do, and the fact that they haven't beat our A team on a non-Azteca site in about a decade is proof to that. Our record there is abysmal, but we only play there every four years, so even if you go back 8 years, our team was a joke, especially compared to today. So that really accounts for 3 losses, which if you make it about the time since we've been relevant, they've been equally bad in the US. The only team to ever beat Mexico in Azteca was a plucky Costa Rica side 8 years ago, and other than that one time, NO ONE, not Brazil, not the US, NO ONE has won there. A draw would have been brilliant, but you can't get everything. Despite that rant, yes Mexico did outplay us, but the homefield advantage would be like if Pittsburgh had Heinz Field in Denver, but transported LA's smog, and removed all laws when it came to conduct towards opposing fans. And this is in a sport where homefield is HUGE. So, while we did lose, and probably have given Mexico enough to qualify now, it is in no way a sign that Mexico is gaining on us (though Dos Santos and Vela are far more promosing than any of our U23s). Furthermore, it was only a brief mention, but I'm not sure which Tottenham-Liverpool game on file he was watching, but that was not Stevie G's greatest performance. Granted, him on a bad day is still better than most, and possibly he was just making a point knowing that no one would really refute him over here, but come on Bill, he wasn't "so ridiculously, dominantly good." He can be, and frequently is, but this past Saturday, not so much.
So, what does this all mean? I'm not sure. Simmons might start writing somewhat regularly about soccer, but I'm not sure how his editors will feel about that, especially from about two weeks from now until the Superbowl. He'll have baseball pennant race/playoffs and NFL until mid-October, and then suddenly has NBA, NFL and NHL (which is rare in his coverage). After the Superbowl, with soccer heating up, he probably will get a few articles passed as basketball and hockey playoffs will be the only competition. This is under the assumption that his editors have at least sizeable control over what he writes about; I'm talking out of my ass. And who knows? Maybe he can write shit articles about obscure sport happenings and be praised for it. (See Reilly, Rick) ESPN is getting really into soccer, as it is really the only market it doesn't dominate at this point, and so they'll probably be cool with some soccer dabblings of Simmons. It's great for the sport, and great for coverage in America, as he is arguably the most popular sportswriter we have. Will it change soccer in America? Absolutely not. Though if one thing does, he hit the nail on the head in his article: Jozy Altidore will be that change. If Jozy, or anyone like him, becomes an American transcendant star in soccer, that will be the catalyst to major change, and it's pretty obvious why. Regardless, here's to the increased exposure, and hopefully Simmons can get the ratings to spike high enough that I don't have to pay more for cable to watch good soccer.
So, when Simmons did a special on choosing an EPL team after the 2006 World Cup, it was an immensely enjoyable read for a few reasons. I generally like his articles, and the writing style remained the same. But also, it is really interesting to see how someone who (let's be honest here) doesn't know anything about the league or sport breaks it down in the beginning. For the most part, his research proved to be pretty on-target(granted only 14 of the original teams remain, but that's relegation for you) and nothing has really changed since then. Since he wrote that article, Manchester United has won 3 straight titles, and I guess the only teams that suffered serious dips in form after the article were probably Arsenal, Tottenham and Newcastle. Arsenal he really trumps up, though I'm not sure why he sees the Bandwagon potential as so high. The bandwagoning ALL comes from the style of play, the same way Barcelona gets tons of bandwagon-jumpers every year. His paragraph on why he didn't choose Man U should be required reading for all non-Manchester-based United fans:
"Estimated number of "I don't care who you pick, just don't pick Manchester United" e-mails: At least 700-750. By all accounts, they're the New York Yankees of the EPL -- they outspend everyone else, everyone hates them, and even their own fans don't enjoy rooting for them that much. Financially, they blow almost everyone out of the water and purchase as many up-and-coming young stars as possible; they're almost like a European All-Star team. That's no fun. (Although I will say that I love Rooney's work and wish he was on another team -- he reminds me of a drunken Derrick on "Fresh Meat."). Anyway, can you imagine knowing a foreigner in their mid-30s who was looking for a baseball team and announced, "I'm going with the Yankees!" Wouldn't you hate that person? I don't want to be that guy."
Brilliant, if only he knew the depth of the bandwagoning. It doesn't fully apply to Americans, because Americans don't think the same way about club sports, but there's two huge reasons why people love Man U, one legitimate and one not. The illegitimate and obvious one is that they win all the time, and by being good, they're fun to watch. That's bullshit. But the other, far more excusable one, is that for most countries, they produce only a handful of top-soccer stars during a fan's lifetime, and those players become gods in those countries. Andriy Shevchenko was called BY THE PRESIDENT OF UKRAINE, "Ukraine's greatest export." Nothing like faith in your economy, eh? But anyways, Manchester United always seems to get those singular stars from a nation (or all of them in Ireland's case, which is why 99% of all Irishmen are Mancs) and those countries cheer for United to cheer on the player or the memory of a player who defined their place in football. (Who else would Korea, Bulgaria, Serbia, Portugal (until this year) or Denmark root for, to name a few).
Anyways, despite relegations and the rise of Aston Villa and Manchester City, it's still a great read, and worth the time if you have it.
Now, I was pretty sure Simmons forgot about soccer. I wasn't insulted; it was to be expected to a degree. I mean, as I also mentioned in the Steve Slaton entry, you only have so much time in the day to dedicate to sports. So when Scoops told me to check out World Soccer Daily because Simmons and Jozy were on it, I was intrigued. First off, I really hope he doesn't view Cohen as the embodiment of the American soccersphere (or some other lameass term involving "sphere"), and not because of the LFCNY debacle, but just because he's a pompous douche bag. I appreciate that he has really dedicated his career in a way to promoting soccer in the US, but come on, he needs to chill once in a while. Regardless, Simmons pledged to start following soccer again, that he was getting back into it. Ok, ok. I've heard that. Then this gets posted.
Yet again, it's a very enjoyable read, despite a few shortcomings. I think he might be the only person left under the impression that Mexico has a categorically better soccer team than we do, and the fact that they haven't beat our A team on a non-Azteca site in about a decade is proof to that. Our record there is abysmal, but we only play there every four years, so even if you go back 8 years, our team was a joke, especially compared to today. So that really accounts for 3 losses, which if you make it about the time since we've been relevant, they've been equally bad in the US. The only team to ever beat Mexico in Azteca was a plucky Costa Rica side 8 years ago, and other than that one time, NO ONE, not Brazil, not the US, NO ONE has won there. A draw would have been brilliant, but you can't get everything. Despite that rant, yes Mexico did outplay us, but the homefield advantage would be like if Pittsburgh had Heinz Field in Denver, but transported LA's smog, and removed all laws when it came to conduct towards opposing fans. And this is in a sport where homefield is HUGE. So, while we did lose, and probably have given Mexico enough to qualify now, it is in no way a sign that Mexico is gaining on us (though Dos Santos and Vela are far more promosing than any of our U23s). Furthermore, it was only a brief mention, but I'm not sure which Tottenham-Liverpool game on file he was watching, but that was not Stevie G's greatest performance. Granted, him on a bad day is still better than most, and possibly he was just making a point knowing that no one would really refute him over here, but come on Bill, he wasn't "so ridiculously, dominantly good." He can be, and frequently is, but this past Saturday, not so much.
So, what does this all mean? I'm not sure. Simmons might start writing somewhat regularly about soccer, but I'm not sure how his editors will feel about that, especially from about two weeks from now until the Superbowl. He'll have baseball pennant race/playoffs and NFL until mid-October, and then suddenly has NBA, NFL and NHL (which is rare in his coverage). After the Superbowl, with soccer heating up, he probably will get a few articles passed as basketball and hockey playoffs will be the only competition. This is under the assumption that his editors have at least sizeable control over what he writes about; I'm talking out of my ass. And who knows? Maybe he can write shit articles about obscure sport happenings and be praised for it. (See Reilly, Rick) ESPN is getting really into soccer, as it is really the only market it doesn't dominate at this point, and so they'll probably be cool with some soccer dabblings of Simmons. It's great for the sport, and great for coverage in America, as he is arguably the most popular sportswriter we have. Will it change soccer in America? Absolutely not. Though if one thing does, he hit the nail on the head in his article: Jozy Altidore will be that change. If Jozy, or anyone like him, becomes an American transcendant star in soccer, that will be the catalyst to major change, and it's pretty obvious why. Regardless, here's to the increased exposure, and hopefully Simmons can get the ratings to spike high enough that I don't have to pay more for cable to watch good soccer.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Power Rankings: Week 1
The first weekend of Premiership action is gone, taking along with it something I have never witnessed before: a full weekend of ten Premiership games without a single draw. I don't know how rare of a phenomenon this is, but I can't ever remember it happening in the three seasons previous to this one. Other than that little statistic there was not much anomaly to be had at the weekend; Spurs over Liverpool was certainly something of an upset, and Arsenal's absolute destruction of Everton was definitely not predicted, but on the whole the expected teams won out.
Now, onto the rankings:
1. Arsenal (Last week: 4)- Wow, what a start. I knew Arsenal were a shade stronger of a side than the Toffees, but I don't think any of us saw this one coming. 6-1 over the reigning back-to-back "best of the rest" is more than enough to vault the Gooners to the #1 spot. If (that's a BIG if) Arsenal can keep up this type of offensive efficiency (keep in mind they did not really dominate ball control, the simply capitalized their chances) then obviously they are in with a shout at the title.
2. Chelsea (Last week: 1)- A slow start to the game was made up for by a ferocious fightback, with Drogba leading the way. It looks as though he has decided to play this season, good news for any Blues fan. His second goal was just incredible, check it out:
3. Manchester United (Last week:3)- I did not watch any of their game but 1-0 over Birmingham does not awe me in any way. As Giblinho said to me via cellphone, they probably did their typical United bullcrap, which includes playing like garbage against a garbage team and somehow getting a goal.
4. Liverpool (Last week:2)- The Scousers looked a little sluggish against Spurs, which is typical of a top 4 side, those who always do tend to start the season off slow, finally hitting a groove sometime before Christmas. But one away loss in a tough atmosphere is not enough to push them too far down the rankings, especially when they arguably deserved a draw (I refer to the Voronin penalty shout). Outplayed on the day, the Reds were unlucky not to have been given a second stone cold penalty.
5. Tottenham Hotspur (Last week:6)- Beating Liverpool on opening day was huge for the Lilywhites; after losing to underdogs in the past two season openers, it was great (for me, at least) to see Spurs finally do something remarkable on opening day. Lennon, Palacios and Modric all looked incredible, and of course I was pleasently surprised to see the Cameroonian contingent of Bassong and Assou-Ekotto come through as two of the unlikeliest goalscorers. Now how about getting some results on the road?
6. Manchester City (Last week:7)- They took care of business... against Blackburn. Good for them. I'll have to wait until I see some real fight against top notch opponents before I crown them the heirs to the 4th place throne.
7. Fulham (Last week:8)- Well, they beat a team everyone expects to be relegated. Well done to the Cottagers.
8. Everton (Last week:5)- The Blue half of Mercyside were exposed by a near perfect Arsenal team. Tony Hibbert and Joseph Yobo had better recall how to defend, well, really the whole team, otherwise the Toffees could be in for a beating this season. As the ever-insightful Giblinho pointed out, none of the 6 goals could really be blamed on Howard, which means that 6 times the Everton defense gave Arsenal far too good of chances. This is a common symptom of inconsistent teams, and must be worrying for a team that hopes to crack into the Champions League.
9. Stoke City (Last week: 10)- They put Burnley in their place. Stoke have all the makings of a team that can become a Premiership mainstay.
10. West Ham (Last week:11)- A handling of newboys Wolves is nothing to scoff at, but let's be real here, it's their first Premiership game in over five years, so it's not exactly a famous victory.
11. Wigan (Last week:17)- What a display against the Villans AT Villa Park. I had heard of only 5 of Wigan's starters, but they really put Villa to the sword. Granted, it was opening day, and not much can be drawn from this in terms of end of the season finishes, but the Latics definitely know how to start off in style.
12. Aston Villa (last week:9)- Humbled at home by Wigan. Ashley Young looked more like Jermaine Pennant, and Heskey looked like he'd be needing a visit to the sports psychologist after that abysmal game for Villa.
13. Sunderland (last week:16)- Darren Bent got a goal, which was (surprise) not impressive in any way. Good for the Black Cats, but I'm still not convinced they'll be safe from the relegation dogfight.
14. Blackburn (Last week:14)- They lost to a much better City side. From the bit of the game that I saw, they actually looked alright, so I won't slide them down any in the rankings just yet.
15. Birmingham (last week:15)- They held United to only one goal... or did United just not care at all?
16. Hull City (Last week:19)- Well, they actually put up quite a fight, probably more so in this game than from all of January-May. Perhaps Phil Brown has somehow regained the dressing room? Coming up short to Chelsea is nothing to be ashamed of for a low-budget club like Hull.
17. Bolton (Last week:12)- Not much to say for Gary Cahill's men, for a couple of reasons: 1. I didn't watch their game and 2. I don't care about them at all. And they lost to a team that probably should have been relegated last season.
18. Portsmouth (Last week:18)- Well, at least they only lost by one goal... enjoy that while it lasts, Pompey...
19.Wolves (Last week: 13)- Kevin Doyle didn't even play, nor did Marcus Hahnemann. WTF?
20. Burnley (Last week:20)- WELCOME TO THE EPL!!
Now, onto the rankings:
1. Arsenal (Last week: 4)- Wow, what a start. I knew Arsenal were a shade stronger of a side than the Toffees, but I don't think any of us saw this one coming. 6-1 over the reigning back-to-back "best of the rest" is more than enough to vault the Gooners to the #1 spot. If (that's a BIG if) Arsenal can keep up this type of offensive efficiency (keep in mind they did not really dominate ball control, the simply capitalized their chances) then obviously they are in with a shout at the title.
2. Chelsea (Last week: 1)- A slow start to the game was made up for by a ferocious fightback, with Drogba leading the way. It looks as though he has decided to play this season, good news for any Blues fan. His second goal was just incredible, check it out:
3. Manchester United (Last week:3)- I did not watch any of their game but 1-0 over Birmingham does not awe me in any way. As Giblinho said to me via cellphone, they probably did their typical United bullcrap, which includes playing like garbage against a garbage team and somehow getting a goal.
4. Liverpool (Last week:2)- The Scousers looked a little sluggish against Spurs, which is typical of a top 4 side, those who always do tend to start the season off slow, finally hitting a groove sometime before Christmas. But one away loss in a tough atmosphere is not enough to push them too far down the rankings, especially when they arguably deserved a draw (I refer to the Voronin penalty shout). Outplayed on the day, the Reds were unlucky not to have been given a second stone cold penalty.
5. Tottenham Hotspur (Last week:6)- Beating Liverpool on opening day was huge for the Lilywhites; after losing to underdogs in the past two season openers, it was great (for me, at least) to see Spurs finally do something remarkable on opening day. Lennon, Palacios and Modric all looked incredible, and of course I was pleasently surprised to see the Cameroonian contingent of Bassong and Assou-Ekotto come through as two of the unlikeliest goalscorers. Now how about getting some results on the road?
6. Manchester City (Last week:7)- They took care of business... against Blackburn. Good for them. I'll have to wait until I see some real fight against top notch opponents before I crown them the heirs to the 4th place throne.
7. Fulham (Last week:8)- Well, they beat a team everyone expects to be relegated. Well done to the Cottagers.
8. Everton (Last week:5)- The Blue half of Mercyside were exposed by a near perfect Arsenal team. Tony Hibbert and Joseph Yobo had better recall how to defend, well, really the whole team, otherwise the Toffees could be in for a beating this season. As the ever-insightful Giblinho pointed out, none of the 6 goals could really be blamed on Howard, which means that 6 times the Everton defense gave Arsenal far too good of chances. This is a common symptom of inconsistent teams, and must be worrying for a team that hopes to crack into the Champions League.
9. Stoke City (Last week: 10)- They put Burnley in their place. Stoke have all the makings of a team that can become a Premiership mainstay.
10. West Ham (Last week:11)- A handling of newboys Wolves is nothing to scoff at, but let's be real here, it's their first Premiership game in over five years, so it's not exactly a famous victory.
11. Wigan (Last week:17)- What a display against the Villans AT Villa Park. I had heard of only 5 of Wigan's starters, but they really put Villa to the sword. Granted, it was opening day, and not much can be drawn from this in terms of end of the season finishes, but the Latics definitely know how to start off in style.
12. Aston Villa (last week:9)- Humbled at home by Wigan. Ashley Young looked more like Jermaine Pennant, and Heskey looked like he'd be needing a visit to the sports psychologist after that abysmal game for Villa.
13. Sunderland (last week:16)- Darren Bent got a goal, which was (surprise) not impressive in any way. Good for the Black Cats, but I'm still not convinced they'll be safe from the relegation dogfight.
14. Blackburn (Last week:14)- They lost to a much better City side. From the bit of the game that I saw, they actually looked alright, so I won't slide them down any in the rankings just yet.
15. Birmingham (last week:15)- They held United to only one goal... or did United just not care at all?
16. Hull City (Last week:19)- Well, they actually put up quite a fight, probably more so in this game than from all of January-May. Perhaps Phil Brown has somehow regained the dressing room? Coming up short to Chelsea is nothing to be ashamed of for a low-budget club like Hull.
17. Bolton (Last week:12)- Not much to say for Gary Cahill's men, for a couple of reasons: 1. I didn't watch their game and 2. I don't care about them at all. And they lost to a team that probably should have been relegated last season.
18. Portsmouth (Last week:18)- Well, at least they only lost by one goal... enjoy that while it lasts, Pompey...
19.Wolves (Last week: 13)- Kevin Doyle didn't even play, nor did Marcus Hahnemann. WTF?
20. Burnley (Last week:20)- WELCOME TO THE EPL!!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Some quick thoughts on Saturday
Because I was up rewatching season 2 of Mad Men on demand, I slept until 1225, conveniently waking up just in time for the Everton-Arsenal match. So, the only game I actually watched was that, other than flipping back to Koln-Wolfsburg.
-First, some fantasy griping. I have Matt Upson, who got me a massive 14 points, and then I had Tim Howard, who lost me 3. Ugh.
-The Everton-Arsenal match was a demolition. Everton didn't play particularly awfully, Arsenal was just that much better. The first goal was unstoppable and then the wheel started to come off. 2 of the goals were free (as in, NO ONE) headers, 3 were just very quality strikes and 1 was a Scorpion (BS Chaos in the box type). So, what does this game mean? Well, it means less for Arsenal. They proved what we all knew. They have some amazing players, especially in the technical department, on that team and they passed Everton to death. For Everton? Bad, bad, bad. They were horrendous at marking set pieces, and just lacked any sort of touch in the final 3rd. I missed their goal at the death to grab a little pride, but for the other 90 minutes, they didn't seem to even really sniff near goal. Every shot, FK or corner was RIGHT AT ALMUNIA. They always seem to start slow, but this was beyond that. They got massacred.
-On individual players, I was surprised by how ineffective, or should I say invisible?, Arshavin was. He was a revelation last season, and I still think he will rip it up this season, but he was not involved. In fact, outside of the original shot in the 6th goal, he didn't play a part in a single goal. Which, as a fantasy owner, bothers me. But his corners were pretty poor all match, and he didn't seem locked in. Obviously, this didn't matter much, but what was that all about?
-Bendtner was....well....awesome. Look, I was one of his harshest critics last year. He had horror finish after horror finish, and he was still cocky as ever. Then he starts this year refunding those with his shirt with the wrong number, and then today, was first-rate. His delightful skill set up the first goal, and he had a big part to play for most of Arsenal's attacking moves. He terrorized Baines, and really showed that he is ready to make the leap this season.
-I'm not trying to be an apologist here, but you really can't blame Timbo Slice for a single goal. Which is awful. Because that means your defense gave the other team 6 true goal-scoring opportunities where the goalie had no chance. That's pretty terrifying, considering Moyes would have assumed he would have given up 6 goals through maybe his first 5 or 6 matches.
-On the other games, Colin said that Villa looked awful in their loss to Wigan, but I'll let him cover that. No real surprises elswhere, other than Chelsea only winning 2-1 at the Bridge to Hull. Maybe they have life again? It was pleasant that there wasn't a single draw today, and considering Man U-Birmingham will most likely not be either, you're looking at the possibility of a (maximum) one-draw weekend. Pretty cool.
-Also, homefield meant nothing today. Only Chelsea and Stoke won at home. Portsmouth, Wolves, Rovers, Bolton, Villa and Everton all lost at home, and all but Bolton by multiple goals. Interesting stuff.
-First, some fantasy griping. I have Matt Upson, who got me a massive 14 points, and then I had Tim Howard, who lost me 3. Ugh.
-The Everton-Arsenal match was a demolition. Everton didn't play particularly awfully, Arsenal was just that much better. The first goal was unstoppable and then the wheel started to come off. 2 of the goals were free (as in, NO ONE) headers, 3 were just very quality strikes and 1 was a Scorpion (BS Chaos in the box type). So, what does this game mean? Well, it means less for Arsenal. They proved what we all knew. They have some amazing players, especially in the technical department, on that team and they passed Everton to death. For Everton? Bad, bad, bad. They were horrendous at marking set pieces, and just lacked any sort of touch in the final 3rd. I missed their goal at the death to grab a little pride, but for the other 90 minutes, they didn't seem to even really sniff near goal. Every shot, FK or corner was RIGHT AT ALMUNIA. They always seem to start slow, but this was beyond that. They got massacred.
-On individual players, I was surprised by how ineffective, or should I say invisible?, Arshavin was. He was a revelation last season, and I still think he will rip it up this season, but he was not involved. In fact, outside of the original shot in the 6th goal, he didn't play a part in a single goal. Which, as a fantasy owner, bothers me. But his corners were pretty poor all match, and he didn't seem locked in. Obviously, this didn't matter much, but what was that all about?
-Bendtner was....well....awesome. Look, I was one of his harshest critics last year. He had horror finish after horror finish, and he was still cocky as ever. Then he starts this year refunding those with his shirt with the wrong number, and then today, was first-rate. His delightful skill set up the first goal, and he had a big part to play for most of Arsenal's attacking moves. He terrorized Baines, and really showed that he is ready to make the leap this season.
-I'm not trying to be an apologist here, but you really can't blame Timbo Slice for a single goal. Which is awful. Because that means your defense gave the other team 6 true goal-scoring opportunities where the goalie had no chance. That's pretty terrifying, considering Moyes would have assumed he would have given up 6 goals through maybe his first 5 or 6 matches.
-On the other games, Colin said that Villa looked awful in their loss to Wigan, but I'll let him cover that. No real surprises elswhere, other than Chelsea only winning 2-1 at the Bridge to Hull. Maybe they have life again? It was pleasant that there wasn't a single draw today, and considering Man U-Birmingham will most likely not be either, you're looking at the possibility of a (maximum) one-draw weekend. Pretty cool.
-Also, homefield meant nothing today. Only Chelsea and Stoke won at home. Portsmouth, Wolves, Rovers, Bolton, Villa and Everton all lost at home, and all but Bolton by multiple goals. Interesting stuff.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Power Rankings: Week 0
Giblinho has already shared with us his views of where the Premiership is going this season; now I will grace you all with mine. Hopefully I can make this into a weekly segment, though I am making no promises... it's a 38 week season, half of which I will be spending overseas, but I rest assured I will do my best to keep this regular.
Let me start off by defining the term "power rankings" in my own words- these rankings are obviously not a direct representation of where any team is currently placed in the standings. It is more so a combination of current form and potential peak form. These rankings will tell you who the best teams are in the league at any given time. Just because Man United won the title last term does not mean they would have been ranked at #1 come week 38; on the contrary, United were in a slide towards the end of the season, and Liverpool were hot as Cayenne, therefore Liverpool likely would have filled the #1 spot.
Alright alright, enough chit-chat. Let's get to the preseason rankings:
(Please note that these are not necessarily how I think the season table will end, as obviously everything changes all the time. This is a prediction of how well suited each team is right now to winning the title)
1. Chelsea- The Blues occupy this spot mostly by process of elimination, as they are the only title contenders that didn't get substantially weaker. Yuri Zhirkov will certainly improve the aging squad, which I believe still has enough gas left in the tank for a few more years before a serious overhaul is necessary.
2. Liverpool- Losing Alonso surely will have a drastic effect on the Scousers, but let us not forget that Stevie G and Torres are arguably two of the top five players in the world. The defense is as solid as ever (backed by the amazing Reina), and Kuyt will still be there to run his own personal Marathon in every match.
3. Manchester United- Losing Ronaldo and Tevez will inevitably make them a weaker side, but remember that this is not a team that relies on any one or two players; United are littered with talent from top to bottom. True, their current goalkeeping situation is downright frightening, and they are losing the most prolific goalscorer in the past 3 years of English football; but they are still a cut above the 4th ranked squad...
4. Arsenal- The Gooners have basically been a selling club ever since I started following the game in 2006; never have I felt that they were any kind of a threat in the Premiership or in the Champions League. Still, they have a stranglehold on 4th place, and I do not see them relinquishing it this season. As I look over Arsenal's offseason dealings I see big losses, but then I look at their current roster and it still scares me. Fabregas, Van Persie, Arshavin, Walcott, Eduardo... the list goes on. There is so much talent at Arsenal that it kind of suprises me how ineffective they are in terms of winning trophies.
5. Everton- A lot of people are tipping Man City for the 5th (or even 4th) spot, but no, not this guy! Everton were plagued by injury last season and still managed 5th place (though in large part to Villa's epic disaster). With Jagielka, Arteta and the Yak all healthy again, I see Everton pushing Arsenal till the end of the season for the 4th spot. Even if the injury bug returns in the front, Tim Howard and that incredible Everton defense won't let this team fall any lower than 6th.
6. Tottenham Hotspur- I know this is going to shock people (or not, given that I am a Spurs supporter myself) but I honestly think that Spurs have a lot going for them right now: reasonably few comings and goings this offseason will allow the squad to remain mostly intact from last season, the very same squad that took 49 points from 30 games after Redknapp took charge. A strong strikeforce and excellent playmakers (Modric, Lennon) will always keep Spurs as a scoring threat... the question mark seems to be the defense. Woodgate and Dawson are out indefinitely, leaving King (who can only play at most 90 minutes a week), new boy Bassong (highly-rated Cameroonian center and left back), and Corluka (not the greatest CB in the world, much better suited to RB). If the defense can pull it together, then I can see us getting off to a flying start ( dare I hope for another WHL upset of Liverpool, perhaps?) and competing for a European berth.
7. Manchester City- I don't really see City as being as good as advertised. Even taking away the fact that they have overhauled their squad and will need time to gel/figure out everyone's roles, I still don't think they have the talent for a top 4 finish. Tevez and Barry are great, Robinho and Adebayor are great when they want to be, and Steven Ireland certainly has a bright future, but outside of that, where exactly has all of the Sheik's money been going? Santa Cruz, the one-season wonder? Toure? Bellamy, the biggest douche in the universe? de Jong (not Gabriel)? Are these really "Champions League" quality players? City have done a magnificent job of amassing a huge amount of talented players, but they have in my opinion been getting mostly players who are of the "second tier."
8. Fulham- No big signings for the Cottagers, no big losses. They overachieved a bit last season true enough, but they have the same core to rely on that earned them 7th place and a Europa League campaign. Dempsey, Haangeland, Schwarzer and Andy Johnson all have the potential to be huge once again at Craven Cottage. And can anyone tell me how on earth Danny Murphy is resurrecting his career like this?
9. Aston Villa- Not exactly the hottest team at the end of last season, Villa have lost their two best players (to City and to retirement) and now must reverse their fortunes from the home stretch. The Friedel/Guzan goalkeeping tandom will ensure that a quality 'Murican is between the posts at all times, but can the midfield overcome the loss of Barry, who so often dictated games? And can the backline replace Laursen, the constant rock for the past six seasons?
10. Stoke City- Most people have them sliding down after last year's overacheivement, but I see them doing it once again. The Britannia is no playground, and I am really liking this James Beattie fellow. Throw Delap in there (yes, that was a pun) and you've got a decent, midtable team.
11. West Ham- Getting Luis Jiminez on loan from Inter was something of a coup for the Hammers, but that won't stop them from finishing in the bottom half. West Ham are very uninteresting to me. Hopefully Jonothan Spector gets the RB spot nailed down in East London.
12. Bolton- Totally uninspiring but they always seem to do alright. I wouldn't be surprised in they finished down lower, maybe 16th even, but I can't see them dropping to the Coca-Cola any time soon.
13. Wolves- I know very little about them, but Kevin Doyle will lead the Premiership in scoring this season.
14. Blackburn- Sam Allardyce is the master of making me hate watching soccer, but he will keep them up for sure. This is the last time I will mention a Sam Allardyce team in more than one sentence.
15. Birmingham- I hated them when they were last in the Premiership- they beat Tottenham 4-1 twice in that season. Also they are a bunch of thugs, according to Michael Voltaire Cioce (who is supposedly a write for this blog, though I have never seen any evidence of it). But I think they will have learned from their last voyage into the top flight, and when you couple that with the fact that there are a lot of bad teams in the Premiership, it equals survival.
16. Sunderland- Darren Bent will get his 15 goals (none of them impressive), and the rest of the Tottenham rejects at Sunderland will all perform like, well, rejects, and it will be enough to keep the Black Cats up, but not by much. Sunderland put on quite a display of how not to act in the midst of a relegation battle, which couldn't have been great for team confidence. Plus their captain is from Albania... this does not bode well. Oh, but let's not forget the huge summer signing of Lee Cattermole, I bet that'll really inspire this team up the table... I would like to add that I am loving the CONCACAF representation at Sunderland, I'd love to see them keep that up.
17. Wigan- They continue to find players for dirt cheap and turn them into huge profits (a la Wilson Palacios, Antonio Valencia). But who will be this season's big find? I have no idea, but the potential that it is out there is enough for the Latics to not start the season in my relegation zone. Other than that the team is relatively uninspiring.
18. Portsmouth- The financial collapse at Fratton Park has been well documented. Reports have said that players must be sold simply to fund the operating expenses of the club, and this does not bode well for the southerners at all. Losing nearly all of their talent has meant that unless a takeover happens soon, it will be something of a miracle if this team manages to stay afloat.
19. Hull City- only escaping 20th because they have Jozy Altidore. I see no reason (except a possible Jozy-led revolution) that the Tigers won't continue their Slip'n'Slide down the football totem pole of poor form. They are almost at Derby County levels.
20. Burnley- I know they are a sentimental pick to stay up, especially given their attractive style of play, but let's look at the facts- they finished 5th in the Championship last season and have not strengthened at all. Is that good enough to stay up in the Premiership? I can see it happening, but they are going to have to prove it before they climb out of the cellar on these rankings. I wish them luck, 'cause they're gonna need it.
Let me start off by defining the term "power rankings" in my own words- these rankings are obviously not a direct representation of where any team is currently placed in the standings. It is more so a combination of current form and potential peak form. These rankings will tell you who the best teams are in the league at any given time. Just because Man United won the title last term does not mean they would have been ranked at #1 come week 38; on the contrary, United were in a slide towards the end of the season, and Liverpool were hot as Cayenne, therefore Liverpool likely would have filled the #1 spot.
Alright alright, enough chit-chat. Let's get to the preseason rankings:
(Please note that these are not necessarily how I think the season table will end, as obviously everything changes all the time. This is a prediction of how well suited each team is right now to winning the title)
1. Chelsea- The Blues occupy this spot mostly by process of elimination, as they are the only title contenders that didn't get substantially weaker. Yuri Zhirkov will certainly improve the aging squad, which I believe still has enough gas left in the tank for a few more years before a serious overhaul is necessary.
2. Liverpool- Losing Alonso surely will have a drastic effect on the Scousers, but let us not forget that Stevie G and Torres are arguably two of the top five players in the world. The defense is as solid as ever (backed by the amazing Reina), and Kuyt will still be there to run his own personal Marathon in every match.
3. Manchester United- Losing Ronaldo and Tevez will inevitably make them a weaker side, but remember that this is not a team that relies on any one or two players; United are littered with talent from top to bottom. True, their current goalkeeping situation is downright frightening, and they are losing the most prolific goalscorer in the past 3 years of English football; but they are still a cut above the 4th ranked squad...
4. Arsenal- The Gooners have basically been a selling club ever since I started following the game in 2006; never have I felt that they were any kind of a threat in the Premiership or in the Champions League. Still, they have a stranglehold on 4th place, and I do not see them relinquishing it this season. As I look over Arsenal's offseason dealings I see big losses, but then I look at their current roster and it still scares me. Fabregas, Van Persie, Arshavin, Walcott, Eduardo... the list goes on. There is so much talent at Arsenal that it kind of suprises me how ineffective they are in terms of winning trophies.
5. Everton- A lot of people are tipping Man City for the 5th (or even 4th) spot, but no, not this guy! Everton were plagued by injury last season and still managed 5th place (though in large part to Villa's epic disaster). With Jagielka, Arteta and the Yak all healthy again, I see Everton pushing Arsenal till the end of the season for the 4th spot. Even if the injury bug returns in the front, Tim Howard and that incredible Everton defense won't let this team fall any lower than 6th.
6. Tottenham Hotspur- I know this is going to shock people (or not, given that I am a Spurs supporter myself) but I honestly think that Spurs have a lot going for them right now: reasonably few comings and goings this offseason will allow the squad to remain mostly intact from last season, the very same squad that took 49 points from 30 games after Redknapp took charge. A strong strikeforce and excellent playmakers (Modric, Lennon) will always keep Spurs as a scoring threat... the question mark seems to be the defense. Woodgate and Dawson are out indefinitely, leaving King (who can only play at most 90 minutes a week), new boy Bassong (highly-rated Cameroonian center and left back), and Corluka (not the greatest CB in the world, much better suited to RB). If the defense can pull it together, then I can see us getting off to a flying start ( dare I hope for another WHL upset of Liverpool, perhaps?) and competing for a European berth.
7. Manchester City- I don't really see City as being as good as advertised. Even taking away the fact that they have overhauled their squad and will need time to gel/figure out everyone's roles, I still don't think they have the talent for a top 4 finish. Tevez and Barry are great, Robinho and Adebayor are great when they want to be, and Steven Ireland certainly has a bright future, but outside of that, where exactly has all of the Sheik's money been going? Santa Cruz, the one-season wonder? Toure? Bellamy, the biggest douche in the universe? de Jong (not Gabriel)? Are these really "Champions League" quality players? City have done a magnificent job of amassing a huge amount of talented players, but they have in my opinion been getting mostly players who are of the "second tier."
8. Fulham- No big signings for the Cottagers, no big losses. They overachieved a bit last season true enough, but they have the same core to rely on that earned them 7th place and a Europa League campaign. Dempsey, Haangeland, Schwarzer and Andy Johnson all have the potential to be huge once again at Craven Cottage. And can anyone tell me how on earth Danny Murphy is resurrecting his career like this?
9. Aston Villa- Not exactly the hottest team at the end of last season, Villa have lost their two best players (to City and to retirement) and now must reverse their fortunes from the home stretch. The Friedel/Guzan goalkeeping tandom will ensure that a quality 'Murican is between the posts at all times, but can the midfield overcome the loss of Barry, who so often dictated games? And can the backline replace Laursen, the constant rock for the past six seasons?
10. Stoke City- Most people have them sliding down after last year's overacheivement, but I see them doing it once again. The Britannia is no playground, and I am really liking this James Beattie fellow. Throw Delap in there (yes, that was a pun) and you've got a decent, midtable team.
11. West Ham- Getting Luis Jiminez on loan from Inter was something of a coup for the Hammers, but that won't stop them from finishing in the bottom half. West Ham are very uninteresting to me. Hopefully Jonothan Spector gets the RB spot nailed down in East London.
12. Bolton- Totally uninspiring but they always seem to do alright. I wouldn't be surprised in they finished down lower, maybe 16th even, but I can't see them dropping to the Coca-Cola any time soon.
13. Wolves- I know very little about them, but Kevin Doyle will lead the Premiership in scoring this season.
14. Blackburn- Sam Allardyce is the master of making me hate watching soccer, but he will keep them up for sure. This is the last time I will mention a Sam Allardyce team in more than one sentence.
15. Birmingham- I hated them when they were last in the Premiership- they beat Tottenham 4-1 twice in that season. Also they are a bunch of thugs, according to Michael Voltaire Cioce (who is supposedly a write for this blog, though I have never seen any evidence of it). But I think they will have learned from their last voyage into the top flight, and when you couple that with the fact that there are a lot of bad teams in the Premiership, it equals survival.
16. Sunderland- Darren Bent will get his 15 goals (none of them impressive), and the rest of the Tottenham rejects at Sunderland will all perform like, well, rejects, and it will be enough to keep the Black Cats up, but not by much. Sunderland put on quite a display of how not to act in the midst of a relegation battle, which couldn't have been great for team confidence. Plus their captain is from Albania... this does not bode well. Oh, but let's not forget the huge summer signing of Lee Cattermole, I bet that'll really inspire this team up the table... I would like to add that I am loving the CONCACAF representation at Sunderland, I'd love to see them keep that up.
17. Wigan- They continue to find players for dirt cheap and turn them into huge profits (a la Wilson Palacios, Antonio Valencia). But who will be this season's big find? I have no idea, but the potential that it is out there is enough for the Latics to not start the season in my relegation zone. Other than that the team is relatively uninspiring.
18. Portsmouth- The financial collapse at Fratton Park has been well documented. Reports have said that players must be sold simply to fund the operating expenses of the club, and this does not bode well for the southerners at all. Losing nearly all of their talent has meant that unless a takeover happens soon, it will be something of a miracle if this team manages to stay afloat.
19. Hull City- only escaping 20th because they have Jozy Altidore. I see no reason (except a possible Jozy-led revolution) that the Tigers won't continue their Slip'n'Slide down the football totem pole of poor form. They are almost at Derby County levels.
20. Burnley- I know they are a sentimental pick to stay up, especially given their attractive style of play, but let's look at the facts- they finished 5th in the Championship last season and have not strengthened at all. Is that good enough to stay up in the Premiership? I can see it happening, but they are going to have to prove it before they climb out of the cellar on these rankings. I wish them luck, 'cause they're gonna need it.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Big, Super-Duper Premier League Preview
Well, lets go alphabetically by team.
Arsenal
Biggest Strength Amazing technical ability, international squad is always on the forefront of diving tactics
Biggest Weakness Simply put: They're pussies.
X Factor Jack Wilshere. He's tiny, he's young, but he is immensely talented. At 17, how effective, and game-changing, can he really be?
Achilles Heel Health. Nasri and Rosicky are already out to start the season.
Prediction 5th
Oh Arsenal. You have to admire Wenger for sticking to his principles, but really, he is being done in by the fact that the players he tends to prefer (small, technically gifted, pacy) are also the ones that tend to spend a lot of time on the trainer's table, especially when you have no hard men to protect them. That is the story of Arsenal this year, and while Wenger has plenty of cash to spend after getting a fortune for the relatively undesired gifts of Adebayor and Toure, he doesn't look like spending any of it, unless he can convince Bordeaux to get his token starlet. As I stated above, Nasri and Rosicky are hurt, and while Nasri is a great player who should come back soon enough, Rosicky is hurt enough that I don't even think it's fair to really consider him a squad player. Honestly, since he dismantled the United States in 2006 World Cup, he has all of 61 appearances for Arsenal in ALL competitions. He's averaging about 20 apperances a year, which is great for a support player, but not someone as talented as Rosicky. Walcott and Fabs are back, but this team just can't seem to stay healthy. If their starting 11 stays relatively intact for the course of the year, they probably have enough steam to hold off City and even maybe push for 3rd or even 2nd. I just don't see that happening. They have too many injury-prone players and not enough grit to grind out tough victories. Hopefully they can beat Celtic in the qualifiers for the Champions League, otherwise it'll be back-to-back years in the Europa League.
Aston Villa
Biggest Strength Responsible and smart leadership, bolstered by some real quality players. If Ashley Young stays, which is more likely by the day, they have a great, albeit not particularly deep, squad
Biggest Weakness Can they really replace Gareth Barry?
X-Factor Fabian Delph. He is one of the most hyped up English products in a while, and most of those don't end well. If he is as good as advertised, how long until we see it?
Achilles Heel Stewart Downing is not, and never will be, Gareth Barry
Prediction 8th
Looking at the squad, it doesn't look much different. Only Barry and Laursen really mattered last year, and then you brought in some highly vaunted players in Delph and Downing. Sylvain Distin is always rumored in at the club, but it looks like that will be on hold as Portsmouth may want to actually field a team this season. O'Neill is a great manager, but really, how is this club going to get over that collapse last season? They were in pole position for 4th, and while Arsenal did get hot, they didn't exactly light up the Premiership. Villa folded so bad that they fell to 6th, and while they get to play in the Europa League again, it is a very small consolation. I don't see them making either this season simply because the downgrade from Barry is too much. Delph is coming from League 1, so even if he is a prodigy, it'll take at least a season to adjust to actually talented players. Downing was the creative fulcrum for a team that finished 19th, so how is supposed to be a replacement for the creative fulcrum for the team that finished 6th? I just don't see it. City will obviously leapfrog them, Everton is still better and throw in a full season for Harry Houdini, and 8th it is for Villa.
Birmingham, Burnley
Biggest Strength They're happy to be here
Biggest Weakness Both of them will have trouble scoring.
X-Factor A Reading-esque first-year charge is always possible.
Achilles Heel Both teams don't seem particularly talented, and not well suited for life in the Premier League.
Prediction 17th, 18th
I'm lumping them together because I'm not going to bullshit you. I don't follow the Championship. I'll follow Ipswich Town this year, because I love Roy Keane and I'm from a town called Ipswich. But otherwise, I never care. I'll check some results, but really, I don't know anything. I looked at the transfers, and Birmingham's aren't bad, and considering they did finish 2nd, perhaps I'll give them the nod to get 17th instead of Burnley. Burnley didn't really seem to buy anyone, and they finished 6th in the Championship. I know the pundits are lauding their promotion, and really, good for them. I just don't see them not yo-yoing. Both could stay up considering the relative impotence of some other teams that are still in the Premier League (we really should have relegated 6 last year), and considering most of those teams didn't get better (or even got worse), I wouldn't be surprised to see both of these teams stay up. But for the record, Birmingham 17th, Burnley 18th.
Blackburn Rovers
Biggest Strength Strong, tough Allardyce defense
Biggest Weakness Weak, impotent Allardyce offense
X Factor Deranged fan may light himself on fire for pure entertainment value. These games are going to be boooooorrrrrring.
Achilles Heel They are the cheapest tickets in the Premiership for a reason. NO ONE WANTS TO WATCH THEM.
Prediction 11th
Sam Allardyce has always challenged football fans. He inevitably gets results. His Bolton teams finished 5th in back-to-back seasons and nearly got relegated when he left. He can take crap teams and turn them into mid-table mediocrity, and sometimes, even, a Europa League bid. So, you'd think, he'd be one of the most popular managers in England. But watching Sam Allardyce coach football is not enjoyable. His teams are not fun to watch, his games are not interesting, and even his own fans have trouble going to games. Is football for entertainment or results? It's an argument for another day, but considering Allardyce is managing Blackburn, it's really the only interesting thing I can talk about. They'll be decent, grind out results and finish 11th. Yawn.
Bolton Wanderers
Biggest Strength Megson is really just an Allardyce clone, so yet again, strong defense.
Biggest Weakness As you will see with many other previews, this doesn't seem to be a high-scoring year. They'll struggle for goals.
X Factor They are a young, improving side, and those always have a chance to break out.
Achilles Heel They are a young, improving side, and those always have a chance for implosion.
Prediction 16th
Bolton is more or less the team they were last year, and another year of experience should help them out. So, why are they still only 16th in my prediction? Simple put, who will be worse? I think Stoke's homefield advantage gives them too much compared to Bolton, Sunderland made some good signings and had a strong squad already and Blackburn will get a full year with Allardyce. There isn't the same underclass this year as there was last year, and that is a great thing. If Birmingham/Burnley can punch above their weight, we might actually see teams with ability fight over relegation, and maybe even win some games! I'm telling you, it could be fun. Bolton will probably stay safe though, and make into the escapee zone for another year.
Chelsea
Biggest Strength Great squad loaded with internationals, basically reads as an all-star team. Drogba is a top 5 striker, Lampard a top 5 CM and Cech is a top 10 keeper. Add into that mix a ton of great players and it's hard to point to one strength.
Biggest Weakness How will Chelsea deal with their new diamond formation? It restricts some of the width that made them powerful under Mourinho, and with Bosingwa and Cole already shaky on defending responsibilities, do you really want to encourage to spend more time charging the flanks?
X Factor Drogba-Anelka. It is a bizarre partnership, but Hiddink seemed to make it work. Can Ancelotti?
Achilles Heel Age. With it comes the slow decay of abilities and a proneness to injuries. It shouldn't really affect Chelsea too much, but it's the elephant in the room.
Prediction 3rd
If Chelsea ever has a year to win with this squad, it is this year. Manchester United have lost their best player and have a mess at the goalkeeper position, and Liverpool lost half of their dynamic midfield in Alonso. Chelsea have always been the unlikable team, and really, I'd much rather see Manchester win the 4th in a row then watch Drogba, Ballack, Terry and Cashley Cole wildly celebrate a Premiership title. On paper, there's nothing that should stop them. Their squad is great, their players are world class, but there always seems to be an obstacle that trips them up in the home stretch. I don't really foresee that changing either, as this is the same team they've trotted out for the past few seasons. I know Colin hates Malouda, but he really played well under Hiddink, and I'm curious if he can keep that up for Ancelotti. I've never seen a team be as manager-dependent as this one, and it's ironic, considering a team full of veteran stars should be the last one to be so suspectible to their leadership. For better or for worse, it's down to Ancelotti, and in his first year at least, I don't see him capturing the title.
Everton
Biggest strength The definition of a team effort, Moyes has really crafted a cohesive unit that is always better than the sum of its parts. Having the world's best goalkeeper helps too.
Biggest Weakness Lack of depth. They were ravaged by injuries last year, and if it weren't for Villa's implosion and Tottenham's sluggish start, could have missed out on Europe.
X Factor How do they fare without Lescott if he goes, and if he stays, will he be a locker room cancer?
Achilles Heel Injuries, injuries, injuries
Prediction 6th
Everton is really a great story. They are a team that plays as one, and always does better than it should based on the strength of themselves as a unit. Unfortunately, in the Premiership that only results in the Europa League and 5th placed finishes, but it is great in its own little way. Moyes is a world-class manager, and when I think of how no big four team has never tried to raid him, it always comes as a surprise. Outside of their famous snag of Anton Peterlin, the squad is unchanged. And while in normal circumstances, I could pick them to sneak into 4th against Arsenal, I just don't see that happening anymore. Wenger's next generation is starting to blossom, as evidenced by the form of Wilshere and Vela, and Manchester City built themselves a superteam overnight. The era of the small-budget club that wins with brains and guile are unfortunately going by the wayside, and within a few years there won't even be places in the Europa League for them. Everton should enjoy this golden age while it lasts, and themselves and Aston Villa may very well be the last true small-budget contenders in England.
Fulham
Biggest Strength You know they're a lot like Everton. Great manager, great team squad.
Biggest Weakness A little too-dependent on home form, and that is never a good thing. They're an awful road team.
X Factor Clint Dempsey had a monster second half last season, can he follow it up this year?
Achilles Heel The scored 39 goals in 38 matches. That's a very poor return and one that could create issues next season.
Prediction 9th
Fulham, the former stronghold of American soccer, now only has one regular player from the states, and he is slowly emerging as their best player. Clint Dempsey really stepped up once Bullard was transferred, and if he can follow it up with a full season of top-class football, he probably will be looking at bigger things than the cottage next summer. They have an unchanged side, just as Hodgson would like it, and while that settling may prove healthy, this is still a side that has trouble scoring goals. They can't rely on getting 0-0 draws all the time, and while Schwarzer is a great keeper, it's far too much pressure to put on the Aussie. Fulham really overachieved last season, and they get the fruits of their labor in the form of the Europa League. Hopefully it won't prove too distracting for the team, and they can stay a top-half team.
Hull City
Biggest Strength Newfound American support by getting Altidore?
Biggest Weakness Phil Brown
X Factor Whoever replaces Phil Brown as manager, and when.
Achilles Heel Phil Brown
Prediction 19th
Look, lets get this out of the way. I'm not a huge fan of Phil Brown. His singular quest to make his skin Hull Orange is rather disturbing, and his obsession with celebrity and media is pathetic. It's one thing if you're the manager of a newly promoted side who is sharing first place, but it's something altogether different when your squad gets 1 point from 12 matches. They really didn't add much (as much as I love Jozy) and considering how woeful they were last season, I don't see why that would change. I don't see where they are going to get goals from, and how is going to stop them shipping on the other end. The team was unmasked as a fraud early last season, and thats not changing anytime soon. If Brown gets replaced by somebody highly competent at some point early in the season, they have hope, but not much. I'd say 20th, but really, I like Jozy too much. 19th it is.
Liverpool
Biggest Strength Gerrard/Torres.
Biggest Weakness Depth, but now the fact that Aquilani will have to adjust to the English game in a title hunt is not exactly great either.
X Factor Aquilani is supposedly more of a goal-scoring threat than Alonso. Can he shoulder some of the goal-scoring burden off of the big 2?
Achilles Heel Lucas Leiva is still a regular squad member.
Prediction 1st (come on, did you expect something else?)
Ah the Scousers. Not as eventful a summer for them as the media would have you believe (Johnson, Aquilani in, Alonso, Arbeloa out), and considering they made a large defensive upgrade as well as remains-to-be-seen replacement of Alonso, and the fact that those transfers about equal out in value seems to be pretty good business for Liverpool. I was surprised by how little they got for Arbeloa, but I guess watching a player for every game may inflate his value just a tad. Glen Johnson is a high-quality back, and can contribute immediately, and I'm holding out hope for Aquilani. What it comes down to for Liverpool are two things: Keeping Gerrard/Torres healthy and incorporating Benayoun. Benayoun you ask? Benayoun was the only other person who kept us in the hunt for trophies last season, from a goal-scoring perspective. Kuyt is always dependable for work rate, but Benayoun provided brilliance from an unexpected source, and it would be a shame to have him languishing on the bench all season. He is a top-quality player, and if Rafa can figure out how to make him more involved, he could be the crux that swings the title back to Liverpool. Manchester United is weaker this season, and Liverpool must capitalize, and with smart management, I think they can.
Manchester City
Biggest Strength Staggering depth
Biggest Weakness No forthcoming rule change to allow 20 players a team.
X Factor Stephen Ireland was their best player last season, but he's not a big name, will he stay relevant in this galactico-like side?
Achilles Heel Can Sparky really keep all these egos in check?
Prediction 4th
Manchester City is making Chelsea look frugal. They have bought an absurdly large squad, and just recently remembered that you generally want a defense to accompany the offense. Simply put, they have too much talent. There are too many players here who can create breathtaking goals for them to fail. It is a top-quality side full of great players, and really, their biggest issue is finding enough space for them all. Critics say they don't have workers, but last I checked, their lineup included Gareth Barry and Carlos Tevez, so I'm going to have to go and disagree on that one. I think their best lineup will be Tevez/Adebayor up top with Robinho/Ireland/De Jong/Barry in the midfield. The worst kept secret is that Roque Santa Cruz had one good year and actually sucked last season, but don't tell Mark Hughes that. I'll wait to see when he realizes that and benches him. If Hughes is able to keep the egos in check, this team can challenge for the title, but I don't think they'll be able to do it this year. Instead, they'll have to settle for 4th. Not too shabby for the blue side of Manchester.
Manchester United
Biggest Strength Where do I start?
Biggest Weakness Cristiano's departure may lower international fandom from 3 billion to 2.95 billion
X Factor The young guys: Macheda/Welbeck. Can they deliver again this year?
Achilles Heel Rooney is inconsistent, though no one likes to mention it. Is he really the best bet for your generator of offense?
Prediction 2nd
Oh, Manchester United. Where to begin? They have the best living manager, one of the best defenses and the best youth development system in the world. They're a lock for the title right? Maybe not. Lets first start off with what has been Fergie's achilles heel as a manager: goalkeeper evaluation. He's had two periods of immense success, which happen to coincide with the two great goalies he has had: Peter Schmichael and Edwin van der Sar. With questions mounting about van der Sars's health, Ben Foster is waiting in the wings, and as we all saw in the charity shield, that is not an encouarging sign. Moving forward from there, the defense is all that it was last year, which is too say, remarkable. If van der Sar can come back in time, United won't ship a lot of goals. The midfield is where the new-look United is starting to take shape. Anderson has established himself with Carrick and Fletcher as the first-choice central midfielders, and all of them have immense quality. The wingers will have to prove themselves however. Nani on one wing has been something of an enigma in his time at Old Trafford, displaying dazzling skill but also poor decision-making and determination. Valencia was great at Wigan, but there is a different element to playing for a club like United, and we'll see if he can handle it. Suddenly, unlike in days past, the strikers are expected to score goals now too. Rooney has had consistency problems his whole career, and Berbatov has won over few fans in Stretford End. And Mickey Boy will have as much to prove as anyone, and who can say they're not looking forward to his match at Anfield? All in all, it's a Manchester United team that didn't win the title by much last year, and it came down to the wire. Their changes? Their goalies are less healthy, they brought in a new winger, and oh yeah, they sold the best player in the world. Ronny's departure will be deep as his midfield goals took pressure off the whole team, and before his emergence as a superstar, United were without the Premier League for half a decade. Will his departure spark a similar drought? Probably not, but just like my analysis, Manchester United this season is full of questions.
Portsmouth
Biggest Strength Lack of leadership means no chance for player mutiny
Biggest Weakness When I was making my fantasy team, the only striker listed for Portsmouth was David Nugent. Enough said.
X Factor You know, someone really rich could buy them.
Achilles Heel They aren't allowed to take a pass on this season.
Prediction 20th
Oh, Portsmouth. Rarely does a team do better when it ships its manager and all of their best players and replaces them with...nothing. If Portsmouth is bought soon, it'll probably be too late, as the club is now threadbare in terms of depth and quality, having only 18 outfield players. Hart is a great manager, and an amazing developer of talent, but even he will not be able to fix this mess. If bought, even by a spend-happy billionaire, Portsmouth will have to weather the first half of the season, which looks like it will not be particulary easy, or fun to watch. Portsmouth will probably finish above Hull City, who look absolutely woeful, but as I said before, I just can't bet against Jozy like that, so I give the joy of propping up the table to the south coast. It doesn't really matter, as both are going down hard anyways.
Stoke City
Biggest Strength Britannia Stadium has magical properties
Biggest Weakness When more than half your goals from someone not named James Beattie come from throw-ins, it may be a problem.
X Factor Can they stay as resilient at home?
Achilles Heel Behind hard-hitting defense and somewhat efficient offense, lies a large void of technical ability.
Prediction 13th
Tony Pulis puts Sam Allardyce to shame. He's making a hard-hitting team that people actually want to cheer for, if only because of their provincial nature. It's a team that swallow up anyone, as evidenced by two draws with Liverpool (that ultimately cost them the title). Pulis made great signings last January, with Beattie being the steal of that particular window. While the side has remained relatively unchanged, that does mean they'll have to rely on everything that kept them afloat last year. Their home form cannot falter, unless they suddenly want to start winning on the road. Beattie and Delap must provide offense again and the defense must hold firm. Pulis has never been relegated in his 18 seasons, and I don't see why that would change this one, but he can never take his eye off the 8-ball. There just isn't that big a margin of error.
Sunderland
Biggest Strength Steve Bruce and a new-look offense
Biggest Weakness Remember last time Darren Bent was unquestionably his team's best striker (Charlton Athletic-19th)
X Factor If Bent and Campbell can work well together, Sunderland can propel themselves to the top half of the league.
Achilles Heel This is a talented squad, but as was shown last year, not one full of heart and determination.
Prediction 12th
If only Roy Keane had lightened up a little bit. Maybe, just maybe, his team would begin responding again like they did in the Championship. Maybe he could take his rather talented squad and have them finish around mid-table again, gearing up for a Europa push in a year or two. But, alas, it was not meant to be. Keano left, and in his place came the incompetent Ricky Sbragia. Sunderland is still talented, and now with a good manager, the Wearside may begin to enjoy this newfound reversal of fortune of them being the higher-league club to rivals Newcastle. The additions of Bent and Campbell could help get some goals that the pouty Cisse was unable to provide last season, but as I stated, Bent being your main attacking option is no guarantee of success. He finished 4th in the league in goals, and his team finished 19th in standings. Frazier Campbell is an unproven player, and just because he came from Manchester United does not mean he's necessarily any good. After all, Fergie doesn't often let good players go (though, Giuseppe Rossi and Gerard Pique may disagree). Despite my misgivings of their new striking talent, this team does have far more to work with than most of the bottom half, and given their manager's experience in the top flight, should be rather safe from the drop, unlike last season, where only the sheer impotence of their rivals saved them.
Tottenham Hotspur
Biggest Strength Tons of attacking options, maybe too many, but still, a plethora of weapons are at Houdini's disposal.
Biggest Weakness Injury-prone backline could make them look like the Tottenham of the Berbatov years.
X Factor What do they play up top, and how soon can they find the effective formation?
Achilles Heel They have three strikers who all left previous clubs for a lack of playing time, how does Harry make them all happy, and oh yeah, they have Pavs too.
Prediction 7th
Spurs are looking like the spurs of yore. They are talented on the offensive end, and have their own slew of issues on the backline. They even brought back Defoe, Keane and Chimbonda. However, Harry will be tested in two critical departments. One, is how does he play all his strikers. Keane is his captain, and a big personality, but he seems to have settled on Crouch and Defoe. Does he give Keane his third transfer in a little over a year? Does he use a striker rotation policy? Redknapp was very happy with the Defoe/Crouch partnership at Portsmouth, and it is unlikely that he will want to shake it up too much, but as we all saw at Anfield, Robbie Keane reacts quite poorly to having his minutes trifled with. The Ledley King issue will always remain, but it is how newcomers Bassong, Naughton and Walker will fare that will probably decide Spurs' fate. If the newcomers are able to seemlessly incorporate themselves into the squad and be top contributors, Tottenham can spoil Everton or even Arsenal's party. While someone will be unhappy, whoever lines up at striker will be good, and should provide the goals they need. Their midfield is set. All Tottenham has to do is work out the kinks, for which Harry as shown a rather deft ability.
West Ham United
Biggest Strength Zola has proven to be a management whiz, and is bolstered by a solid backline
Biggest Weakness Financial issues always seem to manifest at the worst possible time.
X Factor No one relies on youth like Zola, and how they respond to a whole year in the spotlight will be telling.
Achilles Heel Very young squad + Increased expecations could equal disaster.
Prediction 10th
West Ham is a great story. Despite swirling financial turmoil, a playing legend took the reins of manager and led a young team to a respectable finish. I expect Zola and the kids to do just fine next year, it's just that I can't seem them replicating the same kind of success they had last season. First, young teams almost uniformly perform poorly when expectations are raised, but more importantly, financial turmoil wears down a team. Suddenly Gianfranco will be under pressure he didn't see before, and in January, don't be surprised to see some of his starlets get raided. Compared to the issues surrounding Portsmouth and Hull, it seems to be small potatoes at Upton Park. I think perhaps next season, not the forthcoming one, will be a breakout one, and for now, Zola and his kiddies just have to bid their time.
Wigan Athletic
Biggest Strength A strong backline remains despite something of a selloff
Biggest Weakness Since January, they've sold their three best players in Heskey, Palacios and Valencia.
X Factor Can Roberto Martinez replace Steve Bruce?
Achilles Heel Their new best player is probably Titus Bramble.
Prediction 15th
Wigan has been rather inspiring in how once they got the Premiership in 2005, they held on for dear life and haven't let go. They have had a history of selling their best players, and these past 8 months have been no different. Gone are Emilie Heskey, Wilson Palacios and Antonio Valencia, all three onto bigger and better things. It's one thing to replace a key player, it's an entirely different thing to replace 3. Wigan was in pole position for a Europa league spot even towards the latter half of last season, but their newly-deplted squad fell down to 11th. This year, they'll fall a little further. Wigan wasn't particularly interesting even with those talented players, and now it appears, it'll be even less so. Don't expect to see Wigan in the mix of things for Europa again, instead, they'll be a team slipping back into lower-mid table obscurity.
Wolverhampton Wanderers
Biggest Strength Luck of the Irish: Mick McCarthy and Kevin Doyle!
Biggest Weakness McCarthy doesn't have the world's best history with keeping teams up
X Factor They have a lot of new signings, how will they all gel?
Achilles Heel They're a championship team who signed players from championship-level teams. Will that be enough?
Prediction 14th
When it comes to teams I'm going to cheer for next year, Wolverhampton has be included. Besides their Irish element, they have an American keeper in Marcus Hahnemann! For those keeping track at home, that means there are currently 3 American goalies starting in England with a fourth backing up another American! Decent days for American footy. I really don't know a ton about Wolves, considering as I stated above, I never watch the Championship. I'm not going to pretend I have working knowledge of this team, and I'm just going to mention how McCarthy is a quality manager, Doyle is a quality striker and they seemed to have made some decent signings elsewhere. Combined with a squad that won the Championship rather handidly last season, it should be enough to keep them safe.
For those of you who need a recap, here is how my table looks:
1. Liverpool
2. Manchester United
3. Chelsea
4. Manchester City
5. Arsenal
6. Everton
7. Tottenham Hotspur
8. Aston Villa
9. Fulham
10. West Ham United
11. Blackburn Rovers
12. Sunderland
13. Stoke City
14. Wolverhampton Wanderers
15. Wigan Athletic
16. Bolton Wanderers
17. Birmingham
18. Burnley
19. Hull City
20. Portsmouth
There you go, there's my preview. It's like you don't even have to watch the season now, you know how it ends!
Arsenal
Biggest Strength Amazing technical ability, international squad is always on the forefront of diving tactics
Biggest Weakness Simply put: They're pussies.
X Factor Jack Wilshere. He's tiny, he's young, but he is immensely talented. At 17, how effective, and game-changing, can he really be?
Achilles Heel Health. Nasri and Rosicky are already out to start the season.
Prediction 5th
Oh Arsenal. You have to admire Wenger for sticking to his principles, but really, he is being done in by the fact that the players he tends to prefer (small, technically gifted, pacy) are also the ones that tend to spend a lot of time on the trainer's table, especially when you have no hard men to protect them. That is the story of Arsenal this year, and while Wenger has plenty of cash to spend after getting a fortune for the relatively undesired gifts of Adebayor and Toure, he doesn't look like spending any of it, unless he can convince Bordeaux to get his token starlet. As I stated above, Nasri and Rosicky are hurt, and while Nasri is a great player who should come back soon enough, Rosicky is hurt enough that I don't even think it's fair to really consider him a squad player. Honestly, since he dismantled the United States in 2006 World Cup, he has all of 61 appearances for Arsenal in ALL competitions. He's averaging about 20 apperances a year, which is great for a support player, but not someone as talented as Rosicky. Walcott and Fabs are back, but this team just can't seem to stay healthy. If their starting 11 stays relatively intact for the course of the year, they probably have enough steam to hold off City and even maybe push for 3rd or even 2nd. I just don't see that happening. They have too many injury-prone players and not enough grit to grind out tough victories. Hopefully they can beat Celtic in the qualifiers for the Champions League, otherwise it'll be back-to-back years in the Europa League.
Aston Villa
Biggest Strength Responsible and smart leadership, bolstered by some real quality players. If Ashley Young stays, which is more likely by the day, they have a great, albeit not particularly deep, squad
Biggest Weakness Can they really replace Gareth Barry?
X-Factor Fabian Delph. He is one of the most hyped up English products in a while, and most of those don't end well. If he is as good as advertised, how long until we see it?
Achilles Heel Stewart Downing is not, and never will be, Gareth Barry
Prediction 8th
Looking at the squad, it doesn't look much different. Only Barry and Laursen really mattered last year, and then you brought in some highly vaunted players in Delph and Downing. Sylvain Distin is always rumored in at the club, but it looks like that will be on hold as Portsmouth may want to actually field a team this season. O'Neill is a great manager, but really, how is this club going to get over that collapse last season? They were in pole position for 4th, and while Arsenal did get hot, they didn't exactly light up the Premiership. Villa folded so bad that they fell to 6th, and while they get to play in the Europa League again, it is a very small consolation. I don't see them making either this season simply because the downgrade from Barry is too much. Delph is coming from League 1, so even if he is a prodigy, it'll take at least a season to adjust to actually talented players. Downing was the creative fulcrum for a team that finished 19th, so how is supposed to be a replacement for the creative fulcrum for the team that finished 6th? I just don't see it. City will obviously leapfrog them, Everton is still better and throw in a full season for Harry Houdini, and 8th it is for Villa.
Birmingham, Burnley
Biggest Strength They're happy to be here
Biggest Weakness Both of them will have trouble scoring.
X-Factor A Reading-esque first-year charge is always possible.
Achilles Heel Both teams don't seem particularly talented, and not well suited for life in the Premier League.
Prediction 17th, 18th
I'm lumping them together because I'm not going to bullshit you. I don't follow the Championship. I'll follow Ipswich Town this year, because I love Roy Keane and I'm from a town called Ipswich. But otherwise, I never care. I'll check some results, but really, I don't know anything. I looked at the transfers, and Birmingham's aren't bad, and considering they did finish 2nd, perhaps I'll give them the nod to get 17th instead of Burnley. Burnley didn't really seem to buy anyone, and they finished 6th in the Championship. I know the pundits are lauding their promotion, and really, good for them. I just don't see them not yo-yoing. Both could stay up considering the relative impotence of some other teams that are still in the Premier League (we really should have relegated 6 last year), and considering most of those teams didn't get better (or even got worse), I wouldn't be surprised to see both of these teams stay up. But for the record, Birmingham 17th, Burnley 18th.
Blackburn Rovers
Biggest Strength Strong, tough Allardyce defense
Biggest Weakness Weak, impotent Allardyce offense
X Factor Deranged fan may light himself on fire for pure entertainment value. These games are going to be boooooorrrrrring.
Achilles Heel They are the cheapest tickets in the Premiership for a reason. NO ONE WANTS TO WATCH THEM.
Prediction 11th
Sam Allardyce has always challenged football fans. He inevitably gets results. His Bolton teams finished 5th in back-to-back seasons and nearly got relegated when he left. He can take crap teams and turn them into mid-table mediocrity, and sometimes, even, a Europa League bid. So, you'd think, he'd be one of the most popular managers in England. But watching Sam Allardyce coach football is not enjoyable. His teams are not fun to watch, his games are not interesting, and even his own fans have trouble going to games. Is football for entertainment or results? It's an argument for another day, but considering Allardyce is managing Blackburn, it's really the only interesting thing I can talk about. They'll be decent, grind out results and finish 11th. Yawn.
Bolton Wanderers
Biggest Strength Megson is really just an Allardyce clone, so yet again, strong defense.
Biggest Weakness As you will see with many other previews, this doesn't seem to be a high-scoring year. They'll struggle for goals.
X Factor They are a young, improving side, and those always have a chance to break out.
Achilles Heel They are a young, improving side, and those always have a chance for implosion.
Prediction 16th
Bolton is more or less the team they were last year, and another year of experience should help them out. So, why are they still only 16th in my prediction? Simple put, who will be worse? I think Stoke's homefield advantage gives them too much compared to Bolton, Sunderland made some good signings and had a strong squad already and Blackburn will get a full year with Allardyce. There isn't the same underclass this year as there was last year, and that is a great thing. If Birmingham/Burnley can punch above their weight, we might actually see teams with ability fight over relegation, and maybe even win some games! I'm telling you, it could be fun. Bolton will probably stay safe though, and make into the escapee zone for another year.
Chelsea
Biggest Strength Great squad loaded with internationals, basically reads as an all-star team. Drogba is a top 5 striker, Lampard a top 5 CM and Cech is a top 10 keeper. Add into that mix a ton of great players and it's hard to point to one strength.
Biggest Weakness How will Chelsea deal with their new diamond formation? It restricts some of the width that made them powerful under Mourinho, and with Bosingwa and Cole already shaky on defending responsibilities, do you really want to encourage to spend more time charging the flanks?
X Factor Drogba-Anelka. It is a bizarre partnership, but Hiddink seemed to make it work. Can Ancelotti?
Achilles Heel Age. With it comes the slow decay of abilities and a proneness to injuries. It shouldn't really affect Chelsea too much, but it's the elephant in the room.
Prediction 3rd
If Chelsea ever has a year to win with this squad, it is this year. Manchester United have lost their best player and have a mess at the goalkeeper position, and Liverpool lost half of their dynamic midfield in Alonso. Chelsea have always been the unlikable team, and really, I'd much rather see Manchester win the 4th in a row then watch Drogba, Ballack, Terry and Cashley Cole wildly celebrate a Premiership title. On paper, there's nothing that should stop them. Their squad is great, their players are world class, but there always seems to be an obstacle that trips them up in the home stretch. I don't really foresee that changing either, as this is the same team they've trotted out for the past few seasons. I know Colin hates Malouda, but he really played well under Hiddink, and I'm curious if he can keep that up for Ancelotti. I've never seen a team be as manager-dependent as this one, and it's ironic, considering a team full of veteran stars should be the last one to be so suspectible to their leadership. For better or for worse, it's down to Ancelotti, and in his first year at least, I don't see him capturing the title.
Everton
Biggest strength The definition of a team effort, Moyes has really crafted a cohesive unit that is always better than the sum of its parts. Having the world's best goalkeeper helps too.
Biggest Weakness Lack of depth. They were ravaged by injuries last year, and if it weren't for Villa's implosion and Tottenham's sluggish start, could have missed out on Europe.
X Factor How do they fare without Lescott if he goes, and if he stays, will he be a locker room cancer?
Achilles Heel Injuries, injuries, injuries
Prediction 6th
Everton is really a great story. They are a team that plays as one, and always does better than it should based on the strength of themselves as a unit. Unfortunately, in the Premiership that only results in the Europa League and 5th placed finishes, but it is great in its own little way. Moyes is a world-class manager, and when I think of how no big four team has never tried to raid him, it always comes as a surprise. Outside of their famous snag of Anton Peterlin, the squad is unchanged. And while in normal circumstances, I could pick them to sneak into 4th against Arsenal, I just don't see that happening anymore. Wenger's next generation is starting to blossom, as evidenced by the form of Wilshere and Vela, and Manchester City built themselves a superteam overnight. The era of the small-budget club that wins with brains and guile are unfortunately going by the wayside, and within a few years there won't even be places in the Europa League for them. Everton should enjoy this golden age while it lasts, and themselves and Aston Villa may very well be the last true small-budget contenders in England.
Fulham
Biggest Strength You know they're a lot like Everton. Great manager, great team squad.
Biggest Weakness A little too-dependent on home form, and that is never a good thing. They're an awful road team.
X Factor Clint Dempsey had a monster second half last season, can he follow it up this year?
Achilles Heel The scored 39 goals in 38 matches. That's a very poor return and one that could create issues next season.
Prediction 9th
Fulham, the former stronghold of American soccer, now only has one regular player from the states, and he is slowly emerging as their best player. Clint Dempsey really stepped up once Bullard was transferred, and if he can follow it up with a full season of top-class football, he probably will be looking at bigger things than the cottage next summer. They have an unchanged side, just as Hodgson would like it, and while that settling may prove healthy, this is still a side that has trouble scoring goals. They can't rely on getting 0-0 draws all the time, and while Schwarzer is a great keeper, it's far too much pressure to put on the Aussie. Fulham really overachieved last season, and they get the fruits of their labor in the form of the Europa League. Hopefully it won't prove too distracting for the team, and they can stay a top-half team.
Hull City
Biggest Strength Newfound American support by getting Altidore?
Biggest Weakness Phil Brown
X Factor Whoever replaces Phil Brown as manager, and when.
Achilles Heel Phil Brown
Prediction 19th
Look, lets get this out of the way. I'm not a huge fan of Phil Brown. His singular quest to make his skin Hull Orange is rather disturbing, and his obsession with celebrity and media is pathetic. It's one thing if you're the manager of a newly promoted side who is sharing first place, but it's something altogether different when your squad gets 1 point from 12 matches. They really didn't add much (as much as I love Jozy) and considering how woeful they were last season, I don't see why that would change. I don't see where they are going to get goals from, and how is going to stop them shipping on the other end. The team was unmasked as a fraud early last season, and thats not changing anytime soon. If Brown gets replaced by somebody highly competent at some point early in the season, they have hope, but not much. I'd say 20th, but really, I like Jozy too much. 19th it is.
Liverpool
Biggest Strength Gerrard/Torres.
Biggest Weakness Depth, but now the fact that Aquilani will have to adjust to the English game in a title hunt is not exactly great either.
X Factor Aquilani is supposedly more of a goal-scoring threat than Alonso. Can he shoulder some of the goal-scoring burden off of the big 2?
Achilles Heel Lucas Leiva is still a regular squad member.
Prediction 1st (come on, did you expect something else?)
Ah the Scousers. Not as eventful a summer for them as the media would have you believe (Johnson, Aquilani in, Alonso, Arbeloa out), and considering they made a large defensive upgrade as well as remains-to-be-seen replacement of Alonso, and the fact that those transfers about equal out in value seems to be pretty good business for Liverpool. I was surprised by how little they got for Arbeloa, but I guess watching a player for every game may inflate his value just a tad. Glen Johnson is a high-quality back, and can contribute immediately, and I'm holding out hope for Aquilani. What it comes down to for Liverpool are two things: Keeping Gerrard/Torres healthy and incorporating Benayoun. Benayoun you ask? Benayoun was the only other person who kept us in the hunt for trophies last season, from a goal-scoring perspective. Kuyt is always dependable for work rate, but Benayoun provided brilliance from an unexpected source, and it would be a shame to have him languishing on the bench all season. He is a top-quality player, and if Rafa can figure out how to make him more involved, he could be the crux that swings the title back to Liverpool. Manchester United is weaker this season, and Liverpool must capitalize, and with smart management, I think they can.
Manchester City
Biggest Strength Staggering depth
Biggest Weakness No forthcoming rule change to allow 20 players a team.
X Factor Stephen Ireland was their best player last season, but he's not a big name, will he stay relevant in this galactico-like side?
Achilles Heel Can Sparky really keep all these egos in check?
Prediction 4th
Manchester City is making Chelsea look frugal. They have bought an absurdly large squad, and just recently remembered that you generally want a defense to accompany the offense. Simply put, they have too much talent. There are too many players here who can create breathtaking goals for them to fail. It is a top-quality side full of great players, and really, their biggest issue is finding enough space for them all. Critics say they don't have workers, but last I checked, their lineup included Gareth Barry and Carlos Tevez, so I'm going to have to go and disagree on that one. I think their best lineup will be Tevez/Adebayor up top with Robinho/Ireland/De Jong/Barry in the midfield. The worst kept secret is that Roque Santa Cruz had one good year and actually sucked last season, but don't tell Mark Hughes that. I'll wait to see when he realizes that and benches him. If Hughes is able to keep the egos in check, this team can challenge for the title, but I don't think they'll be able to do it this year. Instead, they'll have to settle for 4th. Not too shabby for the blue side of Manchester.
Manchester United
Biggest Strength Where do I start?
Biggest Weakness Cristiano's departure may lower international fandom from 3 billion to 2.95 billion
X Factor The young guys: Macheda/Welbeck. Can they deliver again this year?
Achilles Heel Rooney is inconsistent, though no one likes to mention it. Is he really the best bet for your generator of offense?
Prediction 2nd
Oh, Manchester United. Where to begin? They have the best living manager, one of the best defenses and the best youth development system in the world. They're a lock for the title right? Maybe not. Lets first start off with what has been Fergie's achilles heel as a manager: goalkeeper evaluation. He's had two periods of immense success, which happen to coincide with the two great goalies he has had: Peter Schmichael and Edwin van der Sar. With questions mounting about van der Sars's health, Ben Foster is waiting in the wings, and as we all saw in the charity shield, that is not an encouarging sign. Moving forward from there, the defense is all that it was last year, which is too say, remarkable. If van der Sar can come back in time, United won't ship a lot of goals. The midfield is where the new-look United is starting to take shape. Anderson has established himself with Carrick and Fletcher as the first-choice central midfielders, and all of them have immense quality. The wingers will have to prove themselves however. Nani on one wing has been something of an enigma in his time at Old Trafford, displaying dazzling skill but also poor decision-making and determination. Valencia was great at Wigan, but there is a different element to playing for a club like United, and we'll see if he can handle it. Suddenly, unlike in days past, the strikers are expected to score goals now too. Rooney has had consistency problems his whole career, and Berbatov has won over few fans in Stretford End. And Mickey Boy will have as much to prove as anyone, and who can say they're not looking forward to his match at Anfield? All in all, it's a Manchester United team that didn't win the title by much last year, and it came down to the wire. Their changes? Their goalies are less healthy, they brought in a new winger, and oh yeah, they sold the best player in the world. Ronny's departure will be deep as his midfield goals took pressure off the whole team, and before his emergence as a superstar, United were without the Premier League for half a decade. Will his departure spark a similar drought? Probably not, but just like my analysis, Manchester United this season is full of questions.
Portsmouth
Biggest Strength Lack of leadership means no chance for player mutiny
Biggest Weakness When I was making my fantasy team, the only striker listed for Portsmouth was David Nugent. Enough said.
X Factor You know, someone really rich could buy them.
Achilles Heel They aren't allowed to take a pass on this season.
Prediction 20th
Oh, Portsmouth. Rarely does a team do better when it ships its manager and all of their best players and replaces them with...nothing. If Portsmouth is bought soon, it'll probably be too late, as the club is now threadbare in terms of depth and quality, having only 18 outfield players. Hart is a great manager, and an amazing developer of talent, but even he will not be able to fix this mess. If bought, even by a spend-happy billionaire, Portsmouth will have to weather the first half of the season, which looks like it will not be particulary easy, or fun to watch. Portsmouth will probably finish above Hull City, who look absolutely woeful, but as I said before, I just can't bet against Jozy like that, so I give the joy of propping up the table to the south coast. It doesn't really matter, as both are going down hard anyways.
Stoke City
Biggest Strength Britannia Stadium has magical properties
Biggest Weakness When more than half your goals from someone not named James Beattie come from throw-ins, it may be a problem.
X Factor Can they stay as resilient at home?
Achilles Heel Behind hard-hitting defense and somewhat efficient offense, lies a large void of technical ability.
Prediction 13th
Tony Pulis puts Sam Allardyce to shame. He's making a hard-hitting team that people actually want to cheer for, if only because of their provincial nature. It's a team that swallow up anyone, as evidenced by two draws with Liverpool (that ultimately cost them the title). Pulis made great signings last January, with Beattie being the steal of that particular window. While the side has remained relatively unchanged, that does mean they'll have to rely on everything that kept them afloat last year. Their home form cannot falter, unless they suddenly want to start winning on the road. Beattie and Delap must provide offense again and the defense must hold firm. Pulis has never been relegated in his 18 seasons, and I don't see why that would change this one, but he can never take his eye off the 8-ball. There just isn't that big a margin of error.
Sunderland
Biggest Strength Steve Bruce and a new-look offense
Biggest Weakness Remember last time Darren Bent was unquestionably his team's best striker (Charlton Athletic-19th)
X Factor If Bent and Campbell can work well together, Sunderland can propel themselves to the top half of the league.
Achilles Heel This is a talented squad, but as was shown last year, not one full of heart and determination.
Prediction 12th
If only Roy Keane had lightened up a little bit. Maybe, just maybe, his team would begin responding again like they did in the Championship. Maybe he could take his rather talented squad and have them finish around mid-table again, gearing up for a Europa push in a year or two. But, alas, it was not meant to be. Keano left, and in his place came the incompetent Ricky Sbragia. Sunderland is still talented, and now with a good manager, the Wearside may begin to enjoy this newfound reversal of fortune of them being the higher-league club to rivals Newcastle. The additions of Bent and Campbell could help get some goals that the pouty Cisse was unable to provide last season, but as I stated, Bent being your main attacking option is no guarantee of success. He finished 4th in the league in goals, and his team finished 19th in standings. Frazier Campbell is an unproven player, and just because he came from Manchester United does not mean he's necessarily any good. After all, Fergie doesn't often let good players go (though, Giuseppe Rossi and Gerard Pique may disagree). Despite my misgivings of their new striking talent, this team does have far more to work with than most of the bottom half, and given their manager's experience in the top flight, should be rather safe from the drop, unlike last season, where only the sheer impotence of their rivals saved them.
Tottenham Hotspur
Biggest Strength Tons of attacking options, maybe too many, but still, a plethora of weapons are at Houdini's disposal.
Biggest Weakness Injury-prone backline could make them look like the Tottenham of the Berbatov years.
X Factor What do they play up top, and how soon can they find the effective formation?
Achilles Heel They have three strikers who all left previous clubs for a lack of playing time, how does Harry make them all happy, and oh yeah, they have Pavs too.
Prediction 7th
Spurs are looking like the spurs of yore. They are talented on the offensive end, and have their own slew of issues on the backline. They even brought back Defoe, Keane and Chimbonda. However, Harry will be tested in two critical departments. One, is how does he play all his strikers. Keane is his captain, and a big personality, but he seems to have settled on Crouch and Defoe. Does he give Keane his third transfer in a little over a year? Does he use a striker rotation policy? Redknapp was very happy with the Defoe/Crouch partnership at Portsmouth, and it is unlikely that he will want to shake it up too much, but as we all saw at Anfield, Robbie Keane reacts quite poorly to having his minutes trifled with. The Ledley King issue will always remain, but it is how newcomers Bassong, Naughton and Walker will fare that will probably decide Spurs' fate. If the newcomers are able to seemlessly incorporate themselves into the squad and be top contributors, Tottenham can spoil Everton or even Arsenal's party. While someone will be unhappy, whoever lines up at striker will be good, and should provide the goals they need. Their midfield is set. All Tottenham has to do is work out the kinks, for which Harry as shown a rather deft ability.
West Ham United
Biggest Strength Zola has proven to be a management whiz, and is bolstered by a solid backline
Biggest Weakness Financial issues always seem to manifest at the worst possible time.
X Factor No one relies on youth like Zola, and how they respond to a whole year in the spotlight will be telling.
Achilles Heel Very young squad + Increased expecations could equal disaster.
Prediction 10th
West Ham is a great story. Despite swirling financial turmoil, a playing legend took the reins of manager and led a young team to a respectable finish. I expect Zola and the kids to do just fine next year, it's just that I can't seem them replicating the same kind of success they had last season. First, young teams almost uniformly perform poorly when expectations are raised, but more importantly, financial turmoil wears down a team. Suddenly Gianfranco will be under pressure he didn't see before, and in January, don't be surprised to see some of his starlets get raided. Compared to the issues surrounding Portsmouth and Hull, it seems to be small potatoes at Upton Park. I think perhaps next season, not the forthcoming one, will be a breakout one, and for now, Zola and his kiddies just have to bid their time.
Wigan Athletic
Biggest Strength A strong backline remains despite something of a selloff
Biggest Weakness Since January, they've sold their three best players in Heskey, Palacios and Valencia.
X Factor Can Roberto Martinez replace Steve Bruce?
Achilles Heel Their new best player is probably Titus Bramble.
Prediction 15th
Wigan has been rather inspiring in how once they got the Premiership in 2005, they held on for dear life and haven't let go. They have had a history of selling their best players, and these past 8 months have been no different. Gone are Emilie Heskey, Wilson Palacios and Antonio Valencia, all three onto bigger and better things. It's one thing to replace a key player, it's an entirely different thing to replace 3. Wigan was in pole position for a Europa league spot even towards the latter half of last season, but their newly-deplted squad fell down to 11th. This year, they'll fall a little further. Wigan wasn't particularly interesting even with those talented players, and now it appears, it'll be even less so. Don't expect to see Wigan in the mix of things for Europa again, instead, they'll be a team slipping back into lower-mid table obscurity.
Wolverhampton Wanderers
Biggest Strength Luck of the Irish: Mick McCarthy and Kevin Doyle!
Biggest Weakness McCarthy doesn't have the world's best history with keeping teams up
X Factor They have a lot of new signings, how will they all gel?
Achilles Heel They're a championship team who signed players from championship-level teams. Will that be enough?
Prediction 14th
When it comes to teams I'm going to cheer for next year, Wolverhampton has be included. Besides their Irish element, they have an American keeper in Marcus Hahnemann! For those keeping track at home, that means there are currently 3 American goalies starting in England with a fourth backing up another American! Decent days for American footy. I really don't know a ton about Wolves, considering as I stated above, I never watch the Championship. I'm not going to pretend I have working knowledge of this team, and I'm just going to mention how McCarthy is a quality manager, Doyle is a quality striker and they seemed to have made some decent signings elsewhere. Combined with a squad that won the Championship rather handidly last season, it should be enough to keep them safe.
For those of you who need a recap, here is how my table looks:
1. Liverpool
2. Manchester United
3. Chelsea
4. Manchester City
5. Arsenal
6. Everton
7. Tottenham Hotspur
8. Aston Villa
9. Fulham
10. West Ham United
11. Blackburn Rovers
12. Sunderland
13. Stoke City
14. Wolverhampton Wanderers
15. Wigan Athletic
16. Bolton Wanderers
17. Birmingham
18. Burnley
19. Hull City
20. Portsmouth
There you go, there's my preview. It's like you don't even have to watch the season now, you know how it ends!
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