Well, that was an immensely entertaining first 60 minutes, followed by a rather pedestrian last 30. Lyon was the better team early, but Barca showed their quality throughout the entire match. A few random observations:
-Juninho is a less ugly Pau Gasol. And granted, basically every person is a less ugly Pau Gasol as he is perhaps the first example of reverse evolution. His first free kick was cheeky but Valdes really should have saved it. Otherwise, he's really not that useful outside of free kicks.
-Dani Alves is a great right-back, but based on what I've seen of him and what I've seen of Maicon, I'm really sick of hearing them compared as the two best right-backs. Maicon is the best right now, this isn't an argument. Maicon is constantly involved, spearheading Inter's attack and is seldom compromised defensively. Alves had some poor tackles, got beat a few times, wasn't as marauding as advertised and got a stupid yellow card in a match where the ref seemed to have stitched his pockets closed.
-Lyon has been harped for its defensive less-than-stalwart nature this season, but you have to give them immense credit in this match. While they were rather susceptible on set-pieces to a team that's not known for them, they were sterling at the back. The fact that you didn't know Henry wasn't playing for half the game and that Messi was seldom heard from, you have to give them credit. And while I do subscribe to the "Messi is the best player right now" fan club, I must say...
-Is Messi proving beatable? Or should I say, beat-upable? Just like Real Madrid, Lyon was able to put the clamps on Messi by just being overly physical with him at all times (Fabio Grosso mauled him all match). Granted, most clubs subscribe to this policy, but when you take top clubs, who have the talent and the stature, can you keep Messi out if you just keep on the ground all match? Something to look for in the second leg.
-Karim Benzema is a great target-man, but will never be a world-class striker. I know he's young, and immensely talented, but he lacked that otherworldly creative awareness that the greatest have. This was never more evident than when he kept his head down and tried to beat two defenders when he had a BEYOND wide-open Keita ready to make the match 2-0. Any top striker makes that pass, and until Benzema stops barreling towards goal on his own, he'll always have the goals but never the results.
-All in all, Barca showed why they are so terrifying tonight. They didn't play particularly well, their stars didn't shine and they still came left with a tie and an away goal, not to mention Eto'o early on came out of nowhere and hit the post on a fast break in a situation where it was unclear how he even got the ball (to be fair, Benzema repeated the same feat about 10 minutes later). Barca will cruise to a easy finish over Lyon in the Nou Camp, and Lyon will spend another simmering about how they don't do well in the Champions League.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
A Night of Draws
Well the results are in from Tuesday night's Champions League matchups and thus far only Arsenal have managed to edge out a win. Their night ended 1-0 over AS Roma. The other results, as I'm sure everyone has noted, were: Atletico Madrid 2 -2 FC Porto; Lyon 0-0 Barcelona; and a scoreless clash between the English and Italian giants of Manchester United and FC Internazionale, respectively.
The good news is that the games of leg 2 will be sure to explode with fireworks, as (barring lame away goals bs) winner takes all.
I cannot attempt to predict the outcomes of tomorrow's showdowns, but let me just give a plug for my #2 team in saying, "Go Liverpool!"
The good news is that the games of leg 2 will be sure to explode with fireworks, as (barring lame away goals bs) winner takes all.
I cannot attempt to predict the outcomes of tomorrow's showdowns, but let me just give a plug for my #2 team in saying, "Go Liverpool!"
Friday, February 13, 2009
A Celebration of Skill
Here's an older clip of just some ridiculous skill by none other than Juan Roman Riquelme. What a unique move, this is just ridiculous.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
5 Ways for the US to Improve
Great post by Scoops, and I'm really happy you pointed out Dempsey's complete apathy in the game tonight. Everyone I watched the game with was screaming at him the whole time, he really didn't have any care for being there. While this complete apathy would be somewhat understandable in our forthcoming match against El Salvador, I don't get how a huge game against Mexico doesn't get him the slightest bit excited. I can't say I really disagree with any of Scoops's observations or ratings, except while I would have given the same ratings to our central defending duo, I'd say they were much more inconsistent in terms of some great one-on-one play but also littered by some rather rookie mistakes. However, for a different angle, let's look at five things that need improvement if we want to improve on our 1-point showing from 2006.
Flanks and Width
You can't just buy talent with national teams the way you can with clubs, but we need to figure out our side play. Beasley was more impressive than I'm used to tonight, but he still was in no way phenomenal, and I wouldn't say the quality of his crosses was particularly high. Heath Pearce was horrible, I really don't see how he's our unquestioned first-choice at left back, and while Hejduk was electric on the right side, I just doubt the man's ability to stay fit. He doesn't have a horrible history with injuries, but he plays by throwing his body all over the place and is in the twilight of his career, and already got knocked tonight, so I can't say I'm fully comfortable with relying on a 34 year-old's ability to stay healthy. Dempsey was honestly painful to watch tonight, as he literally walked, maybe a light job once a while, around the pitch and really should have had two goals in the match. Demps and Beasley are fine, as Beasley was rusty and I pray Dempsey can care if it's on an international stage, but our left-back situation, and a solid replacement for Hejduk should he get injured, are increasingly worrisome
Strikers
I know everyone loves Brian Ching. He tries hard, he plays within himself and he gives it his all. But this is not a man who would start on a Championship club, so why should he start as the target-man for a country that aspires to make at least the final 16. Altidore looked awful tonight, so like my last complaint, there may be nothing Bradley can do here, but the fact is, we scored two goals in the 2006 World Cup, and one was an own-goal. How can we expect to get anywhere when we scored one actual goal, and that one goal was from a striker of immensely higher quality of the one we know have (and yes, I'm clearly referring to McBride). We'll see how this goes, but I think the best way to solve this if not through other strikers is through something that seems to be anathema to Bob Bradley.
Change in Formation
Look, I'm happy with the win. But I would never call it emphatic and I don't understand why anyone else would. We scored off a great set piece, but to be honest, by then Mexico should have been up 1-0 and they should have tied it again 1-1 in the 67th minute. I'd say we had more grit, but really, we also had more luck. Mexico for whatever reason collapses against us, and we use that to our advantage, but we were not clearly the better team. I think part of the problem is our formation, and the way we have our players situated. We send in so many crosses but who are sending them for? Donovan? Ching? These players aren't winning headers. We don't have McBride in the center anymore, so why do we insist on playing like we do? We should move Dempsey up top, maybe he'll give a shit then, and then have him supported by a combo of Donovan and Beasley, followed by a three man mid-field Kljestan, Bradley, and whoever, lets say Adu. We'll keep it on the ground and we'll have legitimately talented players up top trying to score goals. I just don't understand why we insist on playing like the team we were in 2006 with inferior personnel for that setup.
Improved Play from Youngsters
The young'uns need to step up here. The weakest players on the pitch were the inexperienced ones, and while that's expected to a degree, we're not a nation that has the liberty to fall back on a talented older generation while the younger one develops. Kljestan, and particularly Altidore, need to step up and make plays, and provide some sort of spark that other players aren't bringing. We know what we'll get out of the older players, and Prima Dempsey decides it worthy of his attention he can clearly create opportunities, so a lot of the responsiblity to create chances falls onto the younger players. It's a lot to ask of them, but to be honest, we don't have much of a choice. Altidore has hit a higher high just being signed by Villareal than most USMNT players will hit in their lifetime, and he has a talent level many of them just can't understand, and if we want to be elite, we need to shine.
Style
As much as it was entertaining, tonight was hideous. It was not a pretty game, there were many times where players were randomly smacking balls back and forth, and honestly some sequences were downright painful. The US plays ugly, this much is clear and while it's effective in CONCACAF, ugly doesn't win it all. We need some flair, some slick passing, someone who can easily beat another man to create the goalscoring opportunities we need to thrive. We drove forward frequently, but how often did you really feel like a goal was coming. The Bradley shot was out of nowhere, but by the same token, that Sanchez didn't save it was an abomination. We seem to really thrive on winning set-pieces and getting opportune mistakes from our opponents, and hoping Howard keeps his clean sheet. That's good and all, and we'll make World Cup after World Cup, but I just can't see us getting any real result in South Africa unless we're able to unlock defenses with something other than winning set-pieces and hoping for corners.
Flanks and Width
You can't just buy talent with national teams the way you can with clubs, but we need to figure out our side play. Beasley was more impressive than I'm used to tonight, but he still was in no way phenomenal, and I wouldn't say the quality of his crosses was particularly high. Heath Pearce was horrible, I really don't see how he's our unquestioned first-choice at left back, and while Hejduk was electric on the right side, I just doubt the man's ability to stay fit. He doesn't have a horrible history with injuries, but he plays by throwing his body all over the place and is in the twilight of his career, and already got knocked tonight, so I can't say I'm fully comfortable with relying on a 34 year-old's ability to stay healthy. Dempsey was honestly painful to watch tonight, as he literally walked, maybe a light job once a while, around the pitch and really should have had two goals in the match. Demps and Beasley are fine, as Beasley was rusty and I pray Dempsey can care if it's on an international stage, but our left-back situation, and a solid replacement for Hejduk should he get injured, are increasingly worrisome
Strikers
I know everyone loves Brian Ching. He tries hard, he plays within himself and he gives it his all. But this is not a man who would start on a Championship club, so why should he start as the target-man for a country that aspires to make at least the final 16. Altidore looked awful tonight, so like my last complaint, there may be nothing Bradley can do here, but the fact is, we scored two goals in the 2006 World Cup, and one was an own-goal. How can we expect to get anywhere when we scored one actual goal, and that one goal was from a striker of immensely higher quality of the one we know have (and yes, I'm clearly referring to McBride). We'll see how this goes, but I think the best way to solve this if not through other strikers is through something that seems to be anathema to Bob Bradley.
Change in Formation
Look, I'm happy with the win. But I would never call it emphatic and I don't understand why anyone else would. We scored off a great set piece, but to be honest, by then Mexico should have been up 1-0 and they should have tied it again 1-1 in the 67th minute. I'd say we had more grit, but really, we also had more luck. Mexico for whatever reason collapses against us, and we use that to our advantage, but we were not clearly the better team. I think part of the problem is our formation, and the way we have our players situated. We send in so many crosses but who are sending them for? Donovan? Ching? These players aren't winning headers. We don't have McBride in the center anymore, so why do we insist on playing like we do? We should move Dempsey up top, maybe he'll give a shit then, and then have him supported by a combo of Donovan and Beasley, followed by a three man mid-field Kljestan, Bradley, and whoever, lets say Adu. We'll keep it on the ground and we'll have legitimately talented players up top trying to score goals. I just don't understand why we insist on playing like the team we were in 2006 with inferior personnel for that setup.
Improved Play from Youngsters
The young'uns need to step up here. The weakest players on the pitch were the inexperienced ones, and while that's expected to a degree, we're not a nation that has the liberty to fall back on a talented older generation while the younger one develops. Kljestan, and particularly Altidore, need to step up and make plays, and provide some sort of spark that other players aren't bringing. We know what we'll get out of the older players, and Prima Dempsey decides it worthy of his attention he can clearly create opportunities, so a lot of the responsiblity to create chances falls onto the younger players. It's a lot to ask of them, but to be honest, we don't have much of a choice. Altidore has hit a higher high just being signed by Villareal than most USMNT players will hit in their lifetime, and he has a talent level many of them just can't understand, and if we want to be elite, we need to shine.
Style
As much as it was entertaining, tonight was hideous. It was not a pretty game, there were many times where players were randomly smacking balls back and forth, and honestly some sequences were downright painful. The US plays ugly, this much is clear and while it's effective in CONCACAF, ugly doesn't win it all. We need some flair, some slick passing, someone who can easily beat another man to create the goalscoring opportunities we need to thrive. We drove forward frequently, but how often did you really feel like a goal was coming. The Bradley shot was out of nowhere, but by the same token, that Sanchez didn't save it was an abomination. We seem to really thrive on winning set-pieces and getting opportune mistakes from our opponents, and hoping Howard keeps his clean sheet. That's good and all, and we'll make World Cup after World Cup, but I just can't see us getting any real result in South Africa unless we're able to unlock defenses with something other than winning set-pieces and hoping for corners.
Uncle Sam rises from the ashes of Columbus, victorious.
I hope, if you are reading this, that you got a chance to watch the United States handle the Mexicans this fine February evening. The game itself was not much to speak of (as my colleague Giblinho noted, "Two crap goals... typical US soccer." This is not far from truth. Perhaps the first US goal was legit (a fine ball in from Donovan off of a weak cross by Beasley led to Michael Bradley finishing from 3 feet out), however the second was abysmal keeping, which will no doubt be blamed on the torrential downpours in Ohio. Overall it was a sloppy affair, with few standout performances:
Howard, 8: Made some big saves, even after getting cleated by Raphael Marquez (another dirty Mexican, plying his dirty trade in the US...). Probably would have been man of the match had Bradley not scored twice. He worked hard and deserved the clean sheet.
Pierce, 4: Well, he got forward alright, but once he got there his distribution was appalling. He was the weakest man on the field for the US.
Bocanegra, 5: Honestly I hardly remember anything from him, which I guess for a defender is a good thing. No mistakes, no goals let in.
Gooch, 5: Nothing but solid defending from the oh-so-buff Oguchi Onyewu. Didn't do much anything going forward or really anything with the ball, but what can you ask from a CB?
Hejduk, 6: Got forward a la Pierce, but his distribution was much better. Also was fearless when going into challenges all night. Somehow he avoided getting carded on several questionable two-footed tackles. Also fought through a knee injury, picked up after a collision with Giovanni dos Santos.
Beasley, 6: Showed his speed and passing, all the while making a case for a starting spot back at Rangers. Honestly I do not watch the SPL so I have no idea how good he really is compared to the rest of Glasgow Rangers FC, but I have been surprised/disappointed that he has gotten so little playing time in Scotland.
Bradley, 7 (MotM): Played defensively for most of the match, came up with two goals that put the USA in the poll position to take 1st place in the Hexagonal. Really other than the goals he wasn't spectacular, but then again how can I not give him man of the match after a brace against Mexico?
Kljestian, 5: Not the Sacha I have come to know and love. He hasn't played much with the USMNT as of yet in his career, and it showed. He was not on the same page at all. But I'd give him time, after all he scored a hat-trick against Sweden.
Dempsey, 4: Couldn't have cared less about the game.
Donovan, 6: Great passing early on, created the first goal and contributed to the second. Kind of fell off as the second half went on, but a good job by the most hated man by Mexican fans.
Ching, 5: Typical Brian Ching- not a scoring threat, but didn't really mess much up. Decent job of holding the ball up.
That's all I got for y'all. Peace.
Howard, 8: Made some big saves, even after getting cleated by Raphael Marquez (another dirty Mexican, plying his dirty trade in the US...). Probably would have been man of the match had Bradley not scored twice. He worked hard and deserved the clean sheet.
Pierce, 4: Well, he got forward alright, but once he got there his distribution was appalling. He was the weakest man on the field for the US.
Bocanegra, 5: Honestly I hardly remember anything from him, which I guess for a defender is a good thing. No mistakes, no goals let in.
Gooch, 5: Nothing but solid defending from the oh-so-buff Oguchi Onyewu. Didn't do much anything going forward or really anything with the ball, but what can you ask from a CB?
Hejduk, 6: Got forward a la Pierce, but his distribution was much better. Also was fearless when going into challenges all night. Somehow he avoided getting carded on several questionable two-footed tackles. Also fought through a knee injury, picked up after a collision with Giovanni dos Santos.
Beasley, 6: Showed his speed and passing, all the while making a case for a starting spot back at Rangers. Honestly I do not watch the SPL so I have no idea how good he really is compared to the rest of Glasgow Rangers FC, but I have been surprised/disappointed that he has gotten so little playing time in Scotland.
Bradley, 7 (MotM): Played defensively for most of the match, came up with two goals that put the USA in the poll position to take 1st place in the Hexagonal. Really other than the goals he wasn't spectacular, but then again how can I not give him man of the match after a brace against Mexico?
Kljestian, 5: Not the Sacha I have come to know and love. He hasn't played much with the USMNT as of yet in his career, and it showed. He was not on the same page at all. But I'd give him time, after all he scored a hat-trick against Sweden.
Dempsey, 4: Couldn't have cared less about the game.
Donovan, 6: Great passing early on, created the first goal and contributed to the second. Kind of fell off as the second half went on, but a good job by the most hated man by Mexican fans.
Ching, 5: Typical Brian Ching- not a scoring threat, but didn't really mess much up. Decent job of holding the ball up.
That's all I got for y'all. Peace.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
The North London Derby, arguably the most heated rivalry in English football, never ceases to amaze me. In the time that I have followed the beautiful game, Tottenham have faced Arsenal 7 times, with a record of 1 win, 2 losses and 4 draws, with the only win being the unforgettable 5-1 triumph in the Carling Cup semis. What was remarkable about this most recent draw was the scoreline: 0-0. The aggregate score of the two previous meetings was 9-5 in favor of Tottenham- an average between the clubs of 7 goals per game. And then they come in with a 0-0? Que bizarro.
Some notes from the game:
1. Wilson Palacios looks like the best player on Tottenham's roster at the moment, and no I am not exaggerating. He was ridiculous today. Maybe I'm just a Tottenham fan who has been starved of great defensive performances all these years, but Palacios looked like a puma out there, and the ball was his prey. I see now what they mean when they say he "breaks up play well." They mean that he is really good at disrupting the opponent's passing game and overall flow. And to top off his defensive performace, he can pass AND shoot! I am very excited to see this man in a Lillywhite jersey in the future. Plus he hails from Honduras, a CONCACAF nation (represent, son!), and I just kind of always cheer for CONCACAF players in Europe.
2. Spurs miss Berba a lot. We looked good today with creating chances but man did we look bad when we tried to finish them. If only we had Berbatov still, we probably would have won today, cause honestly we missed 2 or 3 solid chances as well as a handful of half-chances. If only he would have been relegated to the practice squad at Man United and then sold back to us at 75%...
3. Eboue is a retard. I don't think this needs much more explanation, but in case you didn't see the game, he is a summary of Eboue's performace:
17': Eboue talks himself into a yellow card
28': Eboue scores, but it is dissallowed after he table-topped Woodgate in the box.
37': Eboue is sent off for kicking out at Luka Modric after play was called dead.
Arsenal probably could have won had they not played 63 minutes with 10-men. Tisk, tisk, Mr. Eboue.
4. Adel Taarabt can play with his head UP!! Usually when we see the French youngster, he literally stares at the ball when it is in his possession as he attempts to run through the entire defense. But today he was passing very well, he looked like (dare I say it) Ricky Kaka. Hopefully this continues, as he was very highly rated coming into Tottenham (dubbed "the next Zidane" by some in France).
It was a great game as far as nil-nil draws go.
The repurcussions of this game: Arsenal missed an opportunity to close the gap with Chelsea, while Tottenham continue to struggle to pull away from the relegation pack.
Some notes from the game:
1. Wilson Palacios looks like the best player on Tottenham's roster at the moment, and no I am not exaggerating. He was ridiculous today. Maybe I'm just a Tottenham fan who has been starved of great defensive performances all these years, but Palacios looked like a puma out there, and the ball was his prey. I see now what they mean when they say he "breaks up play well." They mean that he is really good at disrupting the opponent's passing game and overall flow. And to top off his defensive performace, he can pass AND shoot! I am very excited to see this man in a Lillywhite jersey in the future. Plus he hails from Honduras, a CONCACAF nation (represent, son!), and I just kind of always cheer for CONCACAF players in Europe.
2. Spurs miss Berba a lot. We looked good today with creating chances but man did we look bad when we tried to finish them. If only we had Berbatov still, we probably would have won today, cause honestly we missed 2 or 3 solid chances as well as a handful of half-chances. If only he would have been relegated to the practice squad at Man United and then sold back to us at 75%...
3. Eboue is a retard. I don't think this needs much more explanation, but in case you didn't see the game, he is a summary of Eboue's performace:
17': Eboue talks himself into a yellow card
28': Eboue scores, but it is dissallowed after he table-topped Woodgate in the box.
37': Eboue is sent off for kicking out at Luka Modric after play was called dead.
Arsenal probably could have won had they not played 63 minutes with 10-men. Tisk, tisk, Mr. Eboue.
4. Adel Taarabt can play with his head UP!! Usually when we see the French youngster, he literally stares at the ball when it is in his possession as he attempts to run through the entire defense. But today he was passing very well, he looked like (dare I say it) Ricky Kaka. Hopefully this continues, as he was very highly rated coming into Tottenham (dubbed "the next Zidane" by some in France).
It was a great game as far as nil-nil draws go.
The repurcussions of this game: Arsenal missed an opportunity to close the gap with Chelsea, while Tottenham continue to struggle to pull away from the relegation pack.
The North London Derby (Pre-game)
Allright y'all, get ready for some football action coming your way! That's right, its the North London Derby again today. Following up Giblinho's post about transfer season, I'm sure excited to see what lineups Wenger and Houdini throw on the pitch. Will Arsenal sport their newly acquired Andrei Arshavin? And, as Giblinho noted, how will Redknapp round out his front line, knowing how difficult it can be to establish good chemistry among players? One pro in this category is that he won't be dealing with fresh meat, as the return of Keane and Defoe bring back old faces and not new questions of strengths and weaknesses. Well now I'm just getting chatty, so lets get pumped for the game! I'm heading to The Lions here in Paris to catch the action, I suggest all of you flip on Setanta, Fox Soccer, or run to the nearest Irish Pub around and enjoy the DERBY!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
A Look Back At The Season (Transfer Season That Is)
Well, the transfer is officially shut, though apparently those sort of deadlines don't mean much in North London. Obviously, almost all of the transfer talk is of the eleventh hour of Andrei Arshavin, but in reality, I think he may be the most inconsequential big-name transfer to be made in the Premiership. In terms of real impact, I don't see Arsenal catching Villa with this latest signing, especially considering their respective coup of Emilie Heskey. But before I spoil anything, lets analyze what these moves realistically mean for each club.
Andrei Arshavin
Arsenal (Zenit St. Petersburg, Undisclosed)
Well, lets start with the big one shall we? Before we delve into this from every possible dramatic angle, lets just look at the technical aspect. Arsenal needed help in the "enforcer" department. The fact they trail Aston Villa is every Englishman's dream: a gutty, strong team full of hard-nosed players is five points clear of a team full of flighty foreigners who are upended by a strong breeze, and offer their greatest resistance to their own teammates (see Gallas, William). I don't think Arshavin changes that. He's a genius on the ball, and maybe a little over-hyped, but he'll still be a very effective attacking player in the Premier League. He succeeded at Euro08, and the only reason he hadn't left Russia sooner was the large sums of money he was getting from Zenit. However, I don't think Arshavin will help Arsenal in their fundamental quest for strength, and while much of the Arsenal attack has been rendered toothless by the injuries to Fabs, Walcott and Rosicky, I don't think Arshavin covers up enough holes, and I predict Arsenal still finishes fifth. In the long run, it's a good signing. While Wenger will have a crowded midfield for sure, a healthy Arsenal looks to be overflowing with talent. Fabs, Walcott, Adebayor, Van Persie, Nasri, Arshavin, Eduardo (he's on his way back!), Rosicky and lest our forget Wenger's Wonderboys coming up the ranks such as Jack Wilshere. The future is bright for Arsenal, but Andrei won't deliver them Champions League football this year, and in the long run, will probably be sold in a few years, being not as coveted as Wenger's own homegrown products, and effectively filling the same role around 20 other Arsenal players like to play.
Emilie Heskey
Aston Villa (Wigan Athletic, £3.5m)
Hmm, considering that Arsenal paid most likely 20m for a player they already have five of, spending 3.5m on a striker who is reliable and effective in the Premier League seems like quite good business. Liverpool was expecting to have Heskey fall into their laps for free this summer, but last time I checked, too good to be true applies equally to football as everything else. While Liverpool throws another 15m into the pot, a forceful forward who seems like he'd be a natural complement to Torres slips through the cracks. But regardless, this is not Liverpool's transfer, it is Villa's and congratulations to them. They are proven themselves to be amongst the best-run clubs in England, and when contrasted to the spend-happy and illogical Spurs, they seem like a much more likely candidate to upset the Big Four oligarchy that has ruled football for the much of this past decade, and with a few exceptions, most of the history of the Premier League. Heskey gives them a great goal-scorer who will fit into their no-frills mode of good football, and Emilie will be wearing Champions League patches on his shirts this autumn.
Ricardo Quaresma
Chelsea (Inter Milan, Loan)
Speed and stepovers, two S's that will give you infinite chances in football. Now, that's rather unfair on Quaresma, but at the end of the day, he has only played well in Portugal, and not even particularly for Portgual. And while many players can't replicate their club form for country (see England 1966-present), it's hard to be considered elite if they can't replicate their lower league form with the big boys. While he has shone in Porto and Benfica, he has flopped at Barca and Inter. Mourinho must have enough faith in him to not sell him, or maybe the right offer wasn't received. I can't say I can see him having a great impact with Chelsea. He failed to make an impact in La Liga and Serie A, why will he suddenly storm down the wings of the Premiership? And more so, if Jose Mourinho couldn't get anything out of him, how the hell will a man who has shown himself to be in every way his inferior in Scolari get anything out of him? There are too many question marks, and considering the pressure will be immense for a player who is historically not of the thickest skin, this may prove to be the last flop before Quaresma returns to Portugal for good.
Jermaine Defoe, Robbie Keane
Tottenham Hotspur (Portsmouth, £15m), (Liverpool, Undisclosed)
You might be wondering why I would place these two transfers, from different clubs and in different weeks, together. Well, they're the same transfer. And they'll have the same result as before. Thirteen months ago, these players were both playing for Tottenham, both left for a while and now both are back. I'd say both players shouldn't be blamed for wanting to transfer. Defoe wasn't getting playing time and still didn't even want to leave, but was sold when the club made it clear he was no longer needed. Keane got an offer from his dream club, and was given the chance at Trophies that aren't named Carling. Fast-forward a year, and Defoe was able to engineer his way back home, using his prolific form on the South coast into a doubling of his supposed transfer value (what recession?) and Keane is coming back to Tottenham with his tail between his legs, humbled by the "rotation" policy of Rafa that seemed to do a great job of rotating him out, but not a particularly good one of rotating him back in. The last year of both these players are worthy of their own articles, so I won't delve much further, but at the end of the day, we've seen this from Tottenham before. Keane and Defoe do not play well together, and this will not change considering their recent hiatuses from London. When you have two players who look like they're filming for Little People, Big World, you're in hot water. And of all teams to add an undersized player, Tottenham may be the worst. So now, 'Arry Houdini is going to have to figure out to play Bent, Pavs, Defoe and Keane. Hmmm, four strikers vying for two places? Defoe and Keane can't play together so one of them is inevitably going to be dropped, hopefully (for Tottenham's sake) one of them can strike up a partnership with Pavs or Bent (I'd bet Pavs and Keane), leading to two unhappy strikers languishing on the pine and fueling transfer speculation all over the club, and suddenly Tottenham is a mess of a clubhouse, trying to figure who can score goals and who they can make money on, and trying to keep themselves above water while they're on the back pages every day. God, that sounds awfully familiar doesn't it?
James Beattie
Stoke City (Sheffield United, £3.5m)
What a whirlwind career for Beattie, and while he is definitely Premiership quality, you have to say the former England International has had quite the wild ride. While I don't think Fabio Capello will be giving him a call anytime soon, he'll have all of Stoke in ecstasy as he, and fellow newcomer Etherington, keep Stoke City in the Premiership. Their home form is already enviable, and with a real goalscorer up front, their strong defensive style coupled with a few goals here and there will be more than enough to survive this 13 horse relegation race. Great business for Stoke, and while every year will be a challenge for this small club, the signing of Beattie is a great step towards making sure it's a challenge they'll have the opportunity to meet next year.
The Man City Boys
Shay Given (Newcastle United, £6m), Craig Bellamy (West Ham United, £14m), Nigel De Jong (Hamburg SV, Undisclosed)
So, the absolutely batshit crazy, the spend-crazy insane club that is Manchester City spent their entire transfer window threatening to throw entire nation's GDPs at players and ended up...making rather sensible moves at somewhat inflated prices. While the De Jong signing has been routinely mocked for his buyout clause, but considering what happened to Liverpool when they waited for a player, it's not as much of a joke anymore. 14 for Craig "Five Iron Frenzy" Bellamy is rather steep, but if they have the money, I'd say he's not much worse in quality than Defoe (though I'd assume MUCH worse for team chemistry, poor Riise ran all the way to Rome) so the deal isn't that bad. And Given is a steal at that price, which more than makes up for it. Given is one of the most underrated keepers in the world, as he kept two rather awful sides in Newcastle and Ireland in many matches they should be out of. I should note I mean no disrespect to my home nation, but when your team is full of headcases who can't handle a little jabbing (see Dunne, Richard) and then needs the full 90 minutes to beat San Marino 2-1, lets just say we could use a little shakeup. Back to City, and to be honest, these are all signings that will serve them well. If Bellamy is playing there in two years, I'll be shocked, but he gives them the goals for now and that's what they needed. If City can push into a place in Europe, that might be enough to show possible transfers that they're serious about becoming a top club. And when their Champions League days do eventually come, Given surely has the quality to still be there, and all I've seen of De Jong is encouraging, so he may survive as well. After spending a month profoundly mocked for their outlandish attempts at players who didn't even know Manchester had two premiership teams, it's rather ironic that they were able to have a very effective January, for today and tomorrow.
Jimmy Bullard
Hull City (Fulham, £5m)
A great move for everyone involved. Bullard was itching to move, and while Fulham doesn't need the money badly like some of the London neighbors, they were able to get a decent sum for him. And Hull City, desperate for anything to click after their amazing start, just got themselves a match-winning midfielder who has some experience in great escapes. Fulham looks rather safe right now, but then again, everyone was saying Hull City at the very least had insured their safety by October, and many many losses later it looks like they're in very hot water. Both sides don't look like they'll be world-beaters anytime soon, and relegation will be a legitimate fear for the foreseeable future, so while Fulham looks safe this year and Bullard may save Hull, Fulham could miss him quite dearly as soon as next year. Hull City will either get great performances from Bullard for years to come, or they'll hopefully ride him into another Premier League season and sell him for profit this summer. Win-win if you ask me.
The Real Madrid Boys
Klass-Jan Huntelaar (Ajax Amsterdam,€20m), Lassanna Diarra (Portsmouth, €20m), Julien Faubert (West Ham United, Loan)
Note: Not sure if any of those players are any of these three. Anyways, I have mixed feelings about these signings. Diarra is a world-class player, and we all knew from the moment he signed for Portsmouth that it would be short-lived. I think he'll be a real difference maker, and while Huntelaar is a class player, he might just be another Dutch player who is a goal machine in Holland but flames out in the big leagues. He's a poor man's Van Nistelrooy at best, and while most players would love to have that moniker, it's one he'll have to earn. I wasn't overly impressed with his international performances, and Michael Bradley ripped the Dutch league apart last year, so I'm reserving judgment for now. I think Faubert is just going to be a bench player, or at best be a non-negative. I just don't understand his hype, as a team that's fighting relegation didn't feel like he was an automatic choice. Maybe papers are slow in Madrid, as they were also chasing another player who would ride their pine in Jermaine Pennant. Don't expect Real to splash out the cash to keep him at the Bernabeu. Diarra will prove to be a great signing, and Huntelaar does have the ability to be a world-class poacher, but that's something that remains to be seen. All that's for sure is, this is a club that doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of catching Barca.
Carlo Cudicini
Tottenham Hotspur (Chelsea, Free)
Alright, well this is the last transfer I'll cover. Obviously there were other moves, Diouf switched one club in distress for another, and remained highly overrated throughout the entire process, and then there were plenty of players from lower leagues who moved their way up, but to be honest I don't know enough about them to accurately report. But enough about whom I'm not writing about, and more onto Carlo Cudicini. I've lambasted Tottenham for their rather dodgy transfer policies in the past, but I really can't say anything negative here. They have a shaky goalkeeper, who has weeks where he looks like Schmichael reincarnated (hyperbole) and others where he looks like he's training for hot potato with his kids that night. Cudicini is a world-class keeper, and is one of the stayovers from Chelsea's "two World Class players at every position" policy that Abramovich seems to have abandoned as of late (as a supporter of a club who claims to have title aspirations while having the useless Lucas as an often-used substitute, lets say I have little sympathy). Considering that Daniel Levy didn't even have to open his purse to buy him (which I'm sure was quite bizarre for the poor man, he must have burnt a hole in every pocket of every pant he owns). It very well may be Cudicini's saves and not Keane or Defoe's goals that keeps Tottenham in the top flight, and he is the type of keeper you can build a defense around. The wonder is how low-profile this move is compared to the far less consequential moves of Quaresma and Flaubert.
Andrei Arshavin
Arsenal (Zenit St. Petersburg, Undisclosed)
Well, lets start with the big one shall we? Before we delve into this from every possible dramatic angle, lets just look at the technical aspect. Arsenal needed help in the "enforcer" department. The fact they trail Aston Villa is every Englishman's dream: a gutty, strong team full of hard-nosed players is five points clear of a team full of flighty foreigners who are upended by a strong breeze, and offer their greatest resistance to their own teammates (see Gallas, William). I don't think Arshavin changes that. He's a genius on the ball, and maybe a little over-hyped, but he'll still be a very effective attacking player in the Premier League. He succeeded at Euro08, and the only reason he hadn't left Russia sooner was the large sums of money he was getting from Zenit. However, I don't think Arshavin will help Arsenal in their fundamental quest for strength, and while much of the Arsenal attack has been rendered toothless by the injuries to Fabs, Walcott and Rosicky, I don't think Arshavin covers up enough holes, and I predict Arsenal still finishes fifth. In the long run, it's a good signing. While Wenger will have a crowded midfield for sure, a healthy Arsenal looks to be overflowing with talent. Fabs, Walcott, Adebayor, Van Persie, Nasri, Arshavin, Eduardo (he's on his way back!), Rosicky and lest our forget Wenger's Wonderboys coming up the ranks such as Jack Wilshere. The future is bright for Arsenal, but Andrei won't deliver them Champions League football this year, and in the long run, will probably be sold in a few years, being not as coveted as Wenger's own homegrown products, and effectively filling the same role around 20 other Arsenal players like to play.
Emilie Heskey
Aston Villa (Wigan Athletic, £3.5m)
Hmm, considering that Arsenal paid most likely 20m for a player they already have five of, spending 3.5m on a striker who is reliable and effective in the Premier League seems like quite good business. Liverpool was expecting to have Heskey fall into their laps for free this summer, but last time I checked, too good to be true applies equally to football as everything else. While Liverpool throws another 15m into the pot, a forceful forward who seems like he'd be a natural complement to Torres slips through the cracks. But regardless, this is not Liverpool's transfer, it is Villa's and congratulations to them. They are proven themselves to be amongst the best-run clubs in England, and when contrasted to the spend-happy and illogical Spurs, they seem like a much more likely candidate to upset the Big Four oligarchy that has ruled football for the much of this past decade, and with a few exceptions, most of the history of the Premier League. Heskey gives them a great goal-scorer who will fit into their no-frills mode of good football, and Emilie will be wearing Champions League patches on his shirts this autumn.
Ricardo Quaresma
Chelsea (Inter Milan, Loan)
Speed and stepovers, two S's that will give you infinite chances in football. Now, that's rather unfair on Quaresma, but at the end of the day, he has only played well in Portugal, and not even particularly for Portgual. And while many players can't replicate their club form for country (see England 1966-present), it's hard to be considered elite if they can't replicate their lower league form with the big boys. While he has shone in Porto and Benfica, he has flopped at Barca and Inter. Mourinho must have enough faith in him to not sell him, or maybe the right offer wasn't received. I can't say I can see him having a great impact with Chelsea. He failed to make an impact in La Liga and Serie A, why will he suddenly storm down the wings of the Premiership? And more so, if Jose Mourinho couldn't get anything out of him, how the hell will a man who has shown himself to be in every way his inferior in Scolari get anything out of him? There are too many question marks, and considering the pressure will be immense for a player who is historically not of the thickest skin, this may prove to be the last flop before Quaresma returns to Portugal for good.
Jermaine Defoe, Robbie Keane
Tottenham Hotspur (Portsmouth, £15m), (Liverpool, Undisclosed)
You might be wondering why I would place these two transfers, from different clubs and in different weeks, together. Well, they're the same transfer. And they'll have the same result as before. Thirteen months ago, these players were both playing for Tottenham, both left for a while and now both are back. I'd say both players shouldn't be blamed for wanting to transfer. Defoe wasn't getting playing time and still didn't even want to leave, but was sold when the club made it clear he was no longer needed. Keane got an offer from his dream club, and was given the chance at Trophies that aren't named Carling. Fast-forward a year, and Defoe was able to engineer his way back home, using his prolific form on the South coast into a doubling of his supposed transfer value (what recession?) and Keane is coming back to Tottenham with his tail between his legs, humbled by the "rotation" policy of Rafa that seemed to do a great job of rotating him out, but not a particularly good one of rotating him back in. The last year of both these players are worthy of their own articles, so I won't delve much further, but at the end of the day, we've seen this from Tottenham before. Keane and Defoe do not play well together, and this will not change considering their recent hiatuses from London. When you have two players who look like they're filming for Little People, Big World, you're in hot water. And of all teams to add an undersized player, Tottenham may be the worst. So now, 'Arry Houdini is going to have to figure out to play Bent, Pavs, Defoe and Keane. Hmmm, four strikers vying for two places? Defoe and Keane can't play together so one of them is inevitably going to be dropped, hopefully (for Tottenham's sake) one of them can strike up a partnership with Pavs or Bent (I'd bet Pavs and Keane), leading to two unhappy strikers languishing on the pine and fueling transfer speculation all over the club, and suddenly Tottenham is a mess of a clubhouse, trying to figure who can score goals and who they can make money on, and trying to keep themselves above water while they're on the back pages every day. God, that sounds awfully familiar doesn't it?
James Beattie
Stoke City (Sheffield United, £3.5m)
What a whirlwind career for Beattie, and while he is definitely Premiership quality, you have to say the former England International has had quite the wild ride. While I don't think Fabio Capello will be giving him a call anytime soon, he'll have all of Stoke in ecstasy as he, and fellow newcomer Etherington, keep Stoke City in the Premiership. Their home form is already enviable, and with a real goalscorer up front, their strong defensive style coupled with a few goals here and there will be more than enough to survive this 13 horse relegation race. Great business for Stoke, and while every year will be a challenge for this small club, the signing of Beattie is a great step towards making sure it's a challenge they'll have the opportunity to meet next year.
The Man City Boys
Shay Given (Newcastle United, £6m), Craig Bellamy (West Ham United, £14m), Nigel De Jong (Hamburg SV, Undisclosed)
So, the absolutely batshit crazy, the spend-crazy insane club that is Manchester City spent their entire transfer window threatening to throw entire nation's GDPs at players and ended up...making rather sensible moves at somewhat inflated prices. While the De Jong signing has been routinely mocked for his buyout clause, but considering what happened to Liverpool when they waited for a player, it's not as much of a joke anymore. 14 for Craig "Five Iron Frenzy" Bellamy is rather steep, but if they have the money, I'd say he's not much worse in quality than Defoe (though I'd assume MUCH worse for team chemistry, poor Riise ran all the way to Rome) so the deal isn't that bad. And Given is a steal at that price, which more than makes up for it. Given is one of the most underrated keepers in the world, as he kept two rather awful sides in Newcastle and Ireland in many matches they should be out of. I should note I mean no disrespect to my home nation, but when your team is full of headcases who can't handle a little jabbing (see Dunne, Richard) and then needs the full 90 minutes to beat San Marino 2-1, lets just say we could use a little shakeup. Back to City, and to be honest, these are all signings that will serve them well. If Bellamy is playing there in two years, I'll be shocked, but he gives them the goals for now and that's what they needed. If City can push into a place in Europe, that might be enough to show possible transfers that they're serious about becoming a top club. And when their Champions League days do eventually come, Given surely has the quality to still be there, and all I've seen of De Jong is encouraging, so he may survive as well. After spending a month profoundly mocked for their outlandish attempts at players who didn't even know Manchester had two premiership teams, it's rather ironic that they were able to have a very effective January, for today and tomorrow.
Jimmy Bullard
Hull City (Fulham, £5m)
A great move for everyone involved. Bullard was itching to move, and while Fulham doesn't need the money badly like some of the London neighbors, they were able to get a decent sum for him. And Hull City, desperate for anything to click after their amazing start, just got themselves a match-winning midfielder who has some experience in great escapes. Fulham looks rather safe right now, but then again, everyone was saying Hull City at the very least had insured their safety by October, and many many losses later it looks like they're in very hot water. Both sides don't look like they'll be world-beaters anytime soon, and relegation will be a legitimate fear for the foreseeable future, so while Fulham looks safe this year and Bullard may save Hull, Fulham could miss him quite dearly as soon as next year. Hull City will either get great performances from Bullard for years to come, or they'll hopefully ride him into another Premier League season and sell him for profit this summer. Win-win if you ask me.
The Real Madrid Boys
Klass-Jan Huntelaar (Ajax Amsterdam,€20m), Lassanna Diarra (Portsmouth, €20m), Julien Faubert (West Ham United, Loan)
Note: Not sure if any of those players are any of these three. Anyways, I have mixed feelings about these signings. Diarra is a world-class player, and we all knew from the moment he signed for Portsmouth that it would be short-lived. I think he'll be a real difference maker, and while Huntelaar is a class player, he might just be another Dutch player who is a goal machine in Holland but flames out in the big leagues. He's a poor man's Van Nistelrooy at best, and while most players would love to have that moniker, it's one he'll have to earn. I wasn't overly impressed with his international performances, and Michael Bradley ripped the Dutch league apart last year, so I'm reserving judgment for now. I think Faubert is just going to be a bench player, or at best be a non-negative. I just don't understand his hype, as a team that's fighting relegation didn't feel like he was an automatic choice. Maybe papers are slow in Madrid, as they were also chasing another player who would ride their pine in Jermaine Pennant. Don't expect Real to splash out the cash to keep him at the Bernabeu. Diarra will prove to be a great signing, and Huntelaar does have the ability to be a world-class poacher, but that's something that remains to be seen. All that's for sure is, this is a club that doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of catching Barca.
Carlo Cudicini
Tottenham Hotspur (Chelsea, Free)
Alright, well this is the last transfer I'll cover. Obviously there were other moves, Diouf switched one club in distress for another, and remained highly overrated throughout the entire process, and then there were plenty of players from lower leagues who moved their way up, but to be honest I don't know enough about them to accurately report. But enough about whom I'm not writing about, and more onto Carlo Cudicini. I've lambasted Tottenham for their rather dodgy transfer policies in the past, but I really can't say anything negative here. They have a shaky goalkeeper, who has weeks where he looks like Schmichael reincarnated (hyperbole) and others where he looks like he's training for hot potato with his kids that night. Cudicini is a world-class keeper, and is one of the stayovers from Chelsea's "two World Class players at every position" policy that Abramovich seems to have abandoned as of late (as a supporter of a club who claims to have title aspirations while having the useless Lucas as an often-used substitute, lets say I have little sympathy). Considering that Daniel Levy didn't even have to open his purse to buy him (which I'm sure was quite bizarre for the poor man, he must have burnt a hole in every pocket of every pant he owns). It very well may be Cudicini's saves and not Keane or Defoe's goals that keeps Tottenham in the top flight, and he is the type of keeper you can build a defense around. The wonder is how low-profile this move is compared to the far less consequential moves of Quaresma and Flaubert.
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