Chads United

The return of Scoops Callahan

2011-09-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

My fellow Americans,

I'm here because I want to discuss something. That thing is the USMNT.

With Jurgen looking to shake things up from the old guard-- switching to a more attacking style of play while mixing in some "Latin flair," as he calls it-- our starting XI set to be in a state of flux for the next few months (we probably won't know his preferred XI until our first WCQ matches).

Giblinho, my friend and colleague, pointed out to me during last night's 0-1 loss to Costa Rica (USA's bogey team?) that we have an embarassment of riches in the midfield, and an embarassment of poverty in defense and attack. So I got to thinking, could we just construct an outfield team of all midfielders?

The answer, my friends, is yes:

Howard

Chandler Edu Clark Johnson

Holden Torres Bradley Shea

Dempsey Donovan

Subs: Guzan, Jones, Adu, Bedoya, Feilhaber, Kljestan, Diskerud

Timmy Chandler is generally labeled as a RM and a RB, so he makes the cut, as does Fabian Johnson at LB. Johnson has yet to nail down one specific position at village club Hoffenheim, but he has featured both in midfield and defense, specifically in the USA's problem position of LB.

Maurice Edu and Ricardo Clark are both converted DCMs, however both have had experience in the center of defense. Clark has recently been deployed as a center-back by his Frankfurt employers, while Edu at least once played as a center-back for the US against the Czechs. He wasn't particularly impressive, which makes this the biggest stretch on the list, but would he be any worse than Orozco?

Stuart Holden is forced outside simply because of his versatility. He has far greater ability to play inside but Jose Torres needs to occupy that central playmaker spot in which he excelled vs Costa Rica, while Michael Bradley will play the hardworking, defensive role he often occupied earlier in his career. At LM, Brek Shea is clearly at home and should be considered undroppable at this point.

Clint Dempsey and Landon Donovan up top is something I have always wanted to see (I'm not aware of any past US game where we have experimented with this pairing). Back in the day, Donovan was a speedy striker who made a legitimate impact in South Korea 2002. He still has that breakaway speed, though whether or not he'd be effective as a striker , I don't know. Dempsey up top is nothing new, as Bob Bradley often shifted him forward towards the end of matches over the last cycle. But would pairing him with a short, speedy forward with an eye to pass in Donovan be as effective as with a bigger Jozy Altidore?

I'm well aware this is not our most effective line-up. I just wanted to point out that it is kind of amazing how many quality midfielders we have, especially when compared to our forwards and defenders-- that's 15 listed here (I refuse to include Ricardo Clark as a "quality" midfielder), and arguments could be made for Beckerman, Pontius, Rogers, and Beasley. With all of them fighting for 4, maybe 5 spots, that's an awful lot of unhappy contenders.

I don't know what this is down to, really. You could say that the US's general lack of technique/foot skill explains the lack of forwards, which is probably true. But then how do you explain the dearth of quality defenders, a position in which foot skills are the least important? Shouldn't our country's emphasis on athleticism provide players who can make a read on defense, and react accordingly? This is the one thing that has always baffled me-- the US theoretically should have a plethora of rock solid defenders-- strong safeties and small forwards converted into no nonsense centerbacks. But the truth is that we just don't have them.

Until the day that we do have plenty of solid options at CB and FW, maybe Jurgy ought to look at spreading out our midfield talent into other areas of the pitch.

Game of the Week Live Diary: Manchester United vs. Tottenham Hotspur

2011-08-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

Ah the Game of the Week running diary! If you’re wondering why this clash is the game of the week over say Arsenal Liverpool, it’s because I didn’t have to get up at 745 for this one. Speaking of which, Arsenal for the drop? I’m only joking….sort of. Anyways, I’m all set up and ready to go, coffee in hand, sprawled out on the couch. All times are EST so don’t bitch about time zone differences.

255: ESPN2 starting up the coverage. Ten minutes of pregame? YOU SPOIL ME.

255: OK, I have a small amount of guilt that I am totally focused on a football match when Gadhafi’ reign in Libya is literally crumbling as I write this, but CNN is sounding like ESPN in the two week’s prior to the Superbowl. There’s only so many ways you can say the same things. Gadhafi was a horrible dictator, his reign is crumbling, rebels have Tripoli, we don’t know where he is. This has literally been repeated 80 times an hour by every CNN journalist they can get their hands on. I have already had a good two hours of coverage today and I feel no guilt about turning away now.

255: Starting Lineups

United:
----------------De Gea----------------
Smalling-----Jones----Evans----Evra
Nani----Cleverley----Anderson----Young
-----Welbeck------Rooney-------

Tottenham:
------------Friedel-----------------
Walker---Dawson---Kaboul---Assou-Ekotto
Lennon----Krancjar----Livermore----Bale
---------------Van der Vaart-----------
---------------Defoe-----------------

OK, all of this is done while it is happening. If anything is edited, it will simply be my grammar because I don’t want to look like an idiot on a site that is all about me writing stuff. Anyways, pretty young from both sides. United’s defense is pretty devastated right now so this is what I’d expect, but Jones is very dependable and Smalling isn’t that bad. Evans I don’t have a ton of faith in as he commits a lot of shithouse tackles so we’ll see how that goes. That’s a terrifying offense though, Nani and Young have to be the best winger combo in the premiership and if they’re not, it’s Lennon and Bale. So expect long evenings for fullbacks on both sides. I think Carrick being supplanted by Cleverley is a permanent move, as he was pretty impressive last week. On Tottenham’s side, typical defense arrangement and interesting to see Friedel is already first-choice, you’d have to imagine Gomes will have to pursue a move elsewhere. The rest of the team is pretty expected, except Livermore whom I know nothing about but made Colin very upset and sad when I texted him that he was starting. So, we’ll see how that works out. No Crouch or Pavs, and just one striker, is a pretty telling lineup for Spurs.

257: Showing all the pregame walk-ins. Old Trafford is packed. Can’t believe United hasn’t lost in the last 20 league matches against Tottenham.

259: Interesting bench players. Berbatov still on the bench, Chicharito on the bench (whom I’d have to assume you’ll see come in). Crouch isn’t even on the bench, neither is Modric and seeing as Modric refused to play, it appears he’s gone and maybe Crouch is definitely gone too.

300: OK 5 minutes of pregame I was wrong. 20 seconds and already a chance for united, well saved by Kaboul, bad defending by Walker on Young.

2’: Awful ball by VDV that almost sets up a goal for Rooney, sloppy by spurs to start.

4’: Anderson and Young attack Walker, United appears to be targeting him and it appears to be working.

5’: Evans kinda looks like a scared kid afraid to fuck up when he has the ball, just gave up and kicked it back to De Gea

7’: Great ball by Walker to Bale but well defended

8’: Great shot by Cleverley from about 25m out, excellent save by Friedel, corner for United

8’: Anderson gives one of the world’s shittiest corners straight to Assou-Ekotto

11’: Krancjar gives it away. He’s had a few bad passes, but he’s like a striker who misses a few sitters than scores a wonderstrike.

12’: Holy crap what a good ball by Jones for Young down the left flank, well defended by Kaboul.

13’: De Gea just tried to beat VDV with the ball, almost gave up a goal but VDV fouled him. Absolute insanity. De Gea might be too cool to play football well, he’s playing so casually that I feel like this will absolutely bite him in the ass.

16’: Nice little run by Bale snuffed out by Jones, looked a foul but nothing called. Dracula laid on the ground for a little bit but seems fine.

17’: And a no-call on a foul on VDV, Old Trafford rules in effect.

20’: Even possession so far and the game has been even. No team has had any great chances but it’s been a decent attacking game thus far. No real identity yet to either team.

21’: Deflected shot by Dracula well-saved by De Gea.

22’: Another great cross by Nani goes wanting by no United players in the right position, really missing Chicharito right now. Neither Rooney nor Welbeck has that same poacher’s instinct.

25’: An outrageous lob attempt by VDV, that guy tries some seriously crazy shit. Granted he was alone up there and it was his only option but yeah he has been off-on so far.

27’: It’s really interesting how much Nani and Young completely switch sides on the pitch, it’s such a luxury to have such skilled two-footed wingers. God I hate this team.

28’: Great lob pass from Rooney to Young, misses the post by about 4 inches. United looking more dangerous.

29’: VDV with an awful corner that never gets in bounds. OK I’m taking the “on” part of his evaluation now. He’s been pretty shit.

30’: Young is really making this a long night for Walker, just chapeau’d the shit out of him. I think he’s done well (Walker) but that’s definitely the more active flank and it’s hard to keep Young and Evra out for that long.

34’: Livermore does well to win the ball back after losing it. He has not looked that bad, definitely not as bad Colin feared.

36’: I’ve always thought it, but Ashley Young looks a lot like Marlo Stanfield from The Wire. If you haven’t seen it, you should it’s the best show ever on television. Makes Ashley Young far more intimidating in my eyes.

I didn't make this, so clearly I'm not the first to think this.

37’: First yellow of the game, it’s for Jonny Evans but I was looking up Marlo Stanfield pictures so I missed it. My bad. Followed up by a free kick that’s easily snuffed out by Welbeck.

39’: Young and Dawson have a pretty nasty collision. Dawson down for a few moments and gets a yellow while Young stays down for awhile. Basically Dawson steamrolled Young after he had gotten rid of the ball. Not malicious just Young was too fast for him. Young still down and looking injured, like all of my fantasy team. My team is cursed so I should probably just transfer all of my Liverpool players just in case.

43’: Typical VDV. Played liked shit all game and nearly scores a fantastic goal on a quick turn on the edge of the box.

43’: Just found out two things. One, John Obi Mikel’s father has been found unharmed and that’s great news. I can’t even imagine how awful that situation must have been for him. Two, Kyrgiakos has transferred to Wolfsburg from Liverpool. If you don’t know Soto, he was the crazy Greek guy with the big hair who we signed for like 700k back when we had no money and I loved this dude. Not a good defender but he tried hard and was always entertaining. Scored a few great goals too. So YNWA Soto and best of luck at Wolfsburg.

45’: Big argument between Kaboul and Nani. Nani is such a punk that I have to assume he is wrong. But looking at it, Kaboul is kinda being a bitch here. Basically Nani clipped him slightly on the foot going for the ball. Both were fine and the game continued but Kaboul pulled him aside to have a little hissy fit.

45’+2: Defoe has acres of space and takes an open shot and….misses and scuffs it. Ah well.

FIRST HALF THOUGHTS:
Well, for a game with so much space and so much open play, there hasn’t been one amazing chance. There has been plenty of good shots from half-chances that came close. Great defense on both sides, particularly by Jones and Kaboul for the respective teams. VDV has been rather anonymous, while Welbeck and Rooney haven’t been anonymous but haven’t really impacted the game strongly with the notable exception of a couple good passes from Rooney. Young and Nani have been influential but with no end-product, while Lennon and Bale have been active but not to the same degree. As I said, I thought Walker was being targeted to a degree, but he has held up well but also because Dawson and Kaboul have provided excellent cover. I’m not totally surprised by the lack of goals because frankly the final third has been very disappointing for both teams. Friedel’s save on Cleverley was really the only true action either keeper has seen, with the rest being routine. Here’s to hoping the game opens up in the second half.

Start of the second half:
First off, I may be the world’s greatest Angry Birds player. Has any game spawned this feeling more? Everyone feels like he is fucking Zeus with this game. Someone has finally made the video game equivalent of the cult of self esteem. Now everyone is a boss because they fling some birds and wreck some pig’s poorly constructed hideout. Also, aren’t the birds suicide bombers? A little fucked up if you ask me.

45’: Corluka replacing Kyle Walker. Can’t say I’m surprised, Walker was being assaulted all night and you need more experience there.

48’: Young alone in front of Friedel but drilled right at him. Great buildup play despite a blatant handball by Cleverley. Good start for United.

48’: Darke just made the exact comment from earlier in the game with a different player. Earlier “Niko Krancjar is one of the rare Tottenham players who knows what’s it like to win at Old Trafford, he did it with Portsmouth.” Replace NIko Krancjar with
Brad Friedel and Portsmouth with Aston Villa and that’s what he just said.

49’: Bad ball by Cleverley ruins a promising attack.

50’: Dracula takes a shitty shot instead of releasing Defoe, this game has really picked up. Already very exciting.

50’: HOLY FUCK. Lennon has days of time alone on the touchline in the box but for whatever reason does not pass to a WIDE OPEN VDV in front of goal. Eventually just blasts it off of Evans. Terrible and Darke and McManaman use it as an example of why he doesn’t play for England. Ouch.

51’: VDV would literally kill a child right now and not just because he’s a gypsy.
Just screaming into his jersey.

52’: Still can’t believe that fuck-up. Wow.

55’: Smalling just owned Assou-Ekotto but a bad cross as an end result.

57’: FK for United, Young looks to whip it in to the box from the left side, and nevermind it’s an awful ball.

58’: Damn, Marlo one-times a volley from a flick-on header by Welbeck but just a bit high.

59’: A foul against VDV and he is completely pissed off right now. I don’t know if he’s the type of player who plays better in that mindset, but you’d have to hope he is. Just took a shot from a good 40m out and shockingly enough does not trouble De Gea with it.

60’: I think VDV reminds me somewhat of a less-talented but harder-working Arshavin, which is actually a huge compliment. I think Arshavin is one of the most talented players on the planet but he is a lazy fuck, wait hold that thought.

61’: GOAL GOAL GOAL DANNY WELBECK. A great cross by Cleverley which Welbeck turns into the far corner. NO chance for Friedel. Just a classic goal. You can’t say it wasn’t coming.

And OK, back to Arshavin/VDV. I like both players a lot, but I like VDV more because I do think he is supremely talented, just not to the same degree as Arshavin. But because he works hard unlike Arshavin, he is a much more effective player. But both players can go anonymous for awhile before doing something amazing, it’s just VDV works for it while Arshavin can miss whole games from anonymity. VDV is always battling to get back into the game, it’s just his style of play isn’t stamped on the game for the whole match but he makes up for it with his numerous moments of brilliance.

64’: Foul by Krancjar on Evra JUST outside of the box, direct FK.

65’: Young bitched about the wall position. Rooney places it PERFECTLY but an absolutely amazing save by Friedel. He has been fantastic this game, Gomes better get used to the bench.

66’: Decent long distance shot by Rooney, all United now looking bad for Spurs.

67’: Jones took a run all the way to the opposite box, love his attacking verve for a center-back.

68’: Welbeck tries a bicycle kick but straight into Friedel, Berbatov is another person who should get used to a bench.

70’: Evans volley saved by Friedel, other than spilling out a bad Nani shot a couple minutes ago, simply flawless by him so far.

71’: Huddlestone and Pavs warming up to come on for Spurs. I’d guess Defoe and Livermore off? Or Krancjar and Livermore and move VDV a little further back. Spurs have looked flat and they need the change or the game is going to be real over real soon. It’s interesting to note that they simply look tired and maybe the week off/not proper training in the preseason is hurting them here. Mind you, I have no clue what they did in the off/preseason but they really just look beat. Defoe just gave the ball away in a promising attack (73’)

73’: ESPN bottomline talking about Albert Haynesworth’s “misdemeanor sexual assault.” How is sexual assault ever a misdemeanor?

74’: Subs time, Krancjar out for Pavs, Livermore out for Huddlestone, so I see that my VDV further back behind Pavs and Defoe was the correct guess. I’d assume they’ll play like a 4-1-2-1-2 with VDV in the hole behind the strikers and Huddlestone in the CDM role.

76’: Good play by Spurs in the final third but no end result, also Corluka is playing absurdly far forward.

76’: GOAL GOAL GOAL ANDERSON. Another really well-worked goal by United. Rooney to Anderson who played a give and go with Welbeck who played a brilliant backheel that left Anderson alone in front of goal and he made no mistake. Welbeck is the real deal, nevermind Berbatov Rooney and Chicharito have to watch their places.

78’: Welbeck plays Nani right in front of goal but he’s closed down by Friedel and has no chance.

78’: Best chance for Spurs yet, crossed in by Corluka, Pavs keeps it alive and with De Gea completely missing the ball Defoe tries to one-time it in but hits the woodwork. Not encouraging by De Gea but Spurs should have probably scored there. That might be it for them to get a result here.

80’: Fantastic tackle by Kaboul on Welbeck he has been impressive.

80’: Giggs, Chicharito and Park are all warming up to come on for a probable triple sub.

81’: And here it is, those three on, Welbeck, Cleverley and Young off. Standing ovation for Welbeck and well-deserved he has been fantastic. Now here’s to hoping Chicharito scores so I get some fantasy points (or VDV).

83’: Terrible ball by VDV straight into Anderson, VDV has completely checked out of this game.

83’: Terrific cross by Nani that both Chicharito and Rooney should have finished but no one gets a touch on it.

84’: God I forgot how huge Huddlestone is how does that man play professional football?

85’: Play is getting real sloppy by Spurs, this mental checking-out can’t be encouraging for the campaign. Nani plays a ball a bit too far for Rooney otherwise it was a goal.

85’: A couple long shots from VDV that both go straight at De Gea.

87’: GOAL GOAL GOAL ROONEY. Well that does it. Another cross, this time by Giggs, straight to Rooney who simply heads in from 3 yards out. Just poor defending, United could walk it in if they wanted to now.

89’: Brilliant set-up pass by Pavs to VDV but he takes a ridiculous one time shot instead of taking a touch or two. Just wasteful, Spurs just want to leave.

90+1’: Rather bullshit yellow card for Defoe. De Gea spills outs a long range Huddlestone effort and tries to finish it as De Gea jumps back on it. Thought it was pretty fair on both parts, overreacting by United though I guess no one likes to see their goalie kicked.

90+3': And that's game!

Thoughts:
Well, United looked great. That's the biggest takeaway. They looked absolutely excellent. There only drawback....yes De Gea. I hate to pile on this guy but he just did not inspire any confidence. He was weak on crosses and long-distance efforts. He didn't have any howlers and he did keep a clean sheet, but otherwise no real confidence in him. Welbeck looks fantastic and he was their man of the match, Cleverley and Anderson bossed the midfield, and then the rest of the players up front, Rooney Young and Nani were excellent. Really no weak point, and Phil Jones already looks brilliant for them. Damnit.

On Tottenham, this was their first competitive game while it was United's third, but they did just look flat and disinterested in the second half. They were decent in the first half, but just completely outclassed in the second. I'd be most worried about the lack of a finishing touch and most importantly, the mental aspects. Some absolute brainfarts by Lennon and others that ruined some attacks, and then once they were down 2-0 they completely gave up. Just no desire or belief. I thought VDV had a pretty bad afternoon and he'll definitely need to step it up when Modric leaves. Worrying start for Tottenham but let's see if they can right the ship against some less impressive competition

Analysis of Jurgen's First Squad

2011-08-04T19:17:00.000-07:00

So, the squad for the game against Mexico has been announced, and so we finally get a solid first look at his selection process. There is the obvious caveat of the fact that this game happens a few days before many leagues kick off, and so certain players (Dempsey most notably) are already in their club mixes. But anyways, let's take a look.

The Usual Suspects
Tim Howard (Everton)
Carlos Bocanegra (St Etienne)
Michael Bradley (Borussia Monchengladbach)
Landon Donovan (Los Angeles Galaxy)
Jermaine Jones (Schalke 04)
Steve Cherundolo (Hannover)
Ricardo Clark (Eintracht Frankfurt)
Maurice Edu (Rangers)

OK, so no one here is a surprise. If anyone seriously played up any doubt about Bradley being here is completely foolish. He's our best pure midfielder and will always at least be in the squad. He can be a little...abrasive but that's mostly to the media and I doubt that will spill over on Klinsmann. He never thought he'd spend his entire career coached by his dad by USA and he knows how this works. The rest are as the name implies. I'd say Edu is the one to watch out of anyone, he really came into his own with Rangers this past year and I think he could challenge Bradley and Jones, particularly if Klinsmann favors only one defensive midfielder.

The Prodigal Sons
Jose Torres (Pachuca)
Kyle Beckerman (Real Salt Lake)

Say hello to the two happiest Americans after the announcement of Klinsmann! There was no real fall from grace for either in terms of club play, as both have had distinguished careers in Mexico and MLS respectively but both were pushed out of the national team during the Bradley era in ways due to their style of play. Both are creative midfielders with an eye for the pass, and I have always been impressed with Beckerman whenever I've seen him play. Due to his age, it will probably be Torres who wins out, but it's good to see both here. Obviously Torres played himself out of the team with the Slovenia game in the World Cup, but he is a talented player who deserves another shot. Great to see both in here.

The Reclamation Projects
Freddy Adu (Benfica)
DaMarcus Beasley (Puebla

Look, Freddy Adu deserves to be here. He played out of his mind in the Gold Cup and in his defense, he has almost always delivered when representing the national team. What has submarined him has been his inability to get anyone outside of the country to believe in him. If he can get regular football anywhere (COUGH MLS COUGH) he should go. There is no shame in coming back Freddy. None. Now, I think Klinsmann rightfully sees plenty of talent (and history) with Beasley that points to him possibly catching lightning in a bottle as Bradley with Adu. I hope so, but I gotta say it's unlikely. Beasley has just been awful for a few years now and he went from one of our most central players a few years ago to having played himself completely off the squad. With the loyalty of Bradley, that is no easy feat. Even Adu couldn't pull that off. I think the Adu Renaissance will continue but I don't harbor high hopes for Beasley.

The Young Gun
Juan Agudelo (New York Red Bulls)

He could be put on the usual suspects list already because everyone would be shocked if he does not get included in squads at this point. He is our most talented and promising youngster and while he had a mediocre (at best) Gold Cup, you've gotta hope he will just continue to improve.

The Groans
Clarence Goodson (Brondby)
Heath Pearce (Chivas USA)
Edson Buddle (FC Ingolstadt)

Goodson some would disagree a bit on, but I cannot get remotely excited by anyone here. If anyone of these guys starts, it just showcases a lot of the mediocrity that we have to deal with as a shallow talent pool. Pearce has had so many shockers that I literally cannot believe he has been capped 32 times and Buddle is really just a striker of complete last resort. There's not much to say here as these are three players who are not particularly young (Pearce at 26 is the youngest) and so probably not getting much better. These guys won't be starting in Brazil in three years so there's nothing for me to get myself all worked up about seeing as we don't have a trophy to play for until 2013 but yeah these guys are the groaners.

The Young Hopefuls
Tim Ream (New York Red Bulls)
Edgar Castillo (Club America)
Brek Shea (FC Dallas)
Michael Orozco Fiscal (San Luis)
Timmy Chandler (Nurnberg)
Bill Hamid (DC United)

And the rest. Hamid won't start, might get on the field to get cap-tied. I don't know if he is a dual-citizen, it just tends to be a safe assumption with American players. Hell, if I was good enough I'd have to be cap-tied too it just makes sense. Ream has already had a handful of caps and while he hasn't been great I think he has the makings of at least a solid central defender. It is of note that we have one goalie, one attacker and four defenders here. Defense is clearly our weak point and so the point where we need fresh thinking. Castillo should be decent, similar to Ream but I'm really excited about Chandler. A natural successor to Cherundolo and his Bundesliga crosses....everything we need in the team. Every team needs an exciting wingback and we've been hurting for a truly exciting one after Hejduk. Granted, Cherundolo is better than Hejduk in my opinion but he doesn't have the same pizzazz. Orozco Fiscal isn't exactly young (25) but he fits into Klinsmann desire to get a more Latin flair into the team. I honestly know nothing about this guy. He plays for a Mexican team whose name isn't super familiar to me and he played one season with the Union. And I guess he was on our last Olympic team. Alright then. Shea is the only relatively new guy in an attacking role, and he has been legit for Dallas thusfar and it will be exciting to see him start to feature for the national team, but given our glut of midfielders I don't expect to see him on Wednesday.

Well, that's the team. A lot of regulars, a lot of borderline players called up in replacement of missing players and then a handful of chances. I don't expect to see too much shaken up, but if there were to be something, maybe just one defensive midfielder. Given how Clark, Edu, Jones and Bradley aren't the world's most creative destroyers, you could be looking at just one of those on the pitch. I still think you'll probably see both of Jones and Bradley.

But in all honesty, there's some real quirks with this squad. It first off has one striker, and that striker is Edson Buddle. That is crazy. Donovan and Agudelo will probably be some weird forward combination upfront, but neither is a true striker. Agudelo is closer to one, but I think he is a better foil at this point. So we could be playing one striker up top (Agudelo), play both Donovan and Agudelo up top or in some way have Edson Buddle in the team. All of those options sound awful to me. Now, if Donovan is going to go a bit further back and placed on the right wing, we could replace Donovan in the second striker role with...Adu! I would be pretty excited with this, I want to see more Adu! Now if we put Donovan on the right, that would mean Beasley or Shea on the left...with which I would always want to see the young talent of Shea playing there. While I'd like to see Torres or Beckerman in the lineup, I'm so Bradley-fied that I can't imagine not seeing Bradley Jones in there, but I'd love to see Bradley Torres. For defense, Cherundolo on right, Bocanegra on left, and Ream and Castillo in the center, with Howard in back. I don't see the point of Pearce or Goodson as I really don't see either of them making any serious squad in the future so the future is now. So, something like this

Agudelo
Adu
Shea Bradley Torres Donovan
Bocanegra Ream Castillo Cherundolo
Howard

The final question is that of subs. Look, this isn't your usual friendly. This is against Mexico. This is one of the biggest soccer rivalries on Earth, particularly with national teams. There are no friendlies. I want to win this game no question. Way more than the usual friendly, I won't be happen with encouraging progress. I want a statement of intent. So, I don't know how much tinkering you should really expect to see. If my lineup is correct (highly unlikely), I'd like to see Edu and Jones see some action, along with Chandler and Beckerman. Granted how we named six central midfielders, all of whom have real potential to start for the national team, it's hard for me because I like all of them. Outside of the players I named in the lineup, Chandler is the only other player I'd really like to see. Maybe some Orozco Fiscal so I can get a better gauge on him as well. Either way, the only thing I know is I don't know care who starts, what is most important here is trying to get the win. USA!

It's Jurgen Time!

2011-07-30T22:45:00.000-07:00

Look, I've always felt the strong push for Klinsman was a little unnecessary. He is not the only great coach on this Earth and the fact that he lives in California should not mean we send the whole kitchen sink trying to get him. Either way, he is an exciting coach to have and while my optimism is absolutely tempered, I'm looking forward to the new era. Grant Wahl posted an article Klisman himself wrote for the BBC about how England can revamp their own team, and it is the best way for us to really get a glimpse into how his philosophy is structured. The article in full is here:

Let's break it down:

Germany had to rebuild after the disaster of the 2004 European Championship in Portugal. We did not win a game and failed to get out of our group.

I got the chance to decide on the direction we took when I agreed to take over as Germany coach that summer, with current manager Joachim Loew as my assistant.

'Jogi' and I began the whole regeneration process by trying to give our national team an identity.

We eventually decided to go down an attack-minded route, passing the ball on the ground from the back to the front line as quickly as possible using dynamic football.

Ok, this is stuff I like. Identities are good. Brazil has always had one, Spain has one, Italy has one. These things tend to work out. Attack-minded football would always be welcome but I particularly like this next bit...

Every nation has its own culture and specific environment as well as its own footballing identity. England have to develop their own vision and decide how they should play.

As I found, making that vision work is not an easy process. It will take time and England's results might not be positive while it takes effect.

OK....this is where there might be more of a disconnect. I'd love for us to have the German attack-minded identity, but is he equipped if our team plays to different styles? And would he survive if our team started to struggle mightily pre-World Cup?

England will also need the help of the Premier League. Every club coach will have their own philosophy but I tried to work with those in the Bundesliga to build something together.

There are a lot of foreign players and managers in England but that should not make a difference. You simply have to explain to them what the style of play is that you want to develop and be prepared to persevere.

Huh? Well first off, we are in a totally different perspective in that we would be in a world of trouble if we only selected players from our national league. But I can see the importance I guess in regards to an overall culture. But still, what the hell is he smoking here? He went around to coaches in the Bundesliga and they all played more attack-minded because he wanted them to? Did this actually work and if so, why hasn't he already called every MLS coach? In all honesty, I think this a totally bullshit statement as every club IS different and I don't think the fact that Real Madrid plays counter-attack and Barcelona plays possession has hurt the national team at all.

The German Football Association (DFB) helped us by putting a lot of pressure on all the first and second division teams in the Bundesliga to build academy programmes and ensure talented young players were coming through but we still had to decide on our playing style.

To do that, we quizzed everyone we could.

We held workshops with German coaches and players, asking them to write down on flip charts three things: how they wanted to play, how they wanted to be seen to be playing by the rest of the world and how the German public wanted to see us playing.

If we could define all of that, we thought we could lay out how we wanted to work and then, from there, sort out the training and paperwork behind the scenes.

What we ended up with amounted to 10 or 12 bullet points laying out our proposals. We then announced that it was our intention to play a fast-paced game, an attacking game and a proactive game.

Yet again, sorry to be so cynical but would you expect any different? Does any player really WANT to play a Stoke City style of play? Of course if you ask the players how they want it done they'll want a fast-paced attacking game. Of course that's what people want to see. I do like this whole national identity thing though, and he does go on about how he wanted it implemented on every level.

At that point, I told them I did not have the time to implement the strategy at all levels because I only had two years to prepare for the World Cup, so I asked for Germany's Under-21 team to adopt it and that was it.

I brought in a former international team-mate of mine, Dieter Eilts, to run the under-21s and said they had to play the same way as the senior team because they would be a feeder for it.

I was always looking long-term but I knew our plans would be measured by our success at the 2006 World Cup.

There was a lot of negative media at the start. Everybody agreed German football had to change after 2004 but nobody actually wanted to adopt our proposals.

For example, we told the Bundesliga teams and coaches that their players needed to be fitter to play the kind of football we wanted to play.

And, yet again, I just can't believe he held or attempted to hold that kind of sway with the club coaches. Just insane to me. If he can do it, power to him, but I'm just very skeptical of this being able to work in the US.

That was crucial because, no matter what your job is, you need to identify yourself with the work that you are doing and be happy.

I was happy because, as a former striker, I liked the style we intended to play. I could never coach a team that played defensive-minded football.

The most important quote in the whole article. Obviously things change but it looks pretty damn likely he is going to try something similar. He feels vindicated by his success in Germany and wants to replicate in the US, and he says himself he could not coach a defensive team. I'm down with that. Look, I know I sound skeptical here but it's because I don't like getting my hopes up. I don't want to run off and celebrate that we have Klinsman who followed up his Germany triumph with an absolutely horrid campaign with Bayern Munich, followed by sunbathing in California for a few years. I like that he emphasizes stylish, attacking play (what a change of pace!) and that he genuinely seems focused and interested in the future and development of players. If those two mantras hold, then he is a great hire for the job. Our talent pipeline is currently running pretty under-capacity and we have no real identity. I'd say the things that define US soccer are resilience and athleticism, because honestly, what else would there be to say? Resilience is a great thing, and one we should cherish, and yes our country produces some exceptional athletes. But there is nothing really else to identify us. We batten down the hatches and try to get a few good attacks and finish, despite not being an elite defensive team. We play route-one despite not having a decent striker. We seem to do a lot of things oddly and without consistency and I think a strong identity and ethic could do wonders. I hope this all works, I really do. Just don't expect to jump on the bandwagon just yet.

An Ode to Bob Bradley

2011-07-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

So, I've felt for quite a while (like many US fans) that the useful period of the Bob Bradley era was done. He was both overrated and underappreciated, but such is the way with fickle national team fans. His entrance into the team could not have been worse. Gulati was salivating over Klinsman and his refusal to give Klinsman total control over the machinations of the national team was a good, principled team that prevented us from looking like a weak and desperate federation. Regardless, when someone is introduced as a caregiver, gets a couple effective results in friendlies and is then given the full-time position, it does not produce the wonder or fanfare of an All-Star appointment. But we need to look at Bob Bradley objectively, to see if he truly was a good manager for the national team. As has been much publicized in his departure, he went to four finals in his six appearances. And the two times he did not reach a final, it was the World Cup and the Copa America where his best player was either Feilhaber or Clark, but either way they were his two best players by a country mile (unless you count a Charlie Davies before he really leaped to a new level of play in 2008 and 2009). That's nothing to complain about, but obviously no one is going to win fans by blowing 2 goal leads in two of the finals, one where it is against our most hated rival and another when it is against Brazil in the biggest match in USMNT history (I will hear arguments for USA-Germany in 2002). In any case, I believe virtually all coaches grow stale in a second world cup cycle, and should be changed anyways. Capello will get even worse for England by my reckoning and if he doesn't then he is merely an exception. Bruce Arena gave the US its greatest cup run in modern history and then followed it up with 1 point and 1 goal scored by an American in group play in 2006. It was all just a matter of time. I'm going to give Bob Bradley grades on his tournaments and the other aspects that make a successful national team coach.

2007 Gold Cup Grade: A

Look, you can't win a tournament and not get an A grade. The US skated through the group stage without conceding a goal, and then 2-1'd their way through the knockout stages to the final. This wasn't a tournament without drama however. The USA-Canada game was marred by the fact that Canada was wrongfully denied an equalizer in the dying minutes of the match and in all honesty looked the better team in those closing minutes. It is never a good sign when Julian de Guzman and Iain Hume are killing you. USA advanced and then faced Mexico, where Benny Feilhaber reached his highest heights in the national team with this cracker of a goal:

In the end, it was a workmanlike solid tournament that got the desired goal. This was Mexico in an off-period and us in a peaking one, so I would have been surprised if we had not won. We didn't have the all-stars of the tournament (Donovan or Dempsey didn't even make the best XI) but we had cohesion and an indomitable spirit that made us all think maybe Bradley knew what he was doing after all.

2007 Copa America Grade: F

Look, there isn't much to say here. Clearly we did not prioritize this tournament. This was right after the Gold Cup, held no real importance from a pragmatic standpoint and for these reasons we sent a B team. However our B team sucked then and sucks now. It is a big achievement for our team to go to competitive tournaments and simply show up and play well, so going to one of those tournaments not ready to compete is going to produce what happened in Venezuela. We were outscored 8-2 en route to 4-1, 3-1 and 1-0 losses in the group stage. We held a lead for all of 2 minutes in the tournament via a 9' Eddie Johnson penalty vs Argentina which was quickly erased by an 11' equalizer by Hernan Crespo. I think that sentence says all you need to hear about how well we stacked up. Sure, it may be harsh to give this team an F but in terms of results it could not have gotten worse. We had 0 points and -6 goal differential. That would put us 12th in the tournament and there were 12 teams. You can't fault Bradley once he got there too much as his team really sucked, but I'm not going to give him credit for that sort of performance.

2009 Confederations Cup Grade: A-

Look, I don't get as excited about this tournament as others do. In a nutshell, we got creamed by Italy and Brazil, crushed Egypt, had a fluke shocker over Spain and then got outclassed by Brazil in the final. So we had 2.5 good games out of 5 if you want to count the first half of the final. That's not a good batting average. We went through the group stage only on one of those multi-layered combinations of things that must go right and thankfully they all did. If Brazil didn't cream Italy that bad, we would not have gone through. The tournament started out horrendously, with Rossi destroying us in the first match which really twisted the knife. Brazil then completely outclassed us in the second game and it really seemed all dead and gone. Then, to everyone in the team's and most importantly Bradley's credit, the team rallied, crushed Egypt and made it to the knockouts. This two-game stretch of Egypt and Spain is in my opinion the peak of Bradley's career. Getting blown out by both Italy and Brazil is not terribly unexpected for our team and Egypt is an African powerhouse so beating them is always impressive. The Spain game was an incredible soul-affirming moment, but any American fan who tells you that we were true 2-0 winners that day are kidding themselves. Altidore's goal was great for the turn (Casillas I'm sure feels he could have done better) and gave us all the hope we needed in him. Spain then unleashed the armada and fired shot after shot but our defense (and Howard) were unbelievable and pulled us through. Dempsey then put in the clincher using the strongest law in soccer physics: If the ball stays in the box too long, it's going to go in the net. Just outhustled the Spanish defense to the ball and kept his cool. The final against Brazil was as heartbreaking as the win against Spain was euphoric. Great counterattacking put us in a great position to win at half-time, but the first minute of the second half was punctuated by Luis Fabiano's clinical finishing and we all knew it was probably going to end poorly. They were a far better team and no one can truly complain but the way it turned out was just so heartbreaking. Howard and Dempsey made the Best XI, with Dempsey getting Bronze Ball and Howard getting the Golden Gloves. This is the tournament that made the US feel the most like a real competitive team. We beat Egypt and Spain, qualified ahead of Italy and lost 3-2 in the final. Our goalie was named the best of the tournament and best outfield player got the bronze ball behind only Kaka and Luis Fabiano. It was a moment when you really felt the team had turned the corner.

2009 Gold Cup Grade: D

Another case of second-tournament B-team syndrome. In the group stage, we killed Grenada (expected), solidly beat Honduras (impressive) and tied Haiti 2-2 (pathetic). Oh wait, Honduras sent a B team as well? Well nevermind then. We had to have extra time to beat Panama and then we beat Honduras B again on our way to the final with Mexico. I should point out that this is as well mostly a Mexico B. Sure Gio dos Santos is there, but the only four players who played in both the 2009 and 2011 final for Mexico are dos Santos, Torrado, Suarez and Castro. Granted, that's compared to 0 for the US, but still, the 5-0 drubbing was horrendous. It gave Mexico renewed confidence in their matches against us and signaled the end of our CONCACAF dominance. We all hoped it meant nothing but it clearly did. On the flip side, no player wants to play two international tournaments in one summer, and so you can't blame Bradley again for the fact that our B team is awful. His best players were Holden (MLS-version), Beckerman and Rogers. Rogers is injury-riddled now so it's unfair to judge but you have 2 career MLSers as arguably your best performers. There was not an impressive win in this tournament (as I stated, I'm not impressed beating Honduras B, Grenada or Panama) so to have only this 5-0 drubbing is a huge stain on the tournament.

2010 World Cup Grade: B+

Alternatively, I'm not as low on this tournament as others are. Look, we won our group with England in it, tied England and Slovenia and beat Algeria in the group stage. That's as close to a best-case scenario ahead of time as we probably could have had. The loss to Ghana is not as ridiculous as some members of the media made it out to be. It's just seeing that your lineup would be Ghana, Uruguay, Netherlands to the final IS one of the least intimidating ways to make a World Cup final, but we would have been underdogs in each of those games. This is not a huge upset or a shocker of a win. Ghana's best player, Gyan, was and is better than our best player, Dempsey. Let's go over the tournament though. We were, in all honesty, as good if not better over the course of the match with England. The Green howler is all anyone will ever remember from that match, but after that the wind was sucked out of England's sails and we really were the better team. Against Slovenia, we were poor in the first half and got punished, but got a deserved tie and this match will always be remembered for the wrongfully disallowed goal. So, I can understand the fan's frustrations when two probably-should-be-a-win games are ties and it takes a miracle in the 91' minute to beat Algeria and win us the group. We had a great group stage, and the fact that two ties should have been wins is immaterial if you get through. The loss to Ghana was....deserved. Sorry but they were better. I mean, Gyan, Asamoah, Boateng, Mensah....that is a good team. Their players play for better clubs and many of them ARE better. The US should have beat England because England collapsed after a goalkeeping error, the US should have beat Slovenia because Slovenia wilted under high-pressure tactics after going 2-0 up and the US should have beat Algeria because they may have been the worst team in the tournament. Only one of those games should we have won because we are definitively the better team. The other two because we were mentally tougher but in all honesty probably worse technically. This is a testament to a mentality instilled by Bradley but people need to understand that on paper we are underdogs in most games in non-Gold Cup tournaments. Against Ghana, we started Bornstein, Findley, Demerit and Clark. Those are not even good players on a world scale, probably not even average. I think this tournament was a bigger success for Bradley in some ways than even the Confederations cup because he did well for the entire tournament.

2011 Gold Cup Grade: C-

Look, the US looked like shit throughout this whole tournament. I even read other blogs talking about how they almost wanted the US to lose because they knew if we won, everyone would say all is right and none of the problems would be addressed. And I cannot say I totally disagree with that. This is the tournament, along with some poorly played friendlies, that did Bradley in. We never looked that good in this tournament, at any point. Our most impressive victories were either a solid win over Canada or 90%-as-solid win over Jamaica. Panama beat us and looked like they deserved at least a draw against us in the knockout stage, and I felt lucky that we beat Guadeloupe in normal time (despite a STUNNER from Altidore). The team was just so dull and lacked imagination and inspiration. I knew we would get up and play for Mexico because we always do because that is how rivalries work. The reason the only tournament I put a non-US picture is this one is because no matter how you cut it, this tournament cannot be made about the United States. This was Mexico's tournament and Mexico had all the storylines. Our only possible angles were that of a dull, aging team with nothing coming down the pipeline. Agudelo was mediocre at best, and there was simply nothing to say about the team. They didn't deserve to be champions and they weren't. Mexico, on the other hand, inherited virtually every single CONCACAF crown the US had in this tournament. Best player in CONCACAF? I'm sorry Donovan but Chicharito has that crown. Best Team? Clearly Mexico. Best Future? Again, Mexico. Best Attack? Again. Most Resilient? Most Mentally Strong? Most Balanced? Even Howard looked shaky in the tournament and while I'm not ready to say his title of best keeper in CONCACAF is gone it is surely up for grabs on current form. This loss hurt so much worse than almost any other I can remember because of all the implications. For years, USA beat the technically-superior Mexicans with superior tactics, organization and mental toughness. All of those advantages are gone. The talent pendulum has swung absurdly into their direction. The US needs a new golden generation and FAST if they want any chance to reclaim the Kings of CONCACAF title anytime soon and until then, expect to see Hernandez smiling as widely as he is right here every time he steps on US soil.

So, what does all this mean? In only one tournament did Bradley take seriously did I give him a bad grade (the last Gold Cup) and fittingly his poor performance in it cost him his job. It's hard to truly evaluate either the 2007 Copa America or 2009 Gold Cup because simply put, it's unfair on players to call them to two different tournaments. Either they play in Europe where you are now dooming them to a summer break that is completely filled with competitive soccer or they play in MLS where they miss half the season. I think the problems there are systemic. Personally, I think CONEMBOL and CONCACAF should combine into one conference and have one quadrennial tournament like UEFA, but if it weren't to happen, the Gold Cup itself should be quadrennial as well. And why not have it the same summer as Euros? That way if CONCACAF teams want to play in the Copa America, they don't have to send U23 squads. But more on that in later posts. My point was, it's really harsh to judge him too strongly on those two tournaments. So I won't.

On the other ones, there really could be no complaints about his performance pre-2011. He won the Gold Cup, lost in the final of the Confeds Cup and in the round of 16 in the World Cup. I think very few (realistic) American fans would be upset with that payoff. In competitive matches, he beat Mexico, Spain, Egypt and drew England. His team got stale and dull after the full cycle but so do most coaches, just look at World Cup-winning coach Lippi with Italy. You could say he relied too much on the same guys and did not do enough youth development but what else could he really do? It's not like the national team is the place for serious development of players. The national team cherry picks the best possible team of the available players. You don't want to have your eventual players to be unseasoned in international football, but those blaming Bradley for not bleeding in new guys are delusional. Not only did he take some serious risks with players but he HAD to. We simply aren't that deep. The only players who were truly undroppable were Howard, Bocanegra, Bradley, Donovan and Dempsey. And would anyone disagree with that? Those were our five best players over the last cycle. I understand that everyone was initially skeptical over the nepotistic choice of his son for CM, but he IS our best CM. Altidore started game after game because who else would you put there? Findley failed, Ching failed, Casey failed, Cooper failed, Gomez failed and so did everyone else but Altidore and Davies. Altidore and Davies were legitimately good as a one-two punch before Davies's horrific car crash. And even though Altidore isn't very good on a global scale (yet?), he is without a doubt our best current striker. The problem is he isn't a natural goal scorer the way a Chicharito is and he is better in the Heskey mold of striker, which means you need someone else up there with him. But after Davies, no one else is close to good enough. Bradley put in Agudelo and ADU in the last Gold Cup, both of which were bold choices and the inspired choice of Adu really should put to rest any idea that he was not a creative coach. His love of 2 CDMs may have made us dull, but you can't argue with his results during the last cycle, you really can't. He didn't bleed in new guys because they all sucked. Holden would have been in but he always got seriously hurt at the worst times. Because of that, he is really the only American player who is playing so well that you're saying why isn't a regular for the national team? Bradley's job was to take finished products more or less, and make a great team out of them. He tried so many different options to see who could work but the fact is, most of them couldn't. Klinsman has his work cut out for him, as his best players are getting older and older and there does not seem to be any hope breaking through the youth ranks. Bradley was a great coach for the USMNT, and one who I really hope history is kind to. Judging him on the 2010 World Cup cycle, he did fantastically well. I realize he was never the most popular choice, but he really did a great job and one that all US fans should acknowledge and appreciate. Thank you Bob Bradley.

Musings

2011-07-14T20:34:00.001-07:00

So, I watched a lot of soccer yesterday. By a lot, I mean a shit ton. I have the good fortune to work as a bartender, which means that on slow days (like yesterday), I may be poorly paid, but I get to watch whatever sport I want all day. I was able to watch both Womens World Cup semi-finals and both Copa America matches, along with the New England Revolution against Manchester United in a friendly. A quick aside before some thoughts however. I watched the Seattle-Portland match from last weekend, and I have to say, as a normal detractor of MLS, the match was fucking awesome. It was a nail-biter with passion flowing forth from every inch of the pitch. Just completely revolutionized my idea of what the league is and where the league is going. Onto the games:

USA 3 France 1
Whats there to say? This is probably the only game of the five that was widely watched (of the five I watched that is) and the only one I watched completely front to finish (I was at home for this one). I have to say, France were definitely the better team in the first 2/3 of the game, it was just down to goalkeeping for why the US won. Simply put, you need an elite keeper to win a tournament. I don't care what tournament, if you have a better keeper than everyone else, you've got a hell of a shot to win. Howard's dominance (this year notwithstanding) has been the difference for the USMNT to dominate CONCACAF and Hope Solo is why the women's team is still in the tournament. She is way better than whoever was in goal for the French team, who really should have down better with both the second and third goals. The second goal was simply timid goalkeeping, while the third one was poor positioning. Either way, very much looking forward to the final.

Japan 3 Sweden 1
In all honesty, saying I watched this is somewhat of a fiction. I was opening and had some business so I really watched the highlights. Both teams had one cracking goal while Japan also had 2 shit ones. We lost to Sweden so I guess it's good we face Japan? or we're doubly screwed. I really know nothing about the relative strength of the world's female teams.

Paraguay 3 Venezuela 3
HOLY SHIT. I still cannot believe Paraguay blew this. Venezuela outplayed them pretty solidly in the first half and scored off an inexplicable defensive meltdown. I realize one is afraid of passes that lead to someone being alone on goal, but why would you let someone be alone on goal by leaving them to defend the pass? The defender LEFT the main with the ball on the 18 and Venezuela duly capitalized. I thought Paraguay settled and had a somewhat flattering scoreline (but a deserved lead) but then all hell broke loose and Venezuela just annihilated them in injury time. If you didn't hear about the game, Paraguay was up 3 1 going into the final 3 minutes of injury time when Venezuela scored twice and tied the match (and in turn won the group). Paraguay had completely checked out and were duly punished.

Brazil 4 Ecuador 2
First things first, how the hell did Brazil let this happen? A must-win group stage match in a tournament where only one THIRD-placed team gets eliminated at the group stage? Unbelievable. Anyways, Ecuador got two very-against-the-run-of-play equalizers at 1 1 and 2 2 which made me salivate over the idea of what the tiebreaker would be if Brazil tied 3 3 (giving them the same points, goal differential, goals scored, goals allowed as Paraguay). However, Brazil was much better and Pato is really good, and Ecuador is really quite shit, so it was just a matter of time. And it was. Neymar and Ganso impressed as well so even though this appears to be one of the weakest Brazil teams ever fielded, the front 3 of Pato Neymar and Ganso is going to haunt everyone's dreams for the next decade. By the way, I looked up the tiebreaker. For FIFA (and presumably CONEMBOL) they....draw out of a hat. Yes, yes they do. That would have been FANTASTIC.

Manchester United 4 New England Revolution 1
What is there to say? Of course they fucking won. Micky Owen scored a goal but fuck him anyways. Ashley Young looked pretty good but Robbie Rogers looks pretty good against the Revs too so I'll say the jury is still out.

Transfer Window: Losers

2011-02-08T11:09:00.001-08:00

Well, part I (winners) is right below here, but I'd thought I'd throw the unfortunate half of the pile here. So without further ado, here are the transfer window losers of the period.

Fernando Torres

Arguments can be made over whether or not Chelsea are winners in this transfer window. Some would say they wildly overpaid, but if Abramovich doesn't care, why should we? Fair play isn't in effect yet and if he doesn't mind spending those prices, power to him. After all, you're only ripped off if you feel ripped off. I really think the real loser here is Torres. Granted, he just pocketed a cool 5mil pounds (players get about 10% of the fee) and is on a contract worth a total of 35mil pounds now, but still he threw so much away. Don't get me wrong, if Hodgson had stayed or if things looked just as dire as before, no one would hold ANYTHING against him in the summer. Look at Xabi Alonso. He had a falling out with Benitez, put in a great year and is still loved by Liverpool fans. Xabi could go into any bar in Merseyside (any red one anyways) and not pay for a pint all night. The way Torres did it, really the timing of it, shattered any love that he had built up at Anfield. And to top it off, he went to the Anti-Liverpool in Chelsea. Not to get too much on my high horse, but he went to a plastic club that is all about mercenaries and money. He will have to be the Torres of old, and a little more, for a few years for him to get anywhere close the same legend status he had at Liverpool. Another five years at Anfield and Fernando would have been the most popular boys name for Scousers. By putting in his request with 3 days left in the window, right as Liverpool finally seemed to be on the up (and had already bought Suarez by the way) was just a shady way to do it. If he had gone off in the summer before, no one would be this raw. He does get the money though, and credit to him there.

I will make a point about Chelsea as a whole though. David Luiz is a very good signing as he is an excellent defender and Torres is a great signing as he is a great striker. But sometimes, one really has to look at the team and see where they fit. David Luiz and John Terry are both significantly more effective when deployed on the left side of the center midfield pairing, and Terry's World Cup struggles have been partially attributed to him being deployed on the right half. One would hope this is circumventable but nothing is guaranteed, and we will see if they can work this out.

Torres presents another issue. Torres is an out-and-out center forward. He doesn't cross or go wide, and he doesn't drop back. He is a center forward and a damn good one. You know who else that describes? Didier Drogba. Both are absolutely terrific center forwards, and in full fitness and form, the two best in the world in my opinion (maybe Eto'o has a case as well). However, neither of them are particularly prone to going wide and crossing, and I am skeptical on how they will combine. Similarly, what to do with Anelka? He is a little more versatile, but he can't play both flanks and he's not a midfielder. He played well in the CAM type role at Sunderland but was badly exposed against Liverpool. And obviously Kalou is done as any significant role player unless something drastic changes. So while both players are great, who knows if the signings will really work out? I'm skeptical.

However, at least EPL fans can now have their very own Sideshow Bob just like the NBA with Anderson Varejao!

From the International Sideshow Bob Championships

Spain (and particularly Malaga)
Well, first off, the big 2, per usual, are exempt from this rule. Barca didn't lose anyone and got the highly coveted Affelay. And Real Madrid got Adebayor for free. So, as in all things, Barca and Real Madrid do brilliantly and life sucks for everyone else. Malaga, the biggest spenders, are still dead last and are still four points from safety. Everyone else spent...nothing. Seriously. Nothing. All these teams are broke as hell and none have anything available to spend. The league might have the best soccer in the world, but they definitely have the worst soccer financing.

Newcastle United

Poor Newcastle. Simply put, they are the victims of corporate raiders. The money from Andy Carroll will not be put into Newcastle's squad, it will go into Mike Ashley's bank account. I don't have anything to really say here. It just seems that anything goes well for Newcastle, Mike Ashley feels an undying need to shit on it. I just feel bad for the poor old Geordies that's all.

Transfer Window: Winners

2011-02-07T14:05:00.001-08:00

So, the transfer window closed a week ago. Where to start? It was fucking nuts. Torres, Carroll, Luiz, Suarez and a host of others in the window. So let's play a quick game of winners and losers.

WINNERS

Liverpool: Well, let's start with the busiest members. Liverpool made a splash in both directions, getting wildly overpaid for Torres and then wildly overpaying for Carroll. If you look at the fact that they basically didn't spend any money, flipping an injury-prone player who has been a shadow of his sublime self for 18 months for Carroll and Suarez is great business.

I'm not totally sold on Carroll and I think he will end up being a great target man, but watching his goal compilations, how many does he really score with his feet? He'll be lethal on set pieces and that's always useful but I'm still a touch skeptical about his technique. Suarez I think is the steal of the window. A player with great touch, tireless work rate and an absolutely predatory instinct around the goal is a great addition, and who can really argue that a strike force of Carroll and Suarez will almost surely end up better than the lone figure of Torres up top.

Blackpool

They held onto their inspirational captain, and were able to get James Beattie as he slowly tries to play in as many relegation battles as possible. Beattie isn't really that big a deal, the big thing here is holding onto Adam. If he ends up the difference between staying up and going down, he is worth as much as Torres, and who can blame Blackpool for scoffing at the 7mil offers they received. Adam is worth loads more than that for Blackpool and considering that's the case, who would ever expect to see them sell for really anything under 15? He will probably be gone in the summer, but they'll have all summer to retool and prepare for another season in the Premier League, and hey, maybe they'll use the money to buy some underground heating.

AMERICA

Michael Bradley on loan to Aston Villa

Jozy Altidore on loan to Bursaspor

Robbie Findley to Nottingham Forest

Eddie Johnson on loan to Preston North End

Freddy Adu on loan to Rizespor

Phew, OK that was a lot. But as you can see, Americans were pretty busy here. You had two players making clear steps forward, with three others trying to get some regular football at a lower level. Bradley is by far the biggest winner here, as he is a class player who can now show it provided he gets some playing time for Villa. With Ireland gone and the club mired in a relegation fight, Bradley should have plenty of opportunity to showcase his talents and secure a permanent move. Gladbach is almost assuredly going down and I think they are so confident in his abilities that they loaned him out so people could see how good he is. Otherwise, a relegation threatened team just simply gave up one of their best players. A great move for Findley as well, as he moves from a MLS side to a team that looks like it is in great shape to get promoted and even if not, the Championship is still a step up. He did pick up a knock in training but he should recover. The other three are really just in the situation of trying to get playing time. Eddie Johnson got a game almost immediately for Preston and who knows, maybe he can get some goals for them. They're the worst team in the Championship and if he can't make an impact there, he should either work on his Swedish or come on home. Altidore is going to the Turkish champions, and is still in a great situation with Villareal not looking keen to get rid of him. Altidore should probably leave the Yellow Submarine however, as he will never get in front of Nilmar or Rossi. If I were Jozy, I'd say a mid-level Spanish club would give him a better chance in the long run and he is also built for the Premier League. Finally, that brings us to the sad case of Freddy Adu. There are a lot of steps to take before the second division in Turkey, and this is where he is today. I hope he can make an impact and slowly start climbing his way up the ladder to success. He is far from past it age-wise, but he is dangerously close to falling completely off the map. He has to make an impact somewhere, anywhere and hope that things start to build. Hell, if he could raise through the ranks in Turkey that'd be a massive step up than being in the reserves at Benfica. You just gotta hope he gets it together.

Transfer League losers coming soon!

The Idiocy of Weakened Squads

2011-01-31T12:47:00.000-08:00

I know it's deadline day, but I'm in a small state of mourning after the loss of Fernando, and so I'll cover all of that tomorrow. First, I want to talk about the fact that Blackpool is being fined by the FA for fielding a "weakened" squad. Now, 25k is quite a pretty penny for a team that cannot even afford under-pitch heating, and they did the same thing to Wolves last year. Let's just go over the facts, shall we? Ian Holloway selected a starting lineup, entirely composed of the 25-man squad he selected for the Premier League, but with 9 of the players starting not being first-team regulars. The game was very evenly matched, with Villa winning on a late Collins strike.

We Just Scored on Blackpool's B Team!

Now, look, it was clearly a weakened team (which makes it all the more pathetic that they nearly drew Aston Villa) but what exactly is the crime here? Teams all the time make callous decisions like this. First off, the FA, which controls both cups, regularly watches teams put in B (or C or D) squads in those cups that they frankly don't care much about. How is this allowed then? They are basically saying that these ties don't matter much to them. If they aren't allowed to say that about a Premier League game, why can they say that about the main cups in the country?

Furthermore, where you draw the line between rotation and weakening? Any rotation is clearly a weakening of your best XI, but when is it weakening and when is it resting? There's too much gray area, and Holloway has done a great job at Blackpool so far so who is saying that he is not doing what is in the best interest of the club? It is insipid to fine Blackpool when he simply did what the Big Clubs have always done but never get called out on. Fergie, Wenger and Rafa would all be very poor men if they were fined every time they rotated to a "weakened" team. Just because no one rates Blackpool's bench does not mean they are any less right.

Bye-Bye Hodgson

2011-01-08T17:50:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official. After a horrible half season, the 2010 Manager of the Year is now the first fired manager of the new year (well other than that other Roy but the Championship doesn't count). It really is a shame it had to come to this. You had a quality mid-table manager just simply way too far out of his depth. Hodgson can get you some decent results, but he is never winning a title. Even at his best, he lacks an ability to get any team to perform on the road. But, I will stop. Far too much ink has been wasted on his ineffectiveness as the manager of Liverpool. He just was not the right man for the job.

I think his career won't be soiled too horribly by this, and he surely will work again. There will probably be a few more openings this year in both the Premier League and the Championship, and he has never shown himself to be unwilling to go abroad. So, he will work again. He will be successful again, but his success is not that of a championship winning manager, it is that of stable mid-table success. An odd cup run, midtable finishes and no relegation. And that's what plenty of teams would kill for.

Roy Keane, on the other hand, has to be close to finished in football management. He is quite far removed from his only success (Sunderland's promotion and their subsequent staying up) and has followed that with his acrimonious exit from Sunderland and his horror show with Ipswich. Simply put, I don't think he has the temperament for management. Unless he got a big club (very fat chance), he will almost assuredly never manage a player as good as he was. Regardless of where he coaches, he will never coach a guy as tough as he was. And he will forever remain infuriated by his players by not reaching his own lofty standard. They will burn out by the military atmosphere, and eventually tune him out. He was hated as a player, and that's fine. In this day and age, you simply cannot be hated as a coach. The players have too much power.

Friendlies Roster

2010-12-23T01:48:00.000-08:00

So Bradley has released the roster for the USA National Team's upcoming friendlies. It's a who's who of young American talent in the MLS, along with our old Scandinavian stomping grounds. Cervi plays for Celtic, which is the only foreign club of note here. Obviously he doesn't start. In fact he's on loan to Dundee. Where he doesn't start. Sigh.

Here's the list:

GOALKEEPERS

Cervi, Dominic (Celtic)
Johnson, Sean (Chicago Fire)
Pickens, Matt (Colorado Rapids)
Rimando, Nick (Real Salt Lake)

DEFENDERS

DeLaGarza, A.J. (Los Angeles Galaxy)
Franklin, Sean (Los Angeles Galaxy)
Gonzalez, Omar (Los Angeles Galaxy)
Ihemelu, Ugo (FC Dallas)
Loyd, Zach (FC Dallas)
Miller, Ryan (Halmstads BK)
Ream, Tim (New York Red Bulls)
Wallace, Anthony (Colorado Rapids)
Wynne, Marvell (Colorado Rapids)

MIDFIELDERS

Alexander, Eric (FC Dallas)
Bedoya, Alejandro (Örebro)
Cronin, Sam (San Jose Earthquakes)
Diskerud, Mikkel (Stabaek)
Larentowicz, Jeff (Colorado Rapids)
McCarty, Dax (D.C. United)
Shea, Brek (FC Dallas)

FORWARDS

Agudelo, Juan (New York Red Bulls)
Braun, Justin (Chivas USA)
Bunbury, Teal (Sporting Kansas City)
Wondolowski, Chris (San Jose Earthquakes)

Feliz Navidad!

2010-12-23T01:32:00.000-08:00

So, I don't want to give the impression I have a Giuseppe Rossi man-crush by including him in the last two posts, but it's much more indicative about how bad at posting I've been recently. Here is Villareal's Christmas ad which I thought was cute. Come on it's in good fun. It is a little sad that he is clearly an Italian, through and through, to everyone in Spain and Europe. Obviously having him sing Yankee Doodle Dandy would be great but as I've said before I really have no hard feelings towards Rossi. As opposed to other players who more callously choose their national team off of a combination of prestige and possibility of playing time, he never wavered in his commitment for Italy. He always represented them at the youth level and never toyed with the US. He always made it clear he wanted to represent Italy, which for a kid from New Jersey, is a pretty ballsy move. I respect that. He could have been first-choice striker for 15 years for the US team (assuming we don't have some golden generation of 14-year olds right now) but instead is trying to play for the team of his childhood dreams. What's wrong with that? Besides he basically moved at 13 to Parma so by that logic Ghana should hate Freddy Adu (or they would if he was good) and so many other countless movements of players. I have more respect for Rossi, a kid who chose a path he has never wavered from and was always clear and upfront about who he wanted to represent, than I do for Jermaine Jones, who I really think just wanted to play some international football. I have no issue with Jones as I would do the same in his situation but does anyone really think that he would be playing for USA if the German national team had been calling? He played in three friendlies but never would have seen any starting lineup. Look, I'm going to stop ranting but where I'm going with this is that I think hating Rossi shows how weak a footballing nation we are. He is clearly the best player to have been born on American soil and barring some new prodigy, will probably hold that title for his career. Donovan is great but come on, everyone would take Rossi first. The problem isn't that USA soccer didn't hold on to Rossi (whom even Brazil wouldn't have) but the problem is that we are so desperate for a creative player that we'll scorn a kid living out his dream.

Anyways, here is that Christmas special, it is quite funny.

Quick La Liga Action

2010-10-25T23:22:00.000-07:00

Everything the USA National Team could use in a striker (Rossi's goal, Villareal's second). In other news, FANTASTIC La Liga season thusfar. 10 goals in 8 matches for Cristiano. Legitimate contenders not named Real Madrid and Barcelona, and generally just the best football to watch from a neutral's perspective. Here's the Villareal Highlights

Roy Ghoulson

2010-09-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

When your manager and assistant are both walking undead, things are going poorly:

Cobra or Sodomy: A Discussion

2010-09-27T11:36:00.000-07:00

This is a couple weeks old, but I was busy:

We are all familiar with this stunning goal by non other than Cesc Fabregas. I was quick to proclaim "COBRA COBRA COOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" when I witnessed it, and nearly wet myself with excitement. However, a real discussion has to be made into whether or not it was cobra, and if not, what type of hitback it was. Let's rule out the obvious.

Divine Sodomy: Cesc is in the opposing half and has never played defense. Not a chance.
The Rattler: Cesc appears to make no other attempts at the hitback, nevermind a constant stream of attacks that would declare a Rattler.
Sheva: I don't believe these are possible in professional football.
Sodomy from the Skies: CLEARLY NOT. Besides the great David Wronski would have chosen something other than a Gooner to be his Chosen Heir.

So let's go into the options:
Hambone: From the center forward position, a straight hitback on either keeper or defender.
Cobra: From a left forward or right forward position, a straight hitback on either keeper or defender.
Spitting Cobra: Same as above, with caveat that it loops over the defender and keeper.
Sodomy: A hitback from the midfield position.

Now, I believe we can immediately rule out Hambone, as Cesc is clearly not in a Center Forward position at the time of the hitback (I'm deeming his position on the pitch more important than his actual position in the formation) and I think we can also rule out a plain Cobra, due to the fact that if this is a Cobra, it is clearly a Spitting Cobra.

What needs to be addressed now my friends is the position of the hitback. Observe where Cesc hits the ball. Now observe the relative positions of players on a standard Tornado Foosball Table:

Clearly, my friends, what we are dealing with here is none other than a SPITTING COBRA!!!!! Well done Cesc. Well done.

Why I'm Stopping Power Rankings

2010-09-26T17:32:00.000-07:00

So, I should mention that I'm stopping Power Rankings. I just don't think it's as relevant in Football as in other sports. I might go back to doing the weekly recap of games though. With Power Rankings, I love them I really do but honestly I don't have the time, and they always end up being pretty obvious anyways. I liked the recaps better anyways, and so I'll start those up after my job interviews this week. So, if you guys want to do those again, that'd be great, but I'm going to retire my contribution to the Power Rankings.

The Jury's Back In: Sack Hodgson

2010-09-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

Look, I don't like to do the knee-jerk reaction stuff, but can we all admit that Roy Hodgson has done a horrible job with Liverpool. This might seem rash but I just have to say he inspires no confidence in the players or in the fans. Why does he always sit back and hope to squeeze out results against less talented opposition? You can argue whether Liverpool has CL talent, but it UNDOUBTEDLY has Europa level talent. You have a host of internationals, and a few players who are considered World Class (Gerrard, Torres, Reina). That should be enough to beat the Sunderlands and Birminghams of the world. Why does he insist on sitting back and letting them hammer us? Why can't we defend any crosses? Fun fact: all non-penalty goals against Liverpool in the league this season have come off crosses. It's an atrocity.

Lets go through the games shall we?
Premier League
Home Draw with Arsenal (1-1): Got my hopes up high. We played inspired and were it not for an unlucky error by Reina, would have held onto the win. A class goal by Ngog and an overall great performance. I was psyched.
Away Loss/Embarrassment at City (3-0): The scoreline flattered us. This sucked.
Home win against WBA (1-0): We were better but not dominantly so. Only broke the deadlock due to a class finish by Torres. Nothing to inspire confidence.
Away draw at Birmingham (0-0): Looked pathetic, completely outplayed by Birmingham. If you want to say Reina lost us 2 points at Arsenal, he sure as hell earned one back here. He played out of his mind.
Away loss to Manchester United (3-2): Maybe not as bad as Sir Alex would have suggested, but Liverpool were beaten. The result was not unfair and it was only the spirit of Gerrard that kept us alive.
Home draw with Sunderland (2-2): Quite outplayed by Sunderland and needed a (perfectly legal but) lucky goal and more Gerrard inspiration. He is trying his hardest and Torres did some great creating but we need more from the other 8 players in the outfield.

So there you go. We have one good performance, two average and 3 shit. Not a good rate for a team trying to compete. Oh by the way, we're on pace for 38 points, which can get you relegated in plenty of seasons.

Lets go to the cups?
Carling Cup: Wow, should I even mention this? 1 shot in regular time? Against Northampton? Fucking kill me now. I'm still not over this. I just can't write about it right now. We weren't robbed. If anything, if we had won on penalties it would have been a travesty.

Europa League: Unspectacular wins against Rabotnicki Kometal (they're Macedonian if you must know) and Trabzonspor. And Trab? We won solidly but nothing convincing. The win against Steaua Bucharest was the result of the season, but even that game was evenly played at the half. We didn't really show our dominance until later in the game.

So there we go, so far what do we have to go on? A team that looks even worse than last year, and with the results to prove it. Why are we waiting to sack him? He clearly sucks ass. Let's look at the upcoming fixtures:
Europa: At Utrecht
Premier League: Blackpool, at Everton

So let's look at this. A loss against Utrecht hurts our best chance at a trophy this year, and points lost against Blackpool or Everton would submarine the season. Six points gets us back on track, but if you can't beat Blackpool, who can you beat? Sure they've gotten some results, but they play attacking football and their defense sucks. We have Torres, Gerrard, not to mention a host of other players who can score. We should absolutely throttle them. And Everton sucks right now and we need to beat them in the derby. It's the only way the fans won't kill the man.

Now, his record does seem to be quite nice. He took a struggling, relegation-threatened team in Fulham and made them into a punch-above-their-weight Europa League team. That's all well and good, but do you know why he was such a shock appointment to Fulham? His absolutely disastrous time with Blackburn. He took a team that had won the league two years prior and had a great first season, getting them 6th (after a previous 13th) and into the UEFA Cup. He then followed this up by doing so poorly in the transfer window and subsequent season that he was sacked in December with Rovers at the bottom of the table. He did wonders with Fulham, but how much of that was luck, and how much of it is the type of manager he is. Some managers are great at avoiding relegation and midtable mediocrity (Big Sam), but despite that fat man's claims, would suck royal cock at a top club. Some are great cup managers (I've always felt Benitez is more of a cup manager for instance) but lack the squad and man management abilities for long seasons. And some are great for teams to collectively believe and punch above their weight. This would not be a disastrous start for Fulham. A draw with Arsenal, losses to City and United, a win against WBA and then draws against Birmingham (at St Andrews) and Sunderland. He wouldn't make a big deal of any of those. But he isn't at Fulham. This is Liverpool. He needs to do better than 12th. He needs to do better than 7th (eventually). He has the talent to beat any team in the league, and the talent to beat most of them consistently. If he doesn't play that way, if he continues to play timid teams looking to hold onto to draws and hope for a counterattack goal, he is going to do the same thing he did at Rovers. Liverpool will be in a relegation scrape and he'll in be the unemployment line. Let's hope he wises up before that.

Sometimes Pique, You Know, Turns The Head

2010-08-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

I don't mean to be mean due to Guardiola's surprisingly good English given his complete lack of playing time in an English speaking nation. But his explanation of the infamous Barca-shirt-on-Fabregas incident after the World Cup is hilarious. Enjoy

Ronaldinho Video Tribute

2010-08-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

Ronadinho was back at the Camp Nou as a Milanista today, and the Blaugrana didn't disappoint with an absolutely brilliant video homage to the buck-toothed wonder. ¡Que homenaje!

EPL Power Rankings Week 2

2010-08-24T16:38:00.001-07:00

I just did the recap, so here are the power ranking for week 2.

1. Chelsea Last week: 1
Well, they're the only team with 2 wins. They won both games 6-0. They have the most experienced squad of talented veterans in the league. They won it all last season. This was not a hard choice.

2. Tottenham Hotspur Last week: 5
It's early season, so these are very volatile rankings. It's really a composite of who looks best right now. Amazingly, only one team has won both of its games, so it's rather tough to judge on the rest of these. Spurs are a Joe Hart away from having taken both games, against City and at Stoke, which are both impressive fixtures. They've been menacing and free-flowing so far this season and while they may not have the pedigree, purely on performance I believe them to be deservedly in 2nd.

3. Manchester United Last week: 2
Only one dropped spot for the Red Devils and I still think most teams would rather play Spurs than them anyways. There's plenty of season left, but really all they've done is beat a bizarre Newcastle team and then slump to a draw at Fulham. They should have won there too to be fair. Never write them off though. Never write them off.

4. Manchester City Last week: 7
Well, they got a gutty draw against Spurs and then dismantled Liverpool. Definitely showing some signs of pedigree. Milner and Barry combined beautifully together, almost as if they had played with each other before....Sarcasm aside, they are starting to look scary. The team is rounding out. I can't wait to see them against the real big boys.

5. Arsenal Last week: 6
Sure, it was a spanking, but how much can you really go up on a home win against Blackpool. Certainly not more impressive than City, which is why Arsenal is here. Good to see them get their heads back on straight though, and if they can keep Cesc healthy, this team could really challenge.

6. Liverpool Last week: 4
I know what you're saying. 1 point from two games?! 17th in the table yet 6th in the rankings?! Look, it's still about who would you rather play. And until one of the midtable clubs starts knocking off teams above them as opposed to each other, I don't think anyone will fancy Liverpool before they face Birmingham or Bolton. Were they awful? Oh yes, but until they start dropping against teams like say, idk, WBA this weekend, we'll have to hold judgment.

7. Birmingham City Last week: 14
OK, so the listings are volatile. They finished top half last year, and after a great fightback and then a solid home win, they are just looking like the little engine that could all over again.

8. Newcastle United Last week: 18
This will almost assuredly be the biggest jump of the year. Getting killed at Old Trafford has happened to many great teams. So to follow that up with a slaughter of Villa back at home has to feel great. Who knows, maybe this team is for real. We just need more games to really see. But, one thing is for sure, no one wants to go to St James Park.

9. Bolton Wanderers Last week: 12
They should have gotten 3 last week, and they snuck in and took 3 this week. However the points come is fine. A comfortable win it shouldn't have been, but thats how it ended up, and while Burnley may never forgive Coyle he is doing fine with Bolton.

10. Everton Last week: 11
How do they go up despite a draw with Wolves? Well they were a far better team and based off of pure talent, they really shouldn't start falling down this list until they consistently start losing to these shitty teams. And then all bets are off.

11. Aston Villa Last week: 3
Speaking of which, nice Villa. Absolutely killed by a newly-promoted side. At least we know Villa will probably bring in a manager now as opposed to a caretaker. In terms of talent and fear value they probably deserve to be a bit higher, but my new rule is that if you lose 6-0 to a team not in Europe, it's going to take some work to get back into the top half.

12. Wolverhampton Wanderers Last week: 9
Sure, a nice draw. But I just can't endorse such negative football. Granted, I'll allow it at Goodison Park, but let's see how the rest of the season pans out.

13. Blackburn Rovers Last week: 10
Tough loss to Birmingham as they deserved a point, but I wouldn't really ring the alarm bells. Allardyce has midtable mediocrity down to a science.

14. Blackpool Last week: 8
I really had no idea where to put them. They beat the worst team in the league and got pantsed by one of the best. How good are they? No clue. I'm just giving them benefit of the doubt in case they are due in for many many more beatings this year.

15. Fulham Last week: 15
A valiant draw against United despite being outplayed. Combined with a rough opening day, another team that's hard to place.

16. West Bromwich Albion Last week: 19
No shame in getting killed at Stamford Bridge. A lot of credit for winning against Sunderland however. Many kudos for the Baggies and who knows maybe they might stay up for once.

17. Sunderland Last week: 17
Slumped to a gutless draw against Birmingham and then a sad defeat against WBA. Definitely needs some sort of spark as this is a talented team, but they are playing like shit.

18. Stoke City Last week: 16
A very tough loss against Tottenham, but 0 points is 0 points. I'm sure they'll shoot back up this list, but for the time being they're in the mire.

19. West Ham United Last week: 17
An absolute waste of talent and opportunities. I'm still stunned by that game. I have way less faith in them than Stoke and it wouldn't be the first talented but underachieving Hammers team to get relgated.

20. Wigan Athletic Last week: 20
0 points. -10 GD. 2 games. I think that's all that needs to be said.

EPL: Week 2 Recap

2010-08-24T15:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so everybody does Power Rankings. Or so I've heard. Really just Marc Stein, but it's for the NBA, but he's a Man City fan so fuck him. Anyways, here's a new recap section I'm starting. Learn it. Love it.

The weekend on the whole showed that we know precious little about this season, as shock result after shock result materialized. The significance of each game truly remains to be seen, and take all the analysis with a grain of salt.

Arsenal 6 Blackpool 0
Well, an absolutely ass-hammering. Blackpool now knows that Wigan Athletic is very much not the standard fare of the Premier League. Remember when Arsenal played Barcelona and it was Barcelona versus Barcelona Light? This was Arsenal versus Retarded Arsenal. Arsenal was typically not clinical in front of goal but with so many chances, of course they're going to get 6.
What it means:
Well, it's par for the course for Arsenal. It means nothing other than no points were lost and they padded their goal differential. It does show that Blackpool was simply beating up on the single least-inspired professional team in the world last week, and are most likely going to lose a lot of games this season.

Birmingham 2 Blackburn Rovers 1
Ben Foster had a blinder and Birmingham deservedly won. It was pretty close, and both teams showed that they everything they need to be pillars of mediocrity this season.
What it means:
Not much to report on here, as early season football in the midtable rarely has. I would say Foster could do wonders to restore his reputation. Not everyone succeeds by being thrown into the pressure cooker of Old Trafford with little experience, and Birmingham made Hart a winner, maybe it can do the same with Foster. Onto the clubs, well 3 points for Birmingham is all that really matters.

Everton 1 Wolverhampton 1
Ugh. Everton. What a cocktease. So much talent, and so many second half surges, but why on Earth can they not pick up points before Christmas? Wolves at home should be an easy game for a club with Europa aspirations, and it was to be fair. Wolves were very negative and it was all Everton, but you have to put a few goals in to assure the points if they score on a break. That's why Chelsea slaughters teams. They know not to waste chances and to pile it on. Sounds unfair, but so is Wolves getting a point from this game.
What it means:
Well, it's very early for any real discussion of points, but Wolves already have 4 and Everton have already dropped 5. Everton should really have had 6 points by now, considering their schedule. If they drop too many more, they can lock themselves out of Europa. It sounds ridiculous but there is literally too much talent up top to let themselves slowly warm up again.

Stoke City 1 Tottenham Hotspur 2
Tough luck for Stoke on the Foy strike, and a rather even game otherwise. Brilliant for Tottenham, as we all know how tough it is to get the 3 points at the Britannia. Stoke played great however, and deserved a point.
What it means:
Taking care of tricky fixtures are where positions are won and lost, and so this is a great start for Spurs. Stoke were unlucky but they seem to have the pedigree to not sweat one loss at home now. They are on 0 points after two games, which is always distressing, but in a league with Blackpool, WBA and Wigan, they should feel safe.

WBA 1 Sunderland 0
Speaking of West Brom, how the fuck did this happen?! They didn't just win; they were a better team. Great stuff. Positive football paid off for them, but where exactly is Sunderland right now? Kenwyne Jones can't be that good can he?
What it means
I don't know if Sunderland has progressed from "staying up and midtable" to Europa for expectations, but like Everton, 1 point from 2 matches is not the way to do it. Poor showing against the Baggies. But as always, vital vital points for West Brom, who will undoubtedly be in the thick of the relegation battle.

West Ham United 1 Bolton Wanderers 3
Classic West Ham. Absolutely dominate the first half, get a penalty and bombard Bolton and still somehow go into the break 0-0. A bad break (Upson OG) and before you can say Elmander, you lose 3 1. West Ham were much better in the first half and deserved a couple scores but nothing went in. Bolton capitalized on defensive errors and waltzed away with 3 points.
What it means
This game was most important for Avram Grant. He is an underrated manager and I was happy to see him get the job, but they have Manchester United and Chelsea as their next two fixtures, and with him presumably staring at 0 points from 4 games come that time, the vultures may start circling. It'd be grossly unfair, but that's football. West ham should have enough talent to not worry about relegation, but with them you never know. Classy start thusfar by Bolton though.

Wigan Athletic 0 Chelsea 6
Most predictable result of the weekend. Wigan suck. Chelsea kills shitty teams with no mistake. OK I guess that sums it up.
What it means
Surely Wigan didn't expect much, but the absolute hammering they're getting week in and week out has to be psychologically damaging and this team looks like they want to call it a year already. The clock has to start ticking on Martinez if this keeps up. But hey Chelsea, way to take care of business.

Newcastle United 6 Aston Villa 0
And now to the least predictable result. Aston Villa were much better until Newcastle scored...12 minutes in. Carew had a god awful penalty, but really, how on Earth did this happen? An absolute mauling. Villa looked completely sunk. I'm still in shock on how this happened.
What it means
I honestly don't know. Is Newcastle halfway decent or is Aston Villa halfway horrendous? Newcastle has the shameless 3-0 beating at Old Trafford and Villa had the impressive win against West Ham, which was unfortunately only against West Ham. This game is the start of a very incomplete sample or a complete anomaly. I have no fucking idea.

Fulham 2 Manchester United 2
How do they do it? Year after year, Craven Cottage is a house of horrors for the Red Devils. United should have won, but valiant Fulham held on with a great PK save and a header that has been described as "towering" by every news outlet. It's a shame Dempsey was taken off so early, as he appears to not be impressing Hughes too much.
What it means
I wouldn't read too much into it. Solid result for Sparky, and one to build on, and lost points for United, but it probably will just mean Nani won't take a PK again for a loooooong time.

Manchester City 3 Liverpool 0
Ugh. Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. City were much better all game. And Adam Johnson is a cunt. Absolutely. He is a diver and a whiner. I went from ambivalent to anathema in about...30 minutes. Was part of it because he was absolutely murdering us? Yes....but he's still a cunt.
What it means
Exactly what you think it means. Until otherwise notified, Liverpool is not Champions League caliber. Manchester City is getting there, but no, unless it is shown to the contrary, Liverpool is a upper-midtable club.

EPL Power Rankings: Week 1

2010-08-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

Alright I didn't actually do a preliminary rankings because I forgot, but this is fine, as I can just start it up with the first week of action. Disclaimer: squad strength is a factor right now, so Blackpool will NOT be 2nd in rankings due to the second best result of the week. I look at Power Rankings of "who is the last team you want to face right now." So, without further ado, here is the first week.

1. Chelsea
This shouldn't be too surprising. A 6-0 home thrashing of the baggies and the reigning champions. Nobody beats up on bad teams better.

2. Manchester United
Just finished up their whooping of Newcastle, and while the rest of the Champions League contenders had tougher matches, you have to look at the strength of their performance, and they'll fall soon enough if they aren't up to snuff.

3. Aston Villa
Obviously a generous ranking, and with the imminent loss of Milner, it remains to be seen how they can stay up here. But a highly impressive performance in light of tough circumstances. I doubt they'll stay up here though.

4. Liverpool
This is a bit of a toss-up between Spurs, but Liverpool I felt were more impressive given the circumstances. Outside of a Reina gaff, a 10-men side would have prevailed despite the Anfield chaos. Encouraging start.

5. Tottenham Hotspur
Really should have won, I don't know how they bottled it. Clearly the superior team, but Joe Hart was too good. The team lacks an undeniably world-beater player and maybe that will be their downfall. No individual could provide the necessary spark.

6. Arsenal
Weak display at Anfield, but a tough match to really judge on. No Fabregas, and facing a team looking to impress. They were gifted a draw, but wouldn't be too much lower regardless due to their quality.

7. Manchester City
Despite the talent, the Citizens were thoroughly outplayed by Spurs. The real question is whether they can really create a good enough squad without CL football to actually GET to CL football. A team full of talented castoffs from other CL teams will have to do, and it may be just a matter of time, but this team isn't instilling fear right now.

8. Blackpool
See! I'd put them in eventually. Look, unless they knock off a top contender, I can't honestly put them above them. But if we're in the "best of the rest" category, a 4-0 away pummeling of Wigan is a nice way to say hello the Premier League. We have seen Hull and Burnley both hit huge highs and then quickly flee the Premier League in the past, and "shoestring" budgets tend to be ill-fated. But for one week, Blackpool is on top of the world.

9. Wolverhampton Wanderers
Another surprise top half player! A solid and deserved win over a notoriously tough Stoke side is always a ticket to survival, and considering half the teams, teams like wolves, are just trying to survive the year, well done.

10. Blackburn Rovers
Another goalie gaff, but well-played by Blackburn to hold onto the game afterward. My vitriol for Allardyce withstanding, it was a solid match for Rovers, and one that will inevitably catapult them to a mid-table finish.

11. Everton
The highest spot for a losing team, Everton has a very talented squad that is notoriously slow-starting. If they ever want to truly compete, David Moyes has to figure out to get his team more engaged in the first half of the season instead of becoming a constant second-half surge.

12. Bolton Wanderers
They were clearly the better team against the Cottagers, and they were unlucky not to get all the points. Stu Holden had a great showing, and is doing wonders for repairing his reputation in England.

13. Sunderland
Absolutely collapsed when left with ten men, they'll get the nod over their rivals for being the better team when on equal footing. Despite that, their absolutely melt-down after the red card is worrisome.

14. Birmingham
Last year's Cinderella top-half finisher had a great fightback to take a point at the Stadium of Light, but they were definitely the worse team for the majority of the contest. Will Paul Robinson be able to fill Joe Hart's shoes? Not likely.

15. Fulham
A rather dull first match for Sparky, and very little to say about Fulham's performance. Other than, why didn't you start Dempsey?

16. Stoke City
Now, it is unfair for Stoke as they started the season away from their fabled Britannia stadium, but they were soundly beaten by Wolves. Wolves! That's bad enough, but for their sake they have to hope Kenwyne Jones is ok.

17. West Ham United
Solidly dismantled by Villa, West Ham have always been underachievers. They have plenty of talent, but this team cannot keep it together. It'll probably be another relegation dogfight in which they scrap to 15th again.

18. Newcastle United
Never easy to start the season at Old Trafford, and the Magpies showed why. They were wrecked on the first game back, and they'll have to show a lot more fight if they want to stay up.

19. West Bromwich Albion
Sometimes, you just know. WBA is going to get rocked a lot this season. This isn't the first, though it'll be one of the worst. Their defending is bad and they can't score. Bad combo.

20. Wigan Athletic
Wow. I mean WOW. To be fair, they should have not lost 4-0. They should have lost 8-1 (they did have that one disallowed goal...). They were SLAUGHTERED from the getgo. I couldn't believe it. It was a train wreck. It was absolutely unbelievable how badly they played, and Kirkland may not be able to goalkeep at this level anymore, as that was a horror show that Ben Foster couldn't watch. Wow Wigan. Wow.

Unbelievable

2010-08-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

This:

cheated on this:

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

That is all.

Young Player Watch: Dani Pacheco

2010-08-10T13:27:00.000-07:00

Dani Pacheco Liverpool

Dani Pacheco Lobato is just another in the long line of talent streaming out of la cantera of Barcelona. Though, like many, he isn't not actually Catalan, but instead Andalusian. He was poach--err signed from Malaga to Barcelona, and in turn was poached by the scousers. As a player, the Liverpool first-teamer he has most in common with would be...Joe Cole. He's a short, quick player who likes to use trickery to make space and likes to operate behind the striker. These players are a dime-a-dozen in La Liga, but not to the same degree in the Premiership. To be honest, I was a bit surprised he didn't have more playing time this past year, considering the injury woes and the fact that he really should have been ready to make the leap up to the first team, especially considering the alternatives in the team and his performances in reserves, friendlies and with the Spanish U-19 side. Benitez, while I do not want to detract from all the good he did at Liverpool, had a horror show final season, and not developing Pacheco last year was probably a mistake from both a short and long term perspective. No matter, as he is just 19 and will hopefully feature this coming year.

YouTube Evidence

Haiku
Dani Pacheco
Fernando Torres except
Has working hamstrings

Season Expectations
Hodgson has never been afraid to take risks on players, and Pacheco has shown himself to be of the top quality. He is still very young, and plays behind a very talented (but historically very crocked) attacking group, which could lead him into competition against David Ngog. Not the world's most daunting task. If Liverpool stay healthy all year, probably only some cup action but if the injury bug plagues Anfield, expect a call for Pacheco.

Young Player Watch: Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez

2010-08-04T17:45:00.000-07:00

The season is nearly upon us, as the Charity Shield is this coming Sunday! Excitement all around. Ligue 1 starts this week, the Premiership the week after and then a couple weeks later we get La Liga and Serie A. Do remind me how Spain and Italy start so much later and have a winter break to boot? What do they do with all that free time?

Anyways, big-name transfers are always overly-analyzed, where really young players stepping up is what teams are built on. If you aren't Chelski or the Middle Eastlands, you normally can't buy your way to contender, you have to build it. And really, is there anything more satisfying than seeing a talented youngster put it all together? Now, instead of a massive list that comes out in a week, I'm going to do one player at a time. Today's Edition: Chicharito

Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez Manchester United

Baby-faced is a bit of an understatement for the little pea. For those who are curious, Chicharito is so-named as his father, another footballer, was Chicharo for his green eyes. Continuing on with his play, this isn't nearly as sexy a pick as it would have been in say, I don't know, May? Chicharito had a fantastic World Cup and scored two great goals. He was found to be statistically the fastest player in the tournament, reaching a speed of 32.15km/hr, which is, if you're curious, the same top speed as a black mamba snake and a road runner.
One in the same
For some more gory details, here you go:
Backstory:
As I previously mentioned, Chicharito is a play off of his father's nickname. The little pea comes quite the distinguished footballing heritage, with a grandfather and a father who both played professionally. And his maternal grandfather, making him 100% genetically destined for greatness. Tomás Balcázar, his grandfather, was a member of the legendary Guadalajara team that 8 out of 10 titles in the mid-50s to 60s and represented Mexico internationally. His father, Chicharo, or Javier Hernández Gutiérrez by more formal definitions, was his reserve side manager at Guadalajara, and actually quit this past summer when denied leave to watch his son at the World Cup. Anyways, Chicharo was capped 28 times for Mexico and played at the 1986 World Cup and had a distinguished career in Mexican football, most notably for Tecos.

Oh I'm sorry, I forgot to mention the actual young player didn't I?

Without much further ado, he is a product of the club of his grandfather (Guadalajara for those without good attention spans) and has played there for his entire career prior to the Mancs. He moved his way up the ranks, jumping from the lower division teams up to the big leagues. He missed out on the Mexico U17 Team that won the 2005 U17 World Cup due to injury but was in Canada for the U20 World Cup where Mexico...did not medal. Sorry I have to get my digs in. Anyways, his goalscoring record in Mexico was pretty suspect until the last couple of years (rather expected for his age) and finished joint-third top in the 2009 Apertura and is (still) leading the current Bicentenario with 10 goals in 11 appearances. His scoring record for the senior team is formidable, with 9 goals in his 16 appearances.

YouTube Evidence

Haiku
Baby-faced striker
Soon to replace CR7
As eyebrow model

Probable Role
Striker depth isn't great at the Field of Dreams lately, particularly with the lack of support for Berbatov. If Berba can't turn it around early this year, expect Chicharito to get his fair share of chances, particularly in the early-round cup ties and relegation-fodder EPL matches. If he can prove as prolific there, expect him to supplant Berbatov in the hearts and minds of Mancs by season's end.

Torres Makes Me Very Very Very Happy

2010-08-04T15:11:00.001-07:00

Look, it was a hard year to be a Fernando Torres fan. He was showing a dangerous propensity for being crocked, and struggled (to put it lightly) in this World Cup. I've always been a big Torres fan, back from when he was the Flag of Atleti, and needless to say I was over the moon when he was signed by Liverpool. He has clearly not disappointed, when healthy, and it is hard to remember that after such a miserable last campaign. When I was bombarded by thousands of transfers rumors involving El Nino, I began to accept them. When I heard 80 million pounds to City, all I could think about was rebuilding the team and what if he stays crocked? I had my doubts, because the tabloids had convinced me he was leaving. In the end though, it's great to have him back. I'm already talking myself into a front four of Cole, Gerrard, Aquilani and Torres that will lift Liverpool to overdue glory! So, in short, welcome back Fernando and YNWA.

If he signs for Chelsea or City before September, I will shoot someone.

Cherundolo Captain at Hannover

2010-08-03T11:45:00.000-07:00

Steve Cherundolo, who has put in a stellar twelve seasons with Hannover 96, has been named team captain for next year. I'm not fact-checking myself, but I believe the only other American to be named captain of a Bundesliga side is Claudio Reyna with Wolfsburg (where he amazingly did it while on loan). Cherundolo has always been a class act and consummate professional, who once declined a move to Bolton to stay a one-club man. He has actually stated he loves nothing more than being a player who can find a fan following who appreciates him and then stay, no matter what possibly greener pastures lie elsewhere, with that club. It couldn't happen to a better guy and professional, and best of luck to Hannover 96 this coming season.

Barca Could Face Fine If Messi Doesn't Play

2010-08-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

Barcelona is in South Korea right now, and in true MLS fashion, they are playing a friendly against the K-League All-Stars. Now, while American fans were thrilled to see any Man U players (and I'm sure many Houstonians were thrilled to see Chicharito), Barca could face a 200,000Euro fine if Messi does not play 30 minutes tomorrow. I'm sure this was in the print somewhere, but this is rather absurd. I can understand the South Koreans desire to see arguably the best player in the world at least make a cameo, but this is one part of the money-grubbing side of football that really rubs me the wrong way. Obviously he's very well-paid for his troubles, but this has a distinct "DANCE MONKEY DANCE" feel to it. Yet again, these games are purely for Barca to make cash that they (apparently so desperately) need, but still, this is all going to look pretty stupid if some overzealous South Korean snaps his ankle off.

Bored with terrestial dominance, Messi moves to the sea

2010-08-03T11:30:00.001-07:00

Messi (and his lovely lady) doing a little R+R swimming with the Dolphins.

Marquez Joins Red Bull-olution

2010-08-03T00:49:00.000-07:00

Rafa Marquez has joined the New York Red Bulls, definitively proving that the MLS is apparently good enough for all squad/bench players of Barcelona. Vaya Bojan! Apparently, Henry and Marquez drew the short straw compared to Yaya Toure's mega-money signing with City, but regardless, it is quite a coup for a team that just last year was a total and utter joke, but in the dynamic world of MLS, NYRB are now in 2nd in the East, and just happened to add some world-class talent to their side. I know I wrote a rather negative account of Henry's move, but I am big enough to admit I might be overly-negative. Instead of slowly losing their grip on dominance, and fading dimmer and dimmer into the limelight, a shell of their former selves, maybe stars will now play for a big, final payday in the States while they are still at 80% of their powers. This is not complaining; this is progress! I remember hearing in an interview Drogba entertaining the idea, and while I wouldn't believe it then, why not now? One thing that cannot be escaped is that for very rich people, the good ole US of A is not too shabby. Perhaps due in part to the relative anonymity they can receive here, but I feel like in a large percentage of stories I read about player vacations, they vacation here. Cristiano Ronaldo with the LA Galaxy? After Portugal's ignominous exit from the 2018 World Cup, COUNT ON IT. That's right. Take that to the bank.

Could this be a random blip, soon to be forgotten? Perhaps. But I honestly believe the tide is turning. I lived in Barcelona for 6 months, which was enough time for all of Barcelona to convince me that Henry was, in fact, a washed-up has-been. This is probably wrong. Even so, has-been Henry is still a lot better in-his-prime Buddle. And Marquez is better than Goodson, even in a decade. So, we're becoming a way for players to leave on top in Europe, and continue playing the game they love, in front of thousands of fans while being paid comparable salaries to back home (they are DP's after all, not squad-MLSers). The competition is good, and they might even have to break a sweat to win some trophies. But most importantly, everyone in Europe is starting to know some MLS. Every football fan in Europe now knows TWO MLS teams. As I said, this is not complaining. This is progress.

STILL GOT IT

2010-08-03T00:43:00.000-07:00

Raul is just showing that he, indeed, still has "it."

Dani Alves is just happy to be here

2010-08-02T22:49:00.000-07:00

Barca kicks off their Asian tour, and Dani Alves could not be more excited:

Fox NY sets back soccer 30 years

2010-07-21T20:49:00.001-07:00

Wow, what can I say to this? This is the worst thing I have ever seen. First off, no research. ON ANYTHING. Not who won the last world cup, not if the MLS was playing and not even how to pronounce his name! God this is embarrassing. Yes, so this is an absurd interview that I cannot believe happened. Sigh.

Michael Ballack Sucks Even More

2010-07-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

I make no bones about the fact that I hate Michael Ballack. He's a douche, plain and simple. I hated Germany (before he was injured) simply because he played for them, despite liking several players on that team. I hate Chelsea simply because he plays for them (along with John Terry, Ashley Cole and Ricardo Carvalho). Watching him scream in anger at the referee following the contentious tie with Barcelona a couple years ago filled my heart with delicious schadenfreude. Needless to say, I don't like Michael Ballack. The fact that he is making himself even more hateable would seem music to my hears, but this is despicable:

Ballack blames "Gay players" for Germany's loss

Henry to join New York Red Bulls

2010-07-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

So, handball specialist Thierry Henry is set to join the New York Red Bulls. Sigh. Not exactly helping the MLS shed its image. Look, this obviously makes sense on every level. Henry can still compete. He (should) be the best striker in MLS next season. The Red Bulls need him. He wants to be a star again, and this is probably the least embarrasing place to do it (would you rather live in New York or Krakow?). But it is sad that the MLS is still looking to be a retirement home than an academy. Look, it's one thing when Americans come home. That's great. McBride, Reyna, Keller, come on home when you like. Nobody thinks twice when Henrik Larsson goes back to Sweden, and similarly with American players. But, with Henry coming off the worst year of his career, when he's looking over-the-hill and out-of-form, to come over just reinforces the idea in everyone else's head that we are an inferior league. Look, Henry was a world-beater. He was without question one of the best strikers in the world for the better part of a decade. He is a better footballer than Beckham will ever be. But for all of that, I'd take a Freddy Montero over a Thierry Henry 10 out of 10 times in this situation, and hopefully he does decent. Well enough to show he still has some, but not well enough to embarrass the league. See? I never have to worry about this sort of stuff when Juan Pablo Angel comes over....

What to take away from the World Cup (as Americans)

2010-07-14T15:25:00.001-07:00

If you read this site, you most likely know me well. And not only that, you most likely follow soccer closely. To be more specific, you're probably one of two people. Given all of this, I know what you read, and I'll you will most likely read dozens of best and worst of lists regarding this past World Cup. Some are rather obvious (France had a poor tournament by some measures or Emile Heskey would not lead the USL-2 in scoring) and others are more debateable (possession football is here to stay and dominate the world or Nigel de Jong should star in the next Airbender movie). Regardless, most everything will be covered and dissected. Most importantly, this picture will scar all of our brains forever:

Work it Fabio, work it

Anyways, I guess what is more pertinent, and what I can address far better, is that of how soccer has changed in perception in the United States. I work as a bartender in a small Massachusetts town. It's a mix of blue and white collar, and of poor, middle class and wealthy. It's a rather good mix of American culture. Out of everyone who ever came in, a solitary one could intelligently talk to me about any of the players, tactics or strategies involved, and had some base knowledge of the players themselves. Everyone else was somewhere between indignantly and gloriously ignorant, and enthusiastic about learning. First off, one thing that continues to confuse me is that all of these people had a dramatically hard time figuring out what I meant by club football. The fact that these players played 90% of the football wearing a different shirt was truly bizarre to them, and I don't think they could really understand that it's more natural for me to see Messi in the Blaugrana than in the Albiceleste. I generally used this as an instant defence when games were a little duller than anticipated. I used the Olympics reference, constantly, but this only resonated with big hockey fans (who can actually relate to this phenomenon). Many were upset that the rules were explicitly explained each game (a little refersher course on offsides and studs up tackles I guess) and I casually explained that this is clearly not allowed:

Anyways, I started to ramble so it was good that Nigel kicked me out of that daze. Soccer is not going to hit the big time in the United States for a long long time. And, as we have always said, it will be down to the MLS to become the world's Premier League. That, or absolutely flood the rest of the world with American prodigies. Sadly, I don't know which is less realistic. I think we can get to a point where Americans will LOVE the World Cup; we're already getting close. But it'll be the Olympics. We will watch it, learn the guys who weren't there last time, get involved, maybe follow up a little bit after the tournament and forget it by October. And this is even with a win in my opinion. Look, Lance Armstrong has done amazing things and I have a ton of respect for him, but it's not like every kid is now picking up a bike and dreaming of the Alpine climbs. People get interested for a bit, and then move on. I actually heard a guy on ESPN say we should do the World Cup every 2 years, because that way people would care more. Who would care more? The thing is, the rest of the world could not care less about how much we care. They make PLENTY of money without us, and the sport is not hurting by any measure. And I'm sure all the America-haters love the fact that some team of Yankee Doodle Dipshits (shoutout to Colin) isn't sending them packing with a 6-0 drubbing.

Soccer will get more popular for sure, but at the end of the day there is a ceiling. Even if soccer corners the market of EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN who would want to closely follow a foreign league, they would still be nowhere near the big sports. Unless Americans were absolutely flooding other leagues, I just don't see Joe Six-Pack waking up for an 11-in-the-morning game between a bunch of DAMN FOREIGNERS. And then they turn on the MLS, and it's like watching a high school all-star game, but without the drama. I don't want to bash the MLS, but even the biggest baseball fans don't watch the minors, why will most Americans? Americans need a reason to care every week. If the New England Revolution were playing the Seattle Sounders, and both teams were stacked with the best players in the world, and some were Americans who had went to the World Cup Semis the year before, yes then I think we will have made it. The odds of that? Miniscule. So many factors have to converge. A golden generation of players will just be flung across Europe, and while they'll do wonders for inspiring more kids to play soccer (not to mention the Latin influence on soccer popularity) but all of this won't matter if the MLS isn't a top league. Which means we need more money. Lots more money. Buy 2004 Thierry Henry, not 2010. Buy 2001 David Beckham, not 2007. We need high quality games in the USA, and often. Until then, soccer will be forever a sport on the fringe in the US. It'll be given its moment of light every four years, and then it'll disappear in the shadows of foreign languages and time zone differences. Because at the end of the day, it just isn't ingrained into the American culture, at all. I have never played organized baseball in my life. But I know all the rules, I know how to catch, swing a bat and throw a (halfway decent) pitch. I barely played organized football, but I know every position, can throw a spiral and know what exotic terms like "chop block" and "alligator hands" mean. My point is, it's just so ingrained in the culture, you pick it up simply by growing up here. Soccer isn't at that level. Most Americans can't kick a laces-up shot, and most don't even know what an offside trap is. They don't know how to chip a shot, and heaven forbid you mention curve. It's something that has to be pursued, not something that is built in. And until soccer is able to place its foothold on the culture and ingrain, we will not have a top league in the MLS, and soccer will not be a top 5 sport.

Tuesday Video: Shevchenko

2010-07-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

So, I'm starting a new feature here on Chads United. It's the Tuesday Video link. Now, the reason I'm starting this is because A) we haven't updated in awhile and B) I have Tuesdays off. I also happen to love soccer videos. Here's a quality video (and a trip down memory lane) recalling the great Sheva. I'll probably do a longer piece on him tomorrow, but I thought I'd start with just this. Enjoy:

A fairly exciting moment in my young soccer career.

2009-11-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, so let me just set the stage for you:

This is an ordinary, essentially meaningless regular season game. We have already ensured playoff qualification, we can only affect our seeding at this point in the season. So we go into the game just looking to have fun and score some goals.

The team we're playing is a little bit inferior to us, but not by much; they have some decent players. Anyways, so we dominate the early run of the game but somehow they score first. So no big deal. Eventually we get a corner, which I expertly played into the box for my #1 target man, the 6'3" Ben "Peter Crouch" Rittenhouse. He finished it, and we're level.

Then, after a lot of really ambiguous and ugly play, a mistake in the defense saw us go down 2-1. Ugh, right? But we still have like 30 minutes so we're good.

Well, 27 minutes go by and we are playing awfully. We can't keep the ball on the ground, it's just not good. So anyways, the ref calls out "3 minutes left!" and so we get desperate. My good buddy Dan Boghean plays a long ball up the field, basically at the goal but a little off to the left... anyways, I was cherry picking (with my back to the goal, even with the post and maybe 10 feet from the endline), hoping to tee up a team mate with another of my skillful passes. As the ball comes to me, I realize that nobody is in a good position for a shot so I made a last second decision to blindly take a shot on goal. Well, this turned out to be a fabulous decision because about a tenth of a second after I swiped at Danny-Bo's pass, I heard that wonderful clink of the woodwork, followed by a chorus of "F***s!" from the other team. I looked behind me to see the ball in the back of the ol' onion bag. Suck on that, other team, it's 2-2!

So at this point we are all majorly jacked up. I felt kind of embarassed at scoring such a ludicrous goal at such a time in the game, but whatever, it was more of a sweet feeling than a shameful one. So anyways there's like less than a minute left by now. They take the kick off, then immediately proceed to turn the ball over to Luke "I am literally from a town called Goochville" Gall, who then fed the aforementioned Romanian Dan Boghean on the left. The opposition had NOBODY on that side of the field, and I mean nobody. Dan bolted towards goal with the ball, put a little oakey-doke on the keeper, and buried it. ACF AFC leads for the first time,3-2.

A few short moments later, the ref blows the whistle, game over, we win. SO SICK. One of the best finishes I've ever played in, though the rest of the game was definitely sub-par. But yeah, great time! That team was so pissed... Bring on the playoffs!!

Absurd

2009-11-11T07:13:00.001-08:00

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DpXpPZ1RsP3Y%26feature%3Dplayer_embedded&h=ecf2bbc6aca205e6676e5f49d8d3cf05

I do not have time to give this clip justice, but this is absurd. Obviously, Drogba overreacted, but come on! If any cards are going to be thrown down, Man U should be on the receiving end.

Power Rankings, September 20

2009-09-20T12:14:00.000-07:00

Ok guys, another week is in the bag, and another set of Power Rankings on the way. A thriller in Manchester left City unable to break into the top 2, but they have now firmly solidified themselves as not only Top 4 contenders, but title contenders. Tottenham seems to have fallen back to Earth, and sad to say, it looks like anything better than 6th will be a tall order for Spurs, especially considering the resurgent Villans. Without any further ado, here are the rankings.

1. Chelsea Last Week: 1
And the vice grip on first remains! Chelsea is looking rather tough to top this year, and after dismantling Spurs, they are showing that most teams just aren't in their class. Two huge questions for Chelsea now though. How long is Drogba out? And who will score?

2. Manchester United Last Week: 2
Man United is looking rather frisky already this year. An absolutely thrilling derby win that might just put Michael Owen into...the heart of United fans? Who would ever have thought I would type that one day? Weird times. Well, the Mancs are blowing up, and I think I speak for the soccer-watching community in saying I'm waiting for their match with Chelsea with baited breath.

3. Manchester City Last Week: 3
Well, they really could have jumped to 1 with a big-time win, but, not everything can work out so splendidly for the Middle Eastlands. They're much better than anyone really predicted, and Sparky deserves boatloads of credit, especially considering how much shit was talked about him (myself included) and they were quite unlucky to lose that match to United. A great derby, it showed their on equal footing with United. Watch out, they could win this thing.

4. Arsenal Last Week: 5
Well, two tough losses to teams above them in the rankings shouldn't throw them down the list. Another comprehensive blowout of a lesser team shows that while Arsenal still has some figuring out to do when it comes to beating other top sides (this will be most worrying in the Champions League), nobody destroys lesser teams better right now. Comprehensive blowout of Wigan, and I'll be interested to see how they do at the Cottage this weekend.

5. Tottenham Hotspur Last Week: 4
Well, they just pulled an Arsenal. They lost twice in a row to better teams and are getting written off. I don't think they're contenders, and really, it'll be a miracle if they make the Top 4, but they're a strong side who is really punching above their weight right now. Let's hope they can keep it going, but as the season wears on, how will the Lilywhites hold up?

6. Aston Villa Last Week: 7
Look, they beat Portsmouth. Big deal, I know. But really, they haven't lost a Premier League match since their opening loss to Wigan. So, why exactly is everyone down on them? They beat Liverpool and have won everything that they should have. If they can grab another 3 points this weekend at Ewood Park, they'll have a lot at stake when City comes to visit, and if they can get points out of that match, maybe, JUST maybe, they can contend for the Top 4 again.

7. Liverpool Last Week: 6
Title contenders, eh? It's been a rough start to the season for Liverpool. Outside of comprehensive victories against Stoke City and Burnley, they've lost to Tottenham and Villa, and have needed thrilling last-minute finishes to beat West Ham and Bolton, not to mention they had a not-so-convincing Champions League win over some team from Hungary. If anyone is looking vulnerable in the Big Four, it's clearly the Reds, and unless Aquilani channels Zidane when he gets back, things aren't looking up anytime soon. Liverpool is looking like Tottenham of the Berbatov-Keane days. They have some world-class players, but too many average players and a lack of chemistry will prevent them from making the Champions League. Let's hope for my sanity that they turn things around.

8. Burnley Last Week: 13
OK, this part of the table is really hard. Why? Because normally, the way I go about these rankings is I check my table from last week, and see what changed. Normally this doesn't involve every team from 8-12 losing (or drawing with Bolton, which is basically a loss) so I had to go with Burnley, who beat Sunderland despite being significantly outplayed. If Sunderland had held on to win, they'd be 8th, but alas, no one remembers that game they outplayed and lost, and in the end, the points belong to Burnley. And how about David Nugent? Who knew he still had it in him? I think it would be great if he got back to scoring goals, the man has been through hell and back with supporters and it would be sweet vindication for him to hit 15 this season.

9. Sunderland Last Week: 9
One of the more unlucky 3-1 losses you'll see this year, so really, it would be harsh to drop them anywhere, especially considering they put in a great game at Turf Moor, which is quickly turning into Britannia Redux. Sunderland has a real quality side, and I think they can do some damage, but given the strength above them, there is just no way they'll make a European competition without winning a Cup.

10. Stoke City Last Week: 10
Look, I know Stoke is not a great traveling side, but really, only a point against Bolton? Poor form. To be fair, no one was expecting miracles, and they were rather unlucky to give away a penalty in the 89th, but those points are lost nonetheless. Stoke is a more consistent Burnley, in that they won't have wild fluctuations like the Clarets but they won't be beating top teams at home too often either. Well, they can prove that wrong this weekend if they can put a dent in United's title ambitions with an upset.

11. Fulham Last Week: 8
Another awful traveling team, but really, Wolves? A lackluster performance, and frankly, I'm sick of seeing teams that can be world-beaters at home just slump to disappointing loss after disappointing loss on the road. Fulham doesn't look like they'll be able to get back into Europe this season with the emergence of City and Spurs crowding them out, so they should really live it up while they're in it, because they won't be going back.

12. Everton Last Week: 14
They're crawling up the standings, and if they can get a nice little run going, they'll maybe make it back to the top half! They already have three losses on the campaign, so they'll need quite a run to really make any sort of attempt to get into Europe. However, unlike the teams I just said weren't good enough, Everton is good enough, and at this point have only one less loss than Tottenham. But no more joking around, results like today's need to become commonplace, and Everton needs to get back to business.

13. Wigan Athletic Last Week: 11
I know, I know. Birmingham and Wolves have one more point! Not really relevant, as Wigan is a better team than either. They just happened to play Arsenal at home this week, and got pummeled for it. Wigan now has Chelsea to contend with. So, they'll probably drop further in rankings next week, but I expect them to bounce back in the long run. It is always hard to get blown out though, and considering it'll happen this weekend too, I'm curious to see how Martinez can rally the troops.

14. Wolverhampton Wanderers Last Week: 17
A quality win over a disappointing Fulham, you still can't take away the fact that Wolves won just as much as Fulham lost. This year is going to be interesting in the Premier League, as you have tons of team who either seem roughly equal at either the top, the middle and the bottom, and considering we are about 6 or 7 deep in each area, that will make this year's relegation fight quite interesting. The points this weekend were huge, and any result at the Stadium of Light will be just another boost in the arm.

15. Birmingham City Last Week: 16
I mean, it's Hull but still a good win. As I've said before, Birmingham is frightfully boring, and I don't really enjoy writing about them. I don't know anything about them, and don't care to. Another 1-0 game, oh joy! And guess how they scored, wait I'll ruin it, header. YAWN.

16. West Ham United Last Week: 12
Seems like quite a big drop for a team that barely lost to Liverpool, but the situation warranted it. After all Bolton just did it too, how hard can it be? I know the excuses though, it wasn't a game they had to win, blah blah blah. But here's a scary thought: they don't have an easy game until Hull. When is that game you ask? That's 7 games away. They have 6 games they could legitimately lose and could be staring at 4 points after 11 matches. They have following matches upcoming (home games in CAPS): Manchester City, FULHAM, Stoke City, ARSENAL, Sunderland, EVERTON. So, their easiest game there is what? A trip to Britannia or Stadium of Light? Or a home match against Fulham or Everton. Needless to say, sometimes you need to win hard games.

17. Blackburn Rovers Last Week: 15
Really, only above Bolton because they seem feistier, and Bolton just seems to be a touch unlucky. Thoroughly dismantled by the corpse of Everton, which may actually be returning to life. A tough round of matches upcoming for Rovers as well, and they'll really have to capitalize on any chance they get. If that means Blackburn needs to park the bus everywhere they go, I'm sure Allardyce won't mind.

18. Bolton Wanderers Last Week: 18
A lucky draw with Stoke, and a tough loss to Liverpool might mean that this team has more potential than we give it credit for. But, like West Ham, sometimes you have to show that. Like the last few teams, they have a tough schedule after this weekend's match with Birmingham, but to be fair, most teams at this point in the rankings would consider any game hard.

19. Hull City Last Week: 19
And now the two delinquents at the bottom. Hull sucks, simply put. And Phil Brown is an assclown. Jozy Altidore is unfortunately having some issues adjusting to the Premier League, but to be fair, his teammates suck and his coach, and his formations, substitutions and motivational techniques, suck. You know what this all adds up to? It's going to suck to be a Hull City fan.

20. Portsmouth Last Week: 20
The last team to lose 6 games out of the gate in the top flight of English football? 26 years ago in Leicester City. Amazingly they stayed up that year (but not for long). I don't see too much to get hopeful about on the South Coast, and they might challenge Derby County for the worst Premier League season ever. Congratulations Portsmouth, for sucking at unprecedented levels!

Ron Weasley

2009-09-17T07:55:00.001-07:00

http://www.tottenhamhotspur.com/spursxtra.html?utm_source=homepage&utm_medium=thfc-site&utm_campaign=spurs-xtra

1. Visit that site.

2. Scroll down a little bit.

3. Observe the greatest ally that Spurs have (other than the Republic of Croatia).

I have no problem with what Adebayor did (and why we need more of it)

2009-09-15T15:39:00.000-07:00

Look, I'm not talking about the stamp on RVP. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but either way, that sucks and I don't endorse that. What do I endorse? This:

Nothing like that to get the juices flowing right? Look, I realize Arsenal fans were pissed off, and rightly so. But this is what sport is all about. It's about rivalries, tension and (moderate) hatred. I enjoy cheering against certain players as I enjoy cheering for my own. And when you add in the whole scorned-former-player angle? Fantastic! Just like taking your shirt off, this is something that should not warrant a card because it's something that should be an acknowledged aspect of the game. If you want to shower abuse on a former player, and he then scores the goal that downs your hopes? Be prepared for him to showboat. I'd want to, you'd want to, it's human. Nothing is sweeter that revenge, especially in football. As long as you aren't going West Ham-Millwall about it, what's the big deal? Do you watch soccer to watch players disinterestedly pass the ball around and then give a small smile and a wave when they score? The only point of sports is to watch physical art, and with it, the passion it incites. Without passion or feeling, there is no point to sport. So, let's give our players the same freedom. If they want to flip off the home crowd after they dagger them in the 90th, go for it. If they want to goad the defender they just destroyed to get towards the goal, sounds great. And if they want to run the length of the pitch to let their hate-filled former fans know how they really feel, well then soccer is all the better for it.

Power Rankings, September 13

2009-09-13T15:27:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, there has been a bit of hiatus in the maintenance of the glorious Chads United, but it's really because all of us went back to school and are still getting used to having shit to do all day. But anyways, here are the power rankings as of September 13th.

1. Chelsea Last Time: 2
Look, I don't like Chelsea, and they are taking on the habits of another team I really don't like: Manchester United. What habit? The games where they play like garbage, don't take their chances, but get a last-gasp winner to take all the points. You know what teams like this normally do? Oh right, win titles.

2. Manchester United Last Time: 4
Well, it seems like they are doing just fine without Cristiano. Despite one aberration of a loss to Burnley, they've dismantled their two North London rivals and despite their penchant for slow starts, they have started the season in devastatingly good form. Rooney's goal this weekend (the third versus Tottenham) showed off his class, and maybe he is living up to the hype.

3. Manchester City Last Time: 5
Yes, it is rather odd that I've placed a 100% team that just beat a title contender rather thoroughly and only conceded their first goal of the season this weekend in third, but that just is the strength of Manchester United and Chelsea. Yes, a Burnley loss looks bad, and Chelsea haven't looked consistently convincing, but who would you rather play? City are looking much more in the title race than many pundits thought, and having passed their first test of the season rather triumphantly, the question is slowly becoming, who in the Big 4 will be left out?

4. Tottenham Hotspur Last Time: 3
Well, we all knew that Spurs wouldn't last that long at the top didn't we? Despite a rather convincing loss, Spurs shouldn't hang their heads just yet. They're still in great position, and already have one Big Four scalp in the campaign, and if they can take at least a point off of Chelsea, they'll have to be considered just as much in the hunt as any of these top teams. The biggest question for them right now is whether or not Jermain Defoe can keep up his scintillating start.

5. Arsenal Last Time: 1
Ah, the difference a few weeks makes. After dismantling Everton and Portsmouth, we were all ready to crown Arsenal weren't we? Well, the city of Manchester has been rather unkind to them in the last two rounds, and it'll be hard to forget how they were bossed, particularly against City. They are a young team that has lots of natural instability (tons of players moving in and out of starting lineup) and that generally is an advantage, but with two losses on the trot, including one particularly disheartening one this weekend, can they avoid a serious slump?

6. Liverpool Last Time: 6
Well, they have two convincing 4-0 wins over two teams that were promoted in the last two seasons, and that's about all there is to be happy about. A loss at White Hart Lane isn't horrible, but a loss at home to Villa is. Not only did that remove some invincibility factor to Anfield, it inadvertently strengthened a rival as Villa has totally righted the ship. I'm not getting excited over this past win because they followed up a similar destruction of Stoke with an uninspired loss to Villa (though it was a rather unlucky 3-1). A confident win at Upton Park could do wonders.

7. Aston Villa Last Time: 12
Well, Scoops ended his last update on Villa with "Pull yourselves together, Villa!" Well indeed they have. While many could have seen the victory at Anfield as merely a slipup by an inconsistent Liverpool team crumbling under expectations, Villa has grabbed hold of that momentum and beaten the team they finished a spot above last season as well as their local derby. The gulf between 6 and 7 is easily the biggest, and I really would be stunned to see anyone from the current top 6 drop out barring a monumental collapse, you know, not too unlike the one Villa had last year. If Villa can pick up 6 points before City come to town, and get a result then, I'll reevaluate, but until then, have fun in Europa.

8. Fulham Last Time: 10
Fulham has two losses and two wins, not exactly first half material, but what it really comes down to is the competition. They lost to two teams above them in the table and these Power Rankings, one away and one home to Chelsea, and they've won they should have. Fulham is very well-managed and have a quality side, but it'll be a dogfight to get back into the Europa League next season. The most worrying aspect of the Chelsea loss is the possibility that this team can no longer grind out draws against top-shelf clubs at the Cottage, and without that, they'll be back in the bottom half in no time.

9. Sunderland Last Time: 9
Sunderland is something of an enigma and I really don't know what to make of them. To be honest, they'll probably be a lot like Steve Bruce's Wigan: a team that wins when they should, and loses when they should. They lost at Stoke, and then dropped a game to Chelsea. Rather expected. They then let their quality doing the talking against Bolton, Blackburn and Hull. They'll be the best mediocre team in this league, no doubt about it.

10. Stoke City Last Time: 11
Stoke were dreadfully unlucky not to get a point against Chelsea, and outside of the loss at Anfield, that would be more good news for the club. They've remained the same scrappy, difficult-to-beat team with a terrifying home atmosphere, except in this year's more watered-down league, they've become even more formidable. I expect a lot of 1-0, 2-1, 2-0 wins to come out of the Britannia this season, and they'll keep grinding them out to another season up.

11. Wigan Athletic Last Time: 14
It's surprising how bad I consider these teams now that we're in the bottom half. Hopefully in a month the league with have more form, but right now saying that Wigan is on the cusp of being a top-half team seems deranged, but really, who else? They've lost to Wolves, got throttled by Manchester United and are the only team Everton has gotten points from, but despite that, they've beaten Villa, and most importantly, just got a home win over the 12th ranked team, meaning that I am obliged to place Wigan above them. Who is that team you ask?

12. West Ham United Last Time: 7
Well, they SHOULD be better, but they aren't. They really are only in this position because of their talent level, and despite this talent, they've only picked up 4 points. Don't get riled up on me because Burnley has two wins and what not, I'll get to them soon enough. West Ham have been quite good defensively, they are just (unsurprisingly) finding out that Carleton Cole isn't the answer at striker. Actually none of their strikers are the answer. They need goals, and if they don't get them, they better pray they get a lot of 0-0 draws because having to keep clean sheets week in and week out will definitely wear down this defense.

13. Burnley Last Time: 8
It's hard to take a silver lining from losing 7-0 over two weekends, but it WAS at Stamford Bridge and Anfield, and did any of us predict anything different to start this season? No, not at all. Does it mean they're screwed? No, it just means they were able to successfully park the bus against the Red Devils and the Toffees at home, but will probably be lucky to Stoke anyone else this season. They've proven scrappy and look to have a great chance at staying up, and really, that's all they should shoot for. No Europa, no top-table, none of that. Just stay up. And they can.

14. Everton Last Time: 13
We've now reached a group I'd like to call the "Shit-Tastic Seven." You could probably throw West Ham in here too, but they have shown some signs of life. All in all, the following seven teams all fucking suck. Sorry for the profanity, but it needs to be said. So who is the leader of this inept group? Well, the team that should be battling with the Big 6 right now. The team with great talent and team spirit that FINALLY is healthy, and then promptly sucks. They've lost to Burnley and Fulham, got slaughtered by Arsenal and got a win against Wigan. They should be on at least 7 points, they're on 3. I didn't anticipate the Jolean Lescott thing screwing up their precious chemistry so bad, but guess what, I think it did. Bad days for the Toffees.

15. Blackburn Rovers Last Time: 19
So Blackburn is on quite a roll, they're last two games have been a draw and a MULTI-GOAL WIN! Amazing times right now down at Ewood Park. This team is pretty dreadful, but they get the nod purely because of their last two games, where getting 4 out of 6 points is rather respectable most places in the table, and particularly at this one.

16. Birmingham City Last Time: 17
This may be the single most boring team to ever grace the Premier League. The scores of their games thusfar? 1-0, 1-0, 0-0, 2-1, 1-0. 2-1! What a barn-burner! This team can't even lose emphatically, and really, the Birmingham-Stoke 0-0 draw must have led several onlookers to gouge their own eyes out. Almost fascinatingly boring, but not, so instead, just dreadfully so.

17. Wolverhampton Wanderers Last Time: 15
Wolves on the other hand are a harder team to figure out. They have some great games (giving their all at City, beating Wigan) and then their awful ones (getting destroyed by BLACKBURN). Probably the one team in the premier league I have the worst handle on, and that's definitely aided by the fact that I didn't watch the Championship at all last year. Seeing as I can't say anything with any sort of conviction, I'm just going to move on.

18. Bolton Wanderers Last Time: 18
Well, they've gotten significantly better since their loss to Hull (something like that makes you pay attention) and were unlucky to not get a point with Liverpool and then had a way-too-close win against Portsmouth. They're not a quality side, and staying up will be difficult, but for some reason I like Bolton. I don't know why.

19. Hull City Last Time: 16
Ah Hull, what a wild ride you always provide. A surprisingly talented squad, and already have a win and a draw! I would have placed them over Bolton, considering they beat Bolton, but they've also been destroyed twice this season. They were scrappy against Chelsea, and if they can be Good Hull just enough times this season, we might get another season of Orange-Glo Phil.

20. Portsmouth Last Time: 20
At least they have an owner.

Power Rankings: Week 2

2009-08-27T09:13:00.001-07:00

Well, more or less this is week 2. The way the fixtures are, it's rare that there ever will be a time in the season when all teams have played the same number of games. So forgive me if these rankings come in sporadic fashion. In this week we saw Tottenham once again win on the road (and in a derby match to boot), Manchester United and Everton stumbled at the hands (or feet) of Burnley, while Liverpool have cast further doubt on their Champions League ambitions for next season.

1. Arsenal (Last week: 1)- Womping on Pompey 4-1 is nothing we didn't all see coming for the Gunners at this stage in the season. The real litmus test for this Arsenal squad will be how they do in this type of game (vs weaker opponents) down the home stretch in February and March. But until they screw up, they've got the #1 spot.
2. Chelsea (Last week: 2)- Wins over Sunderland and Fulham keep the Blues right where they ought to be in the table (BENEATH SPURS!!!). There's really not much to say, I think everyone except the WSD guys (and look where they ended up...) had the Blues winning these two games. Great, call me when a meaningful game comes along (9/20 vs Tottenham). Seriously, call me, I don't want to miss that game.
3. Tottenham Hotspur (Last week:5)- Top of the league... I mean how often do I get to say that as a Spurs fan? Winning at Hull 5-1 midweek may not be as significant as the sloppy 2-1 away win over West Ham, but it holds a little water in my book, and was certainly more impressive to watch. JD has been running rampant (leading the Premiership in scoring), Modric is a wizard (literally, he performs sorcery on the pitch), and the back four has held it together in the midst of what is supposedly a defensive crisis. Things are looking good for the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.
4. Manchester United (Last week:3)- After stuttering to a 1-0 defeat at Turf Moor, United bounced back (as United do) by dismantling Wigan 5-0. Having watched the match I can confidently say that the scoreline wasn't necessarily deserved, as I was again impressed by Wigan's play, but the Mancs are obviously of an entirely different class than 75% of the league.
5.Manchester City (Last week:6)- 1-0 win over Wolves, while not exactly a confirmation of City's legitimacy, at least was a hardfought victory vs able opponents. City still have a lot to prove, but their potential has them rising up the rankings.
6. Liverpool (Last week:4)- The Pool looked to have righted the ship with a 4-0 thrashing of Stoke, only to let Villa walk away from Anfield with three points a few days later. Liverpool are a team who I thought had legitimate title ambitions, but it is looking more and more possible (even likely) that they will finish outside the top 4. You can make a convincing argument that both City and Tottenham have deeper squads than Liverpool, and though their starting XI's may not fully compare, over the course of a season the depth could win out, leaving the Reds to battle for the Europa League crown in 2010-11.
7.West Ham (Last week:10)- The Hammers looked halfway decent against Spurs (even through their loss) at the weekend; Carlton Cole's goal was absolutely nasty (though his throughball was equally as memorable for all the wrong reasons), and Scott Parker looks good enough to have "transfer request" written all over him when Liverpool come knocking in the near future (you heard it here first!).
8. Burnley (Last week:20)- Wow. When I said they had something to prove before I moved them off the bottom... I didn't think they'd actually do it! 1-0 victories over Man United and Everton have the current play-off champions sitting pretty in 7th place in the table. I sincerely hope they can keep this form up and avoid doing a Hull.
9. Sunderland (last week:16)- A loss to Chelsea was forseeable, as most likely was a victory against Blackburn. That doesn't change the fact that Steve Bruce is building a decent team of Spurs rejects up at the Stadium of Light, which just may push for Europe (no matter how much it pains me) if things keep going their way.
10. Fulham (Last week:7)- Losing to Chelsea is not anything new for Craven Cottage's heroes. They still have one of the hardest fighting teams in the league, something that will always keep them in the mix for a top table finish (unless things really go south).
11. Stoke City (Last week: 10)- A loss to Liverpool and a draw at scrappy Birmingham says that Stoke isn't going very far in the rankings. They aren't going to surprise us with any kind of miracles this season (although they did just sign Tuncay), just your standard Stoke City football- and they'll stay up doing it.
12. Aston Villa (last week:9)- Villa may be this year what Tottenham are every year: highly talented, but wildly inconsistent. Victory over the red side of Mersyside was an incredible high for the Villans, however they went ahead and got knocked out of Europe by an Austrian team. I don't care if they won the Austrian Bundesliga or not (and no I will not look that up), they are from AUSTRIA. Pull yourselves together, Villa!
13. Everton (last week: 8)- Losing to Burnley keeps the Toffees rooted to the bottom of the table. They're going to have to hope that Distin and that Russian dude can make some magic happen, and they really need Arteta back to create something in the final third.
14. Wigan (Last week:11)- Well, they actually looked a lot more impressive against United than the scoreline of 5-0 gives them credit for. But losing 1-0 at home to a promoted side (albeit a decent one...) sees the Latics slide a bit this week.
15. Wolves (Last week: 13)- They beat Wigan without Kevin Doyle... imagine what they'll be capable of when he makes his debut!
16. Hull City (Last week:19)- Well, they won a game. Jozy Altidore sets up the winner, the momentum gathers, Hull stays up against the odds and the good times roll!
17. Birmingham (last week: 15)- Beating Portsmouth is honestly nothing to be proud of (at 1-0 nonetheless). They'll be in for the dogfight.
18. Bolton (Last week:17)- I'm losing faith in Bolton. They've been steadily slipping ever since I started following football. This could be the year they finally bite it.
19. Blackburn (Last week: 14)- Same exact story as Bolton.
20. Portsmouth (Last week:18)- 0 points from three games, and it gets worse: they just sold Silvain Distin. So long, Pompey!

Bill Simmons's Curious Foray Into Soccer

2009-08-17T11:41:00.000-07:00

As I addressed in my Steve Slaton post, I'm a sports nut, and by effect, I read a lot of good and a lot of awful sportswriters. One I've always enjoyed is Bill Simmons, though me being a Boston-based basketball fanatic probably gives him too much of a homefield advantage. One thing about soccer is that there really aren't many good sportswriters (though I guess the same could be said for American sports) and sportswriting in Europe doesn't ever really seem to leave the analytical side of it. The most in-depth "op-ed" you'll get is someone wondering if Aquilani's Fascist political views will clash with Jamie Carragher's socialist leanings. ( That's dead serious by the way )

So, when Simmons did a special on choosing an EPL team after the 2006 World Cup, it was an immensely enjoyable read for a few reasons. I generally like his articles, and the writing style remained the same. But also, it is really interesting to see how someone who (let's be honest here) doesn't know anything about the league or sport breaks it down in the beginning. For the most part, his research proved to be pretty on-target(granted only 14 of the original teams remain, but that's relegation for you) and nothing has really changed since then. Since he wrote that article, Manchester United has won 3 straight titles, and I guess the only teams that suffered serious dips in form after the article were probably Arsenal, Tottenham and Newcastle. Arsenal he really trumps up, though I'm not sure why he sees the Bandwagon potential as so high. The bandwagoning ALL comes from the style of play, the same way Barcelona gets tons of bandwagon-jumpers every year. His paragraph on why he didn't choose Man U should be required reading for all non-Manchester-based United fans:
"Estimated number of "I don't care who you pick, just don't pick Manchester United" e-mails: At least 700-750. By all accounts, they're the New York Yankees of the EPL -- they outspend everyone else, everyone hates them, and even their own fans don't enjoy rooting for them that much. Financially, they blow almost everyone out of the water and purchase as many up-and-coming young stars as possible; they're almost like a European All-Star team. That's no fun. (Although I will say that I love Rooney's work and wish he was on another team -- he reminds me of a drunken Derrick on "Fresh Meat."). Anyway, can you imagine knowing a foreigner in their mid-30s who was looking for a baseball team and announced, "I'm going with the Yankees!" Wouldn't you hate that person? I don't want to be that guy."

Brilliant, if only he knew the depth of the bandwagoning. It doesn't fully apply to Americans, because Americans don't think the same way about club sports, but there's two huge reasons why people love Man U, one legitimate and one not. The illegitimate and obvious one is that they win all the time, and by being good, they're fun to watch. That's bullshit. But the other, far more excusable one, is that for most countries, they produce only a handful of top-soccer stars during a fan's lifetime, and those players become gods in those countries. Andriy Shevchenko was called BY THE PRESIDENT OF UKRAINE, "Ukraine's greatest export." Nothing like faith in your economy, eh? But anyways, Manchester United always seems to get those singular stars from a nation (or all of them in Ireland's case, which is why 99% of all Irishmen are Mancs) and those countries cheer for United to cheer on the player or the memory of a player who defined their place in football. (Who else would Korea, Bulgaria, Serbia, Portugal (until this year) or Denmark root for, to name a few).

Anyways, despite relegations and the rise of Aston Villa and Manchester City, it's still a great read, and worth the time if you have it.

Now, I was pretty sure Simmons forgot about soccer. I wasn't insulted; it was to be expected to a degree. I mean, as I also mentioned in the Steve Slaton entry, you only have so much time in the day to dedicate to sports. So when Scoops told me to check out World Soccer Daily because Simmons and Jozy were on it, I was intrigued. First off, I really hope he doesn't view Cohen as the embodiment of the American soccersphere (or some other lameass term involving "sphere"), and not because of the LFCNY debacle, but just because he's a pompous douche bag. I appreciate that he has really dedicated his career in a way to promoting soccer in the US, but come on, he needs to chill once in a while. Regardless, Simmons pledged to start following soccer again, that he was getting back into it. Ok, ok. I've heard that. Then this gets posted.

Yet again, it's a very enjoyable read, despite a few shortcomings. I think he might be the only person left under the impression that Mexico has a categorically better soccer team than we do, and the fact that they haven't beat our A team on a non-Azteca site in about a decade is proof to that. Our record there is abysmal, but we only play there every four years, so even if you go back 8 years, our team was a joke, especially compared to today. So that really accounts for 3 losses, which if you make it about the time since we've been relevant, they've been equally bad in the US. The only team to ever beat Mexico in Azteca was a plucky Costa Rica side 8 years ago, and other than that one time, NO ONE, not Brazil, not the US, NO ONE has won there. A draw would have been brilliant, but you can't get everything. Despite that rant, yes Mexico did outplay us, but the homefield advantage would be like if Pittsburgh had Heinz Field in Denver, but transported LA's smog, and removed all laws when it came to conduct towards opposing fans. And this is in a sport where homefield is HUGE. So, while we did lose, and probably have given Mexico enough to qualify now, it is in no way a sign that Mexico is gaining on us (though Dos Santos and Vela are far more promosing than any of our U23s). Furthermore, it was only a brief mention, but I'm not sure which Tottenham-Liverpool game on file he was watching, but that was not Stevie G's greatest performance. Granted, him on a bad day is still better than most, and possibly he was just making a point knowing that no one would really refute him over here, but come on Bill, he wasn't "so ridiculously, dominantly good." He can be, and frequently is, but this past Saturday, not so much.

So, what does this all mean? I'm not sure. Simmons might start writing somewhat regularly about soccer, but I'm not sure how his editors will feel about that, especially from about two weeks from now until the Superbowl. He'll have baseball pennant race/playoffs and NFL until mid-October, and then suddenly has NBA, NFL and NHL (which is rare in his coverage). After the Superbowl, with soccer heating up, he probably will get a few articles passed as basketball and hockey playoffs will be the only competition. This is under the assumption that his editors have at least sizeable control over what he writes about; I'm talking out of my ass. And who knows? Maybe he can write shit articles about obscure sport happenings and be praised for it. (See Reilly, Rick) ESPN is getting really into soccer, as it is really the only market it doesn't dominate at this point, and so they'll probably be cool with some soccer dabblings of Simmons. It's great for the sport, and great for coverage in America, as he is arguably the most popular sportswriter we have. Will it change soccer in America? Absolutely not. Though if one thing does, he hit the nail on the head in his article: Jozy Altidore will be that change. If Jozy, or anyone like him, becomes an American transcendant star in soccer, that will be the catalyst to major change, and it's pretty obvious why. Regardless, here's to the increased exposure, and hopefully Simmons can get the ratings to spike high enough that I don't have to pay more for cable to watch good soccer.

Power Rankings: Week 1

2009-08-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

The first weekend of Premiership action is gone, taking along with it something I have never witnessed before: a full weekend of ten Premiership games without a single draw. I don't know how rare of a phenomenon this is, but I can't ever remember it happening in the three seasons previous to this one. Other than that little statistic there was not much anomaly to be had at the weekend; Spurs over Liverpool was certainly something of an upset, and Arsenal's absolute destruction of Everton was definitely not predicted, but on the whole the expected teams won out.

Now, onto the rankings:

1. Arsenal (Last week: 4)- Wow, what a start. I knew Arsenal were a shade stronger of a side than the Toffees, but I don't think any of us saw this one coming. 6-1 over the reigning back-to-back "best of the rest" is more than enough to vault the Gooners to the #1 spot. If (that's a BIG if) Arsenal can keep up this type of offensive efficiency (keep in mind they did not really dominate ball control, the simply capitalized their chances) then obviously they are in with a shout at the title.
2. Chelsea (Last week: 1)- A slow start to the game was made up for by a ferocious fightback, with Drogba leading the way. It looks as though he has decided to play this season, good news for any Blues fan. His second goal was just incredible, check it out:
3. Manchester United (Last week:3)- I did not watch any of their game but 1-0 over Birmingham does not awe me in any way. As Giblinho said to me via cellphone, they probably did their typical United bullcrap, which includes playing like garbage against a garbage team and somehow getting a goal.
4. Liverpool (Last week:2)- The Scousers looked a little sluggish against Spurs, which is typical of a top 4 side, those who always do tend to start the season off slow, finally hitting a groove sometime before Christmas. But one away loss in a tough atmosphere is not enough to push them too far down the rankings, especially when they arguably deserved a draw (I refer to the Voronin penalty shout). Outplayed on the day, the Reds were unlucky not to have been given a second stone cold penalty.
5. Tottenham Hotspur (Last week:6)- Beating Liverpool on opening day was huge for the Lilywhites; after losing to underdogs in the past two season openers, it was great (for me, at least) to see Spurs finally do something remarkable on opening day. Lennon, Palacios and Modric all looked incredible, and of course I was pleasently surprised to see the Cameroonian contingent of Bassong and Assou-Ekotto come through as two of the unlikeliest goalscorers. Now how about getting some results on the road?
6. Manchester City (Last week:7)- They took care of business... against Blackburn. Good for them. I'll have to wait until I see some real fight against top notch opponents before I crown them the heirs to the 4th place throne.
7. Fulham (Last week:8)- Well, they beat a team everyone expects to be relegated. Well done to the Cottagers.
8. Everton (Last week:5)- The Blue half of Mercyside were exposed by a near perfect Arsenal team. Tony Hibbert and Joseph Yobo had better recall how to defend, well, really the whole team, otherwise the Toffees could be in for a beating this season. As the ever-insightful Giblinho pointed out, none of the 6 goals could really be blamed on Howard, which means that 6 times the Everton defense gave Arsenal far too good of chances. This is a common symptom of inconsistent teams, and must be worrying for a team that hopes to crack into the Champions League.
9. Stoke City (Last week: 10)- They put Burnley in their place. Stoke have all the makings of a team that can become a Premiership mainstay.
10. West Ham (Last week:11)- A handling of newboys Wolves is nothing to scoff at, but let's be real here, it's their first Premiership game in over five years, so it's not exactly a famous victory.
11. Wigan (Last week:17)- What a display against the Villans AT Villa Park. I had heard of only 5 of Wigan's starters, but they really put Villa to the sword. Granted, it was opening day, and not much can be drawn from this in terms of end of the season finishes, but the Latics definitely know how to start off in style.
12. Aston Villa (last week:9)- Humbled at home by Wigan. Ashley Young looked more like Jermaine Pennant, and Heskey looked like he'd be needing a visit to the sports psychologist after that abysmal game for Villa.
13. Sunderland (last week:16)- Darren Bent got a goal, which was (surprise) not impressive in any way. Good for the Black Cats, but I'm still not convinced they'll be safe from the relegation dogfight.
14. Blackburn (Last week:14)- They lost to a much better City side. From the bit of the game that I saw, they actually looked alright, so I won't slide them down any in the rankings just yet.
15. Birmingham (last week:15)- They held United to only one goal... or did United just not care at all?
16. Hull City (Last week:19)- Well, they actually put up quite a fight, probably more so in this game than from all of January-May. Perhaps Phil Brown has somehow regained the dressing room? Coming up short to Chelsea is nothing to be ashamed of for a low-budget club like Hull.
17. Bolton (Last week:12)- Not much to say for Gary Cahill's men, for a couple of reasons: 1. I didn't watch their game and 2. I don't care about them at all. And they lost to a team that probably should have been relegated last season.
18. Portsmouth (Last week:18)- Well, at least they only lost by one goal... enjoy that while it lasts, Pompey...
19.Wolves (Last week: 13)- Kevin Doyle didn't even play, nor did Marcus Hahnemann. WTF?
20. Burnley (Last week:20)- WELCOME TO THE EPL!!

Some quick thoughts on Saturday

2009-08-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

Because I was up rewatching season 2 of Mad Men on demand, I slept until 1225, conveniently waking up just in time for the Everton-Arsenal match. So, the only game I actually watched was that, other than flipping back to Koln-Wolfsburg.

-First, some fantasy griping. I have Matt Upson, who got me a massive 14 points, and then I had Tim Howard, who lost me 3. Ugh.

-The Everton-Arsenal match was a demolition. Everton didn't play particularly awfully, Arsenal was just that much better. The first goal was unstoppable and then the wheel started to come off. 2 of the goals were free (as in, NO ONE) headers, 3 were just very quality strikes and 1 was a Scorpion (BS Chaos in the box type). So, what does this game mean? Well, it means less for Arsenal. They proved what we all knew. They have some amazing players, especially in the technical department, on that team and they passed Everton to death. For Everton? Bad, bad, bad. They were horrendous at marking set pieces, and just lacked any sort of touch in the final 3rd. I missed their goal at the death to grab a little pride, but for the other 90 minutes, they didn't seem to even really sniff near goal. Every shot, FK or corner was RIGHT AT ALMUNIA. They always seem to start slow, but this was beyond that. They got massacred.

-On individual players, I was surprised by how ineffective, or should I say invisible?, Arshavin was. He was a revelation last season, and I still think he will rip it up this season, but he was not involved. In fact, outside of the original shot in the 6th goal, he didn't play a part in a single goal. Which, as a fantasy owner, bothers me. But his corners were pretty poor all match, and he didn't seem locked in. Obviously, this didn't matter much, but what was that all about?

-Bendtner was....well....awesome. Look, I was one of his harshest critics last year. He had horror finish after horror finish, and he was still cocky as ever. Then he starts this year refunding those with his shirt with the wrong number, and then today, was first-rate. His delightful skill set up the first goal, and he had a big part to play for most of Arsenal's attacking moves. He terrorized Baines, and really showed that he is ready to make the leap this season.

-I'm not trying to be an apologist here, but you really can't blame Timbo Slice for a single goal. Which is awful. Because that means your defense gave the other team 6 true goal-scoring opportunities where the goalie had no chance. That's pretty terrifying, considering Moyes would have assumed he would have given up 6 goals through maybe his first 5 or 6 matches.

-On the other games, Colin said that Villa looked awful in their loss to Wigan, but I'll let him cover that. No real surprises elswhere, other than Chelsea only winning 2-1 at the Bridge to Hull. Maybe they have life again? It was pleasant that there wasn't a single draw today, and considering Man U-Birmingham will most likely not be either, you're looking at the possibility of a (maximum) one-draw weekend. Pretty cool.

-Also, homefield meant nothing today. Only Chelsea and Stoke won at home. Portsmouth, Wolves, Rovers, Bolton, Villa and Everton all lost at home, and all but Bolton by multiple goals. Interesting stuff.

Power Rankings: Week 0

2009-08-14T22:03:00.001-07:00

Giblinho has already shared with us his views of where the Premiership is going this season; now I will grace you all with mine. Hopefully I can make this into a weekly segment, though I am making no promises... it's a 38 week season, half of which I will be spending overseas, but I rest assured I will do my best to keep this regular.

Let me start off by defining the term "power rankings" in my own words- these rankings are obviously not a direct representation of where any team is currently placed in the standings. It is more so a combination of current form and potential peak form. These rankings will tell you who the best teams are in the league at any given time. Just because Man United won the title last term does not mean they would have been ranked at #1 come week 38; on the contrary, United were in a slide towards the end of the season, and Liverpool were hot as Cayenne, therefore Liverpool likely would have filled the #1 spot.

Alright alright, enough chit-chat. Let's get to the preseason rankings:

(Please note that these are not necessarily how I think the season table will end, as obviously everything changes all the time. This is a prediction of how well suited each team is right now to winning the title)

1. Chelsea- The Blues occupy this spot mostly by process of elimination, as they are the only title contenders that didn't get substantially weaker. Yuri Zhirkov will certainly improve the aging squad, which I believe still has enough gas left in the tank for a few more years before a serious overhaul is necessary.
2. Liverpool- Losing Alonso surely will have a drastic effect on the Scousers, but let us not forget that Stevie G and Torres are arguably two of the top five players in the world. The defense is as solid as ever (backed by the amazing Reina), and Kuyt will still be there to run his own personal Marathon in every match.
3. Manchester United- Losing Ronaldo and Tevez will inevitably make them a weaker side, but remember that this is not a team that relies on any one or two players; United are littered with talent from top to bottom. True, their current goalkeeping situation is downright frightening, and they are losing the most prolific goalscorer in the past 3 years of English football; but they are still a cut above the 4th ranked squad...
4. Arsenal- The Gooners have basically been a selling club ever since I started following the game in 2006; never have I felt that they were any kind of a threat in the Premiership or in the Champions League. Still, they have a stranglehold on 4th place, and I do not see them relinquishing it this season. As I look over Arsenal's offseason dealings I see big losses, but then I look at their current roster and it still scares me. Fabregas, Van Persie, Arshavin, Walcott, Eduardo... the list goes on. There is so much talent at Arsenal that it kind of suprises me how ineffective they are in terms of winning trophies.
5. Everton- A lot of people are tipping Man City for the 5th (or even 4th) spot, but no, not this guy! Everton were plagued by injury last season and still managed 5th place (though in large part to Villa's epic disaster). With Jagielka, Arteta and the Yak all healthy again, I see Everton pushing Arsenal till the end of the season for the 4th spot. Even if the injury bug returns in the front, Tim Howard and that incredible Everton defense won't let this team fall any lower than 6th.
6. Tottenham Hotspur- I know this is going to shock people (or not, given that I am a Spurs supporter myself) but I honestly think that Spurs have a lot going for them right now: reasonably few comings and goings this offseason will allow the squad to remain mostly intact from last season, the very same squad that took 49 points from 30 games after Redknapp took charge. A strong strikeforce and excellent playmakers (Modric, Lennon) will always keep Spurs as a scoring threat... the question mark seems to be the defense. Woodgate and Dawson are out indefinitely, leaving King (who can only play at most 90 minutes a week), new boy Bassong (highly-rated Cameroonian center and left back), and Corluka (not the greatest CB in the world, much better suited to RB). If the defense can pull it together, then I can see us getting off to a flying start ( dare I hope for another WHL upset of Liverpool, perhaps?) and competing for a European berth.
7. Manchester City- I don't really see City as being as good as advertised. Even taking away the fact that they have overhauled their squad and will need time to gel/figure out everyone's roles, I still don't think they have the talent for a top 4 finish. Tevez and Barry are great, Robinho and Adebayor are great when they want to be, and Steven Ireland certainly has a bright future, but outside of that, where exactly has all of the Sheik's money been going? Santa Cruz, the one-season wonder? Toure? Bellamy, the biggest douche in the universe? de Jong (not Gabriel)? Are these really "Champions League" quality players? City have done a magnificent job of amassing a huge amount of talented players, but they have in my opinion been getting mostly players who are of the "second tier."
8. Fulham- No big signings for the Cottagers, no big losses. They overachieved a bit last season true enough, but they have the same core to rely on that earned them 7th place and a Europa League campaign. Dempsey, Haangeland, Schwarzer and Andy Johnson all have the potential to be huge once again at Craven Cottage. And can anyone tell me how on earth Danny Murphy is resurrecting his career like this?
9. Aston Villa- Not exactly the hottest team at the end of last season, Villa have lost their two best players (to City and to retirement) and now must reverse their fortunes from the home stretch. The Friedel/Guzan goalkeeping tandom will ensure that a quality 'Murican is between the posts at all times, but can the midfield overcome the loss of Barry, who so often dictated games? And can the backline replace Laursen, the constant rock for the past six seasons?
10. Stoke City- Most people have them sliding down after last year's overacheivement, but I see them doing it once again. The Britannia is no playground, and I am really liking this James Beattie fellow. Throw Delap in there (yes, that was a pun) and you've got a decent, midtable team.
11. West Ham- Getting Luis Jiminez on loan from Inter was something of a coup for the Hammers, but that won't stop them from finishing in the bottom half. West Ham are very uninteresting to me. Hopefully Jonothan Spector gets the RB spot nailed down in East London.
12. Bolton- Totally uninspiring but they always seem to do alright. I wouldn't be surprised in they finished down lower, maybe 16th even, but I can't see them dropping to the Coca-Cola any time soon.
13. Wolves- I know very little about them, but Kevin Doyle will lead the Premiership in scoring this season.
14. Blackburn- Sam Allardyce is the master of making me hate watching soccer, but he will keep them up for sure. This is the last time I will mention a Sam Allardyce team in more than one sentence.
15. Birmingham- I hated them when they were last in the Premiership- they beat Tottenham 4-1 twice in that season. Also they are a bunch of thugs, according to Michael Voltaire Cioce (who is supposedly a write for this blog, though I have never seen any evidence of it). But I think they will have learned from their last voyage into the top flight, and when you couple that with the fact that there are a lot of bad teams in the Premiership, it equals survival.
16. Sunderland- Darren Bent will get his 15 goals (none of them impressive), and the rest of the Tottenham rejects at Sunderland will all perform like, well, rejects, and it will be enough to keep the Black Cats up, but not by much. Sunderland put on quite a display of how not to act in the midst of a relegation battle, which couldn't have been great for team confidence. Plus their captain is from Albania... this does not bode well. Oh, but let's not forget the huge summer signing of Lee Cattermole, I bet that'll really inspire this team up the table... I would like to add that I am loving the CONCACAF representation at Sunderland, I'd love to see them keep that up.
17. Wigan- They continue to find players for dirt cheap and turn them into huge profits (a la Wilson Palacios, Antonio Valencia). But who will be this season's big find? I have no idea, but the potential that it is out there is enough for the Latics to not start the season in my relegation zone. Other than that the team is relatively uninspiring.
18. Portsmouth- The financial collapse at Fratton Park has been well documented. Reports have said that players must be sold simply to fund the operating expenses of the club, and this does not bode well for the southerners at all. Losing nearly all of their talent has meant that unless a takeover happens soon, it will be something of a miracle if this team manages to stay afloat.
19. Hull City- only escaping 20th because they have Jozy Altidore. I see no reason (except a possible Jozy-led revolution) that the Tigers won't continue their Slip'n'Slide down the football totem pole of poor form. They are almost at Derby County levels.
20. Burnley- I know they are a sentimental pick to stay up, especially given their attractive style of play, but let's look at the facts- they finished 5th in the Championship last season and have not strengthened at all. Is that good enough to stay up in the Premiership? I can see it happening, but they are going to have to prove it before they climb out of the cellar on these rankings. I wish them luck, 'cause they're gonna need it.

Big, Super-Duper Premier League Preview

2009-08-12T11:41:00.001-07:00

Well, lets go alphabetically by team.

Arsenal

Biggest Strength Amazing technical ability, international squad is always on the forefront of diving tactics
Biggest Weakness Simply put: They're pussies.
X Factor Jack Wilshere. He's tiny, he's young, but he is immensely talented. At 17, how effective, and game-changing, can he really be?
Achilles Heel Health. Nasri and Rosicky are already out to start the season.
Prediction 5th

Oh Arsenal. You have to admire Wenger for sticking to his principles, but really, he is being done in by the fact that the players he tends to prefer (small, technically gifted, pacy) are also the ones that tend to spend a lot of time on the trainer's table, especially when you have no hard men to protect them. That is the story of Arsenal this year, and while Wenger has plenty of cash to spend after getting a fortune for the relatively undesired gifts of Adebayor and Toure, he doesn't look like spending any of it, unless he can convince Bordeaux to get his token starlet. As I stated above, Nasri and Rosicky are hurt, and while Nasri is a great player who should come back soon enough, Rosicky is hurt enough that I don't even think it's fair to really consider him a squad player. Honestly, since he dismantled the United States in 2006 World Cup, he has all of 61 appearances for Arsenal in ALL competitions. He's averaging about 20 apperances a year, which is great for a support player, but not someone as talented as Rosicky. Walcott and Fabs are back, but this team just can't seem to stay healthy. If their starting 11 stays relatively intact for the course of the year, they probably have enough steam to hold off City and even maybe push for 3rd or even 2nd. I just don't see that happening. They have too many injury-prone players and not enough grit to grind out tough victories. Hopefully they can beat Celtic in the qualifiers for the Champions League, otherwise it'll be back-to-back years in the Europa League.

Aston Villa

Biggest Strength Responsible and smart leadership, bolstered by some real quality players. If Ashley Young stays, which is more likely by the day, they have a great, albeit not particularly deep, squad
Biggest Weakness Can they really replace Gareth Barry?
X-Factor Fabian Delph. He is one of the most hyped up English products in a while, and most of those don't end well. If he is as good as advertised, how long until we see it?
Achilles Heel Stewart Downing is not, and never will be, Gareth Barry
Prediction 8th

Looking at the squad, it doesn't look much different. Only Barry and Laursen really mattered last year, and then you brought in some highly vaunted players in Delph and Downing. Sylvain Distin is always rumored in at the club, but it looks like that will be on hold as Portsmouth may want to actually field a team this season. O'Neill is a great manager, but really, how is this club going to get over that collapse last season? They were in pole position for 4th, and while Arsenal did get hot, they didn't exactly light up the Premiership. Villa folded so bad that they fell to 6th, and while they get to play in the Europa League again, it is a very small consolation. I don't see them making either this season simply because the downgrade from Barry is too much. Delph is coming from League 1, so even if he is a prodigy, it'll take at least a season to adjust to actually talented players. Downing was the creative fulcrum for a team that finished 19th, so how is supposed to be a replacement for the creative fulcrum for the team that finished 6th? I just don't see it. City will obviously leapfrog them, Everton is still better and throw in a full season for Harry Houdini, and 8th it is for Villa.

Birmingham, Burnley

Biggest Strength They're happy to be here
Biggest Weakness Both of them will have trouble scoring.
X-Factor A Reading-esque first-year charge is always possible.
Achilles Heel Both teams don't seem particularly talented, and not well suited for life in the Premier League.
Prediction 17th, 18th

I'm lumping them together because I'm not going to bullshit you. I don't follow the Championship. I'll follow Ipswich Town this year, because I love Roy Keane and I'm from a town called Ipswich. But otherwise, I never care. I'll check some results, but really, I don't know anything. I looked at the transfers, and Birmingham's aren't bad, and considering they did finish 2nd, perhaps I'll give them the nod to get 17th instead of Burnley. Burnley didn't really seem to buy anyone, and they finished 6th in the Championship. I know the pundits are lauding their promotion, and really, good for them. I just don't see them not yo-yoing. Both could stay up considering the relative impotence of some other teams that are still in the Premier League (we really should have relegated 6 last year), and considering most of those teams didn't get better (or even got worse), I wouldn't be surprised to see both of these teams stay up. But for the record, Birmingham 17th, Burnley 18th.

Blackburn Rovers

Biggest Strength Strong, tough Allardyce defense
Biggest Weakness Weak, impotent Allardyce offense
X Factor Deranged fan may light himself on fire for pure entertainment value. These games are going to be boooooorrrrrring.
Achilles Heel They are the cheapest tickets in the Premiership for a reason. NO ONE WANTS TO WATCH THEM.
Prediction 11th

Sam Allardyce has always challenged football fans. He inevitably gets results. His Bolton teams finished 5th in back-to-back seasons and nearly got relegated when he left. He can take crap teams and turn them into mid-table mediocrity, and sometimes, even, a Europa League bid. So, you'd think, he'd be one of the most popular managers in England. But watching Sam Allardyce coach football is not enjoyable. His teams are not fun to watch, his games are not interesting, and even his own fans have trouble going to games. Is football for entertainment or results? It's an argument for another day, but considering Allardyce is managing Blackburn, it's really the only interesting thing I can talk about. They'll be decent, grind out results and finish 11th. Yawn.

Bolton Wanderers

Biggest Strength Megson is really just an Allardyce clone, so yet again, strong defense.
Biggest Weakness As you will see with many other previews, this doesn't seem to be a high-scoring year. They'll struggle for goals.
X Factor They are a young, improving side, and those always have a chance to break out.
Achilles Heel They are a young, improving side, and those always have a chance for implosion.
Prediction 16th

Bolton is more or less the team they were last year, and another year of experience should help them out. So, why are they still only 16th in my prediction? Simple put, who will be worse? I think Stoke's homefield advantage gives them too much compared to Bolton, Sunderland made some good signings and had a strong squad already and Blackburn will get a full year with Allardyce. There isn't the same underclass this year as there was last year, and that is a great thing. If Birmingham/Burnley can punch above their weight, we might actually see teams with ability fight over relegation, and maybe even win some games! I'm telling you, it could be fun. Bolton will probably stay safe though, and make into the escapee zone for another year.

Chelsea

Biggest Strength Great squad loaded with internationals, basically reads as an all-star team. Drogba is a top 5 striker, Lampard a top 5 CM and Cech is a top 10 keeper. Add into that mix a ton of great players and it's hard to point to one strength.
Biggest Weakness How will Chelsea deal with their new diamond formation? It restricts some of the width that made them powerful under Mourinho, and with Bosingwa and Cole already shaky on defending responsibilities, do you really want to encourage to spend more time charging the flanks?
X Factor Drogba-Anelka. It is a bizarre partnership, but Hiddink seemed to make it work. Can Ancelotti?
Achilles Heel Age. With it comes the slow decay of abilities and a proneness to injuries. It shouldn't really affect Chelsea too much, but it's the elephant in the room.
Prediction 3rd

If Chelsea ever has a year to win with this squad, it is this year. Manchester United have lost their best player and have a mess at the goalkeeper position, and Liverpool lost half of their dynamic midfield in Alonso. Chelsea have always been the unlikable team, and really, I'd much rather see Manchester win the 4th in a row then watch Drogba, Ballack, Terry and Cashley Cole wildly celebrate a Premiership title. On paper, there's nothing that should stop them. Their squad is great, their players are world class, but there always seems to be an obstacle that trips them up in the home stretch. I don't really foresee that changing either, as this is the same team they've trotted out for the past few seasons. I know Colin hates Malouda, but he really played well under Hiddink, and I'm curious if he can keep that up for Ancelotti. I've never seen a team be as manager-dependent as this one, and it's ironic, considering a team full of veteran stars should be the last one to be so suspectible to their leadership. For better or for worse, it's down to Ancelotti, and in his first year at least, I don't see him capturing the title.

Everton

Biggest strength The definition of a team effort, Moyes has really crafted a cohesive unit that is always better than the sum of its parts. Having the world's best goalkeeper helps too.
Biggest Weakness Lack of depth. They were ravaged by injuries last year, and if it weren't for Villa's implosion and Tottenham's sluggish start, could have missed out on Europe.
X Factor How do they fare without Lescott if he goes, and if he stays, will he be a locker room cancer?
Achilles Heel Injuries, injuries, injuries
Prediction 6th

Everton is really a great story. They are a team that plays as one, and always does better than it should based on the strength of themselves as a unit. Unfortunately, in the Premiership that only results in the Europa League and 5th placed finishes, but it is great in its own little way. Moyes is a world-class manager, and when I think of how no big four team has never tried to raid him, it always comes as a surprise. Outside of their famous snag of Anton Peterlin, the squad is unchanged. And while in normal circumstances, I could pick them to sneak into 4th against Arsenal, I just don't see that happening anymore. Wenger's next generation is starting to blossom, as evidenced by the form of Wilshere and Vela, and Manchester City built themselves a superteam overnight. The era of the small-budget club that wins with brains and guile are unfortunately going by the wayside, and within a few years there won't even be places in the Europa League for them. Everton should enjoy this golden age while it lasts, and themselves and Aston Villa may very well be the last true small-budget contenders in England.

Fulham

Biggest Strength You know they're a lot like Everton. Great manager, great team squad.
Biggest Weakness A little too-dependent on home form, and that is never a good thing. They're an awful road team.
X Factor Clint Dempsey had a monster second half last season, can he follow it up this year?
Achilles Heel The scored 39 goals in 38 matches. That's a very poor return and one that could create issues next season.
Prediction 9th

Fulham, the former stronghold of American soccer, now only has one regular player from the states, and he is slowly emerging as their best player. Clint Dempsey really stepped up once Bullard was transferred, and if he can follow it up with a full season of top-class football, he probably will be looking at bigger things than the cottage next summer. They have an unchanged side, just as Hodgson would like it, and while that settling may prove healthy, this is still a side that has trouble scoring goals. They can't rely on getting 0-0 draws all the time, and while Schwarzer is a great keeper, it's far too much pressure to put on the Aussie. Fulham really overachieved last season, and they get the fruits of their labor in the form of the Europa League. Hopefully it won't prove too distracting for the team, and they can stay a top-half team.

Hull City

Biggest Strength Newfound American support by getting Altidore?
Biggest Weakness Phil Brown
X Factor Whoever replaces Phil Brown as manager, and when.
Achilles Heel Phil Brown
Prediction 19th

Look, lets get this out of the way. I'm not a huge fan of Phil Brown. His singular quest to make his skin Hull Orange is rather disturbing, and his obsession with celebrity and media is pathetic. It's one thing if you're the manager of a newly promoted side who is sharing first place, but it's something altogether different when your squad gets 1 point from 12 matches. They really didn't add much (as much as I love Jozy) and considering how woeful they were last season, I don't see why that would change. I don't see where they are going to get goals from, and how is going to stop them shipping on the other end. The team was unmasked as a fraud early last season, and thats not changing anytime soon. If Brown gets replaced by somebody highly competent at some point early in the season, they have hope, but not much. I'd say 20th, but really, I like Jozy too much. 19th it is.

Liverpool

Biggest Strength Gerrard/Torres.
Biggest Weakness Depth, but now the fact that Aquilani will have to adjust to the English game in a title hunt is not exactly great either.
X Factor Aquilani is supposedly more of a goal-scoring threat than Alonso. Can he shoulder some of the goal-scoring burden off of the big 2?
Achilles Heel Lucas Leiva is still a regular squad member.
Prediction 1st (come on, did you expect something else?)

Ah the Scousers. Not as eventful a summer for them as the media would have you believe (Johnson, Aquilani in, Alonso, Arbeloa out), and considering they made a large defensive upgrade as well as remains-to-be-seen replacement of Alonso, and the fact that those transfers about equal out in value seems to be pretty good business for Liverpool. I was surprised by how little they got for Arbeloa, but I guess watching a player for every game may inflate his value just a tad. Glen Johnson is a high-quality back, and can contribute immediately, and I'm holding out hope for Aquilani. What it comes down to for Liverpool are two things: Keeping Gerrard/Torres healthy and incorporating Benayoun. Benayoun you ask? Benayoun was the only other person who kept us in the hunt for trophies last season, from a goal-scoring perspective. Kuyt is always dependable for work rate, but Benayoun provided brilliance from an unexpected source, and it would be a shame to have him languishing on the bench all season. He is a top-quality player, and if Rafa can figure out how to make him more involved, he could be the crux that swings the title back to Liverpool. Manchester United is weaker this season, and Liverpool must capitalize, and with smart management, I think they can.

Manchester City

Biggest Strength Staggering depth
Biggest Weakness No forthcoming rule change to allow 20 players a team.
X Factor Stephen Ireland was their best player last season, but he's not a big name, will he stay relevant in this galactico-like side?
Achilles Heel Can Sparky really keep all these egos in check?
Prediction 4th

Manchester City is making Chelsea look frugal. They have bought an absurdly large squad, and just recently remembered that you generally want a defense to accompany the offense. Simply put, they have too much talent. There are too many players here who can create breathtaking goals for them to fail. It is a top-quality side full of great players, and really, their biggest issue is finding enough space for them all. Critics say they don't have workers, but last I checked, their lineup included Gareth Barry and Carlos Tevez, so I'm going to have to go and disagree on that one. I think their best lineup will be Tevez/Adebayor up top with Robinho/Ireland/De Jong/Barry in the midfield. The worst kept secret is that Roque Santa Cruz had one good year and actually sucked last season, but don't tell Mark Hughes that. I'll wait to see when he realizes that and benches him. If Hughes is able to keep the egos in check, this team can challenge for the title, but I don't think they'll be able to do it this year. Instead, they'll have to settle for 4th. Not too shabby for the blue side of Manchester.

Manchester United

Biggest Strength Where do I start?
Biggest Weakness Cristiano's departure may lower international fandom from 3 billion to 2.95 billion
X Factor The young guys: Macheda/Welbeck. Can they deliver again this year?
Achilles Heel Rooney is inconsistent, though no one likes to mention it. Is he really the best bet for your generator of offense?
Prediction 2nd

Oh, Manchester United. Where to begin? They have the best living manager, one of the best defenses and the best youth development system in the world. They're a lock for the title right? Maybe not. Lets first start off with what has been Fergie's achilles heel as a manager: goalkeeper evaluation. He's had two periods of immense success, which happen to coincide with the two great goalies he has had: Peter Schmichael and Edwin van der Sar. With questions mounting about van der Sars's health, Ben Foster is waiting in the wings, and as we all saw in the charity shield, that is not an encouarging sign. Moving forward from there, the defense is all that it was last year, which is too say, remarkable. If van der Sar can come back in time, United won't ship a lot of goals. The midfield is where the new-look United is starting to take shape. Anderson has established himself with Carrick and Fletcher as the first-choice central midfielders, and all of them have immense quality. The wingers will have to prove themselves however. Nani on one wing has been something of an enigma in his time at Old Trafford, displaying dazzling skill but also poor decision-making and determination. Valencia was great at Wigan, but there is a different element to playing for a club like United, and we'll see if he can handle it. Suddenly, unlike in days past, the strikers are expected to score goals now too. Rooney has had consistency problems his whole career, and Berbatov has won over few fans in Stretford End. And Mickey Boy will have as much to prove as anyone, and who can say they're not looking forward to his match at Anfield? All in all, it's a Manchester United team that didn't win the title by much last year, and it came down to the wire. Their changes? Their goalies are less healthy, they brought in a new winger, and oh yeah, they sold the best player in the world. Ronny's departure will be deep as his midfield goals took pressure off the whole team, and before his emergence as a superstar, United were without the Premier League for half a decade. Will his departure spark a similar drought? Probably not, but just like my analysis, Manchester United this season is full of questions.

Portsmouth

Biggest Strength Lack of leadership means no chance for player mutiny
Biggest Weakness When I was making my fantasy team, the only striker listed for Portsmouth was David Nugent. Enough said.
X Factor You know, someone really rich could buy them.
Achilles Heel They aren't allowed to take a pass on this season.
Prediction 20th

Oh, Portsmouth. Rarely does a team do better when it ships its manager and all of their best players and replaces them with...nothing. If Portsmouth is bought soon, it'll probably be too late, as the club is now threadbare in terms of depth and quality, having only 18 outfield players. Hart is a great manager, and an amazing developer of talent, but even he will not be able to fix this mess. If bought, even by a spend-happy billionaire, Portsmouth will have to weather the first half of the season, which looks like it will not be particulary easy, or fun to watch. Portsmouth will probably finish above Hull City, who look absolutely woeful, but as I said before, I just can't bet against Jozy like that, so I give the joy of propping up the table to the south coast. It doesn't really matter, as both are going down hard anyways.

Stoke City

Biggest Strength Britannia Stadium has magical properties
Biggest Weakness When more than half your goals from someone not named James Beattie come from throw-ins, it may be a problem.
X Factor Can they stay as resilient at home?
Achilles Heel Behind hard-hitting defense and somewhat efficient offense, lies a large void of technical ability.
Prediction 13th

Tony Pulis puts Sam Allardyce to shame. He's making a hard-hitting team that people actually want to cheer for, if only because of their provincial nature. It's a team that swallow up anyone, as evidenced by two draws with Liverpool (that ultimately cost them the title). Pulis made great signings last January, with Beattie being the steal of that particular window. While the side has remained relatively unchanged, that does mean they'll have to rely on everything that kept them afloat last year. Their home form cannot falter, unless they suddenly want to start winning on the road. Beattie and Delap must provide offense again and the defense must hold firm. Pulis has never been relegated in his 18 seasons, and I don't see why that would change this one, but he can never take his eye off the 8-ball. There just isn't that big a margin of error.

Sunderland

Biggest Strength Steve Bruce and a new-look offense
Biggest Weakness Remember last time Darren Bent was unquestionably his team's best striker (Charlton Athletic-19th)
X Factor If Bent and Campbell can work well together, Sunderland can propel themselves to the top half of the league.
Achilles Heel This is a talented squad, but as was shown last year, not one full of heart and determination.
Prediction 12th

If only Roy Keane had lightened up a little bit. Maybe, just maybe, his team would begin responding again like they did in the Championship. Maybe he could take his rather talented squad and have them finish around mid-table again, gearing up for a Europa push in a year or two. But, alas, it was not meant to be. Keano left, and in his place came the incompetent Ricky Sbragia. Sunderland is still talented, and now with a good manager, the Wearside may begin to enjoy this newfound reversal of fortune of them being the higher-league club to rivals Newcastle. The additions of Bent and Campbell could help get some goals that the pouty Cisse was unable to provide last season, but as I stated, Bent being your main attacking option is no guarantee of success. He finished 4th in the league in goals, and his team finished 19th in standings. Frazier Campbell is an unproven player, and just because he came from Manchester United does not mean he's necessarily any good. After all, Fergie doesn't often let good players go (though, Giuseppe Rossi and Gerard Pique may disagree). Despite my misgivings of their new striking talent, this team does have far more to work with than most of the bottom half, and given their manager's experience in the top flight, should be rather safe from the drop, unlike last season, where only the sheer impotence of their rivals saved them.

Tottenham Hotspur

Biggest Strength Tons of attacking options, maybe too many, but still, a plethora of weapons are at Houdini's disposal.
Biggest Weakness Injury-prone backline could make them look like the Tottenham of the Berbatov years.
X Factor What do they play up top, and how soon can they find the effective formation?
Achilles Heel They have three strikers who all left previous clubs for a lack of playing time, how does Harry make them all happy, and oh yeah, they have Pavs too.
Prediction 7th

Spurs are looking like the spurs of yore. They are talented on the offensive end, and have their own slew of issues on the backline. They even brought back Defoe, Keane and Chimbonda. However, Harry will be tested in two critical departments. One, is how does he play all his strikers. Keane is his captain, and a big personality, but he seems to have settled on Crouch and Defoe. Does he give Keane his third transfer in a little over a year? Does he use a striker rotation policy? Redknapp was very happy with the Defoe/Crouch partnership at Portsmouth, and it is unlikely that he will want to shake it up too much, but as we all saw at Anfield, Robbie Keane reacts quite poorly to having his minutes trifled with. The Ledley King issue will always remain, but it is how newcomers Bassong, Naughton and Walker will fare that will probably decide Spurs' fate. If the newcomers are able to seemlessly incorporate themselves into the squad and be top contributors, Tottenham can spoil Everton or even Arsenal's party. While someone will be unhappy, whoever lines up at striker will be good, and should provide the goals they need. Their midfield is set. All Tottenham has to do is work out the kinks, for which Harry as shown a rather deft ability.

West Ham United

Biggest Strength Zola has proven to be a management whiz, and is bolstered by a solid backline
Biggest Weakness Financial issues always seem to manifest at the worst possible time.
X Factor No one relies on youth like Zola, and how they respond to a whole year in the spotlight will be telling.
Achilles Heel Very young squad + Increased expecations could equal disaster.
Prediction 10th

West Ham is a great story. Despite swirling financial turmoil, a playing legend took the reins of manager and led a young team to a respectable finish. I expect Zola and the kids to do just fine next year, it's just that I can't seem them replicating the same kind of success they had last season. First, young teams almost uniformly perform poorly when expectations are raised, but more importantly, financial turmoil wears down a team. Suddenly Gianfranco will be under pressure he didn't see before, and in January, don't be surprised to see some of his starlets get raided. Compared to the issues surrounding Portsmouth and Hull, it seems to be small potatoes at Upton Park. I think perhaps next season, not the forthcoming one, will be a breakout one, and for now, Zola and his kiddies just have to bid their time.

Wigan Athletic

Biggest Strength A strong backline remains despite something of a selloff
Biggest Weakness Since January, they've sold their three best players in Heskey, Palacios and Valencia.
X Factor Can Roberto Martinez replace Steve Bruce?
Achilles Heel Their new best player is probably Titus Bramble.
Prediction 15th

Wigan has been rather inspiring in how once they got the Premiership in 2005, they held on for dear life and haven't let go. They have had a history of selling their best players, and these past 8 months have been no different. Gone are Emilie Heskey, Wilson Palacios and Antonio Valencia, all three onto bigger and better things. It's one thing to replace a key player, it's an entirely different thing to replace 3. Wigan was in pole position for a Europa league spot even towards the latter half of last season, but their newly-deplted squad fell down to 11th. This year, they'll fall a little further. Wigan wasn't particularly interesting even with those talented players, and now it appears, it'll be even less so. Don't expect to see Wigan in the mix of things for Europa again, instead, they'll be a team slipping back into lower-mid table obscurity.

Wolverhampton Wanderers

Biggest Strength Luck of the Irish: Mick McCarthy and Kevin Doyle!
Biggest Weakness McCarthy doesn't have the world's best history with keeping teams up
X Factor They have a lot of new signings, how will they all gel?
Achilles Heel They're a championship team who signed players from championship-level teams. Will that be enough?
Prediction 14th

When it comes to teams I'm going to cheer for next year, Wolverhampton has be included. Besides their Irish element, they have an American keeper in Marcus Hahnemann! For those keeping track at home, that means there are currently 3 American goalies starting in England with a fourth backing up another American! Decent days for American footy. I really don't know a ton about Wolves, considering as I stated above, I never watch the Championship. I'm not going to pretend I have working knowledge of this team, and I'm just going to mention how McCarthy is a quality manager, Doyle is a quality striker and they seemed to have made some decent signings elsewhere. Combined with a squad that won the Championship rather handidly last season, it should be enough to keep them safe.

For those of you who need a recap, here is how my table looks:
1. Liverpool
2. Manchester United
3. Chelsea
4. Manchester City
5. Arsenal
6. Everton
7. Tottenham Hotspur
8. Aston Villa
9. Fulham
10. West Ham United
11. Blackburn Rovers
12. Sunderland
13. Stoke City
14. Wolverhampton Wanderers
15. Wigan Athletic
16. Bolton Wanderers
17. Birmingham
18. Burnley
19. Hull City
20. Portsmouth

There you go, there's my preview. It's like you don't even have to watch the season now, you know how it ends!

The Death of a Fan: The Ballad of Steve Slaton

2009-08-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

One thing needs to be known at the beginning of this post. I'm a huge sports fan. Huge. I check major sports websites multiple times per day. I read virtually every relevant story produced by major newsoutlets on sports I follow. I will watch SportsCenter and sit through commentary on basically any sport. I'll even watch an entire episode of Around the Horn. Point is, I love sports. I don't know why, and honestly, I'd probably be a much better educated and skillful person if I rededicated that time to more useful pursuits, but it's unavoidable. I'm hard-wired.

Which brings me to the limitations of space and time. There are only 24 hours in a day, and really, only so much time I can devote to following sports. My sports-following section of my brain may be enlarged and overactive, however, it is not omnipotent, and I really can only follow so many sports at once. This explains why I have zero interest in hockey. I can appreciate a great play and will always watch the highlights on SportsCenter, but I can't name too many players other than Crosby and Ovechkin. Even with my Bruins in first place of the Eastern Conference, I really could not be bothered. Other qualifiers for this category of complete disinterest include NASCAR, Cricket and Timber Sports.

I then have my category of "Lazy Day" sports. In essence, I don't know anything about these sports other than the names of their major personalities and events, and will really only end up watching them if I'm casually flipping channels and stumble upon it. Sports here include Formula One Racing, Rugby and Women's Beach Volleyball.

Golf and Tennis get their own category. I really enjoy both sports, and follow all the majors (and in golf's case, other tournaments with big-name headliners), but I really wouldn't qualify as an intense fan. I'd say a casual observer.

Now we are onto the big area: Sports I Actually Follow. This group has had a long history of promotion and relegation. From the age of 3, my parents have pushed both basketball and soccer on me (depending on the parent). As the son of an Irish immigrant, I followed the English Premier League just as much as I followed the NBA, and I lived in Roy Keane jersey growing up (on the days I wasn't wearing my Scholes and Schmichael gear). However, I didn't live in a particularly ethnic area, and by that I mean, no one knew anything about soccer. You can only be the lonely schoolboy watching soccer for so long, and my focus shifted towards the genuinely American sports of football and baseball. I became a rapid fan of the Patriots and Red Sox, and went through a hiatus of soccer fandom from about the ages of 10 until 17. The World Cup was back on, and Poeltl and I started our new favorite game of watching YouTube soccer clips for hours on end. I dived in headfirst, becoming absorbed with all things soccer, and seeing an entirely new generation of teams and players than the ones I had left years before.

This post is not about me rediscovering soccer fandom however. You guys are obviously aware of this given how I spend my freetime writing long-winded entries like this one. The impetus for this post actually comes from a barber shop of all places. Yesterday afternoon, I decided to trim the mop that had sprung from my head, and went to an old-style barber shop in town. It's the kind of place with a straigh-razor shave and stench of barbicide that blasts you the moment you walk in the door. While you're waiting to get your cut, they have a stack of Sports Illustrated for you to thumb through. Pleasantly surprised that the issue I picked up was actually the current issue (not some ancient issue with a cover story "Manning or Rivers: Who Should Go First?") and thumbed through their NFL preview (or I guess, training camp review). Disinterestedly going through page after page, I read some things of interest and skip the ones that don't, just like everyone else. I finally discover, after ten grueling minutes, I'm done. I had read maybe a page and a half of actual information, and had just flipped through the entire magazine. I read a preview of USA-Mexico, and then an editorial about how we unfairly demonized Bonds, considering how it appears everyone was doping.

I went through the magazine again, and stopped for a moment on an interview with Steve Slaton. I've heard the name before, and was aware that he had a great rookie year for the Texans last season. I didn't know much else about him because, well, he plays for the Texans. The interview was a light human-interest type story with a slight fantasy bent, the type of stuff I used to lap up in earlier years. Perhaps my lost hours playing Madden contributed, but there was a time when I could name most starters on most NFL teams. And, without a doubt, name every player of decent ability on every team. So here I was, facing my own new-found ignorance on a pocket of American football, and I flipped the page. I had stopped caring.

To be honest, I can't name a single draft pick by my beloved New England Patriots. During our senior year of high school, I remember watching the whole first day of the draft at Colin's house, sleeping over and then watching the whole SECOND day of draft coverage. Very few players of worth are ever draft in those 5 rounds, and even if they are, you won't know for a few years. Maybe it's because Super Bowl XLII absolutely ripped every Patriots Fan's soul out, which is, without a doubt, the most horrific sporting memory of my lifetime (football is more my cup of tea than baseball, so it beats out the Boone home run). But, it isn't just football. Baseball is fading further into the rear view mirror. I can't tell you how many games are between us and the Yankees in a moment's notice, and I can't remember the last time I watched a baseball game on my own. I still love both sports-I'm going to a Red Sox game next week-but I can't seem to follow them with the same fervor as in years past. Football (the European kind) has taken over, and the only sport inpenetrable to its influence is my other true love, basketball. I can't chalk up my decaying fandom to newfound maturity, as I'm still procrastinating with sports as much as ever (needless to say, I'm writing this at my internship). I just never anticipated one sports fandom cannibalizing almost all others.

Basketball season is over, so I don't watch ESPN. As in, ever. Maybe there will be a soccer match on, and there's my exception. I would watch the same SportsCenter three times in a day and not be fazed; now I can't sit through 10 minutes. This post is in no way meant to be melancholy, merely observatory. After all, if it made me sad, I could very easily start following both sports again. But, chances are, I won't. I'll still watch Patriots games when they are on, I'll watch the SuperBowl and probably most of the playoffs. I'll watch most of the Red Sox playoff games, if they make it that far. I'm not abandoning them. But, if we lose, if things don't go our way, something tells me my normal pattern of destroying inanimate objects and absolute rage will probably not follow. There will be pangs of disappoint, but they'll be as fleeting as hopes for Newcastle's promotion. I'll just flip the channel over to some rerun of CSI: Miami and enjoy the slick, campy and absolutely ridiculous carnage (probably the greatest bad show to ever air). But now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go see if there's any transfer news.

Thoughts on the weekend

2009-08-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

Some random thoughts on the weekend:

The Charity Shield was a good match, happy both teams decided to play free and open (it was a friendly after all). Nani played well, Valencia showed determination, Owen showed sluggishness and Rooney had a nice goal. Foster has shown, again, that he really isn't a top quality keeper, and he really needs to be replaced as the long-term prospect for both Manchester United and England. For Chelsea players, Drogba showed some hustle, and given his history, always a good thing. Cech looked good, with the exception of the Nani goal, and Lampard had a great second half.

The second goal for Chelsea should not have been allowed however. It's pretty simple. If you're a ref who stops play for any injury, fine. If you're a ref who needs blood and severed limbs to stop play, fine. Just be consistent. Manchester United had a very attacking position when Evra beat Ballack and Ballack fell clutching his ribs. No foul had been committed, but the ref immediately halted play and had the ball booted to United's backline. Evra AND Berbatov were both down injured and play went on for a couple minutes, eventually leading to a goal that came from a gaping hole at (*Gasp*!) left back. If the Ballack thing wasn't called, I really don't have an issue with it. But it was, so it is rather unfair to the Mancs.

I then flipped over to watch about twenty minutes of a Bundesliga match between Bochum and Borussia Mochengladbach. I was excited to see Michael Bradley play, but really, I have to say, are shit Bundesliga teams that much better than MLS teams on good days? This was a comedy of errors in every way possible. Gladbach gave up 3-0 lead in under 20 minutes, and the miscues and overall shittiness was unbelievable. Germany has some depth at the top, but really I just think Bayern is slowly sinking down to a crap level. I honestly think France is either caught up or soon surpassing the Bundesliga in overall league quality. Bayern will always draw great players, but players they'll have to stubbornly hold onto. I mean really, outside of Ribery, who is a star in the Bundesliga? Luca Toni is horribly overrated, and basically lives offsides. You have some up-and-comers, but all players who want to LEAVE the Bundesliga. Ribery chose Bayern after he was getting decent interest after a good World Cup, but it's not like peole were breaking down doors and Bayern beat everyone else. I'm ranting, but all I'm trying to say is, those players on that field (relegation-fodder Bundesliga teams) sucked, and really, Michael Bradley could do better. And for all the Eurosnobs (myself sometimes included), it is really good proof that not all things European are better than MLS (though I'm sure the pay-structure/free agency aspect is).

Speaking of Bradley, and Yanks, I checked for Sochaux's result against Auxerre, and while Sochaux won, I really can't find any sort of written account. Charlie Davies was a sub in a 1-0 game in the 70th minute, so that shows that team has some definite plans for him. He signed a four-year deal, and I'm pretty excited considering he saw some action right away. Hannover 96 but Cherundolo played all match, and Kenny Cooper started (already!) for 1860 Berlin and scored in his debut! Pretty sick stuff. Jay Demerit played all match for Watford and Jemal Johnson captained all match for MK Dons. I'm not going into all the really minor leagues, but it's safe to say Americans were looking this past weekend (except maybe Michael Bradley, that sucked).

Though, things could be worse for Michael Bradley, he could still play for Heerenveen, where he'd have to wear this shirt:

That's dead serious by the way. That's their home kit.

All the actual news that's happened this past week will probably be covered in the next podcast or in some actual article, but for this little shindig, I'm out.

Podcast No. 2

2009-07-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

Just click the title for the download link.
Subjects include: this week's transfer news, reactions to the Gold Cup and the MLS All-Star game!

Fool's Gold: The Tale of the 2009 Gold Cup

2009-07-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

My initial, as-optimistic-as-I-can-be reaction to the Gold Cup is "I guess overall, this team overachieved" (they exceeded my original of going out in the semis). When I predicted a few weeks ago that we could win this Gold Cup, I was anticipating that all those new players named to the squad (Jozy, Davies, Fielhaber, etc) would all be playing in the knockout round; however none of them saw a minute after the group stage (most of them went back to their European clubs) and so the squad was left to its average MLS-ers and Danish league All-Stars. Given this fact, I am (initially) kind of amazed that we got all the way to the final.

My amazement (and my belief that we overachieved) quickly fades as I realize that we played nobody of any significance to get there; a group consiting of Grenada (a terrible team who by the way were lacking their best player, the Rev's Shalrie Joseph), the Honduran B-team, and Haiti provided really no standard of any quality against which we can judge our C-squad. Panama in the quarterfinals took us 120 minutes to dispose of, while in the semis Honduras' B-teamers once again proved that they belong on the B-team.

So we took the cake walk all the way to the final, and it looks like we have a decent shot at it; USA's C-team vs Mexico's B-team... is there really that big a gulf in skill-level, I asked myself? We at least have some players who are capable of putting in a decent performance, namely Holden, Rogers, and Ching. Well, these players did not do themselves or their reputations any good services on Sunday. I remember one thing about each of them from the final: Holden's first half miss, Rogers' amazing run through 5 Mexicans which was finished by an awful cross, and Ching's general lack of speed. Notice that none of these are anything to put on the resume.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not pointing fingers; everyone-everyone- was crap. Crap. I was embarassed for them in that second half. As I watch the goals (very much in the same way our defenders watched the goals), it's like our defenders are both totally inept and totally indifferent. I've never seen such a beatdown in soccer, and this includes the 8-0 beating of Barbados. Credit to the Mexicans, they stepped up and dominated us on our own soil, which hadn't happened in 10 years.

We were (or at least should have been, I don't know what the oddsmakers ended up deciding) underdogs, even though at home. But were we five goal underdogs? I think not. We didn't earn ourselves the smallest speck of respect on Sunday, and if any of these players are hoping for call-ups in the future (you know, for games that actually matter), they are going to have to:

1. Play well at a club level that is higher than MLS

and

2. Hope that Bob Bradley is a forgiving man (except for Holden and Rogers, who I think earned themselves enough USMNT credit in the games leading up to the final to be considered "in the mix" for the A-team).

Otherwise, this Gold Cup will have taught us nothing more than 21 of the 23 man roster are not good enough to hack it at the international level.

La Copa de Oro: el final!!

2009-07-23T21:53:00.000-07:00

Pues, es imposible que yo escriba este articulo totalmente en Castellano, entonces voy a escribir en Ingles, la idioma de los EEUU!!!!

So it all comes down to this; a tournament filled with B to C squads for all the major nations involved ends up the way we were all hoping it would- USA vs Mexico. And guess who's going? ME, along with Mr. Poeltl himself and possibly the Gersh as well as my two older brothers. I must say this final will be of substantially less quality than the 2007 final, but still I am expecting a hotly contested game. I mean it's USA-Mexico. Mexicans resent us for many reasons, and we resent Mexicans for almost no reasons- but regardless of reasons or lack there of, the resentment itself is what I am getting at. These two nations don't like each other one bit. It's going to get nasty at the final.

On to game analysis/previewing:

We get to see the "next generation" Mexicans (including Dos Santos, Vela, and Ochoa, among many others who play in la Primera de Mexico and therefore I know nothing about them) vs the "has beens, never was, and/or never will bes" of the USA. While that may sound a little harsh on the US players, it's kind of true. We do have some players in this tournament whom I rate very highly (Holden, Beckerman, Rogers) but none of them are forseeably going to earn a starting spot in the National Team (for more in-depth coverage of this topic, download our PODCAST from July 20th!).

I would fully expect, without doing any kind of matchup analysis, that Mexico will be fielding a better team than we will. I know others will disagree, but Dos Santos and Vela, though unproven in the Premiership, are players who I believe to be talented and prepared enough for regular time in the English top flight, and therefore will probably be the two most talented players on the field on Sunday. Ochoa is the Brad Guzan of Mexico, although he is much further along in the process of inheriting the throne of number one for his country than Guzan is. But regardless of comparisons to gringo keepers, Ochoa is a shotstopper of the highest quality, the type of keeper who knows where to position himself, knows when to act and how to act, and he has the reflexes of a cat... a wild cat. Other than that I know pitiously little of the Mexican team in this tournament, really the Mexican team in general- I will make it a goal of mine to follow el Tri more closely in the future, as they are our closest and most hated rival.

Moving on to los jugadores estadounidenses, look for Stuart Holden to play a huge role in this match. Leading the team in goals and assists for this tournament, Stuey has been a force on the right side of midfield, though I would hesitate to call him a "winger" per se. His style of play is not to fly up the sidelines like Sean Wright-Phillips or Aaron Lennon- Holden almost reminds me of a CM playing out on the right (which, depending on who you ask, he is). I've been impressed by Holden's passing in this tournament, as well as his SICK equalized in injury time vs Haiti (http://www.101greatgoals.com/videodisplay/2934542/). He is doing his best to break into the A team for the United States. He really could not be making much better of a case for himself, but to be honest he just won't be able to break into the middle (our depth at CM is incredible) and with Dempsey and Donovan on the wings, there is no room for Stu to boogie (if you get that reference... you ROCK. Also for more on this topic, once again download the PODCAST!!!). As for Kyle Beckerman, I expect to see very much a similar player to Holden in the final, only playing in the center of the pitch. These two would make a very interesting reality TV show pairing, like on the Amazing Race or something- somebody should get on that.

Right, well I am exhausted and cannot finish this post right now, but rest assured, I will give a detailed account of my trip to the Gold Cup final on here, and hopefully my tale will have a happy ending... Brian Ching will lift (or attempt to lift) the Gold Cup in victory!

To arms!! To WAR!!

Fashion Failures: Ugliest Kits for Upcoming Season

2009-07-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have not heard, Getafe have recently unveiled their new kits, and I have to say, not only are they hideous, they are quite disturbing.
Yes, they're ugly, but what happens when you want to pull your shirt over your head in exuberant celebration of a goal. Unfortunately, the King has you covered....literally.

This is a step way too far, and if I played for Getafe, I could never, ever use my shirt in that fashion. Absolutely horrible. But anyways, I thought I'd do a segment on the (many) ugly kits that will be breaking your televisions in the coming year. The aforementioned Getafe wins due to their shameless marketing, but lets see who else makes the cut. Starting with England:

Manchester United Home Kit
This isn't sour grapes, it's really just, I mean look at them. They look a Chevron ad.

Newcastle United Away Kit
Uh, this looks like a fancy French vanilla ice cream, that really doesn't turn out too well. Pretty god-awful.

Olympique Lyonnais Away Kit
Good god.

Everton FC Home Kit
Sorry Kyle, this is a pretty ugly shirt. Big downgrade.

Bolton Wanderers Home Kit
I keep picking on the Brits, but they're losing the money battle, the champions league and NOW, the fashion battle. I don't even know what to say about Bolton's new jerseys, total dogshit.

Chelsea FC Home kit
This really comes down to something simple. You're Chelsea. You have a great shade of blue for your home color. Your jerseys should always just look fantastic. And then, you listen to Kramer and decide you need a "manssiere"

Racing Santandar All Kits
The chicks are great, but these colors are not. This is a crayon box on crack.

Beskitas Away Kit
Some people claim they like this. Then again, some people claim to enjoy watching cricket.

Well I'm done, there are some gloriously ugly kits for you guys to get excited about. This was in no way exhaustive (I looked for maybe 15 minutes), so if you guys find some other fantastically fugly shirts, post them up!

July 20th Podcast

2009-07-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to the July 20th Podcast, courtesy of MediaFire. Just click on the Post Title. Just a warning, when you open the download link, it opens some pop-ups. Enjoy!

USA-Honduras Game Log

2009-07-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry about the tardiness of this post; I've just been caught with random happenings and was gone in Vermont for the weekend. Anyways, on with the game log!

I'd like to first point out how hilariously large the Gold Cup actually is. The world cup is the size of a large goblet, the Gold Cup is literally the biggest trophy I have ever seen. Aliens from space would assume this is the single most prestigious trophy in the world.

22-0-1 in the group stage. Always comforting.

Starting XIs:
I don't know a single player other than Palacios, who will surely be the best player on the pitch tonight.

USA Starting XI:
Adu Ching
Quaranta Beckerman Pause Rogers
Cherundolo Parkhurst Marshall Pearce
Perkins

I only have heard of Rogers from his domination at the Grenada game (ooohhh how impressive) and then I only know Adu, Ching and Cherundolo well, and know only bad things about Parkhurst and Pearce. I could be more thrilled by the lineup: Adu is unproven, Ching isn't particularly talented and then everyone else not named Cherundolo either sucks or is unknown.

Pretty big Honduran support here, always good to see the road crew.

After the coin toss, the refs put their fists together in a foursome as if they're on Captain Planet. Is this good or bad?

1' Early corner, always a good sign.
2' I'm sure Pause and Beckerman played well against Grenada, but no matter how well they play, sorry commentators, they are NOT closing the gap on the starting midfielders.
3' Wow, we almost shipped a goal (an English phrase I adore), sloppy play.
4' Oh, it's Carlos Palacios. Who the fuck is that? Well so much for Wilson Palacios being the best player on the field. Now everyone sucks.
6' Do we need to go for super-authentic Latin pronounciation? It sounds so forced. I feel like Americans are the only people on Earth who feel like they're not entitled to have their own accent. No one will be insulted if you say a Latin name with a white American accent, and you won't get laughed at.
8' We look like shit, this is so sloppy. Considering the quality of the other side, I feel like this is going to be a "Sloppy Drunken Hookup" game. It was sloppy, it was ugly, no one wanted to watch it, but at the end of it, you got laid anyways.
10' Why is Honduras's B team here? What is their A team up to? They had no other touneys.
12' Weak free kick by Freddy Adu.
13' Honduras doesn't really want to win this, and we keep shooting ourselves in the foot. I, on the other hand, want to shoot myself in the face.
14' God, Heath Pearce sucks.
15' I like this Rogers fella, he's exciting, though not nearly as exciting as this terrier of a commentator would have you believe.
17' Just as I start to like him, Rogers loses the ball in a particularly dumb fashion.
19' Honduran coach Reyna is a professor apparently, but honestly looks much more like a drunk barfly who goes off the handle whenever someone asks him where his life went wrong.
20' Honestly, the Honduran "B" team is the better team thusfar, but they are gunning for the Guinness World Record for whiffs in a single game.
22' Ching misses a golden, albeit difficult, opportunity, but that was great play by Beckerman.
25' Speaking of Beckerman, is there a reason we have a white rastafarian? Do you think he would have been a top player if he had shaved that shit?
27' Decent corner.
28' Ref is "letting them play." This game is honestly going to have to take a knife to get a card.
30' Martinez just missed a one-on-one with Perkins that he had all day, all park and all life to regret. As unforgiveable as it gets.
32' Pause just handballs. That may be the first time he touched the ball.
34' Adu misses a free header from 6m out, and Rogers skys a shot from 30m. Sigh.
36' Ching just got DECKED.
38' Horrendous finishing. This is painful to watch.
40' Frustration tackle by Heath Pearce, absolutely moronic. Deserved the yellow.
42' Both teams playing for half.
44' Rogers is ready for Europe, he has been diving all half.
45' Pearce is AWFUL!

Well that was ugly. Honduras has been the better side. Rogers has had great and awful moves, Beckerman has been the best and Heath Pearce has unfortunately been the worst.

51' I was more interested in making myself sandwiches. Missed the first six minutes. More horrendous finishing greets me as I return, though Ching nearly lands a nasty goal.
55' Rogers can effortlessly get to the wing.
57' Great Honduras chance, followed by a great counter. This is futbol!
61' Rogers really could be great if he puts it all together.
63' Feilhaber for Pause, Davies for Adu. Great subs, massive upgrades, though I'm sorry John, I think "household name" is pushing it for Charlie Davies.
66' Ok, no one was more excited by Oguchi Onyewu going to Milan than me (read below), but one nasty drawback: commentators getting a little too, shal we say hopeful?, with transfers. "Charlie Davies could be going to a top European club, even a Real Madrid, perhaps?" Perhaps not.
68' Don't get me wrong, I love Stanky Legg Davies, I'm just saying he won't be going to Real Madrid anytime soon (or later most likely).
71' Davies nearly COBRA STRIKES Escobar for a goal. That leg is capable of so much.
74' BRILLIANT GOAL! Great play by Feilhaber, set the whole thing up, but well played by Ching and then great pass/hold by Davies and Quaranta finishes emphatically.
77' Davies is looking quite tricky, I like it.
79' GOL! Cherundolo puts in a great cross, Ching finishes it, all started by a cheeky free kick. All great things. Cherundolo wants that starting spot, and probably deserves it.
81' Look, I give commentators a lot of flak. But can someone explain to me what exactly a "Bundesliga cross" is? I can understand a "non-MLS" cross, and that would be a good one.
82' Cooper for Brian Ching. Might as well. Cooper is the poor man's Conor Casey. Which is probably way too harsh of a insult. Sorry coop.
85' Looking positively Euro with this one-touch pass possession. Benny Feilhaber might become the best American outfielder in a few years.
86' A screamer by Cooper. Casey is now the poor man's Cooper, that shot was enough.
87' Well, my TV is fucking up, and I can't see anything. This looks like it for the journal, though as we all know, it all ended up OK. Giblinho, signing off.

Onyewu to Milan! What does it mean?!

2009-07-07T08:16:00.000-07:00

Well, there's another one from left field. In a 24 hour span, I've learnt about an American player whom I have never heard of being transferred from an amateur team to fifth best team in England, and then the next day, a player who failed to impress at NEWCASTLE, played in Belgium and I personally derided for a horrible performance in the 06 World Cup, has been signed by one of the most prestigious clubs in the world to replace one of the greatest defenders in history. Quite the day.

Onyewu to Milan is really quite the shocker, regardless of his playing history or nationalty. The fact of the matter is, the only other teams who were rumored to be interested in him were newly promoted Birmingham and Wolverhampton, and in the 11th hour, a little outfit known as AC Milan swooped in and took him. Does his Confederations Cup performance have anything to do with this? Obviously. He played lights out from the third game on, shutting down Egypt and Spain, and played quite respectably against Brazil. I'm still not fully over the shock, and if I may, I believe I'd like to give a quick recap of Onyewu's career:

Signs for then-Ligue 1 FC Metz (3 Appearances in 3 years) 2002-2004
Sent on loan to La Louviere in 2003 (First Division Belgian Team that is eventually rocked by gambling scandal in 2006, and is now no longer in existence) (24 Appearances)
Sent on loan to Standard Liege, and eventually made permanent 2004-2009, wins Juniper League in 2008 and 2009, makes 179 appearances, wins Foreign Player of the Year and makes the Best XI all full years spent there
Sent on Loan to Newcastle United (2007), but is paired with Titus Bramble, and both do an excellent impression of Dumb & Dumber and the deal is not made permanent
Signed by AC Milan (2009)

Well, I noticed two things about Oguchi Onyewu. One, he did far better in Belgium than I truly realized, and two, you do NOT mess with him in ANY capacity. Look at the teams who gave up on him. Metz, one of the most prestigious teams in France, was relegated. La Louviere doesn't even exist anymore due to a gambling scandal. We all know the current fate of Newcastle. And Standard Liege plays in BELGIUM! To be fair,he really just outgrew Liege, and so they will probably not be cursed.

You don't mess with the Gooch

Onyewu is going in as Maldini's heir, and I really think he can live up to it. Onyewu is a human wall, and his play is very well suited to the Italian league (they play slow and deliberate, with lots of headers, he will eat them alive). But, one final question. Is this the highest an American has ever gone in the club world? Surely, it's hard to argue that a club could be more prestigious than AC Milan, but Milan is in a down time, in a down time for Italian Serie A (though it should be noted that they were the Champions of Europe in only 2007). Where does this rank as the most prestigious landings of Americans?

Tim Howard Manchester United Duration: 2003-2006, 3 Seasons
Timbo Slice probably gets the nod here. He played first choice keeper for three seasons, and made the PFA Best XI in his first year. He had that awful mistake to Porto, and he really never recovered for the Red Devils. The only reason he stayed in the lineup those next two seasons was purely off how bad his competitors were. After appearing 40 times his first year, he made only 33 apperances over the next two. After lashing out when Edwin Van der Sar was signed, he went onto Bluer pastures and signed with Everton. Overall, started promising but ultimately was quite disappointing for quite possibly the greatest American player ever.

Brad Freidel Liverpool Duration: 1997-2000, 3 Seasons
Went to a slightly worse (at the time) team in England, a little earlier. Unlike Howard, he never really solidified himself in the starting role, and only made 31 appearances over 3 seasons for the Scousers, and only 4 in his last season there. After three frustrating years, moved onto Blackburn Rovers.

Landon Donovan Bayern Munich Duration: 2009, A Few Months
Well, I would label this as glamorous a club, and it is nice as Landon is the first outfield player on this list, but honestly, he made only six competitive appearances (not counting friendlies) and has still yet to score in a competitive European match. Landy came back after Rummenigge stated that all new strikers (who would have to be backups to Klose, Toni and Podolski) should be young "with perspective." To be fair, Landon really shouldn't be backing up at this stage in his career, and it really is a shame that his German dream didn't work out. I would expect him to make a big European move sometime in the next twelve months however, and if he doesn't after the World Cup in 2010, he never will.

Jozy Altidore Villareal Duration: Ongoing, signed in 2008
Jozy now loses his crown as the outfield American on the best team. To be fair, Jozy has yet to really star for Villareal, and was on loan with Xerez for most of last season, and has made only six appearances, but did become the first American to score in La Liga. Villareal remain high on him (which is understandable, as he is only 19), and sent him to Xerez over Everton so he could better assimilate into Spanish culture. I expect only bigger and better things from Altidore, and if you seem in Barca or Real Madrid in five years, I wouldn't be surprised. However, for the time being, his being at Villareal can't compete with AC Milan.

DaMarcus Beasley PSV Eindhoven Duration: 2004-2006, 2 Years
Remember when DMB was considered the next big thing? We would argue, who would be the best American player, DMB or Landy Cakes (no Demps in the discussion)? Well, sadly for everyone involved, that argument is long over, as is DMB's hopes for the national team or any other club that isn't in the MLS unless he starts to turn everything around. It's hard to blame him, as the injuries have really piled up and he is never really game-fit anymore, but he has bounced around Europe rather unsuccessfully, and in my opinion should return to more American pastures. Unless he goes to Sweden, Norway or some other crap league, he is just going to keep struggling and if he wants any hope of coming back, he needs to be a star at SOME level again. He played in 76 games for Eindhoven, and scored 15 times (not bad for a winger), but was really more of a disappointment his second year. He became the first American to play in a semifinal of the Champions League and he got to play under Guus Hiddink. Unfortunately, he bounced from PSV to City to Rangers, and has played less and less at each destination. He has fallen out of the starting lineup of Rangers, and his performance at the Confederations Cup won't have anyone rushing to put him back in.

That's really it. I am only doing players who were transferred to perennial Champions League clubs, and with all due respect to Claudio Reyna, Maurice Edu, Jonathan Spector, Clint Dempsey, Carlos Bocanegra, Brad Freidel, Tim Howard and DMB (again), and scores of other Americans playing in Europe, but clubs such as Rangers, Manchester City, West Ham, Fulham, Rennes, Tottenham or Everton don't really make the cut. PSV could probably be left off, but DMB did play in a CL Semifinal, and that can't really be understated. Looking back, Onyewu's move is clearly the biggest ever for a field player. The only clubs on that list that truly compete with Milan in prestige are Man U, Liverpool and Bayern. Those three all ended poorly, and only one of those is an outfield player, and he was a loan. The Gooch carries quite a weight on those massive shoulders all of a sudden, because if the Gooch can solidify himself as a top-class world defender, teams are going to realize (even more than they have already) that Americans can not only play in Europe, but play at the highest level, at the best clubs. Onward, Sir Gooch, ONWARD!

Just who exactly is Anton Peterlin?

2009-07-06T18:59:00.001-07:00

NEWS FLASH: Everton FC have signed the latest, greatest American sensation! Anton Peterlin!

Wait, who?

Well, I've never heard of him, but then again, I don't spend a lot of time watching the USL Premier Development League. Anton was the star player for the Ventura County Fusion, a team so impressive it uses a high school's stadium for its home games. After a stellar performance, he was being courted by Chicago and San Jose, but out of nowhere (well really out of a series of mind-blowingly improbable events), David Moyes hands the kid a 10-day trial. He trains with the first team, and apparently "did not look out of place." Credit to Peterlin, he took the most of his opportunity, and now he is going from an amateur league to the fifth best team in England (yes it really is an amateur league).

Well lets, put a face to him before we get some background:

He is a 22-year old Defensive Midfielder from California who played for UC Santa Cruz and then Cal Polytech. He has dual citizenship with Denmark (cap him! cap him now! we can't lose another one!) and as correctly pointed out by many other sources, has a life story remarkably like that of the movie Goal! I wish I could write more about him, but everyone else seems as amazed by this as we are. I like the fact that Americans can be signed on pure promise now, and I hope Anton Peterlin proves Moyes right. Now, I present to you the only video that is viewable when you search Anton Petelrin on YouTube:

Stanky Leggs in Football: An Investigation

2009-07-06T18:27:00.000-07:00

Charlie Davies has proven to be a revelation for more than one reason the past month. Not only is he a great foil for star-in-the-making Jozy Altidore, a high-intensity striker who always harrasses defenses and never seems to slow down, he also is single-handedly bringing the Stanky Legg to the world's game. For those of you not familiar with the Stanky Legg, here is what I'm referring to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKr0DeUuy-o(sorry no embeds)

Charlie Davies (with sidekick Altidore) showcased their own rendition already in the Confederations Cup:

Then Charlie busted it out in full against mighty Grenada

The real question is, will it catch on? Sweden already seems to have a rather big hardon for Charlie Davies, will we see Swedes do their own rendition of the Stanky Legg? (For those of you who are wondering, stanky leg in Swedish is "Obehagligt Ben")

The Updated Gold Cup Roster

2009-07-03T07:18:00.000-07:00

The US, due to a rule change (it allows nations who participate in the Confederations Cup to bring 30, as opposed to 23 players to the Gold cup in that same year) has now added 7 players to it's Gold Cup roster. They are:

Altidore, Casey, Feilhaber, Clark, Kljestan, Bornstein, and Guzan.

Well, this obviously changes the lineup quite a bit, doesn't it? My new best XI would be something along the lines of:

Guzan
Cherundolo Marshall Parkhurst Bornstein
Rogers R.Clark Feilhaber Adu (playing the Donovan role)
Davies Altidore

Five out of the new eleven were not even in the squad when I made my first post... I think a change of expectations for this team is to be expected. With all these guys coming in from the Confederations Cup, probably feeling really confident right about now, expect us to get past Costa Rica in the semis like I predicted... Honestly we can probably win the Gold Cup at this point. Mexico is in tatters, Costa Rica is our closest competition. And if you ask me, the team above could handle Costa Rica.

OOOOOOOOHHHHHH the Yanks are coming!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zDVenF_kEQ

Question: What's the difference between the summer of 07 and the summer of 09?

2009-06-29T11:56:00.000-07:00

Answer: In 09, the USSF chose the correct tournament to take seriously.

With the Confederations Cup behind us, it is now the Gold Cup that comes to Bob Bradley's attention. A less-than B strength roster has been called up, leading many to believe that the US will not retain the title this time around. The official roster includes:

GOALKEEPERS- Jon Busch (Chicago Fire), Troy Perkins (IK Start), Luis Robles (FC Kaiserslautern)

DEFENDERS- Steve Cherundolo (Hannover 96), Jimmy Conrad (Kansas City Wizards), Clarence Goodson (IK Start), Jay Heaps (New England Revolution), Chad Marshall (Columbus Crew), Michael Parkhurst (FC Nordsjaellands), Heath Pearce (Hansa Rostock)

MIDFIELDERS- Davy Arnaud (Kansas City Wizards), Kyle Beckerman (Real Salt Lake), Colin Clark (Colorado Rapids), Sam Cronin (Toronto FC), Brad Evans (Seattle Sounders), Stuart Holden (Houston Dynamo), Logan Pause (Chicago Fire), Robbie Rogers (Columbus Crew)

FORWARDS- Freddy Adu (AS Monaco), Brian Ching (Houston Dynamo), Kenny Cooper (FC Dallas), Charlie Davies (Hammarby IF), Santino Quaranta (D.C. United)

Obviously this roster is missing a lot of talent. Mostly this is because players are not typically expected to be available for two tournaments over the course of a single off-season, and given that the US made the Confed. Cup its primary tournament this year, that's where all of the talent went. So now we are left with the upper-tier of MLS and our contingent of Denmark players who are (hopefully) all vying to make a name for themselves in the USMNT picture. Given my somewhat limited knowledge of our roster, here is my starting XI:

Busch
Cherundolo Conrad Parkhurst Marshall
Holden
Rogers Clark
Adu
Davies Cooper

Busch in goal for me is a no-brainer. MLS Goalkeeper of the Year is not an award to scoff at, given the quality of keepers in America's top flight.

Cherundolo and Conrad- pencil them in. These are experienced guys who are still in the conversation for spots on our A-team, much less this C+ roster.

Parkhurst and Marshall are the two latest winners of MLS Defender of the Year, and it is for this reason that I put them in the team. I know next to nothing about the rest of our defenders (except for Heath Pierce, but I think I've seen enough out of him for a while...).

Holden I remember as being the BOSS back when I first started to watch MLS (summer of 2007). He was part of a Dynamo midfield that included Ricardo Clark and Dwayne de Rosario, a combination that yeilded back-to-back MLS cups.

Robbie Rogers is an obvious choice for RM, he's been a key to Colombus' recent success and at 22 is looking to trade in MLS for Europe very soon.

Colin Clark I am not so sure of. I know for a fact that he plays the LW for Colorado, though honestly I am not sure of his skill level. I know he has had a break-out year in 2009, but is that really saying something? For what it's worth, Colorado have been a great turnaround story this season.

Adu is another obvious choice, he's probably got the most talent of anyone on the roster. He has ALWAYS played well in a US jersey, I can't wait to see him in that attacking midfielder/playmaker role once again. Maybe he can use this tournament to convince a club to buy him (preferably a club that will PLAY HIM).

Davies and Cooper up top is not exactly a given, but I think it will work very well. Honestly I think a Ching-Cooper pairing would be more effective, but there is no way Charlie Davies is going to ride the bench in this tournament, given that everyone is all about him after the Confed Cup. Davies is another player I would love to see move to a better league (Sweden? Come on, man, you're better than that...).

Let me be honest in saying that I do not know if Chad Marshall has ever played left back, I just desperately wanted to keep Heath Pierce out of my starting XI. Also I am not totally sure of whether or not Stuart Holden is a holding midfielder by trade at the Dynamo, I am reasonably confident that he is but I could be wrong. Really I put him in because he is just a much better player than the other of the midfielders on the roster that could potentially fill that DM position (maybe Kyle Beckerman could play there instead? Those dreads would be enough to break up any kind of offense that Mexico throws at us...).

Some notable absentees that I wanted to see in this squad are:

Chris Seitz- I was under the impression that he was the next Marcus Hanneman (always overshadowed by his contemporary keepers, but still a quality shot-stopper), so I figured that this would be a great tournament for him to showcase himself in.

Eddie Johnson- I know that Eddie has improved during his time in England. Now I want to see him show his improvement for the Nats... Unfortunately he won't be getting that chance in the Gold Cup. I just have to wonder why.

Jose Francisco Torres- The lone standout of the USA-Costa Rica match, I have been dying to see him get some more games for the US. He didn't get any time at the Confed Cup, which I was ok with, assuming that he would play a big role in the Gold Cup. I guess I was wrong. I assume that his club team (Mexico's Pachuca) didn't want to lose him for a further three weeks, given that they are preparing for the start of La Apertura.

Michael Orozco- Michael is a great defender, but he has not been called up since the Olympics. The Gold Cup seemed like the perfect venue for him to throw himself into the mix for the future of the US defense.

Sal Zizzo and Danny Szetela- I will group these guys together because they are basically the exact same story- midfielders who excelled at the U-20 WC a few years back, made moves to European clubs (Hannover 96 and Racing de Santander, respectively) but have seen little to no playing time. Szetela was loaned out to Serie-B side Brescia, where according to wikipedia he made 26 appearances. In any case, Serie-B is not much (if any) better than MLS so a season there is not much to speak of. These two haven't been getting any time on the International stage mainly because they have not showed development (through a lack of playing time), which is a perfectly good reason to not call someone up to an important match... but for this Gold Cup, which we are clearly not valuing as a major tournament, you would think that Bradley would give these two VERY promising players a chance.

Ok, so now on to my predictions: We will come out of group B on top (honestly I could see us faltering vs Honduras and coming in second, but let's be optimistic for a moment here). Winning group B will put us against a third-place team from group A or C, which could concievably be any of Panama, Jamaica, Canada, or El Salvador. None of those teams scares me, though with this roster, Canada could probably manage to beat us.

However, I am going to go with my head and say that we get past the 1/4 finals. In the next round we will most likely play Cosa Rica, and it is here in the Semis that I see our squad failing. Sadly, the USA will not retain the Gold Cup title.

Freddy A-Who?

2009-06-25T11:38:00.000-07:00

It seems like a long time ago that Freddy Adu was big news. In fact, it seems like a long time ago that Freddy Adu was even worth mentioning, for any reason whatsoever. The golden child is suddenly the red-headed stepchild, and considering how much playing time he is getting for his national team (riding the pine), his club team (loaned out) OR the team he was loaned to (lucky to ride the pine), it doesn't appear like Freddy is getting his fair shakes. Perhaps we are expecting too much of Adu too soon, as he is still very young (only just turned 20) and outside of England, most countries are reticent to give major playing time to youngsters (there were some brilliant articles about this in relation to the Federico Macheda saga and how that would not have been possible back home for Lazio). Lets just give a recap of the already-quite-eventful career of Mr. Adu (Adu's age is in parantheses):
1997: Family wins immigration lottery and moves to the DC area from Ghana (8)
Spotted early on by some soccer scouts, and is quickly put into to advanced soccer training and plays with the US Development Academy
At a U-14 tournament involving many strong club sides youth squads, Adu finishes the tournament as the MVP, leading scorer and leads his team to victory. Was offered a six-figure transfer to Inter Milan but his mother turns it down due to advice of his agents. Adu is 10.
2004: Selected first in the MLS Superdraft by DC United (14).

April 3, 2004: Youngest player to ever appear in the MLS

April 17, 2004: Youngest player ever to score in the MLS

2004-2006: Adu sees regular action for DC United, and eventually starts for them in 2006. He is selected as an all-star twice, though his first appearance was widely seen as a publicity stunt considering his less-than-all-star performance (not shameful when he is only 14). Over 87 total appearances, Adu found the net 11 times, though this goal average is hard to truly measure considering how often he was a substitute.(14-17)

February 2006: A very overhyped two-week trial with Manchester United sees Adu receive praise from Sir Alex, however he only plays with academy players for a couple weeks and then returns home, to much fanfare. (16)

December 2006: Adu is traded to Real Salt Lake. He has a rather uneventful season, falling below many expectations. He scores 2 goals in 11 appearances. (17).

Summer 2007: Adu captains the US U-20 squad in the U-20 World Cup, an event where the US played considerably well and raised expectations for the future of American talent. The United States is bounced in a rough semifinal match with Austria, losing in extra time. Adu finishes the tournament with 3 goals (a hat-trick against Poland)and is widely considered to have had a very strong showing in the tournament. Other notables on the team were now-senior-squad-regulars Jozy Altidore and Michael Bradley. (18)

July 30, 2007: Adu, after years of overseas transfer speculation, is finally transfered to Portugese side Benfica. Adu is initially very well-received by the coaching staff, and is promised increasing playing time and impresses the few times he is on the pitch. With a few weeks, that coaching staff is entirely fired. Adu does not see playing time again, and ends the season with only 11 total appearances, with 2 goals. (18).

July 2008: The following summer, as opposed to having Adu ride the pine all season again, Adu is sent for a full-season loan to AS Monaco, with an option to buy. Monaco took to Adu as enthusiastically as the new Benfica coaching staff, and Adu has 9 appearances for Monaco, all of them as a substitute. Monaco declined the right to buy Adu, and he will be returning to Benfica in the fall. (Currently 20)

So, there you go, a rather topsy-turvy tale for Mr. Adu, but one many footballers can relate to. You can pepper in there that Adu has only had 12 senior squad apperances, mostly as a substitute or in friendlies and has one goal to his name. There is good news and bad news. The good news is Adu is less than a month from turning 20, so he has plenty of time on his side, as he is still very young for a footballer of any class. The bad news is that he really needs to get out of Benfica and go to a league more focused on youth development, maybe a Holland or a lower-tier English squad. Really it doesn't matter where he goes, as long as he plays. In the last two injury-free years, he has made 20 appearances for a club team, and he started all of ZERO of them. Look, I know, younger players don't start, younger players need to develop, but Adu is in what I like to call the "Michelle Wie Zone." He was so good, so young that he was considered too advanced to play with his own age group, but his development was ironically stunted by him jumping so high so fast. He can't compete with seasoned professionals because he is too young, so he spends too much time languishing on the bench while players younger than him who come up in a more organic way, say a Jozy Altidore, end up flourishing before them as they were given time to develop. Adu hasn't been allowed to develop since he was 14. He has been constantly pushed as the next big thing. I mean, as a 15 year old, he whined to the media that he wasn't getting enough playing time. YOU ARE 15! He was a prima donna superstar at 15! Adu needs to stop being called up to tournaments he won't play in, and just start focusing on a league where he can play. He isn't getting much time in the reserves with Benfica/Monaco because he is too busy riding pine to actually play with *cough* lesser talents. Adu could use the consistent playing time, and he does quite well in slightly-less-talented situations. While he is an afterthought for the senior squad, Adu has dominated in every youth tournament he has ever been in, be it U14 through U23. Adu is far too young and talented to write his career off now, but for it to be saved, we need to stop worrying about him and let him work his way up through a club system. And no, that club system doesn't have to involve champions league.

USA-Costa Rica Game Diary

2009-06-06T19:53:00.001-07:00

Hey Colin, I really don't mean to be a dick and post the earlier game after yours, but I was busy before. Sorry dude. Anyways, here it goes.

Gotta say, Marvel Wynne is getting into the National Anthem. That's the type of spirit I want to see! By contrast, Dempsey looks like he just finished smoking a bowl.

4-3-3?!?!? I know Bradley is trying to shift things up, but how did Mr Two-Holding-Defensive-Midfielders suddenly bust out a three-striker formation? 20 Dollars says the most this is a 4-2-2.

Not too encouraged by the lineup out there. First off, Beasley at left back? The man isn't a good winger, and the only reason he is any good is because he is speedy. How is he going to stop anyone. Furthermore, it is a sad state of American Soccer that Pablo Mastroeni is still starting. The man belongs in a museum at this point. And I've never heard of Jose Torres. Looking great.
On a plus side, I haven't heard of a single Costa Rican player.
Costa Rica is currently 6-0-1 in their last 7 games against the US in Costa Rica. Shit. Considering I have NEVER heard of a Costa Rican player, this could actually prove to be a bad omen.
The ref is from Trinidad & Tobago. Great. Didn't we learn our lesson with refs from small countries with Ovrebo?

1' Howard has got some interesting sweats on. Looks like he just got out of an aerobics class for elderly women. Isn't it supposed to be sweltering here?
2' Uh....well then. I mean, credit where credit is due, that's a sick goal by Saborio. But Torres got turned pretty badly, and Old Man Winter (Pablo) was pathetic. Gave him way too much space.
6' My initial reaction to "there are 8 MLS players on the field" is OH GOD THIS IS DOOMED. However, Howard, Onyewu, Bocanegra, Torres, Beasley, Dempsey, Altidore...what is he talking about. Does he mean 8 field players who have, at one point in their career, played in the MLS? Would a baseball announcer start a game with "9 of the players on the pitch have played Minor League Baseball!" What a stupid comment.
7' This is Jozy's first game since December. Always makes you feel good when your starting striker is totally on-form.
10' And Beasley hasn't played since the beginning of April. Injuries or not, not good omens for the US.
13' Well that just made things go from bad to worse. Yet again, credit where credit is due, great attacking play and a fine finish by Borges but seriously? 2-0 Costa Rica
15' Torres gets the Alexsandr Hleb "Worst Attempt on Goal" award for this match. Congratulations young man!
16' Donovan looks disinterested and this shot reflects it. Like a golf chip, probably from a course he wishes he was playing right now...
18' USA FIFA Rank: 14. Costa Rica FIFA Rank: 41. Unless this is opposite day, you'd imagine play would reflect this. Also Wynne nearly shipped a goal by giving Saborio a free header.
22' I swear, John Harkes is a pseudonym. This guy sounds just like Pat McEnroe. As you can probably gather, I only watch sports that Americans suck at.
24' Wow, lazy passes all game. It can't be just the surface. Speaking of passing, is Michael Bradley playing? Where is he?
26' Quality free kick attempt from Demps. Though as Scoops pointed out to me, Harkes used the classic "we've seen him blast these in before" line. But have we?
30' Beasley just won a free kick by using the classic "out of control freight train" style of running into people. Naturally we botch the free kick.
37' UGLY UGLY Defense. No pressure on the ball whatsoever. Can we really lose to a team that has jerseys that make them look like a high school traveling team?
38' I just learnt that Saborio, the man with the sweet name that is KILLING us, has five goals in 36 Swiss League appearances. I'll repeat that. The striker, who only manages to score about once every six games in a borderline amateur league, is absolutely shredding us. Awesome.
42' Altidore may not play often in Spain but they sure are teaching him to dive well.
45' Another low and crappy free kick by Landy Cakes.

Well, that really couldn't have gone worse, other than the fact that we could be down more. I can't say that anything should be different in this match. We have not been robbed. We have not taken any good chances. Surprisingly, the best player on the pitch has been Torres. Well done. Mastroeni should be dragged out back and shot. Bradley is not playing apparently. Dempsey and Donovan definitely smoked some weed before the game. Altidore is rusty. The entire defense, noticeably Beasley, have been god-awful and Tim Howard is two more goals from killing everyone on the field.

45' Naturally, the ineffective Sacha Klejstan replaces Jose Torres. Brilliant.
51' And we should be down 3-0. Bob Bradley has told them that they should jump for headers right?
54' U-S-A! U-S-A!
57' A Mortal Kombat style clearance. I whole-heartedly approve.
63' Adu for Mastroeni! YES!
64' Another day, another shitty and low free kick.
67' I'd like to give you a new series, one I'd like to call "What's Clint Thinking?" This will start with "God, everyone around here sucks so much. Why am I even here? It's hot as balls, the surface sucks, my team sucks and I only get two months off every year! These assholes play in MLS, our reserves would run the table in that shitshow! Beasley just lost the ball again, fuck my life man. If I start sobbing uncontrollably, would Bradley sub me then?"
69' Wow, everyone just stopped on that one. Bradley gets burnt and then Bocanegra gives the guy 5 yards IN THE BOX. Howard had no chance and laid on the ground sobbing for a few minutes after the goal. Surprised by Bocanegra, normally reliable. Maybe we should start a "What's Carlos Thinking?" too. Probably sounds a lot like Clint.
71' Going to plagerize my fave sportswriter Bill Simmons (as if the running diary wasn't already a decently large ripoff) but sometimes you have to look around and ask "Can you go to war with these guys?" Outside of the Gooch and Howard, I don't think so. If you can't go to war with them, you're going to lose when it matters, and I see no reason why this team won't be another 1-point wonder like 06.
74' Ah yes, the Ole's have begun.
76' Ladies and Gentlemen, we have the first good shot of the night by the Americans! Congratulations boys, better late than never.
79' Jozy Altidore gets the Didier Drogba "Big Men Who Fall Easily" award for the night.
80' Dempsey for Charlie Davies. I mean, doesn't matter.
83' Wow, big acting job by the Costa Rican defender there. A literal two second difference between contact and the holding of the face. What possibly use would that serve now? You're up 3-0!
85' Davies should have been in all game! Maybe no one else cares anymore, but the US looks spirited and attacking now.
87' A horrible cross by Beasley. I mean, the man got dumped in Scotland. What do you want from him?
89' A very elaborate, four-man set piece clearly saved for games where they have insurmountable leads and want to fuck with the opponent. Surprisingly effective but a great save by Timbo Slice.
91' PENAL! Clinically taken by Landy Cakes. Well this changes everything.
93' And that's all she wrote! Suddenly, we find ourselves second and with the need to beat Honduras in a supposedly pro-Honduran environment. I don't care if we play on the White House Lawn, you can't win with how we played tonight. Onto Soldier Field!

USA v Honduras: Game Log

2009-06-06T18:18:00.001-07:00

Halftime thoughts:

Overall we are easily outplaying Honduras, from whom I actually expected much more of a fight. We seem to have put the Costa Rica performance out of our minds, as we are really going after this game, possessing the ball well, and dictating play reasonably well.

Their goal was well taken, a capitalization on Dempsey's dribbling error. Other than that goal, however, I have not been scared by many of the Hondurans' possessions. Palacios looks good in the middle (TOTTENHAM REPRESENT, SON!!!) but he has been offset by the total anonymity that his midfield partner Amado Guevara has assumed.

Our goal was (what else?) a Landon Donovan penalty, perhaps an unlucky break for the Hondurans, but it was fully deserved according to the run of play. The last 30 minutes of the half I felt were a solid shift for the US, particularly Clint Dempsey, who seems to have pulled his finger out of his anal sphincter. He has actually seemed to care this entire game!! It's a miracle!! Seriously though, I wonder what Bob Bradley did to motivate Dempsey... I am willing to bet it went something like this:

"Hey Clint, is there anything I can do to motivate you?"

"Sure Bob. Here is the starting line-up I want... Make it happen, or I will once again roam around as if I am 7000 times better than the rest of my country."

Other than Deuce coming through with some sick skills, Specter has looked like a stud out there, hopefully he can cement a place in the first team (perhaps at LB, with Cherundolo when healthy at RB). Clarke I think has looked good, especially when you see him next to Pablo Mastroeni who has been AWFUL once again (looks like he is being subber out for Feilhaber at halftime... nice). Altidore and Casey have been putting in the effort... no results yet, but don't be surprised to see one or both of them get on the scoresheet.

OK, second half is starting... peace out, suckas!!

2nd Half:

Feilhaber is immediately making an impact, and a BIG one. I wasn't there when Napoleon came out of exile and shook stuff up in France, but I would imagine that it was something like what Feilhaber is doing right now. This is arguably the most influential substitution that I have ever witnessed in any USA match. Take the black hole that is Pablo Mastroeni and replace him with Napoleon. It's kind of strange to say this, but Feilhaber's greatest strength (which he is displaying finely tonight) is that he just knows what to do. His field vision leads him to make the correct play almost every time.

******

(In proofreading the above paragraph, I realize that I may be jumping to conclusions with Feilhaber... He has provided excellent play for the US in the past (Gold Cup 2007 anyone?), but 45 minutes of excellence tonight does not forgive his 21 consecutive months of not impressing for club or country. Here's to hoping that Feilhaber can finally realize his massive potential.)

******

Other subs:

Jay Demerit played 20 solid minutes after Bocanegra went off. If Boca is going to be out for the Confederations Cup (I have no idea how serious his injury is, just saying worst case scenario) then I would feel pretty confident in Demerit to fill in. The only thing is that we would need someone else in the outfield to step up in terms of leadership (Boca is captain, after all...). This is where Benny "Napoleon" Feilhaber steps in...

Beasley looked below average, he didn't make any of the blunders that he made in Saprissa but he also did nothing to impress. He made a few stupid passes, had a few miscommunications, and all in all was unimpressive. Amazing that he managed to do so all in what, 10 minutes?

On to Donovan, who picked up his game big time in this second half. That LM role which has been often filled by Beasley seemed to suit Donovan well in the final 45 minutes (the first half not so much... I will give him a mulligan, as I can't remember a time when he has ever had to play LM before). He settled in perhaps a little more forward than the rest of the midfield line, but still behind the strikers enough that he could provide service from the left flank. Perhaps we have finally found a position for the jostled-around Landycakes?

Player Ratings:

Howard: 7- made some great clearences, even coming out of the box on several occasions

Specter: 7- solid defending, got forward very well... definitely convinced me that he should have a spot in the team.

Bocanegra: 8.5- best performance out of him since Guatemala. Classic Bocanegra goal, no scary moments that I can recall.

Bornstein: 6- didn't do much to impress until the final 10 minutes, which at least means that he's got plenty of endurance. And you know as a marathon runner myself that I value endurance very, very much.

Dempsey: 8 (MotM)- finally we see the same Clint Dempsey that plays at Fulham play for the USA. He wanted this game, you could see it from the opening minute when he chased down Guevara right off of the kick-off. Great footskills, which the USA sadly lacks very much, he took people on and scared the crap out of Honduras' defense.

Clark: 6- I was not blown away by his attacking, but he was great in the middle, breaking up play all over the place (a la Wilson Palacios?). I would assess him at this point as a poor man's Maurice Edu.

Donovan: 6.5- silent first half was made up for by a stellar second half. He looked comfortable on that left wing and did well to take players on 1v1. Also ran past Wilson Palacios like he was a red headed stepchild. But then he gave it away. But it was sweet.

Altidore and Casey: 5 each- like I said, they were trying really hard, running after everything (or maybe "chasing" after everything...implications that they were a bit unsuccessful), but just could never get anything to really scare los Catrachos. We missed Brian Ching, who is great at setting his strike partner up. Too bad Brian Ching is injured (NEVER thought I'd say that... but I am warming up to Ching. He's like a poor man's Emile Heskey).

Subs:

Feilhaber: 8- Napoleon reincarnated. Need I say more?
Demerit: 6- no-nonsense defending that he has put into practice in England for years. Great to have him as backup.
Beasley: 4.5- what has happened to the man who was at one point our undisputed 2nd best field player? He and Donovan used to tear it up. He needs to get his club career back on track, either by coming back to MLS (it might be a little early to do this, but the league would certainly welcome him) or maybe a move to a midlevel team in a league like France, Portugal or Holland. Anywhere really, just so long as he gets on the field with regularity, otherwise this could be the beginning of the end for the once feared DMB.

******************
Also I just want to say that as I have been writing my post game analysis, I have had the last 20 minutes of El Salvador vs Mexico on Telefutura... I love El Salvador. Period. They may have taken 2 points away from us, but they took all 3 away from Mexico tonight! Mexico are, as I write this, NOT in a good enough position to qualify for the World Cup (not even for the playoff with CONMEBOL). I fully expect them to turn it around and at least make come in 4th, probably 3rd, in the hexagonal... but here's to hoping...

This is Scoops Callahan... over and out.

Credit where Credit is Due

2009-05-28T06:05:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you all watched last night's (afternoon for those Stateside...) Champions League Final, and if your viewing experience was anything like mine, you were amazed continually by the virtuosity of Barcelona's players. The list could go on through every player on the pitch, but to name a two, Iniesta and Messi were ridiculous. The Spaniard carried the ball, connected with his forwards, recovered the ball on countless occasions fom the deflated Man U defense, and really was the thread that wove together Barcelona's attacking 2/3. I couldn't help but get chills when literally minutes ticked off the clock while the ball was under Barcelona's control. Especially in the final 30 minutes of the first half, they were untouchable.

Messi dominated as well - even the english, admittedly Manchester-supporting commentators noted his performance clearly outshined Ronaldo's. The Argentinian ran circles around Man U's defense, climaxing his amazing performance with a simply towering header to conclude the game's scoring. Messi's leap, suspending him in the air for a near eternity, put the 5'7" man on top of the football world. For lack of a more eloquent way of putting it, it was disgusting.

No team could match Barcelona last night, evidenced not only by their skill but by the scorecard which read 2-0 over the (previously) most likely candidate for best club in the world.

What impressed me very much, aside from the unreal level of play, was that in response to this skill, the Man U fans seated next to me were clapping and shaking their heads in disbelief after each astounding feat of Barcelona. That's called giving credit where credit is due, even if your team is at the losing end. In da words of my main man Ali-G, RESPECT.

Sportscenter Makes My Day

2009-05-26T10:03:00.000-07:00

Soccer is not common fodder for ESPN. On Sportscenter, soccer shows up once and a while, and while all MLS and US National Team games are shown, others are rather rare. Maybe an "ESPN Deportes" update with a couple goals shown from all the games of the world in the past week. In the Top 10 Plays, maybe an absolutely nasty goal will get the 8th spot or something. The only time they ever really promote soccer is when it involves the UEFA Champions League because...THEY SHOW IT. While I was thrilled that ESPN picked up the games, thinking it would result in a lot more exposure, I really don't see a huge difference yet as there is no real independent analysis. If ESPN picked up La Liga or Premiership games, I think it would result in a huge boon in the sport's interest, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

The reason I bring this all up is that the Top 10 Plays segment today was made up of the Top 10 plays from this year's Champion League! A rather strong list, though lacking some good contenders, and I liked that Iniesta's goal is first due to its importance. The anchor, don't know his name, kept referencing how much he loves soccer and how he freaked out during the Essien goal in the Barcelona game. All in all, very encouraging signs that the world's biggest sports network is dedicating its most popular segment of its popular and iconic show to soccer, even if only for a day.

Survival Sunday

2009-05-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

The 38th and final week of the Premier League season is just about upon us, and with it will come the relegation results. WBA are already down, with 4 other teams (Sunderland, Hull City, Newcastle and Middlesbrough) competing to stay out of the final 2 spots. The way I see it, Boro are already down. They have to win by a large goal difference AND get some help, not going to happen. Sorry, Mr Southgate, and good luck with your yo-yo skills.

Hull City have got no shot against Man U, as even Sir Alex Ferguson's C team is good enough to crush Hull. This simplifies things greatly, for if Hull lose, then Sunderland are safe. So for the final relegation spot, it is between Newcastle and Hull.

If these predictions hold true then it all comes down to Villa vs Newcastle (at Villa Park), from which (again if the predictions hold true) a draw will save the Geordies. Can they do it? Villa have been less then stellar for months, a shadow of the team that once held a 6 point lead for the fourth spot. The Villans have lost or drawn in 10 of their last 11 games, against arguably weaker opposition than what the Geordies will offer up on Sunday. As much as I hate to say it, I have a sneaky feeling that the Barcodes of Newcastle will achieve a 0-0 bore draw, enough to keep the Toon Army in the Premiership.

Well, so long, Phil Brown... and take your spray on tans with you.

Update: Chase for the Europa League!

2009-05-13T12:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, so as it stands, if Totts is gonna make it to Europa league, we've got to catch Fulham, who are 2 points up. Their remaining games are away to Newcastle and home to Everton. Ours are home to Man City and away to Liverpool (yikes).

The way I see it, Tottenham will beat Man City, but lose to Liverpool. That's as realistic as I can get. In that scenario, we would need Fulham to drop points in both of their remaining games.

So to break this down, is there any situation in which I can enivision Fulham dropping enough points? Well, It is easy to see Fulham losing to Everton. Newcastle have been abysmal and I know you can't rely on them to get the job done... but maybe by some miracle Shearer captures the magic of Tyneside and holds them to a draw?

Overall, I don't think it's looking too good for Tottenham. We basically either have to beat Liverpool or hope Newcastle beats/draws Fulham. Pretty unlikely to happen, in my opinion.

Anyways, I wish you luck, Harry, in your chase for Europe... You're gonna need it!

A mire of despair

2009-05-03T11:21:00.000-07:00

It seems every year there's one great escape story, or at the very least, an attempt at one. Last year was Fulham's great escape, however, this year there seem to be no surprises. The bottom five teams are absolutely dreadful, and I don't expect any of them to go on a run to safety. Hull and Sunderland have points on Boro, Toon and WBA, and that's all they'll need. Toon and Boro are stuck on 31, and if they end up with 33, that'll be great for them. All five of these teams simply suck. Newcastle and Boro play next week, and if a team wins that, they'll have a chance, as none of these teams face each other outside of that one match. If Boro and Toon tie, they'll both go down. I'd vote to have all five go down this year; none of them have any fight in them. I think there should be a new rule: 38 point threshold. If you don't average a point a game, you don't deserve to stay in the premier league. Rovers will (hopefully) get a point out of their next three matches, meaning that this would send these five awful teams down. You won't have a repeat of 2002 when West Ham went down with 42 points, and then bounced straight back up because they were too good for the Championship. I won't shed any tears of more yo-yo clubs being denied a year in the Premier League.
Lets look at the teams currently bouncing back up this year:
Wolves I think Wolves will get up and stay up. They're a big club, a quality side and the irony of Mick McCarthy taking the place for (hopefully) Roy Keane's former club in Sunderland will be great.
Birmingham CityYo-Yo city. Destined for another 18/19th place finish.
Playoff Winner (Sheffield Burnley Reading Preston) Lets just look at the history of the last playoff winners: Hull City (dreadful after an amazing start, if they stay up next year bet the farm they go Derby the year after), Derby County (the worst Premier League season in history), Watford (20th by a mile, dreadful dreadful season), West Ham United (stayed up, well done), Crystal Palace (18th, down), Wolves (20th, down), Birmingham (stayed up for a few years, before yo-yoing again).
Outside of West Ham, no playoff team in recent memory has avoided either a yo-yo fate or a fate to drop straight down to the Championship for awhile. When I look at these clubs, I can't say I see a different fate for any of them. If Hull stays up, I'm calling right now a bottom 3 of Hull City, Birmingham City and whoever wins the Playoff.

Tottenham Hotspur: the little engine that could

2009-04-15T11:00:00.000-07:00

This has been a rollercoaster season, to say the least, for Tottenham Hotspur. Expectations were high for Juande Ramos after spending big on the summer purchases of Luka Modric, David Bentley, Giovanni dos Santos, Vedran Corluka and Roman Pavlyuchenko. However the bubble was burst, as Spurs opened with the worst record in club history through 9 games (0-7-2). Juande Ramos was thereafter disposed of (fear not, child, for he has moved on to greener pastures in Madrid). In came 'Arry Redknapp, and the next 9 games went far smoother, with Spurs posting a 7-2-0 record, climbing out of the bottom of the table. The Redknapp Revolution rolled on, adding key players Wilson Palacios, Robbie Keane, Jermain Defoe and Carlo Cuddicini in January.

In all, Spurs have climbed from 20th to 9th during Redknapp's tenure. I would like to take this opportunity to break down the chances of Spurs winning the 7th spot in the league table, and with it the final European spot.

Sitting in 9th, and with 7th a guarantee of Europa League qualification, Spurs obviously need to move up two spots in the remaining six games. Above Spurs (41 points) are West Ham (sitting on 44 points) and Fulham (43 points), while Wigan are even with Spurs on 41 points. I will break this down team by team:

Spurs:

An unenviable schedule is ahead for Spurs, with trips to Man Utd, Liverpool, and Everton still remaining.

Newcastle (H) - 3 points - Newcastle have been our "bogey team" the last few seasons, but not so much at White Hart Lane. Hopefully Shearer's magic will have no effect on us, just as it did on Chelsea

Man U (A) - 1 point - You may say that this is generous, to assume that we will get any points at Old Trafford. I would reply to you that though yes, they are the mighty Man Utd, We have already this year drawn with them twice (0-0 in the League, 0-0 after 120 minutes in the Carling Cup). Spurs have the ability to shut Man U down, and I think we will be motivated amply to do so again.

WBA (H) - 3 points - Need I say more?

Everton (A) - 0 points- Everton own us. They are better and they know it. And it's at Goodison Park... I just don't see us getting it done.

Man City (H) - 3 points- Two incredibly inconsistent teams face off... I base this prediction off of the fact that we beat them at the MiddleEastlands earlier in the season.

Liverpool (A) - 0 points- We played Liverpool in week 38 last season, and they wrecked us. I hope that by this point we will have already secured the 7th spot, but who knows?

That gives us 10 points in our final 6 games, finishing on 51 points.

Fulham

A decently less difficult schedule awaits the Cottagers. Trips to Chelsea (a top 4 side), Newcastle and Boro (both fighting for survival) could prove difficult. Villa and Everton will be difficult tests as well.

Boro (A) - 1 point
Stoke (H) - 3 points
Chelsea (A)- 0 points
Villa (H)- 0 points
Newcastle (A)- 3 points
Everton (H)- 0 points

According to my expert predictions, Fulham will earn 7 points in their final 6 games, finishing on 50 points.

West Ham

The Hammers have arguably the most difficult schedule of these four contenders for Europe. Villa, Chelsea, Liverpool and Everton all remain on the schedule, as well as a trip to Stoke (who boast one of the best home records in the Premiership) and a final weekend contest with Boro, who could still be alive in the relegation battle.

Villa (A)- 0 points
Chelsea (H)- 1 points
Stoke (A)- 1 point
Liverpool (H)- 0 points
Everton (A)- 1 point
Boro (H)- 3 points

As you can see, I predict a West Ham meltdown in the final stretch here. 6 points out of their final 6 games (and honestly, I feel like I am being generous with draws vs Chelsea and Everton) will have them finishing on 50 points.

Wigan

The Latics are served up a fairly easy final stretch, with Man Utd being the only top-half team that they will face. Granted, many of the bottom-half teams will be fighting for their Premiership lives, so they certainly will be no pushovers. Can Wigan put aside their recent poor form and finish strong in the 7th spot?

Rovers (A)- 1 points
Bolton (H)- 1 point
WBA (A)- 3 points
Man U (H)- 0 points
Stoke (A)- 1 point
Pompey (H)- 3 points

And so Wigan finish on 50 points as well. This brings the finish to:

7th: Spurs 51 pts
8th: Fulham 50 pts
9th: Wigan 50 pts
10th: West Ham 50 pts

Truthfully, this is impossible to predict. Games can go either way. I mean in my heart of hearts this is what I would love to see, but nobody can truly predict the finish, especially given how close it is at the moment. Best of luck to Spurs as they push forwards. In the dark they climb the slope, and the bravest thing of all (from the fan's perspective) is always hope!

Wenger out of Whack

2009-04-06T02:00:00.001-07:00

Alright, so I'm not sure if you've heard about Arsene Wenger's new proposal to spice up the league, but in my opinion, his idea is kinda off. Let me back up...
A couple of days ago (sorry not exactly sure when, though think it was on the 3rd) the Arsenal (psht) boss proposed a change to the Premier League's scoring: a team would receive the usual 3 points for a win, 1 for a draw, and 0 for a tie, but also would be rewarded with points equaling their positive goal differential in that game. E.g. you win 4-1, you get 3 points for win + 3 points from g.d. = 6 points from the game. The loser, zero.

I understand where he is coming from with this idea - its nice for teams to score goals, and win with scores like 2-0 or 4-1. It is indeed quite upsetting that Manchester United wins 1-0 on far too many accounts, employing a 'get one and hold em' strategy. However, this is their style of play, and it has been incredibly effective. Can you really fault a team for playing in a manner that wins them championships time and time again?

Also, with this new points scheme, it is conceivable that a team with an inferior record (W-D-L) could end up above a more successful team if they win by large margins. Another flaw with the system is say two teams are tied 3-3 in closing minutes (sick). The next goal is effectively worth 7 points in the table - that's just nuts! (You'll remember when Tottenham came back to tie Arsenal 4-4 in week 10, you know Wenger would be even less pleased if the new scoring system were in play).

A potentially more effective strategy could be to reward teams with a point for every goal they score. So a 4-3 match between A and B would result in 7 points for A and 3 for B, instead of 7 for A and 0 for B, as Wenger wants it. This would also reward goal scoring, attacking play, which is what Wenger has said he would like to see. Better yet, would be to give only a fraction of a point for goals scored, as 1 point per goal seems way too much - say a quarter of a point or something.

However, I have never been, and will never be a fan of goals or goal differential deciding rankings at the end of the season. Have a playoff game - THAT would be exciting (potentially). If spots 12 and 13 are tied on points at the end of the season, and they have a playoff game for bragging rights to spot 12 - boring. But imagine how thrilling it would be to have something similar to the promotion playoff games of the Coca-Cola Championship.

I'm getting wordy. My opinion is this: ONE - Do not ammend the points system, because scoring three points above the team you just beat should not effectively be 2 wins for you. TWO - If some goal differential/total goals proposition is accepted, do not make a goal = 1 point in the table. That places way too much importance on the number of goals you score versus the number of wins, draws, and losses you have. Make it such that 1 goal = 1/4 of a point, maybe 1/3 or at most 1/2.

Bottom line, I love how close the Premeirship table is, and I would not like to see a points scheme change that messes with that.

ESPN (English Soccer Please Nothing else)

2009-04-02T11:38:00.001-07:00

Excuse the poorly executed title. Despite the existence of far superior news sources for the game of football, I can't help but always check ESPNSoccernet. They have one aspect that really no other good newspaper/news source for soccer does, and that's an American perspective. There are always plenty of articles relating to Americans abroad, the MLS and the national team. It's to be expected obviously, as it's an American source intended for an American audience. Then I really have to ask the question, why on Earth is it so Anglo-centric? I can understand a bias towards the Premiership (equally so to La Liga and Serie A) but SoccerNet is becoming pretty ridiculous in how one-sided it is for European football. For the last three days, two of the cover pages have related to Alan Shearer rejoining Newcastle and the game over Ukraine. If I'm coming from an American perspective, do I really care about that more than the 6-1 thrashing Bolivia doled out to Argentina? Or the fact that Bosnia or Northern Ireland are shock group leaders? I don't know a single American without direct blood-ties (i.e. parents, maybe grandparents) who gives two shits about the English national team. Everyone has players they like, I am a huge Steven Gerrard fan for example, but I really could care less about how England do. In fact, I kinda like it when they do poorly, because the British press are absolutely hilarious in times like those.

It's ironic that the website is so biased when it appears the station is not. Sportscenter showed selected highlights from a variety of matches, and only did a particularly long highlight on the USA-T&T match. I've noticed a champions league bias, but that's quite understandable. Outside of huge upsets (on days when the Premiership isn't in action), you're never going to see mainland European news hitting the frontpages of Soccernet, and this flummoxes me. There's probably a plurality amongst soccer fans with Premiership fandom, but I really doubt it's overwhelming enough to basically snuff out any mention of the rest of Europe. Do I really care that much about Alan Shearer or the manager of Newcastle (No). Do I care more about England beating Ukraine than Spain beating Turkey or a handful of other games involving big teams? (No) Do I care about Harry Redknapp's latest soundbits? (Hell no). Maybe it's just been slow news out of the rest of Europe, and maybe I'm just irritable, but really, I'd like to see more variety of my SoccerNet.